Basket Case

Every year at Easter, no matter how busy I am, I've always dyed eggs and made up baskets and had an Easter egg hunt for my kids. Last year no one ate my pretty eggs (I would have, but they're one of the forbidden things on my diet) and the baskets sat around the house untouched for three months until I threw out the candy (also a no-no for me). One kid bowed out of the egg hunt; the other slogged through it like it was a punishment. All of this was a little depressing for me; I'm not a huge fan of Easter but I've always enjoyed the holidays through my kids and their happiness. Suddenly Easter had become a chore, not a celebration, and I realized it's because while I wasn't looking my kids have gone and grown up. They're both adults now and logically not interested in kid stuff anymore.

This year I made myself march past all the adorable stuffed bunnies, basket goodies and egg dye kits while I looked for more adult ways to celebrate the holiday. And there aren't any; Easter has become like Halloween -- all about the kids. I had to think of what I do for adult family and friends for holidays. I usually hand out gift cards for the market; everyone needs food and I feel like in a small way I'm contributing to their family celebrations. My nephew once told me the market gift card I send to him and his wife every Christmas is his favorite gift, so at least I'm doing that right.

That wasn't going to work for Easter. My kids don't need market gift cards; I do the shopping and the cooking so they have no use for them. What they do love is going out to eat; sometimes with their parental unit but mostly on their own or with friends.

A nice meal is a great gift for anyone, but as I stood in front of that rack of restaurant gift cards I waffled. I felt like I was giving the kids a gift that basically said, "Here. Go away and eat somewhere else." How personal and loving is that? Then I thought of it from the kids' POV. My daughter in particular loves to go out to dinner with her boyfriend; between school and work they don't get to see each other very often these days. Dinner out also = time alone together, and while they don't mind hanging out with us it gives them some private time. They're also both too cash-strapped to do it very often.

I shook off my qualms and bought the restaurant gift cards (presented in an Easter card along with one chocolate bunny, because I simply couldn't resist one mulish reminder of the old days) -- and they were a huge hit. The kids thanked me; my daughter's boyfriend thanked me, and they rushed out to use them, and when they came back, they thanked me again. For once I got it right.

As for not making Easter baskets, well, I cheated a little. My mom has been having a tough time getting through the holidays without Dad, so I made up one basket for her. I've never done that; I always send her flowers. And from her childlike delight in the basket, I didn't mess that up either.

Times change, people change, and the things we do have to change with them. It's tough letting go of traditions and testing yourself in new waters. Parents of children who are suddenly all grown up struggle with this in a million ways. We want things to stay the same because of all the happy memories we collect over the years. We want to hold onto that and have it forever. But we can't, and unless we want to reside by that river in Egypt, we have to let go and move on.

There's a lot of new out there to be discovered. I'm slowly getting up to speed on using the e-reader, although by the time I'm an expert I know the damn thing will probably be obsolete and I'll have to learn to use some other gadget. And I will, because most of my favorite authors and writer pals are publishing electronically now. Even my fiftieth novel, my big landmark book, will first be published as an e-book. I love print, and as long as I can buy it I'll stick to print, but I knew from the first time I saw a prototype e-reader back in 2001 that electronic publishing was coming in a big way. Now it's here, and I have to embrace the change . . . or move to Cairo and learn how to fish.

You youngsters out there won't understand how difficult this can be for your elders, but growing up my generation never had video games, Gameboys or any of those gadgets. Put it this way: I remember when handheld calculators and LED watches first came on the market; the first computer I worked on was the size of desk and didn't have a monitor; it printed out what I typed as I worked and I had to look at the paper to check my entries. Floppy disks were almost the size of record albums (the things music used to be recorded on before MP3s and CDs.) Telephones still had dials and were connected to heavy bases by short little curly cords. When I wrote a novel I typed it on my trusty Royal Academy with a bottle of white-out nearby for corrections. If I wanted to go somewhere I'd never been I used a paper map; if I wanted to write someone I put it on paper and mailed it with a stamp.

Before any of you youngsters sigh -- and I know this is like hearing Grandma grumble When I was in school I had to walk five miles through the snow . . . -- remember that without my generation yours wouldn't be here.

It does all sound a little fantastic now that it's all changed. I miss some of those things but I'm not afraid to put my stories in a word processor program, or e-mail, or use a GPS, or back up fifteen years of my work on a little stick drive. Three stick drives, actually; I don't trust the damn things.

Change can be bad or good or anything in between, but the one thing I've learned it never does is go away.

What changes are you struggling with? Let us know in comments.

Learning Bridge

This looks like a cute cartoon film, and it's funny, but this wisdom it contains might teach the entire world about peace, cooperation, and just plain good manners (background music and sound effects, for those of you at work):

Bridge from Ting on Vimeo.

(Video link swiped from Gerard over at The Presurfer, who's also having an unrelated T-shirt contest)

The Hours

Now that the craziness of deadline week is over, and I finished the novel (plus a set of revisions on another book, because yes, I am SuperWriter) I finally had a moment to sit back, catch my breath and recharge my batteries. It was a nice moment, too, and I'll cherish it forever once I clean the house, bathe the dogs, catch up on my blog writing, update the ledgers, do the filing, defrag and backup both computers, see the accountant, write all the promo posts I've promised, put together my May giveaways, answer about three hundred e-mails, pay the bills, write real letters to friends who probably think I've dropped off the edge of the earth . . . there's laundry in there somewhere, too. Lots and lots of dirty laundry.

And I have to do all this by tomorrow evening at the very latest because I know there will be more coming at me any second and I have to be ready for anything -- or so my overcaffeinated turbocharged laser-focused brain is telling me.

One of my most frequent dilemmas after turning in a book is shifting those mental gears from Get It Done to Knock It Off. Even now, as I sit and write this post, both of my legs are still joggling (it's what I call that jiggly thing people do with one leg when they're nervous; I do it with both legs when I'm writing for long periods of time to keep from getting charleyhorses, numb feet, sciatica flares, etc. That's how the family knows I've been on the computer all day -- they check on me and I'm joggling in my chair like a little windup writer.) Once I reach the finish line I always expect to collapse in an exhausted heap, but the truth is I can't; I'm too wired. Generally I'll crawl into bed after the 168 hour marathon that is deadline week ends and not sleep. No, I'll lay there and stare at the ceiling, thinking of all the things I haven't been doing, what I need to do right away and even plan what I'll do after I get that stuff done.

The sleepless night is a given; I've come to expect it. But on the day after I finish a book I have some rituals I follow throughout the next twelve hours that help engage my creative brakes and help me assimilate back into regular life mode:

Tea and Meditation hour -- first thing in the morning, usually spent with the dogs on the back porch. I have my tea and watch birds, the pups bark at squirrels, and we soak up the sunshine that I haven't seen for a week or better. When thoughts of the work and responsibilities waiting for me intrude, I fold them into mental origami cranes or lotuses and hang them from the back wall of my brain. I know there will always be stuff to do; I use this time to choose something fun that I haven't been able to do.

Something Fun Hour -- This always follows tea and meditation, and no matter how high that dirty laundry pile has grown, fun comes first. This time I finished a hand-written letter in progress to a very patient friend, packaged it up with some other neat stuff and got it ready to mail out that day. Yes, that's my idea of fun. In the letter I talked about Prom dresses and Shepherd's Pie and a little about the novel I'd just finished. I also wrote it with my new fountain pen that was my finish line reward for this book. While some people think hand writing anything is a waste of time, I think it's actually good mental therapy. After seven days of staring at a computer monitor it's quite restful, too.

Time with Family and Friends Hours -- I have imposed on all of them for the last week by locking myself in the office and working nonstop, so this is the time I use to thank them for that by giving them my attention. In addition to wrapping up that letter to my friend I talked to my guy about a well problem we're having and offered to help out with a related online errand; I checked on my mom and listened to her latest news; I got updates from the kids on impending events and priorities in their lives. It doesn't sound like a lot but it does matter to make that effort and reconnect with your crew.

Prioritizing with Limits Hour -- The amount of other-than-writing work I have to do after finishing a book is always pretty hefty, but trying to do it all at once doesn't help settle me down. I take an hour to look at everything, sort out what needs doing and pick a couple tasks to do that are high on the priority list but that won't exhaust me. Doing the online errand for my guy was #1; vaccuuming the rugs #2, mopping the floors #3; making a mail and market run #4, and cooking a real dinner for everyone #5. I could have done fifteen more things today, too, but I wouldn't have done any of them well. Nor would I have enjoyed them because I'd still be operating in Get It Done mode, this time with a super side order of mental exhaustion.

Forgiveness Hour -- after dinner, when everyone has gone off to do their own thing, I take some time to meditate again, but this time for the purpose of making peace with myself. While writing is my job, sometimes the actual doing of it can feel incredible selfish. During deadline week I block out everything but the book, and afterward, I always feel guilty about that. I remind myself that my guy doesn't apologize for working late when he has to put in overtime; nor do the kids say they're sorry when they're cramming for exams or finishing up an important paper. Even today my daughter locked herself in her room after school to practice a new piece of music for hours; she has a difficult solo to play for the Spring concert and she needed the time. It was a good reminder to me to adjust my attitude. I wasn't selfish this past week; I was working my ass off to get the job done.

Reading Hours -- This is how I wrap up the day after deadline week, a couple of hours which will commence right after I finish writing this post. I always save (okay, hoard) some new books to read after I finish writing one, and I can pick whatever one I want and read as long as I'd like. Shifting into reader mode more than anything helps settle down my overwired brain; it's relaxing and soothing and by the time I'm ready to go to bed I know I won't be staring at the ceiling for hours.

Tomorrow I'll repeat this whole process, slightly modified to include another task or two, some time outdoors in the garden and maybe a stroll in the park. I'll also do some writing again because not writing feels really weird (which is why I'm writing this post) but nothing too stressful. Shifting focus like this is a process, and it needs to be a calm and peaceful one, or it doesn't work.

How do you wind down after finishing up a book or another attention-intensive project? Let us know in comments.

Photo credit: David Hughes

Audiobook Cover Peek

Here's a first look at the cover art for the audiobook edition of Nightbound, my May release and the final novel in the Lords of the Darkyn trilogy. It's currently on sale at Tantor's site for 20% off, too, if you'd like to preorder.

Fork Stick Please

Sorry I'm late posting today, but the book (as yet to be officially titled) is DONE.

Now I'm going to let my guy take me out to dinner before I collapse into a quivering pile of tired but very happy novelist.

*thunk*

Spruce Me Ten

Since Spring has (almost) arrived I thought I'd spruce up the blog with some new colors. See what you think of these:

Ten Things I'd Like To Do Once I Finish This Deadline

Dye my hair this color. I've gotten over my hatred of it, and I think the shade would be very attractive on me.

Change my name to Pink II to match my new do.

Become Pink's roadie. My new name will make me a shoe-in for the job.

Brush up on Pink's music, too, since I've never actually heard it except that one aerobics commercial. How bad could it be, right?

Find my bottle of chocolate-covered Valium, just in case the music isn't all that.

Assume the job is going to be pretty bad and move to Tibet instead.

Have wild monkey sex with a friendly but nearsighted Abominable Snowman.

Not worry about having a deadline ever again because I'll be too tired from all the sex to write.

Make lots of quilts so Abominable and I can stay warm and cozy in the ice cave.

See if I think up something else to drive all my visitors crazy. You do know what day it is, right?

Wishing You

Lake Pics

I'm off finishing up my deadline today, but so you don't have to stare at a blank post here are some pics I took the other night at the lake:

Crystal Builders

These two architects have very interesting views on structure and design:

Building Awe-Inducing Crystalline Structures from The Creators Project on Vimeo.

WotC for the Taking

A heads-up on something I mentioned in comments last Sunday: for the benefit of those who are participating in Camp NaNoWriMo (and anyone who wants to read it) I've posted Way of the Cheetah, my how-to writing guide, on Google Docs. It's free for anyone to read online, download, print out and share until the end of April.

To get your copy, click here.

Third Nest

The doves are at it again -- for the third time this year, no less.



This morning I crept out to take some shots of Papa hanging out with Mama.



He seems to be a good Dad, too, as he's never too far away, and visits Mama and the nest frequently. And yeah, he smirks at me, too, but being quite possibly the most fertile dove in existence, I guess he's got the right.

Write Stuff Sales

While doing some online shopping I noticed some deals I thought I'd pass along:

Levenger is offering a 15% discount on orders over $100.00 -- use code SPRING15 at checkout. Among some of the nicer things currently in the outlet is Levenger's original Scheherezade storytelling tile game for $14.95 and a True Writer fountain pen in a gorgeous multi-toned violet for $44.95 (I've always wanted to try out a True Writer so I ordered this one as my reward for finishing the novel. Will report more on it once I give it a test drive.)

Office Depot has a bunch of office supplies on sale this week, including two computer work stations under $50.00, a wireless keyboard and mouse combo under $30.00 and several plastic lidded file storage bins under $10.00. I'm going to drop in at my local brick and mortar OD to have a look at the wireless keyboard combo as I've just about burned out my current plug-ins.

Writer's Bloc has some neat Star Wars-themed Moleskin journals, Sakura gel pens and plenty of Clairefontaine notebooks nicely discounted in their Sale section. I love the little Clairefontaine notebooks and notepads; the paper is a nice weight and the cover and margin art is interesting and fun without being too cutesy or juvenile.

Have you noticed any good deals on writing stuff anywhere? Share the wealth in comments.

Quote Ten

Just a heads-up: it's deadline week again here at Casa PBW, so for the next seven days my online time will be limited and posting here likely light and/or sporadic. Once I turn in my book I'll get back on schedule, but in the meantime here are:

Ten Things About Writing from Famous Scribes

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. -- Scott Adams

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes. -- Dave Barry

If you stuff yourself full of poems, essays, plays, stories, novels, films, comic strips, magazines, music, you automatically explode every morning like Old Faithful. I have never had a dry spell in my life, mainly because I feed myself well, to the point of bursting. I wake early and hear my morning voices leaping around in my head like jumping beans. I get out of bed to trap them before they escape. -- Ray Bradbury

Writing is one of the few professions in which you can psychoanalyse yourself, get rid of hostilities and frustrations in public, and get paid for it -- Octavia Butler

If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. -- Lord Byron

I have always believed that writing advertisements is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is ransom notes... -- Phillip Dusenberry

The desire to write grows with writing. -- Desiderius Erasmus

Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don't try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It's the one and only thing you have to offer. -- Barbara Kingsolver

Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators. -- Olin Miller

Well, my book is written--let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me; and they keep multiplying; but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library--and a pen warmed up in hell. -- Mark Twain

What's your favorite quotation about writing? Post it in comments.

Comments Catchup Day

See you in comments.

Have Giveaways, Will (Virtually) Travel

Hardly seems like author propaganda to post this cover art (it helps that he's very cute and green is my favorite color).

With my upcoming May release of Nightbound I'll be wrapping up The Lords of the Darkyn trilogy, and I'm putting together some packages of all three signed books (including one audio package of the entire trilogy) as well as other reader delights to give away here and elsewhere. I also have seven days still open to impose myself on other people's readers, and naturally I thought of you all.

Seriously, if you'd like to have me make a guest appearance on your blog or journal during the first week of May, please contact me at LynnViehl@aol.com and we'll discuss the details.

Pablo's Bird

This video seeks to illustrate The Me Bird, a poem by Pablo Neruda; I loved the simple yet stunningly fluid animation (some background music, for those of you at work):

The Me Bird from 18bis on Vimeo.

On Retreat

A writing retreat is like a working vacation: the ideal version is to take a trip or sneak off to some quiet spot where one can work without distractions. Most writers love them; as a rookie pro I was a bit bewildered by the whole concept. Go somewhere to write? Why do you have to leave home? Then I was invited on my first retreat with another author and spent two days at the beach doing nothing but writing and talking about writing and swapping chapters and reading and doing more writing. We only left our hotels rooms to sit by the pool and sun ourselves while we proofed pages and discussed story issues. I have to admit, it was a little like spending 48 hours in writer heaven.

The idea of going on a writing retreat to some vacation-type spot is wonderful, too but the cost of transportation, lodging, meals and so forth can make it an expensive proposition. Fortunately there are other, less costly ways for writers to take a retreat, like a free writer's residency. This is when some writing or arts organization provides you with lodging and sometimes other amenities so you can write. Generally you have to apply for a residency, and if you get it also cover the cost of travel and personal expenses, but the free accommodations and no-distractions environment may be worth it (and if you're interested in finding a residency, check out the online database of opportunities at Poets & Writers magazine here.

An even cheaper type of writing retreat is the virtual version. Get together with a writing buddy and set a goal for a day, and update each other on your progress via an Internet connection (Skype, Twitter, Facebook, etc.) If you have a favorite chat room you can have a word war (challenge each other to write as much as possible in a short amount of time and post your counts as you work in the chat room.) If you'd rather go solo, visit an online typewriter site to do some distraction-free work (Big Huge Labs has one here) or try out one of the document creation/editing/storage sites like Google Docs or Zoho which offer free personal accounts.

I take mini-retreats all the time and never leave my house -- my back porch happens to be a quiet, comfortable spot for me to edit pages, and when I'm working out there the family knows to give me some space. Once a year my guy goes on vacation with the kids and leaves me home alone, too; that becomes my week to having a working vacation and write whenever and wherever I like. If you can work out something like that with your family I definitely recommend it.

In April and July this year the wonderful folks over at National Novel Writing Month are holding two Camp NaNoWriMo online writing retreats, during which you can choose to write 50K or set your own writing goal from 10K to 999.9K, share a virtual "cabin" with other writers based on your preset preferences as to genre, age, word-count goal, and desired activity level, and work on the project of your choice (novel, script, short story, epic poem -- you decide.) These retreats are free to participants; if you have a log in from NaNoWriMo you can use that to sign up and join in.

Remember that a writing retreat isn't just a thing you do, it's also a state of mind. You choose to spend x-amount of time to focused entirely on the work. If you can't do that at home, find a place congenial to you where you can. That can be a bookstore cafe, the quiet room at your local library or a picnic table at the park. Pack a lunch, grab your laptop and head out (and if you're going to an outdoor location, check the weather forecast first.) If you have a friend with a spare bedroom, you might ask if you borrow it for a day. Test drive different places and see where you're most productive, too.

Writer Junk Journal

Back in January I promised to show you how I made a trio of small journals out of some ordinary materials -- which I did with a pack of index cards and a deck of playing cards. This month I had the final challenge of making a journal out of this mini spiral-bound notebook:



Which is now a writer junk journal:



To make this journal I first tore out half the pages (more on what I did with them later in the post) and used the remaining pages as foundations for some interesting specimens from my paper recycle bin. I covered each page front and back with old calendar pictures, junk mail, cutouts from magazines, old photos and postcards, trimmings and other discarded bits. I framed each page with some decorative paper tape left over from last year's massive art project and added a few pockets, tags and little envelopes throughout for writing and saving notes.



I didn't plan anything or go with a particular theme, which made it fun to assemble. Once I had the pages refurbished I made a quilted cover for the journal out of a damaged quilt block. I'm still figuring out how I want to fasten it together so for now I just have a strip of muslin tied around it:



As for the pages I tore out, I trimmed off the binding tatters, cut them into strips and chunks of various sizes and tucked them into an envelope I mounted in the back. These will come in handy when I want to write a note about something to add to the pages:



A junk journal can be used for whatever you want to note and save. I think they're a great way to journal small because with the lined pages covered you won't feel pressured to fill them up with writing. You can add a few words or a note to any page, or just tuck something into one of the envelopes. I'm going to use mine for magazine clipping, articles, take-out cookie fortunes and other little things that would otherwise get lost in the shuffle.



This was a good practice project for me, too, as it's the first junk journal I've ever made. Working on this little journal has given me a confidence boost to try my hand at a more ambitious project: transforming this old beauty into . . . well, you'll just have to wait and see.

Lost and Found

I've noticed lately the news is chock full of fascinating finds:

Found: Violin that played as the doomed Titanic went down more than 100 years ago

Medieval Knight Remains Found in Edinburgh Car Park

Roman artefact discovered in Sudeley Castle cupboard

Discoveries like these can be excellent story starters, too. Robin Cook's Sphinx was no doubt inspired by real life; while I was reading it I kept thinking of Carter finding Tutankhamun's tomb. I knew from the moment I first read of Ötzi the Iceman that someday I'd write a fictional version of his story in one of my novels (and it took a while, but eventually I got my chance in Shadowlight.) Even something lost that isn't found can inspire a storyteller; Dean Koontz used the disappearance of the Roanoke colony as part of the plot for his book Phantoms (one of my writer pals believes the same event inspired Stephen King's It, too).

In a sense all stories are a quest for something. In fantasies there's usually some object of incredible power everyone wants, in mysteries the objective is solving a puzzle to find the truth. In romances the characters are seeking love as much as each other. Horror stories are all basically monster hunts, while memoirs are journeys into the past and one's self. This is why the first question I ask a character when I'm creating them is What do you want? -- when you know that, you've got the basic foundation to build on as well as design inspiration for your story elements.

If you want to draw on a real-life find for a story, ask yourself a couple questions:

Why does this discovery fascinate you? You want to write about something that engages you as a storyteller, but you also want to know why. For me it's always the chance to fill in the blanks, aka figuring out how to explain what we don't know. Such as what was Ötzi doing up there in the mountains when he died, and why was he killed?

Can you translate fact into plausible, original fiction? I've always thought those crystal skulls they've found all over the world were very interesting, and would make a great novel. I even wrote a couple plot outlines on how I'd handle them. Then Stephen Spielberg appropriated them for one of his Indiana Jones movies and used a plot idea very similar to my own. This doesn't mean every storyteller who wants to use crystal skulls in their fiction should give up, but you should find out what's already been done so you don't go in the same direction.

Is there enough room with this find for invention and reinvention? Incorporating the copper scroll of Qumran into my Darkyn series was a major ambition of mine, but the scroll itself wouldn't work. It was too old, it was made of copper, it was found in the wrong place, etc. I had to reinvent the scroll to get it to fit into my universe, which meant renaming it, reconstructing it out of gold, reworking the history and so forth. In the end the real scroll was simply inspiration versus having a place in the story, which was fine because I wasn't writing the real history of the actual scroll.

Probably the most important aspect of what you quest for in your story is its value to the reader. They have to want to find it as much as your characters; this is what engages them to stick with the story. Finding and authenticating the violin that was played on the Titanic is a good example of this: it's a symbol of tragedy and courage because of the events that happened during the last time it was played. Without the backstory it's just an old damaged violin someone found in an attic. So what you can do with that? What if it was repaired? What if the first time it was played the original owner showed up to reclaim it? The violin is still old and tragic, but now it's haunted, too.

What real-world discovery do you think would make a great story? Let us know in comments.

Not a Dime Ten

Ten Things You Can Have for Free

Freeware caution: always scan free downloads of anything for bugs and other threats before dumping the programs into your hard drive.

The Aero Clockis a "simple but at the same time beautiful desktop clock with alpha transparency. This very decorative desktop clock shows the local time at the Desktop. The basic functions: total transparency, size, setting, and the selection of the Clock-texture or the appearance are available. The Aero Clock does not have to be installed and can be executed easily from the desktop" (OS: Windows 2000/XP/2003/Vista/7 [32-Bit/64-Bit])

ColorBug is a "handy color-picker tool, which makes it simple to select colors. It allows to determine colors from other applications, and to find matching colors. This is especially useful for designing websites, and other graphic works" (OS: Windows XP/Vista/7)

FotoSketcher Portable is a "program which can help you convert your digital photos into art, automatically. If you want to turn a portrait, the photograph of your house or a beautiful landscape into a painting, a sketch or a drawing then look no further, FotoSketcher will do the job in just a few seconds" (OS: Windows XP/Vista/7)

FreeText is a "simple and easy-to-use notebook for making notes, keeping to-do lists, storing information on accounts and contacts, etc. It can be helpful when you need to save a link, interesting citation, phone number or to simply insert text from a clipboard for a short time" (OS: Windows XP/Vista/7/8 [32-Bit/64-Bit])

Goswaintha Diary is a "freeware personal diary software/journal software/program, could become your personal digital diary and journal software to record your daily events and memories, in your creative words. Runs on Desktop PCs, and Netbooks too. For everyone who enjoys writing journal of their day to day actions and events. GoswainthaDiary is freeware, and requires no payment for any commercial license/use. GoswainthaDiary is a very simple, yet comprehensive free personal diary software product! If you write daily entries and memoirs in diaries, why not at least glance at digital diary software, which is specialized only for this purpose. If you are a diary freak, this personal diary software, is just the right stuff for you! Record all your historic daily events and actions, right into a diary/diary software, as your own expressed creative words. There's also a rough notebook in GoswainthaDiary, just in case you wish to store any kind of note, into it's true appropirate place" (OS: Unspecified, and the designer's web site is down, but looks like Windows.)

In My Diary is a "smart, free personal organizer. The main display is based on a traditional diary format but, although all entries appear as one line of text, each actual entry can contain as many lines as required. Diary entries can be set to auto-repeat at the required interval. In addition to the daily diary, there is also a daily journal facility, a calendar, Password Manager (and generator), Address book with flexible labelling system, Anniversary entries and a notes section with links to diary entries" (OS: Designer notes "It runs on Windows XP, Vista or Windows 7, and on Apple Mac (10.4 and above). There is also now a native version for Linux OS or the Windows version can be used and works well running in the Wine emulator")

Memoria is an "easy tool to keep a journal, a diary, or write your biography. You can create entries for a day, a month, a year, edit the text and print the result as a pdf file" (OS: Unspecified but it looks like Windows.)

Task List Guru is a "task list organizer ideal for personal task management and small project management. You can organize not just tasks, but also task lists, notes and reminders. Task List Guru has a hierarchical task list tree with icons that allows you to organize all your todo lists and notes in a structure with icons. You can choose from 48 different colorful icons for your to-do lists - this makes using this organizer fun" (OS: Windows 8, 7, Vista and XP, both 32-bit and 64-bit)

TeamViewer is a "simple and fast solution for remote control, desktop sharing and file transfer that works behind any firewall and NAT proxy. To connect to another computer just run TeamViewer on both machines without the need of an installation procedure. With the first start automatic partner IDs are generated on both computers. Just enter your partner´s ID into TeamViewer and the connection is established immediately. With many thousand users worldwide TeamViewer is a standard tool to give support and assistance to people in remote locations. The software can also be used for presentations, where you can show your own desktop to a partner, e.g. to present a software solution. TeamViewer also is VNC compatible and offers secure, encrypted data transfer to maximize security" (OS: Windows 9x/ME/2000/XP/Vista/7)

The Writer's Workbench is a "single tool that incorporates the various tool types that many writers use to create an Integrated Writing Environment (IWE). It provides these various tools without binding a writer to a single structure or vision for constructing a story and seeks to enable the creative process by providing immediate access to any story artifact in the tool without the obtrusiveness of having many windows opened at the same time" (OS: Windows XP/Vista/7)

Comments Catchup Day

See you in comments.

Photo Credit: © Duard Van Der Westhuizen | Dreamstime.com

Always Forever

Every writer has little idiosyncrasies they bring to the writing life or acquire along the journey. For example, I use only Courier New font for my work. I'm not a font snob; I prefer it because I wear trifocals and I can see the punctuation marks without squinting. A few years back I started writing a draft of the last chapter of my novel before I reached the midway point of writing the actual manuscript so I'd have something to work toward, and to get rid of my last-chapter anxieties. That little trick, which I read about online, proved 100% effective for me. And while I can write dressed in pretty much anything (often my pajamas) I can't summon a single word if I'm barefoot.

I write a lot of e-mail; I don't count them but after glancing at my Sent folders I think I average about fifty to a hundred per week. Last night I got an e-mail from a colleague who jokingly signed off with xoxoxo as protest to an anti-signoff article. That was the first time I'd heard of that (and the first time I'd gotten virtual kisses and hugs from a colleague), so I went looking for the piece, found and read it.

My search results also suggested that the poor guy is already at the bottom of a massive pile-up, so I won't add to it by naming him or linking to the article. He's obviously wrestled with the issue, and I don't think he really meant to beat up on anyone but himself. In the process of defending his opinion, however, he casually insulted everyone who writes letters, e-mails or anything else that is traditionally signed off with a Sincerely Yours or Best Wishes or Cheers. Considering how much correspondence we all write, however we write it, that's a lot of people. That's probably billions of people.

I wasn't deeply offended, probably because I've wrestled with the issue myself. I started out like most using Sincerely as we were taught in school to sign off e-mails, and progressed to Best Wishes and then to the abbreviated Best. I still use Best with business correspondence or with people I don't know well because it sounds a bit warmer than Sincerely but not as lofty as Best Wishes. For reader mail I settled on Always, mainly because no one else was using it and it's one of the two ways I sign off when autographing books. With friends I generally use some variation of Hugs. I like Hugs; it's warm and friendly and personal. I mean it, too; I'd give them all real hugs if I could.

There are plenty of sign offs I don't like. I'm not a big fan of the authorial sig block so beloved by the writer organization crowd, the one that lists upcoming releases, award nods and sometimes even bookseller links; personally I find the really long ones a little tiresome. At the same time I know the pressure to promo put on every writer, so I don't take offense (nor do I mean to ridicule anyone who uses them; I just don't care for them) Same thing with Cheers; I was a bartender and while I've tried using it a few times myself that word will always be a toast to me. Makes me occasionally wonder if the other person is inebriated or expects me to be, too.

Despite the inherent awkwardness of the e-mail sign off I don't think it's outdated or that it needs to be eliminated. Removing it from our cyberlives might buy a few more seconds to Tweet something clever or update the Facebook status, but it would erase something far more important: a chance to express some respect or affection. When you end a telephone call, or you go to work, or you send your kids off to school, you wouldn't think of just hanging up or driving off or slamming the door shut. You say take care, have a good day, see you tonight -- or even simply good-bye.

We exchange these words because no matter how much the world progresses or becomes gadgetized, that moment may be the last time we speak to that person, Maybe for today, for the week, for the month, or for the rest of our lives (or theirs.) For these reasons I am so glad the very last e-mail I sent to my friend Monica Jackson signed off with a Hugs, and the last words my father heard from me over the phone, when he was still conscious and could understand me, were I love you, Dad.

I'm already a dinosaur, so I don't think anyone will mind if I continue using my e-mail sign offs. I hope you will, too. Some things should not become antiquated, and like our lives, our chances to say farewell are not infinite.

Always,
Lynn

Le Ha

I love the French.

The Never-Read Library

This morning a friend asked me to describe my professional methodology in ten words or less. At first I did it in seven: Pitch, sell, write, edit, polish, submit, publish. Then I had to fiddle with it and rounded it out to ten: Create, pitch, sell, write, edit, polish, submit, revise, promote, publish. I would have liked to pen something more lyrical than a string of ten verbs that sound like the instructions on a shampoo bottle, but to me the path to publication is not an especially poetic experience. Being a professional writer is a job. You do these things -- you do the work -- or you don't publish.

I felt almost a hundred percent happy with my response, and my friend liked it a lot, too, but something was still missing. I figured out what last night while Mom was watching Jeopardy, her favorite game show. I sat down to keep her company and play Fourth Contestant to amuse her. As long as there are no sports categories I can usually guess about 85% of the responses correct (and last night I went 100% correct for all the answers to both the Alcohol- and Hittite-related categories, which I'm pretty sure most writers would probably nail.)

Then came the Final Jeopardy question, the category for which was British Novels. As soon as the relatively simple clue about a Thomas Hardy book went up I knew the answer: Tess of D'Urbevilles. Everyone has read that book, I thought, so everyone would get it right.

No one got it right. One guy came up with Jude the Obscure, the lady answered Clearwater, and the champion didn't even bother to guess. As Mom nagged me for the thousandth time about trying out for Jeopardy (she's sure I'd be the show's all-time greatest contestant; I'm sure I'd get nothing but sports categories) I smirked a little. How could three grown adults not have read Thomas Hardy? I mean, Tess of D'Urbevilles may not be as widely read as A Tale of Two Cities or Jane Eyre or Cantebury Tales, but it is a classic. This trio were young but obviously college-educated; the lady was some kind of teacher. How do you go to college and not have dudes like Thomas Hardy pounded into your skull?

In one sense I could understand their ignorance. I never cared for most classic literature, and I've gone to a great deal of trouble to avoid reading some of it. Not all; Shakespeare and Chaucer were decent, and aside from The Grapes of Wrath, which I still wish I could burn from my brain, Steinbeck was okay. Conrad and Chekhov were ghastly, though. Faulkner puzzled me as much as Melville repelled me, but I plowed through them. Attempting James Joyce is like trying to read when you're seriously inebriated, but I do try once a year, and he's actually helped with understanding Faulkner. I developed an infantile fascination with Poe in high school that I eventually outgrew, but I still have some moments when I ponder the psychic bruising Hawthorne inflicted. I loved Austen, loved Charlotte Bronte, and went wild for Wilde, and still read them all the time. So if I'd been on the show last night I would have wagered everything in the final round because I am well-read, and if I hadn't read the book in question I would have figured it out.

Which is exactly what happened last night, because while I got the right answer I've personally never read Tess of D'urbevilles. I did the exact same thing a few nights before with the Final Jeopardy clue about Classic Lit Novels. I guessed Anna Karenina as the correct answer even though I've never read the book (the reference of the train in the clue made me think of all the movie posters I've seen with Anna standing next to a train.)

My triumph didn't last long as I began to wonder just how many classics I've been consciously avoiding reading, and why, so I wrote up a list of the first that came to mind:

Anna Karenina -- Russian literature seemed so depressing that after the compulsory Chekhov-Cherry-Orchard assignment in school that I dodged as much of it as I could.

David Copperfield -- They made me read A Tale of Two Cities in the ninth grade and that was enough Dickens to last me forever. AToTC is also the only book by Dickens I've ever read, so add the remainder of his backlist.

Gone with the Wind -- Grandma loved it, Mom loved it, I haven't even watched the movie. I still don't think anything about the Civil War is even remotely entertaining.

Moby Dick -- they forced us to read Billy Budd in school; I think that was the tenth grade. That was such a revolting experience that when it came time to read the whale book I decided getting an F was better. One of my fondest memories of school, in fact, is remembering the look on that teacher's face when I turned in my book report, which consisted of four words: I didn't read it.

War and Peace -- Too long, lousy title, and again the mental scars left by Chekhov.

Wuthering Heights -- Too many girls in school worshipped this book for me to do anything but run from it as fast as I could. Until the cat cartoon came out I always thought Heathcliff was a stupid name, too.

Aside from my natural aversion to Gone with the Wind and my reluctance to join the Wuthering Heights herd, I think school ruined me for classic lit. While I now appreciate that most teachers want to instill a love of reading in students, the majority of the books they demanded my generation read were too depressing, wordy, heavy, ponderous or simply boring. What kept me from hating all classic literature was the public library. There I discovered on my own Austen and Shakespeare, Bronte and Thoreau -- I read classics all the time. This was due to my method of browsing at the library, by starting at the A shelf in fiction and gradually reading my way to Z. If I came across a book that was too difficult to understand or that didn't engage me, I just put it back and went to the next author.

I also know that my mental blocks have kept me from discovering some great books. Case in point: Chekhov truly did ruin Russian literature for me; I wouldn't voluntarily read any Russian author until I picked up a book with a strange cover, didn't look at the author's name and was spellbound by the tale of what it's like to spend one day in a Soviet labor camp. That novel, One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, remains the one book I think everyone in the world should read.

Which brings me back to the fact that I knew the answer to the Final Jeopardy question without having read Thomas Hardy's book. Over a lifetime I've acquired a mental Cliff-notes type library of knowledge about books that I've never read, basically so that I never have to read them. My Never-Read classics library is pretty good, too; I've had long conversations about Gone with the Wind with unsuspecting folks who remained unaware that I've never once read the book or watched the movie.

Feeling superior to three Jeopardy contestants who had no knowledge of Thomas Hardy when I'm really no different from them makes me feel like a cheat and a bit of a hypocrite. The reason for that? Goes back to the one word that I left out of my professional methodoloy, the eleventh word that I believe is absolutely vital to any writer's process: READ. Read anything and everything. There is no cheat code for reading, either. You have to get a book and sit down and read it.

So today I am ordering a copy of Tess of D'Urbevilles. Yes, I'm going to read the damn thing. Cover to cover if possible, or as much as I can stomach. Then I think once a month (or as often as I can stand) I'm going to try reading all the other classic lit I've been avoiding since school. I'm not expecting any life-changing experiences, and it's likely that I won't finish a lot of them, but I will give them a try. Maybe that will help me empty the shelves of my Never-Read classics library and someday shut the place down for good.

So now it's your turn: what's on the shelves of your Never-Read library, and why? Have you ever considered overriding your natural inclinations to read any of those titles? Let us know in comments.

Quilt Show Goodies

I'm still off writing, but I did want to mention that I'm holding a giveaway over on the Disenchanted & Company blog that runs through Friday night. Stop in if you get a chance, enter the giveaway and you might win the contents of Her Ladyship's hat box:

Ninja Texting

I'm off today to do some writing. While I'm gone, here's a new and very cute way to text:



Want to have a tiny little ninja do some texting for you? Go here.

Sub Ops Ten

Ten Things About Submission Opportunities

Eibon Vale Press has an open call for their Caledonia Dreaming antho: "Glaikit, mockit, droukit, drouthy, couthy, scunner, thrawn – the Scots language is rich with words too gallus not to glory in, dialect terms that deserve better than to be boxed away as precious oddities. For us, those words aren't quaint parochialisms of a past preserved in amber; they're wild wee beauties, straight razors slashing keen to the quick of meaning. We want stories that wield them as weapons for today, for tomorrow. We want you to pick up one of these words and flick it open to gleam in the light of the 21st century. Play with it, work with it, give us a story that riffs on it with relish – the sound, the sense. Run wild with it, ye ramstouger rannigants, and send us the result." According to Ralan.com, payment is £15-£20; length is 1k-12k, no reprints, and electronic submissions only. Submission deadline is 31 May 2013.

White Cat Publications is looking for good quality fantasy stories for their bi-annual Conjurings: "We are interested primarily in good quality writing in the fantasy genre. We will consider stories of any variant of this genre. We do not accept poetry at this time. We desire First English Language serial print, audio and digital rights so that we might present your work in all formats within the magazine." Length and Payment: "Short Stories and flash fiction: We accept stories up to around 5,000 words in length, three cents per word up to 5,000 words. Reprints are paid out at one cent per word." Electronic submissions only, see guidelines for more details. Winter deadline: December 20th, 2013.

Eggplant Productions wants to see some spec fic novella submissions: "All types of speculative fiction (fantasy, science fiction and horror) are welcome and reprints will be considered; however, you should query first with story and publication information before submitting a reprint. Short story collections, full length novels (40,000 words or more), poetry collections or non-speculative fiction novellas will not be considered for open submissions." Length: 20-40K; Payment: "$250 (USD) advance + 25% royalty of list price." Query on reprints, electronic submissions only, see guidelines for more details.

The Fiction Desk is holding a ghost story competition: "Most of the stories we publish at The Fiction Desk are more or less realistic, but we try to stray outside that from time to time: some genre fiction should be part of any balanced reading diet. One genre that we'd like to feature more of in our pages is the ghost story. The competition is open now, to all English-speaking writers at the age of 16 or over. There's a first prize of £500, and a second prize of £100; both winners will also be published in an upcoming Fiction Desk anthology." Also: "Entries should be between 2,000 and 5,000 words in length. The entry fee is £6 for one story or £9 for two stories submitted together, and the closing date is 31 May 2013." [PBW notes: I'm not happy about the entry fee requirement but it's not outrageous, and the prizes are decent, so I thought it was worth listing.]

Goldfish Grimm is accepting short fiction submissions: "Short stories are like sushi. Sometimes, they make delicious appetizers. Other times, they’re a full course on their own. For all discerning tastes, Goldfish Grimm aims to please. Everything is on the table, so serve up your best. From hard sf and space opera stories to fairy tales and medieval yarns, we’ll consider it all. Don’t be afraid to take risks and show us something new. Cursing, sex, and violence will not offend us. Just make sure it has a point, okay?" What they want: "Goldfish Grimm’s Spicy Fiction Sushi wants fantasy and science fiction stories ranging from 100-7500-words. Each month we’ll be accepting two stories: one 1,000-words or less, one 1,001-words or more. Stories that fall around the 1,500-word mark will be published as flash or as the longer story based on the editor’s judgment and the overall theme of the issue. Preferred length for longer stories is somewhere between 3,000 and 5,000 words." Payment: "$10 for flash fiction; $25 for longer works." See guidelines for more details.

The Lakefly Literary Conference is holding three different no-fee fiction contests for authors who reside in, attend school in Wisconsin, or register for the Lakefly Literary Conference May 10-11, 2013. Rather than list all the details I'll let you few who actually meet that criteria go to the submissions page and have a look.

Montag Press is accepting novel submissions: "Of primary interest are the following genres and sub-genres: Speculative fiction •Science fiction •Horror fiction •Subversive fiction •Utopian and Dystopian fiction •Apocalyptic and Post-Apocalyptic fiction •Experimental fiction •Urban Fantasy •Dark Fantasy •Existential Horror •Paranoid fiction •Ex0-Fiction •Xeno-Fiction •Altered States [PBW notes there is a lot more they're willing to look at, too; go to this page for the full list.] Length: 40K+; Payment: "$100 advance; 30% net." The web site says no reprints but Ralan notes okay "if self published" [PBW suggests you query.] Electronic submissions only, see guidelines for more details.

Stone Skin Press has an open call for an upcoming Gothic-themed anthology: "The Gothic is the most enduring literary tradition in history but in recent years friendly ghosts and vegetarian vampires threaten its foundations. This will be a collection of short stories which revisit the core archetypes of the Gothic, the rambling, secret-filled building, the stranger seeking answers, the black-hearted tyrant, and reminds us not to embrace but to fear the darkness. The focus of this anthology will be on fear and atmosphere, rather than graphic horror or full out action, and will draw on the themes of the Gothic so if you’re not entirely familiar with them, the wikipedia entry is a good place to start." Length: 3-6K; Payment: to be negotiated. No repints, electronic submissions only, see guidelines for more details. Deadline: April 30th, 2013.

Sword and Laser has an open call for their first anthology: "Sword and Laser’s first anthology is intended to be a celebration of scifi and fantasy fiction. What are we looking for in a story? Diversity. Not helpful? OK. Here are some better guidelines. Interesting characters. They can be evil or nice or mean or stupid, but they should be worth spending time reading about. Original settings, point-of-view, and voice. Not necessarily within your story, although that’s important too. But we want lots of different kinds of stories in the anthology. Hard for you to manage when you’re not reading all the other stories, but suffice to say if you’ve seen a story like yours before, it’s less likely to get chosen. Unique experience. We’re not going to ask you to ‘write what you know’ and also expect stories about aliens and dragons... form most of you... but situations and reactions drawn from your unique experiences that expose us to something new, will definitely be a plus. Stuff happening. Believe it or not, some people write stories where nothing happens. Please don’t be one of those people. Have a central, compelling idea or conflict. We want exciting ideas and character growth. At least a little. Love, laughs, fights, philosophy, insight are all also welcome. It needs to be in the genres of science fiction and fantasy. We define this pretty loosely of course. Not every story has to have spaceships or castles. We hope they don’t! But the farther you stray from the center of the sword or laser styles, the less likely we’ll want the story. That said, you’re not restricted in how you tell your tale. All styles, all settings, and all tones are welcome. Write the very best story you can, and do your best to surprise us with a new take on the genre!" Length: "We recommend a length of 1,500 – 7,500 words. We may choose to print shorter or longer stories in some cases, but this should be your target word count." Payment: "We pay $200 (US) upon acceptance." No reprints, electronic submissions only, see guidelines for more details. Deadline: May 15th, 2013.

Third Flatiron Publishing has an open call for an upcoming themed antho: "We are now seeking stories for the Summer 2013 anthology, which will have a "Playing with Fire" theme." [PBW notes: there's very little info on this op, but I found the following description on another page at the site: "Fires and backfires from inventions (Greek fire?), culture clashes, climate change, comets and meteors, Hephaestus, and so forth." Also, the editor detailed the sort of stories she'd like to see in a blog interview here.] Length: up to 3K; Payment: "Please note that we've raised our pay rate to 3 cents/word." Appears they don't want reprints and I'll assume they want electronic submissions only. Deadline: March 31, 2013.

Catching Up

See you in comments.

Sea of Colors

Sorry I'm late posting today, but I have a really good excuse:

Peru in 2:36

Take a gorgeous 2-1/2 minute tour of Peru with Cole Graham (some background music, for those of you at work):

a few weeks in Peru. from Cole Graham on Vimeo.

Handy Mystery

Today I'm over at Disechanted & Co. talking about how this artwork solved a big problem for me -- to find out more, stop by.

The Write Stuff

I'm always looking for unusual writer junk, and on my last office supply run I made some neat little finds that I wanted to share.

I picked up this quartet to the left at BAM. Here are more details on each, clockwise starting at the little green journal:

One Word A Day Mini-Journal by Knock Knock -- This is a palm-size hardcover that gives you 365 opportunities to "choose any word to describe your day and write it down." Journaling doesn't get any simpler or more concise than that, and there's even enough room to write a few more words if you want to say more; $12.59 with my discount card.

Small Edgewise Journal by Orange Circle Studio -- this flocked turquoise little beauty of a journal has 144 white and soft pastel ruled pages, interesting edge tabbing plus an elastic ribbon to keep it closed. The binding allows it to lay flat as you write in it, and it's small enough to tuck in a purse or a large index card holder; $3.60 (on sale at 50% off.)

Origami Sticky Notes by Suck UK -- 100 sticky notes imprinted with picture diagrams so you can fold them into ten different origami critters. Office notes will never be the same; $3.59 with my discount card.

A Year of Fortunes (without the cookies) by Knock Knock -- I bought one of these little hardcovers during the holidays to give to a family friend; it contains 365 preforated, dated fortunes with wry sayings on one side and lucky numbers on the other; $14.85 with my discount card.

I also rummaged around the bargain bins at BAM and found two unusual journals:



You have to peek inside to see wwhy they're unusual:



The Tri-Coastal Script Journal offers widely-spaced ruled pages that give you about twice the writing room as a standard journal (perfect for scribes like me who don't have tiny handwriting); the Pepper Pot journal on the right with the starburst cover design has graph-ruled pages with color-striped edges. The fact that I got them for $4.50 and $6.73 (50% with an extra 10% off for my discount card) respectively was a nice bonus.

From BAM I went to Target to look for some notebooks and binders and see what they had on sale. They have a new line of "Sunwashed" office supplies under their own brand that I really liked with dreamy photo designs and lovely colors. When I'm working on a particular project I like to color-coordinate my writing stuff so I can find everything with a glance, so I picked up a binder ($4.99), legal pad/clipboard padfolio ($8.99), journal 3-pack ($5.99) and pencil box with pencils ($4.99):











I also found a lot of notebooks and journals marked down for clearance, and scored an 8" X 6" 80-page Mead notebook with those lovely dot-gridded pages instead of lines ($2.65) as well as a slightly smaller, 80 page Horizon groovy hues ruled notebook with a front pocket and an elastic closure ribbon ($1.98):





I got an additional 5% discount off everything for using my Target Visa at checkout. Target also had every 2013 pocket planner, desk blotter, wall blotter and so forth heavily discounted, and clearance prices on some nice smash book and scrapbooking supplies, so if you're in the market for any of those it maybe worth a trip to check them out.

Calm & Cool

I've always wanted to design a motivational poster for writers, and now I have:



Want to customize your own version of the Keep Calm poster? Go to the TheKeepCalm-o-Matic and do it for free online.

Bucket List Ten

Ten Things I'd Like to Write Before I Kick the Bucket

Advertising Copy: I've written plenty of my own advertising as well as cover copy for many of my novels, but someday I'd like to do that for someone else's product (one that I personally believe in, naturally.) It could be any sort of ad, jingle or even a one-line quirky mission statement, ala Kashi's Seven whole grains on a mission. You know that Kashi thing is kind of catchy. Maybe author Sofie Kelly needs one like Two magical cats and a librarian on an investigation. Or author Jeff Somers could use Two tricksters and a rune-covered chick running from Armageddon. Sofie, Jeff, call me before I die, okay?

Dear Prez: I do dream of writing a letter to the President of the United States that is so powerful and persuasive that the President himself reads it instead of the Secret Service and/or one of his flunkies, and then is so moved he actually does something about it. I should get a fifth grader to coach me; they do it just for homework and get a response.

Grafitti: Nope, I've never written it once in my entire life. Why? Because I knew my mother would find out and kill me. Don't laugh, that woman has eyes everywhere. Maybe I could write it somewhere on my house. That still counts, yes?

Liner Notes: I might just do this for my own album collection someday; you know, just rewrite all the liner notes. It's not illegal, and like Linkin Park is going to come to the house and inspect my CDs.

Memorable Limerick: Limericks are hard to write; I've penned a couple but they weren't very good. I'd like to write one that would forever more be considered a classic. Probably would have to be really funny, or really filthy. Or both!

My Phone Number on Someone's Hand: It looks so cute in the movies, doesn't it? Never ever did that because I'd use the notebook in my purse. That's the problem; there's always a notebook in my purse.

Screenplay: Now here's a little known fact about Yours Truly: I did co-author a screenplay that made it to the semi-finals of the very first Project Greenlight. Since I also did the bulk of the actual writing on that one, I think I could swing one on my own. I'd even write one about Publishing, except they already did the Matrix movies.

Secret Book: I'd like to write one book without telling anyone about it, hide it somewhere with a big box of all that gold my grandmother left me. When I know the end is near I'd sprinkle around a few cryptic clues as to its location. Whoever finds it can use the gold to publish it, because of course that's what they'd want to do with gold. Stop giggling. Anyway, the first clue would be contained in a ten things list about things I'd like to write before I die. Kidding. Or maybe I'm not. Maybe I've already done it. I bet you're sorry you laughed now, aren't you?

Song: I have written lyrics a few times for songs composed by some musician friends, but I'd like to compose an entire song on my own. This one might be tough as I'm also the least musical person I know. Probably because I can't read or write music. Yeah, this one is going to be tough.

Wedding Vows: I personally always went with the traditional stuff whenever I got hitched. Did the Justice of the Peace thing, too. As I don't intend to ever marry again they can't be mine, but I wouldn't mind taking a shot at writing them for someone else. Or maybe a book of wedding vows for every occasion, i.e. first marriage, second marriage, tenth marriage, the marriage so one can get on the other's group health insurance, that vow-renewal thing they do just after barely avoiding a divorce . . . .

What's on your writing bucket list? Let us know in comments.

Catchup Day

What is Catchup Day, anyway?

Winners

I'm glad to see so many of you are trying new or new-to-you writers; I often do the same when I'm restless or in a reading slump (and thanks to your many recs I now have a list of new-to-me writers to try out.)

We got the magic hat to stop flirting with Her Ladyship's Hat Box -- man, I didn't even plan that -- and the winners of the Storm Warning giveaway are:

Michelle in Colorado Springs, who wrote Name in the hat please,this books sounds cool.

Kristen, who commented New to me author I can't get enough of is Chuck Wendig. Both of the books I've read from him kept me up way toooooo late. Now I want to start over and read them again.

Margaret Yang, who commented I haven't discovered anyone new and fun in a long time. Name in hat, please!

Susanne, who wrote Please put my name in the Magic Hat - the book sounds great!

Dunabit, who wrote Lou Morgan. I picked up her debut, BLOOD AND FEATHERS, and became an instant fan. Funny enough, I had the same response to Rob Thurman.

Winners, when you have a chance please send your full name and ship-to address to LynnViehl@aol.com so I can get your books out to you. My thanks to everyone for joining in.

Minding the Office

Can architecture dream? In this mind-bending video it can (and for those of you at work, there are some structural-type sound effects):

555 KUBIK | facade projection from urbanscreen on Vimeo.

Storm Warning

It seems almost appropriate that I started reading Jeff Somers's new novel Trickster during a tornado warning; I'm thinking we should issue one for this author. Not since I innocently and unknowingly picked up Rob Thurman's debut Nightlife have I been so blown away by a new-to-me urban fantasy writer.

Trickster introduces us to Lem and Mags, a pair of magician grifters who barely subsist on the extreme outer fringes of society. Lem is skinny and clever and a screw-up; Mags is huge and not so clever and devoted to Lem. While running small cons (which they mostly botch) they stumble upon a girl named Claire whom they find tied up and locked in the trunk of a car. Even worse, someone has covered Claire's body from head to toe with runes, marking her as part of a very big, extremely dark and utterly mysterious ritual. Lem and Mags know enough about big, bad magic to understand they should run, not walk, away from Claire. When they don't, the ugly party really gets started.

Jeff Somers delivers this story with tenebrous style and sepulchral wit (which he employs mercilessly, I'll warn you.) Think Steinbeck, if he'd had a straight razor's edge and a real attitude problem. You shouldn't expect anything gruesome in this novel to be draped with a doily of politeness or shoved offstage; you definitely will be having tea and cookies with all the beasties in the good parlor. While the characters are demonstrating how unlikable they should be -- as Lem frequently observes about his sort in the story, We are not good people -- you'll be falling in love with them. I certainly have. Also, the magic involved isn't of the Tinkerbell variety; there are always consequences, and most of them are disastrous. The world of Trickster is grungy, bleak and filled with nightmares, and this novel gives you a front-row seat in the VIP section on the tour bus. I can't wait for the next ride, either.

As always, you don't have to take my word for it. In comments to this post, name a new-to-you author you've recently discovered and enjoyed (or if you're in a reading slump, just toss your name in the hat) by midnight EST on Friday, March 1st, 2013. I'll draw five names at random from everyone who participates and send the winners an unsigned copy of Trickster by Jeff Somers. This giveaway is open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.

Elsewhere with Hat Box

Today I'm over at Disenchanted & Co. to hold my first giveaway at the new series blog. Stop in, check out Her Ladyship's Hat Box (a distant cousin of the PBW magic hat) and you just might win whatever happens to be inside.

Want a hint? Okay: It's definitely not bigger than a hat box . . .

Three Sub Ops

Freedom Forge Press is open for novel and novella submissions: "We’re looking for novels, novellas, and nonfiction works of about 25,000 – 100,000 words. All works should fit the theme of freedom—freedom of thought, freedom of action, freedom of the individual. We are open to any genre (including nonfiction, general fiction, sci-fi, fantasy, young adult) with the exception of erotica as long as the work fits the theme of freedom. Excessive violence, sex, and profanity should be avoided, but these elements should be included when integral to the plot. Works for young adults should be limited to a “PG-13” rating. Works for children will be published under our Freedom Footprints imprint." Length: 25-100K, Payment: "20% royalty of cover price for print; 35% royalty of cover price for e-book." Query on reprints, electronic submission only, see guidelines for more details.

Monster Corral e-zine is holding a monthly 1K monster story contest: "The prize is $50, a digital certificate suitable for printing and framing, and bragging rights. First Runner Up will receive $10, and only slightly less bragging rights. The 1,000 word limit is strict – stories of 1,001 words will not be published (unless we love it so much we’re willing to edit out a word or two to squeeze it in under the limit.) Any genre is acceptable, but the story must have an extreme antagonist (MONSTER) as the featured character. If the story doesn’t win either first or second place, we may seek to buy it as one of our regular stories at our usual rate of 1 cent/word. Submissions must be emailed by the last day of the month, and judging will be complete no later than the 10th of the following month. The First Runner Up story will appear on about the 14th of the month, and the winning story will appear on about the 17th of the month. Submit your story using the normal procedures for Monster Corral (click on the Submissions button to see our guidelines) but be sure to include the word ”Contest” in your email subject heading." [Note from PBW: It appears this contest centers on a theme image, too; see guidelines for this month's image.] Current Deadline: February 28th, 2013.

Zero One Publishing has an open call for their upcoming Lovecraft-inspired antho Whispers from the Abyss: "This collection is the first ever H.P. Lovecraft themed anthology specifically tailored for the growing “commuter market.” These are people who do their pleasure reading on digital devices while riding home from work on the subway, or during a lunch break." Length: 150-3000 words; Payment: "One cent per word up to 3000 words and a copy of the anthology." Reprints okay, electronic submission only, see guidelines for more details. Deadline: May 30th, 2013.

These three ops were found among the many market listings at Ralan's place.

Ampersand Ten

Ten Author Collaborations We'd Like to See

Bill Clinton & Dr. Phil: Not on a revised edition of Family First, obviously, but I bet they could write up a slamming self-help for men with toxic narcissism.

Janet Evanovich & Jane Austen: It is a truth universally acknowledged that Stephanie Plum needs to make up her damn mind and pick either Morelli or Ranger. Meanwhile, Lulu runs off with Mr. Wickham.

Sue Grafton & Dean Koontz: Kinsey discovers she has an evil twin who works at a carnival filled with monsters no one but she can see, but at least she finally gets a dog.

John Grisham & Rev. Rick Warren: What if The Firm had been Purpose Driven instead? Even creepier, am I right?

Stephen King & Danielle Steel: The body count wouldn't decrease much, but a collab rewrite of Lisey's Story would result in it actually becoming a romance (at least until the red shirt hero gets bumped off during a tragic car accident or being eaten by his car, whichever comes first.)

Suzanne Somers & Stephenie Meyer: There are all kinds of mutual benefits in this one: Sexy Forever wouldn't need a title change, Bella could stop being such a klutz, and no character would ever age again . . .

China Miéville & Lemony Snicket: Imagine the novels we'd get out of these two! A Series of Unfortunate Events in New Crobuzon. The unKind Kraken. Un Lun Dunce. Okay, this one might be suitable for my personal amusement only.

James Patterson & Joel Osteen: Alex Cross can be saved before he must die. Unless you buy the next book. (There's the script for your next commercial, James. You don't have to thank me.)

Anne Rice & Judy Blume: The first book has to be titled Are You There, God? It's me, Lestat. Has to be.

J.K. Rowling & Harper Lee: Three words: Scout at Hogwarts.

Pass the Catchup, Please

As I mentioned last week I'll now be spending Sundays reading and replying to comments -- see you in the threads.

Winners

The entries for the Nine Lives giveaway were really magical -- bravo to you all for making such marvelously creative suggestions (and the next time I adopt a kitty, I know who I'm asking to help me with a name.) We got the magic cat, I mean, hat, to do its thing, and the winners (along with the names they chose) are:

Anne V.: I might call a magical cat Dresden after a favorite wizard for hire.

Deb Salisbury: My most magical cat was Mystic, a little black queen from the California Gold Country.

bluebamboo: Rowan, a mash-up and slight spelling tweak of Rod and Owen from Shanna Swendson's Enchanted Inc. series.

SandyH: . . . I decided that our next cat would be named Darcy (yes, after that Darcy - my most favorite book).

Terri R.: Mistofeles, from the musical Cats

Bonnie (Bonz): Miss Minerva Delurvah!

Jennifer and Jeff: How about FNU? (Pronounced Fin-oo) It also stands for First Name Unknown.

Lisa954: Poof! would be the name I would give to a magical cat.

Na: I would like to name a Magical cat Whispers.

Winners, when you have a chance please send your full names and ship-to address to LynnViehl@aol.com so I can get your books out to you. My thanks to everyone for joining in and helping to celebrate our pal Darlene's NYT bestseller debut.

Bon Ton

This video manages to be wickedly clever, visually interesting and utterly hilarious (some music, and narrated in French with English subtitles):

C'est la vie - ENGLISH SUBS from Simone Rovellini on Vimeo.

Poster Me

While image searching for some cover art for a large print edition of one of my novels (the few print copies I have came to me all dinged up) I found something I'd never seen in the results: two quote posters with my byline:



I traced the images back to The Quote Factory, which allows you to download "famous quotations" in low resolution (screen use) for free or higher resolution (for home printing) for a couple bucks. You can also create your own custom quotations, which is how I imagine the quotations from my books got there - I've seen both before on that Goodreads site.

Since I'm already quoted on the site I thought I'd try to create my own poster with something interesting I've said about writing, and with a few clicks produced this on the screen:



I then downloaded the free version of my poster, which comes out like this; pretty nice for a low-rez image. While anyone with a decent photoshop program can produce the same sort of poster themselves, the Quote Factory is a fun generator to play with (there are a few choices as to the type of background, font and layout.) I also like the option to download whatever you create for free -- just remember that whatever you create stays on the site and can be sold to others.

Nine Lives

Guess whose latest release is debuting at #9 on the New York Times bestseller list this week?



Yep, that's Cat Trick, the latest Magical Cats mystery by Sofie Kelly, aka our pal Darlene Ryan. I've loved this series since the first book hit the shelves so you know I'm a very happy girl. There is also nothing more awesome than seeing a friend who is such a gifted storyteller skyrocket to the top of the lists.

I know how I'm going to celebrate: by giving away some copies of Ms. Kelly's brand new bestseller, of course. If you'd like one of them to be yours, in comments to this post tell us what you'd name a magical cat by midnight EST on Friday, February 22nd, 2013. I'll draw nine names at random from everyone who participates and send the winners an unsigned copy of Cat Trick by Sofie Kelly. This giveaway is open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.

Tuesday Ten

Ten Things About Color Palettes and Palette Generators

Freeware Caution: always scan free downloads of anything for bugs and other threats before dumping the programs into your hard drive.

Big Huge Labs' Color Palette Generator will generate a color palette (complete with inventive names and HTML codes) based on any of your photos.

The 30 day free trial of Color Wheel Pro software allows you to create innumerable color palettes of your own.

According to the designer, ColorBlender.com is "ia web-based tool for creating color palettes (here referred to as "blends") for web design and other types of digital design. The main feature of the tool is to have a complete "blend" of 6 matching colors created when choosing only one "base" color. This makes it very quick and easy to create a color scheme for e.g. a website, as you can instantly use the colors for text, backgrounds, links, border etc."

ColorRotate allows you to work with virtual colors in 3D (I didn't want to register so I couldn't past the front/splash page, but I was able to rotate the cone thing and the site is frequently recommended as legit and very helpful.)

CSS Drive's Image to Colors Palette Generator also generates palettes based on any of your photos but gives you a range of palettes from light to dark as well as a complete color palette.

Tiny Eye Labs' Multicolr Search Engine allows you to pull up a selection of Flickr photos that match the color (or combination of colors) you select for the search.

ColRD's Palette Creator page changes according to the colors you pick, and also allows you to export your custom palette designs.

Pictaculous generates multiple palette suggestions based on your uploaded image and works from your phone, too.

Silk allows you to create online with virtual silk (this lovely link was stolen directly from The Word Nerds.)

59times.com's Web Color Generator generates some neat random color palettes.

Finally, I thought this ColorMatters.com article on color branding and trademarking was a fascinating read.

Tardily Elsewhere

Today I'm very late but I know you'll forgive me when I tell you I'm working on the next Disenchanted & Co. novel. I'm also over at the Office of Letters and Light Blog today talking about traditional versus independent publishing. I don't call anyone any names (since I've done both that would be a bit hypocritical) but I do point out some facts about both. Do stop by if you get a chance.

Comments Catch-up Day

This year I wanted to be a better blog host and make more of an effort to respond to the comments you all are so kind to leave for me. I started on this goal in January but other responsibilities derailed that in short order. Now that I'll be updating the Disenchanted & Co. blog as well as my photoblog I do need to make some changes to be more productive with my online time.

I think the only way I'm going to manage this is to devote one day a week to simply answering on comments. This will keep me from becoming distracted or doing a haphazard job of it. Since weekends are a bit less hectic than weekdays I thought I'd reserve Sundays for catching up. If nothing else I'll find out how many I can answer in one day's allotted internet time.

So, I'm off -- see you in comments. :)

Winners

I know it's hard for series lovers to pick a favorite; I have so many that I had to do that "If I were stranded on a deserted island and could only have one series with me . . . " thing. Even then I could whittle the list down only to three: Marjorie Liu's Hunter Kiss novels, Anne Maxwell's Fire Dancer books, and The Petaybee Trilogy by Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough. If I can't have all three series then I'm not going to the island, lol.

We revved up the magic hat, and the winners of The Adventures of Miss Temminnick giveaway are:

Karen Renee, who still favors Lord of the Rings.

Caroline, whose favorite series last year was the Parasol Protectorate.

ten, who chose Zenna Henderson's People.

Winners, when you have a chance please send your full name and ship-to address to LynnViehl@aol.com so I can get your books out to you. My thanks to everyone for joining in.

Urban Growth

This looks so real it's a little scary -- and brilliant (also has background music, for those of you at work):

New York Biotopes from Lena Steinkühler on Vimeo.

(Video link nicked from Gerard at The Presurfer)

Her Ladyship's Weblog

Today I'm unveiling the official weblog for my Disenchanted & Co. novel series, which features the first official excerpt from Her Ladyship's Curse (the header font might also look familiar, and thanks to everyone who offered feedback; I decided to go with #4.)

To visit my virtual Toriana, all you have to do is click on the pocketwatch:



I'd also like to wish everyone: