Friday, December 31, 2004

Last Ten

Ten Things that I Learned in 2004

1. Surviving a major hurricane does not exempt you from getting hit by another one. Or another one. Also, never take a nap anywhere near a window during a hurricane.

2. Writing a 105,000 word novel on a PDA makes you an Extreme Writer. Being unable to back it up or print it out makes you a Slightly Crazed Writer.

3. Even under professional circumstances, it is extremely difficult to produce a polite "Thank you" when you all you really want to say is "Piss off." Waiting 24 hours before saying a word helps.

4. Footnotes in a fiction novel are pretentious. Footnotes in a fiction novel that carry on to the next page are a mile-high, fluorescent pink, animated billboard that screams pretentious.

5. You are never as known, or as unknown, as you think you are.

6. Never assume people get you. Explain things, preferably in words of two syllables or less, and send pictures. Lots of pictures.

7. Demanding the best is expensive. Settling for second-rate costs more.

8. Love leads the first charge onto every battlefield. It also hangs around afterward and helps you carry out the wounded.

9. Be careful what you wish for, especially when other people are mentioned prominently in the body of the wish.

10. Nothing bad lasts forever; it only feels like it does. And that thing people say when they're under extreme stress: "Someday we'll laugh about all this" ? No, we won't.

Goodbye, 2004.

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