Saturday, November 13, 2004

NBA Redux

One dubious book award, five unknown finalists, and everyone's pissed off because . . .

Possibility #1: The authors are all women.

Sorry, after you gave us the vote we just naturally got uppity.

#2: The authors all live in Manhattan.

Which became a literary black hole when, precisely?

#3: The authors have not sold more 2,800 copies of their books respectively.

And yet if they sold two million copies, they'd be labeled vulgar penny-dreadful writers, right? So what is the genteel range in sales numbers?

#4: The authors' books are all similar.

Maybe they hang out together. Maybe it's some NOW conspiracy to have female authors paid the same as comparably successful male authors. There could be alien mind control involved. Hey, let's call Mulder and Scully.

#5: None of the authors are Philip Roth.

I'm sure Phil will endure the humiliation of it all like the gentleman he is.

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