When composing an author newsletter, consider the following:
1. Probably not a good idea to name your series with a word that unhappy readers will subsequently use to describe your writing.
2. Keep the predictions hopeful and minimal. May save you a lot of egg/face.
3. Refrain from begging.
4. Calling your unreleased novel ground-breaking is premature. Break the ground first, then take the credit.
5. Talking about your characters the same way you do real people can creep out the civilians.
6. Unless you're naturally funny, test all jokes on a real person first.
7. Gushing about yourself is like cheerleading in a church. A little goes a long way.
8. Whining about how busy you are does not create the illusion of glam.
9. False heartiness generally sounds false. If you can't be genuine without depressing the hell out of everyone, have the happiest person you know write the newsletter for you.
10. Quadruple-check the accuracy of the ISBN number, title, release date, and publisher of your novel. Also, check the spelling of your own name.
What bugs you guys about author newsletters?