Small Print

We used to make fun of these directions on bottles of shampoo: Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Okay, but when do you stop?

Last year my daughter brought me a box of Christmas lights and pointed out the warning printed on the back: For indoor/outdoor use only. She asked, "Where else is there, Mommy? Everything is either indoors or outdoors."

Tonight I read this limited lifetime warranty disclaimer for "the toughest cell phone pouch on the market today": This limited warranty does not cover damages caused by accident, misuse, modification or normal wear and tear. So unless the pouch disintegrates the minute you take it out of the package, you're SOL?

I need an aspirin, but I'm afraid to read the label on the bottle.