I spotted another writing kit the last time I was at BAM, and decided to buy it to play with in December after NaNoWriMo (nothing is getting between me and my novel this month.) Naturally I had to open it to see all the bits and pieces, and there were some books and a pack of cards, and it all seemed pretty nice (I'll write up a real post about it after NaNo, when I've had a chance to test-drive it.)
The only problem I saw was that it is basically more of the same thing I've seen before, which boils down to a self-starter kit: "What to write if you're depressed, blocked, or otherwise completely clueless as to what you should write." As those are definitely not my usual problems, it made me think about the sort of kits for writers that I'd like to see put on the market. More realistic, genuinely helpful stuff for writers who don't need a jumpstart would have to cover a lot more ground, I think.
My first pick would have to be this one: 1001 Ways to Describe Your Novel Setting Without Falling Asleep and Drooling All Over Your Keyboard. Then maybe one for unruly characters who don't want to follow my outline: The All-Purpose Make 'Em March to Your Tune Character Repair Tool Box. I wonder if Dremmel could make an attachment for that. I should call them.
I'd absolutely need this one for those days when the pups want to play more than they want me to write: Placating Pet Strategies for Busy Writers (manuscript-shaped chew toys included!). Also one for the high school kid: 200 Pre-recorded Variations of "Those Other Girls Are Just Jealous of You" "Your Nose is Not As Big as a Toyota" and "You Are Wearing That to School Only Over My Dead Body". I think I'd need some bonus ear plugs in that one.
It doesn't have to be a kit per se, either. I'd love to see a lovely Quick Recovery From a Bad Writer Friendship gift basket, or some nice Stop Backtracking and Editing Before You Ruin The Damn Thing velvet-lined blinders and handcuffs. Wouldn't those make terrific holiday gifts for writer friends, too? I think a Ignoring the Indifferent Editor motivational CD would be a hot seller, as would a Getting Even with My Evil Critique Partner planner. A My Agent Doesn't Hate Me, He's Just Not Returning My Calls Because He's Really, Really Busy pacifier might work if it can't be chewed through, but the Surviving Horrible Cover Art wubbie would have to come with a bunch of extras (I'd donate the chocolate-covered Valium). So would the Hatchet Job Review First Aid kit.
All right, it's your turn: what sort of realistic writer kit would you like to see on the market? Tell us in comments.