Friday, December 31, 2004

Last Ten

Ten Things that I Learned in 2004

1. Surviving a major hurricane does not exempt you from getting hit by another one. Or another one. Also, never take a nap anywhere near a window during a hurricane.

2. Writing a 105,000 word novel on a PDA makes you an Extreme Writer. Being unable to back it up or print it out makes you a Slightly Crazed Writer.

3. Even under professional circumstances, it is extremely difficult to produce a polite "Thank you" when you all you really want to say is "Piss off." Waiting 24 hours before saying a word helps.

4. Footnotes in a fiction novel are pretentious. Footnotes in a fiction novel that carry on to the next page are a mile-high, fluorescent pink, animated billboard that screams pretentious.

5. You are never as known, or as unknown, as you think you are.

6. Never assume people get you. Explain things, preferably in words of two syllables or less, and send pictures. Lots of pictures.

7. Demanding the best is expensive. Settling for second-rate costs more.

8. Love leads the first charge onto every battlefield. It also hangs around afterward and helps you carry out the wounded.

9. Be careful what you wish for, especially when other people are mentioned prominently in the body of the wish.

10. Nothing bad lasts forever; it only feels like it does. And that thing people say when they're under extreme stress: "Someday we'll laugh about all this" ? No, we won't.

Goodbye, 2004.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

2005

The nine novels I have scheduled (or planned) for release during 2005, listed by title, pseudonym, book type, publisher and genre:

1. March If Angels Burn by Lynn Viehl, mm, Signet. Dark Fantasy

2. April Life is a Three Ring Circus by Rebecca Kelly, hc, Guideposts. Inspirational

3. August Bio Rescue by S.L. Viehl, mm, Ace/Roc. SF

4. August Afterburn by S.L. Viehl, hc, Ace/Roc. SF

5. December Private Demon by Lynn Viehl, mm, Signet. Dark Fantasy

The books for which I don't yet have dates, info or contract ink:

6. Rebel Ice by S.L. Viehl, mm, Ace/Roc -- Book #6 of the StarDoc series. Publisher has not given me a release date and I'm not guessing anymore. SF

7. & 8. Biblical Historical Novel #1: This will be released in Spring, but I am not permitted to publicize any info on these without my publisher's permission, which I don't have. Same goes for Biblical Historical Novel #2, which comes out in the Fall. Historical/inspirational

9. Untitled, GCI Series Novel, by Rebecca Kelly, September -- I haven't seen a contract for this one yet, so while it's scheduled I can't count it. Inspirational.

Correction

Although the hardcover edition of Bio Rescue did nicely over the summer, it collided with the paperback release of Blade Dancer. The Blade reprint hit the SF pb bestseller list, which definitely impacted my hardcover sales. This, and no mention of anything from the publisher, had me telling people that, far as I knew, Bio would probably not be coming out in paperback.

A reader promptly wrote back this morning to inform me that, in fact, the mass market edition is already on sale.*

I don't know why people ask me about the books. I mean, I only write them. Obviously that means I should be the last person to know.

All I can say is, sorry. Again. Thank God for my readers, or I'd never find out anything.

*With a release date that collides head-on with the hardcover release of Afterburn. Why am I not surprised?

Rumbles

This morning someone (you know who you are) e-mailed links to a fresh little blog war, as additions to my ever-growing Authors Behaving Badly file. It is extremely tempting to post the links, as the rumble is a decidedly nasty three-way, but if I did I'd just become the next writer they jump. These days I try to avoid waving my hand in front of a frothing mouth.

I'm not in the mood, either. Today my baby girl turns ten years old, so I'm shifting into birthday mode. Also, I found out this morning that we've lost Jerry Orbach this week to prostate cancer. I loved him and I can't believe he's gone.

If you know what rumble I'm talking about, and are tempted to jump in, just compare the blog war to the death toll from the Asian tsunami. Real horror and tragedy puts the ridiculous in perspective, every time.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Milestones

This year I've smacked face-first into some hefty landmarks, most personal but some career-related. Some I've talked about here, and some I haven't, but everything 2004 could throw at me has been thrown, caught, and pretty much handled. It helps to live with three people who love me, and have friends ever-willing to stand with me.

In 1975, I earned my first check as a writer for a short story that I entered in a contest at a local community arts festival. The contest was for adults, so the judges were a little surprised when a fourteen-year-old me showed up at the awards ceremony. I wore my best church dress and held my mom's hand as I went up on stage. The check was for $25 -- the second place prize; a sixty-year-old man took first place -- and was more money than I had ever made at babysitting ($.50 an hour), even on New Year's Eve ($10 for the whole night.)

I still have the second place ribbon they pinned to my dress that day, as well as the winning story, tucked away in the filing cabinet. I signed over the $25 check to Mom, who was newly-divorced, terrible with money, and struggling to keep a roof over our heads. I can still remember how she looked when I gave her that money, which she used to buy groceries for us.

Twenty-three years would go by before I earned another dime as a writer.

Each year I keep track of my hours, and at the end of the year I figure out what would be my hourly wage. On average, I work about 84 hours per week. In my first years as a pro, I earned quite a bit less than minimum wage. This year my income moved over the six figures line; my first time there as a working writer. That's equal to about $25 an hour.

Does it sound like I'm gloating? Maybe I am. I do have to keep up my cold-blooded, non-artistic, mercenary bitch image, you know. And I have never forgotten that fourteen-year-old kid, or how often she handed over her babysitting money so that her mother could put food on the table, or how it felt to make that very first $25 from writing.

I will never forget that.

Today my mom is retired and on a fixed income, and she still struggles to keep a roof over her head. It would help if she didn't hand out money to anyone who needs it, but that's Mom: forever generous, loving, and terrible with money. One of the Christmas gifts I gave her this year was a gift certificate to Publix. She specifically asked me for it, and used it to buy groceries for her and Dad.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Nine

Slaughtered the last of my novel deadlines a few minutes ago. One final read-through and it goes in the box and out of here.

faint but sincere whoop

Being the nice, compassionate boss that I am, I'm giving myself the rest of the year off.

Monday, December 27, 2004

In Our Spare Time

Ten Things Writers Do (Other Than Writing Books)

1. Artist -- Sheila Kelly
2. Attorney -- Carol Stephenson
3. Auctioneer -- Cynthia Thomason
4. Cartographer -- Holly Lisle
5. Director -- Neil Gaiman
6. Musician -- Stephen King
7. Quilter -- Tamara Siler Jones
8. Photographer -- Lazette Gifford
9. Stray Rescuer -- Poppy Z. Brite
10. Teacher to the Homeless -- Linda Barrett

Propaganda

My interview with SF reviewer Tim Doyle is up over on the BookThink web site, along with a generous review of Bio Rescue.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Ungrateful

I hope everyone is having a lovely holiday, and I'm very grateful for all the terrific e-mail and cards. We had a very peaceful Christmas and are looking forward to a better New Year.

Only one thing bothered me over the last couple of days, and that was the whiny tone of some of the industry end-of-the-year articles I've been reading. Such as: Nonreaders are the most rapidly growing demographic in the publishing industry, according to this article, with 40% of the adult population (of America?) averaging not even one book per year. This is, according to AP, what is making publishers and booksellers feel "grateful just to break even."

I'm not grateful, and I don't buy into this. Neither should you. This is what I'm doing about it:

Each year I go to area schools and give talks to children about writing and what it takes to publish a book. Often I am the first author the kids have ever met. I hand out journals for the kids to use, and explain to them why anyone can be a writer. This past year, I read them the letters I've received from soldiers in Iraq who carried my books with them as they went into combat, what I consider the highest honor I will ever receive as an author.

Each Christmas the first items on my shopping list are books. I probably spend 50% of my gift budget in bookstores, but I regard books as the best gift you can give anyone. Every kid I know gets at least two age-appropriate books from me, and my own children generally have to clear off half a shelf. If there is a movie I know the kids liked, such as Ella Enchanted, I buy the book that inspired it and ask them to read it. For adults, I buy novels or nonfiction books, depending on what I think would be enjoyed. Buying books for other people is fun.

I do buy a lot of books for myself; on the order of about $3K - $5K per year. Before we moved this year, I donated over 5,000 books to Friends of the Library. I share books with friends and other writers as well. One of my writer friends who is probably reading this has my copy of Anne Perry's No Graves As Yet and I'll be sending her the excellent but harrowing sequel, Shoulder the Sky (my Christmas gift to myself.)

I give away 98% of my author copies. I keep three copies of each book I write for me and my kids. Of the rest, half go to friends and family, and half I give away to readers and people who for a variety of reasons can't afford my books. Every Valentine's Day I take a bag of signed books to the nearest hospital and give them to my favorite real-life heroes, the ER staff.

I don't write for children, but any child who writes to me can expect a personal response. If they have questions, I answer them. If they are interested in a writing career, I encourage them. At least a dozen kids I have corresponded with are now in high school and plan to make writing their major in college. Eight of the aspiring writers I've mentored are now published authors. I regret that I can't actively mentor now as I have in years past, which is why I started writing this weblog.

That's what I've done to keep the book alive, writers writing, and the industry in black ink. What are you doing, and what more can you do?

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Christmas in Florida

We have no snow here in Florida, and the only colors the leaves turn are brown after the trees are uprooted and killed by a hurricane. Unhappily, we've got plenty of brown in our landscape this year.

We put up our usual outside lights this season, but saw that very few other people did the same. Times are tough and unemployment is rampant, so you see more garage sales and homemade fruit stands than lighting displays when you drive around town.

The drabness might depress me if I didn't get up before dawn. Each morning I take a break from the writing and sit on the porch to watch the sunrise. We have an amazing sky here, as we're at the very top of a hill with nothing to block our view. Most mornings dawn is lovely, and on rare days, it is spectacular.

PBW wishes you and yours a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

May the colors of your holidays be as glorious as mine.

Snowdog

The best flash e-card I've ever seen, 100% safe for kids and work.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Past Blasts

People regularly e-mail me looking for things they remember reading on my old weblog. Now that Blogger has this neat search-your-archive feature, here are

Ten Things People Always Want Links To

No-Brainer Fudge -- very rich, four ingredients, doesn't require a candy thermometer or much effort.

The Worst Gifts trilogy: Ten of the Worst Men Buy for Women, Ten of the Worst Women Buy for Men, and Ten Things You Should Never Give a Woman For Christmas -- these are pretty timeless.

For the Seasonally Depressed: Ten Reasons You Should Not Commit Suicide.

For Those Planning Their Writing Conference Schedule for 2005: Ten Signs You've Attended Too Many Writing Workshops.

The Widow Version 2.0

Writer Trick #7 on how to handle showing the passage of time and related details in your writing. I don't know why everyone loves this one so much.

Ten Quotes About Reviewers and Critics

Ten Last Minute Gifts Under $20 -- make sure you get a 2005 version if you go with the calendar.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

The Maxed Man

Over the weekend I gave an interview to Mad Max Perkins, the blogger who has been creating a stir with his weblog, BookAngst 101. The interview was the result of an interesting exchange I've been having via e-mail with this guy since answering a survey for authors on his weblog back in November.

To give you what lowdown there is on Max, he uses a pseudonym to protect his identity and invites other industry pros to comment anonymously on the blog. All we know about Max is what he tells us, which is this:

"Mad Max Perkins has worked in the book trade in a variety of capacities for over 20 years and is currently a senior executive for a major New York publisher."

I like that variety of capacities in particular. Reminds me of some of the excellent dodges I saw on resumes when I was a comptroller and tried to hire a decent secretary. Note to aspiring secretaries: do not put "typing on various equipment" if the only thing you can operate is a telephone key pad.

Anyway, Max's survey asked fairly standard questions like "What (if anything) did publisher #1 do especially well as pertains to the positioning/marketing of you/your book(s)?" and "Why did you switch publishers?" but he was also interested in changes in sales and marketing effort, and whether or not the publisher delivered on their promises.

I thought Max might be an author posing as an editor (or marketing director, "executive" can mean a lot of things, but I'm going with editor.) Trusting soul that I am, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and sent in my answers. His first personal e-mail to me opened with this line (and please note, Max has given me his permission to post these excerpts):

"I'm digging into the survey responses, and I think you for your honesty & specificity."

Okay, so Max forgets to hit his spell check, but hey, you know I can relate to that. :) He was also careful not to squash my toes:

"I know this is terribly inappropriate of me--but it sounds like you make a pretty good living, no?"

Sounds a little French, doesn't he? And he admitted he didn't know everything about publishing, and thus earned another gold star in my book:

"I'd have to consider you one of the real success stories of this survey--and it comes from a realm I didn't even know existed! (I don't mean the genres, but that you get paid a flat fee etc.)"

I like people who don't pretend they know everything; they're less likely to piss me off. I responded with my usual candor, and he appreciated it:

"This is PRECISELY the reason I started this site in the first place--in hopes of discovering these avenues to which you allude, and giving writers--and publishers--something else to try."

Nice motive, and I mean that sincerely. I suspected he also wanted to get some fresh angles on marketing for his own career purposes, as he wanted to know more:

"Can you be more specific? Even if you don't want me to talk about it in the survey, and/or want to withhold certain details, I'd DYING to know how YOUR plan is different from what I've heard--and even said, myself..."

I have no problem with this, either. Shared information is the only way we can improve the industry. Quote me on that.

After I gave Max the information he requested, I didn't see any results from the survey posted (it never occurred to me that he might not be getting enough response to the survey to post useful results.) The only communication he sent me after the survey was a reminder to read at particular post at BookAngst in which he had other industry pros endorse him.

Frankly the endorsements annoyed me. I have little patience with coyness to begin with, and this read like another dodge. Also, I'd been very up front with this guy, but now he seemed more worried about his credibility than posting the survey results and following through on his promises.

After reading that endorsement post, this was my unsolicited advice to him:

"...the whole justifying the anonymous thing is getting old. If you're so afraid for your job or your reputation that you have to hide who you are, you shouldn't be doing this. If you're not, and you truly want to change things, just be honest. Hiding behind your industry buddies while they vouch for you only makes you look foolish. As does continuing to contact me when I don't know who you are."

He didn't tell me who he was -- and I still have no idea who he is -- but he came back with a quick response:

"I'm afraid I don't agree--I think there's utility in what's going on there, and frankly I won't be able to continue doing it if I go public, for a variety of reasons. If you want me not to send you updates, I certainly understand, and I apologize for the inconvenience. I hope it's still OK to use your story in this writer-survey I'm working on--please advise if not."

Up until this point I thought Max might be bullshit, but I work for a lot of editors, and the above paragraph has "editor" written all over it. If I'm wrong and he isn't an editor? The guy should be one.

I happen to like editors, so I sat down and thought about it. I'd been honest; he was still wearing a mask. He was actively working on the survey, something I hadn't known, and he sounded more legit than ever. I don't like being scammed, but what I'd told him was pretty much what I'd tell anyone who asked.

I decided to trust my instincts and regard Max as a genuine person with good intentions. Our exchange continued from there to an interview, which Max will be posting on Book Angst sometime after the holidays. The interview is under my name -- well, one of them -- because I do share information, and I don't have anything to hide.

Who knows, maybe if enough authors follow my example, maybe we can eventually unMax Max.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Nobel

Author Elfriede Jelinek has won the Nobel Prize for literature. Ms. Jelinek is happy about the money she was awarded, but not much else, and in an interview stated that Austrian response to her winning the prize is very negative.

"Jelinek withdrew from public life in 1996 after the populist Freedom Party of Austrian nationalist Joerg Haider denounced her writing as low and immoral art, an opinion echoed by the Vatican last month when it criticised the Nobel academy's choice."

Always good to see writers being appreciated and encouraged by their countrymen and the church, isn't it?

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Create

I've seen some pretty weird generators on the internet, but this is the first time I've found a Religion Creator.

You select a religious base, such as Old Testament, New Testament, or New Age, and then fill out a longish form. It's worth it, though, because it generates the text of your new religion. Here's mine:

"From the most gloomy regions of the spiritual plane, I have channeled the disembodied spirit of Socrates, bringing to you the wisdom and cup of the lost city of Paris. To usher in the New Age of lights you must heed my words and run brilliantly. The time is soon when the space carriages of our galactic cousins will return and our collective greatness will reach critical mass. The highest frequencies of the universe will spiral through the eye chakras of the worthy, and our 3rd hand shall be opened. But first we must look deep inside and accept our inner box. We must feel the inner box, become the inner box, read it as though it was a cat. We must accept our karmic past, and, as our yogi master, Ricochet Rabbit, always says 'The true form of a lynx is actually a gigantic lamp, but enlightenment is like a pretty quilt on the wind'. For there is no right or wrong, no bed or anti-bed, only one great and omnipresent popcorn."

Hmmm. Call me skeptical, but I don't know that I'll be donning a white bathrobe, cleaning my double-ought and whipping up a big batch of grape Kool-Aid based on this any time soon...

Laughs

Not many blog titles (or the title graphics) make me laugh out loud, but this one did: Losing the Space Race. Some very funny stuff on here, too.

("Honey!" she yells across the house. "I'm not the only one on the planet anymore!")

Giveaway

If you're interested in getting your hands on a copy of If Angels Burn a little early, stop by here for details.

Family

We have a new addition to the family: a tiny ball of hyperactive white-and-apricot fur, Sweetie Pie, named for what I called him the first time I held him in the palm of my hand. A hamster topped my daughter's Christmas wish list, and we decided she was old enough to have a pet of her own (as in, she cleans the cage, she feeds and waters him, she watches for illness, etc.)

Instead of waiting until Christmas, we took her to the store a little early and let her choose the one she liked, along with all the hamster cage/food/bedding stuff. This was a typical family event, in which everyone had to go and see and help her decide. Pie seems to be a good pick; he doesn't bite and he sure loves that wheel.

You're nodding off now, I know, but when you consider how screwed up this last year has been for us, a boring family trip to pick out a hamster is something worth celebrating.

It amazes me when I think of how damaged and neurotic we could be, under the circumstances, and aren't. We are steady. We are moving on. We haven't forgotten what has happened, but it hasn't changed us. I watch my kids being kind and affectionate toward each other, or my man (who has had, hands down, the worst happen to him this year) doing something incredibly sweet for me, and I marvel.

When I mail out this mansucript I'm working on next week, I will have written nine books in 2004. I know most people think I write novels in my sleep, but believe it or not, I do go through the same things every other novelist does with each and every book. Well, I don't do that thing where they hate what they write and beat themselves up over it, but you know what I mean.

The main reason I was able to do this is my family. They let me go when I needed to write. They found AAA batteries for my PDA when the power was out during the hurricanes. They went for a ride or a walk when I needed quiet to think. When deadline week arrived, they took over the cooking and cleaning and chores so I could get that particular book done.

There's really nothing in it for them but more work. My writing income does pay for my kids to go to private school, but they're too young to read most of my books. My income also takes half of the family financial burden off their father's shoulders, but the love of my life does not read, period. They have no interest in my novels; they do it for me.

This, combined with a book I've been reading, sank in yesterday morning. Not exactly an "It's a Wonderful Life" moment, but close. Like everyone, I've taken some short side trips on other paths, and I have a pretty good idea of what I might have been, and where I'd have gone, if I'd stayed on them.

Thank God I doubled back to find this road was still open.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Discovery

Blogger won't let me post.

And women who sound on the phone as if they would eat their own young? Look like they already did.

Just FYI.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Cheer

I love book store clerks, more so now that I've done the job myself and know what they have to go through to get our novels into the hands of their customers. (We won't talk about how I feel about book store managers.)

Last night while I was out finishing the very last of the shopping, I ran in BAM to see what's been released. Not surprised to see Tom Wolfe and Michael Crichton's latest stacked to the rafters but few people were bracing the stacks. Most of the shoppers were cruising the inspirational and bargain books sections. I picked up a couple of bargains myself and went to check out.

The young man at the counter was wearing the obligatory black BAM apron, but under it he had on a drop-dead gorgeous dragon shirt (and not a t-shirt, either, a real shirt with real sleeves and a collar.) It was black, with a red dragon of Chinese design curling around the sleeves and front. I admired it, he smiled and told me where he had bought it and what a bargain it had been. He invited me to touch the sleeve so I could feel the material, which was like rough silk. Beautiful, beautiful shirt. I made a writer joke, and he got it and made one of his own. Before I left he wished me a Merry Christmas, something you never hear anyone say anymore. A thoroughly delightful young man.

After I got home, a friend called and I described this brief, happy encounter. My friend said, rather rudely, "Only you could meet someone that gay and think he was cool."

Now unless I have four or five hours to think them up, I am terrible with snappy comebacks. But for once I knew what to say: "Yeah, he was the most cheerful clerk I've met since I got here."

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

32F

That's the temperature here, right now. That was also the temperature last night when my daughter and I went out caroling. (For those of you who live in subzero climates, please remember that the average temperature I've lived in for the last twenty years of my life is 80F, year-round.)

Caroling is not something I've done much of in the past, but it was always indoors, like at church. Not so here. Apparently what the displaced Northerners here do is group up, walk from house to house and sing Christmas songs for folks, half of which don't open their doors, in this freezing weather.

But my daughter desperately wanted to go, and while I'd rather be tortured than have to sing in front of people, I love my daughter. So we went, we walked, we avoided people's active sprinkler systems and loose dogs, we sang such PC songs as "Jingle Bells" and "Deck the Halls" to closed doors, and we about froze our toes off.

My daughter apologized to me as we hiked back two miles to the car. "Sorry, Mom, I thought this would be fun."

I didn't want to lie to my child, and I was too cold to talk much. On impulse, I started to sing my favorite carol, We Three Kings and she joined in. Just the two of us sang together all the way back to the car. We sang our favorite carols, the ones that aren't politically correct, like Little Town of Bethlehem and Away in a Manger. We laughed at each other when we stumbled over some words or hit the wrong note.

We earned a few odd looks from the Jingle-and-Deck people, but no one objected. I think they were too chilly to separate church and state.

During that long, cold walk back, I discovered two things: I cannot hit that high note on the soaring "peace" in Silent Night anymore, and caroling with my daughter in 32F weather is fun.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

PopSigh

One thing I look forward to each week is my postal carrier delivering my magazines. I subscribe to a bunch -- Archaeology, Smithsonian, and the Atlantic to name a few -- and I have been known to hoard them, but I'm working on that.

The mag I've always liked the most was Popular Science. It's the one place where I can read about science, see what NASA's crashed lately, and best of all, not have SF writer issues shoved in my face.

So what happens? I open this month's PopSci issue and, you guessed it, there's a damn SF writer in it screaming about, what else, issues. Not even good issues. Lousy issues. Stupid, infantile, tightfisted little twerp issues. Worse, this genius is going to be writing a monthly column. How much you want to bet it's more of the same? Come on, make me a rich woman.

Anyway, I'm cancelling the subscription. I know, they quoted me once, and it was weirdly flattering but . . . no, sorry, doesn't make up for ruining my favorite mag. (sniff) At least I still have Discover.

Motivation

My editor sent me an ARC of a big-buzz biblical historic novel about to hit the shelves, and I read it last night. As I've promised not to trash other authors, I won't mention the title or name of the author, but my opinion of this gem can be distilled down into a single, strangled word:

ick

Outside of being a muddy, badly-constructed clone of The Red Tent, the novel offers not a single redeeming quality. The writing was stilted and often just plain bizarre. If there was a plot, it was printed in invisible ink; I never caught a glimpse of it. By page three I didn't care about the characters and by page twenty I actively hated them. When the lousy ending arrived, I already had my pom poms out and was doing cartwheels while cheering for it. The biggest disappointment: The protagonist survived.

My prediction on this one? The critics will absolutely love it. Readers, eh. I think readers want more than this. In a way it's reassuring and quite motivating, as I know I can do better than this. Which is what I'm off to do right now.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Ten Things Under $10

Last minute shoppers, these I can personally guarantee as excellent, under $10 bargains:

1. His Nibs Palace's Chinese Excercise Balls -- (scroll down to see item listing) these work for any size hand, and they're a great gift for your favorite writer. $7.00.

2. Platinum Pen Store's Swirl Pens & Basket -- these are gorgeous, refillable ballpoint pens that twist to open. Five barrel designs, you receive two of each plus a basket in which to keep them. $9.99.

3. Also from Platinum, The Black Ice Fountain Pen & Rollerball Set -- a gorgeous pen set, and Platinum also throws in a year's supply of FP cartridges and a rollerball refill, all for $9.99.

4. Clouds by Pekka Parviainen -- This is a beautiful book; I love my copy and it's the one people pick up most when they're in my reading room. $8.95.

5. Piano Classics CD -- A sampler of some of the best classical music ever performed on piano, by Dame Moura Lymphany. A steal at $3.98.

6. Unforgettable Classics Glorious CD -- Another mind-blowing collection of classical music, performed by various artists. $9.98.

7. Barbie Glamor Surprise Doll -- I'm not a huge fan of Barbie, but this one isn't as obnoxious as some of the other models. The AOL outlet store is selling her for $9.99.

8. Make it yourself Movie Night Bowl -- Fill an inexpensive holiday bowl (we found decorated plastic ones at Walgreens for $1.99) with a box of microwave popcorn, a liter of Pepsi and a pre-viewed DVD movie purchased from BlockBuster Video (you can get these DVDs 3 for $25 if you watch for sales.) The kids and I make these every year for hard-to-shop-for people (like their Dad, who always loves it.)

9. Phone Time -- Purchased phone cards can be found at any grocery or drug store, you can mail them in a Christmas card and everyone appreciates them. $10.00.

10. Your favorite paperback novel from 2004. If you read a great book, why not share it by buying extra copies and handing it out to family and friends? You're also helping your favorite author's sales, which I assure you is a nice gift for us. Here is the novel I'm tucking into everyone's stocking this Christmas. $6.99.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Clean Up

Probably my largest author headache has been defective books. I've been lucky in that I've only had two -- Paradise Island, the galleys of which were published minus the ending of the novel, and Blade Dancer, the hardcover edition of which has a page repeat problem.*** And not having a whole book can really ruin the experience for a reader.

It's not my responsibility to deal with the publisher's screw ups, but it's my name on the book. I care, they don't. That's why I've (quietly) been using my author copies to replace defective editions of Blade Dancer since the problem was brought to my attention.

I've now just about run out of author copies of Blade Dancer, so I'll have to think of something else.

***Edited to clarify: This is not a problem with every copy of the hardcover; most editions of Blade Dancer are just fine. Judging by reader reports, about 5-10% of the first print run books are the defective editions.

Bumped

I spent a good part of the day and night wrestling with one of the four protagonists in the current WIP. Not since Reever showed up have I had this much trouble with a character, particularly one who has been living in my head for the better part of two years.

As usual, I want to give the character the tools to make repairs, but this guy is not interested in an easy retrofit. He doesn't even want a moderately difficult one. Somewhere during the actual writing of the book he went beyond the fix-it stage.

Tonight we're somewhere entirely different, and there is a lot here that can't be repaired or ignored or glossed over or saved for the next book in the series. All that is something I didn't see happening back when we were in the plot-the-book stage. Now he's tossing it in my face.

Things like this are the bumps you hit as you drive down the novel road. They are not convenient, and they mess up the alignment of your plot threads, and I don't know about you but that makes me cranky. Yet no plan is perfect, and no writer should become complacent. Bumps won't let you.

Squilyp from Beyond Varallan was a bump, as was Danea from Blade Dancer. Both of them wrecked their respective outlines -- Squilyp actually changed a thread that affected the entire StarDoc series plan -- and both of them drove me nuts. They're also two of my favorite characters.

When I hit one of these bumps, I tend to go with the character rather than the plan. Yes, it's easier to force the character to stick to the plan so you don't have to make a lot of changes, but I think that's lazy writing. Something made you hit the bump and it might do the same to your reader. You owe it to them not to take the easy way around it.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Freebie

Through January 15th, 2005, Lulu.com will publish and ship you one copy of your NaNoWriMo novel for free. Check out the details here.

Fun

Writing is the most fun I have, and will probably ever have, outside of one other activity that is, alas, none of your business. :)

Seriously: writing should be fun. Why? Because without the enjoyment factor, being a writer is a very difficult, demanding, exacting, exhausting lonely job with lousy pay in which you have to deal with obnoxious people, regular disappointment, and frequent depression.

Still need some prodding? Blocked? Okay, here are some recent internet finds:

For you aspiring poets, Peter Howard has an online haiku/tanka generator that allows you to choose different vocabularies.

Catherine Tudor's Random Name Generator provides names for your male and female characters with a single click.

I have long been in love with Steven Savage's Seventh Sanctum, home to the most interesting generators on the net, like The What-If-inator and The Room/Location Generator. For those who want more of a challenge, there is The Writing Challenge Generator.

Tatyana Chiocchetti's GoldMind gratitude/inner activity journal is a guided journal that gives you a daily quote (not religious) and one-page writing challenge. I find it's been an excellent kick in the spiritual butt for me, especially when I've got a lot on my mind.

Now (puts hands on hips) I want you to have a wonderful time with writing today. Is that understood? Don't make me talk to you about this again.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Interesting

I've been looking for a program sophisticated enough to keep up with my ever-growing writing database of characters, plots, planets, novels, series, etc. and Mind Manager seems like it might do just that. I'll report more on this after I download the free trial and give it a whirl. (discovered via Katherine's Blog)

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Dictionary, Stat

I never defend myself against trolls, but occasionally I correct their spelling.

Sight

On the day when my son would break his arm, I woke up with this feeling I sometimes have. Nothing specific, just a sense of uh-oh, bad things about to happen. The last time was just after Hurricane Charley, when we thought we were done with storms for the year (and two, much worse storms hit us after.)

I usually don't tell people about this because it spooks them, but this time I did confide in someone about whom I was already worried, thinking it was about her. I got the call about Mike a few hours later.

Let me state up front that I'm not psychic. If I was, I think I'd have a lot more details than just vague feelings and no clue as to who/what/why/when/where. I think almost everyone gets these feelings, too, so it's nothing special.

Yesterday the opposite of the uh-oh feeling hit me around noon. I hardly ever get these, but they're the flip side, as in hold on, wonderful things about to happen. Sure enough, an hour later I received another phone call. I'm not at liberty to go into the details, but suffice to say that with that one phone call, I got exactly what I wanted for Christmas.

Now that the universal balance has been put to rights, I'd better go to work.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

PBW's Top Ten

Thanks to the insane writing schedule, I don't think I read more than fifty works of fiction this year. I can't provide a list by genre, but here's what I found notable in 2004, in no particular order:

No Graves As Yet by Anne Perry
Kiss Me While I Sleep by Linda Howard
Gods Old and Dark by Holly Lisle
Slightly Sinful by Mary Balogh
The Demon's Daughter by Emma Holly
Visions in Death by J.D. Robb
Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz
Slightly Dangerous by Mary Balogh
Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo
Raven's Shadow by Patricia Briggs


And the best book of 2004? No contest -- Midnight Rain by Holly Lisle

Mundanity

I generally ignore self-appointed censors, but I was asked to take a look at this project. I guess I was supposed to be upset by this, but I thought it was seriously funny. Several times I laughed so hard I almost had an accident. The manifesto is particularly precious. They've even got their own weblog going. I'm pretty sure it's not a parody, either, which makes it even more hilarious.

As one of the few successful and actively published science fiction writers in the world, I suppose I should also express my view. So, okay, you want to know what science fiction should be? Anything you want it to be. There, let's make that my manifesto. And I didn't even go to Clarion. How about that.

Excuse me, I have to go laugh some more now.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Lines

Another poetic moment this morning -- they're getting like cockroaches around here, aren't they?

Once there was a garden here
but time took care of it.


Sometimes you write things that come out like these lines. Like hand grenades.

Denial is the main entree
served to the starved at faith's buffet.


If you have the spine to reach for more of the same, you can keep going with them. Or you can put them back, very carefully.

he made me eat the fish I scorched
and it tasted like forever in that house


Novels are not like poetry. Novels are my faithful companions, ever ready to do wonderful tricks to entertain me. Sort of like having really great dogs (and I apologize right now to every novelist who takes offense at that.)

My postcards from Hell returned
burned.


Poetry doesn't particularly like me, and could care less whether I like it. Poetry sneaks in and hides and waits. Poetry doesn't show its face until I'm at the brink of another black pit depression. It does not cast safety lines or flotation devices.

More often than not, it pushes me over the edge.

Run forever toward that line
Where they promised us an end
And we know they lied so many times.


Poetry is a ghost cat with very real, accurate claws.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Where's George?

I went into my wallet this morning and found a dollar bill marked "Track this Bill" with a web site addy. I investigated a little further and discovered the neat currency tracking project at Where's George?

According to the site, my dollar started out in Rhode Island and has travelled 1,090 Miles in 1 Yr, 251 Days, 18 Hrs, 20 Mins at an average of 1.8 Miles per day. The bill is in fair condition, and if the original owner doesn't want it returned (you can e-mail via the site), I'm probably going to put it back into circulation this week.

Ten Things from Readers Mail

1. "What's your real name?"

I can't remember. I think it was . . . Anastasia Something.

2. "Why do you write so many books?"

No one will let me play with explosives.

3. "Why aren't there any pictures of you anywhere?"

There are. Check out the next Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. I'm the one frolicking playfully in the surf.

4. "Are you and Holly Lisle the same person?"

No, we're two different people. Except when the quantum writer field converges, and then . . . never mind.

5. "Why don't you have booksignings?"

My chains don't stretch that far.

6. "Don't you think writing in so many genres is risky?"

Yes, which is why all my keyboards are reinforced with Kevlar.

7. "Who do you think you are?"

I don't think about myself that much.

8. "Why don't you read reviews of your books?"

The same reason I don't stick needles in my eyes.

9. "Where do you get your ideas?"

From the future; I'm psychic. I only pretend it's fiction so you don't freak out. You should go home and shut off that coffeemaker you left on, btw.

10. "When do you plan to retire?"

When I make twenty million dollars or George Clooney pops the question, whichever comes first.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

C-minus 19 Days

Have you failed to register that Christmas is less than three weeks away? Me, too; this is why I do my shopping in August. Only I couldn't this year because we were being pounded by hurricanes.

This year I've resorted to lots of online shopping and gift card giving. The best presents I give, everyone agrees, are gift certificates. They're also a fine way to say "I love you but you really need to get out of the house."

Seriously, gift certificates are cool. I recommend the ones they sell for grocery stores -- remember, everyone has to eat -- and folks on a fixed income especially appreciate it. When I offered to get her whatever she wanted this year, my own mother asked for a Publix gift card (which is what I got her and Dad last year.)

Online, I try to shop at unique sites. For Anglophiles and A&E's Mystery! series lovers, there is an online version of the Acorn catalog. Shopping hint: If you put in the source code for the Fall 2004 print catalog you'll get a free Rumpole DVD with your order.

The Smithsonian Store has something for just about everyone on your list, and it's all gorgeous stuff. I can attest to the speed and superiority of their packaging and delivering. Shopping hint: Smithsonian members get 10% off everything.

Like many authors, I am addicted to shopping at His Nibs, my personal online source for unique fountain pens and writing instruments. Norman always has something fun or totally unexpected to offer on the site, with a wide range of prices to suit every budget. His customer service is fast and flawless, too. Shopping hint: visit the Palace for special deals.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Arkady, Where are You?

On Tuesday this week I took my son to the bone doc for his last follow-up appointment. The broken arm had healed beautifully, according to the new x-rays, and the doc removed the last of the restrictions and told my son to "go be a kid."

On Thursday Mike was being a kid and playing battle ball (like dodge ball, only rougher) at school, took a spill, and landed wrong. Brand-new, clean fracture of the fifth metatarsal in his left foot.

There's nothing to blame. No bone disease. No health threat or danger at the school -- although I intend to investigate further there, to be sure -- and no bully regularly beating up my kid. As the doc told me, it's just coincidence, or bad luck. Considering the year we've had, par for the course.

I sat thinking last night that 2004 now resembles the the plot of a Martin Cruz Smith novel. Awful and quite unbelievable things regularly have happened; interesting people stood around being mildly, intellectually surprised; no one yet has offered me a decent explanation. I need Arkady Renko to quit moping over Irina so he can explain this year to me and maybe beat someone responsible to a pulp before he saves the tattered remnants of Communism again.

Fiction not being reality, I simply need this wretched year to be over. No, actually, I want it dead, but I'll settle for over.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Earlier

To squeeze fourteen more hours of writing into the schedule, I'm getting up an hour earlier each day for the next two weeks and starting the day at 4:30 am. Not a terrible hardship, as I hate to sleep anyway. It also gives me two full hours of blissful silence before I have to shift into mom mode and wake the kiddies.

The sun doesn't rise here until 7 am or thereabouts, so I have an extra hour of porch time for hand writing and reading, and the moon and stars to enjoy. It's pleasant to walk around the yard and look down at the valley without slapping on the sunglasses first. My sensitivity to sunlight has increased to the point of where I literally cannot step foot outside during the day without my sunglasses (unless I want a vicious migraine, of course.)

When I got up this morning, I thought of Stephen King's novel Thinner, and wondered what sort of curse a ticked-off gypsy might drop on my head. Earlier wouldn't work. Later, where I'd sleep more and more until I never woke up, would be, or Lazier, where I'd sit around and gradually become incapable of doing anything but sitting around. You think about stuff like this at 4:30 am, then you call the attorney and make sure your living will doesn't need any updating. You're positive it still says 'Pull the plug on me, babe,' right?

But not to worry. My trusted manservant Alfred will take care of everything, including the unpublished manuscript funeral pyre and ceremoniously scattering my ashes all over my mother's livingroom rug...

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Done

Corrected galleys faxed off to production today; another deadline buys the farm and I'm a week early, too. Helped that the proofs were in near-pristine condition. I'm waiting on two more galleys, which will probably arrive as soon as I reach goal this month.

My daughter fell madly in love with Kate DiCamillo's wonderful novel Because of Winn-Dixie. We made a shadow box with a scene from the book to serve as a visual aid for her report at school in November, and she's still talking about the book. If you want to grab the nine-year-old girl's market, I'd recommend adding a homeless dog to your cast of characters.

At the moment I'm buried in the essentials of Norwegian grammar. Note to self: do not immigrate to Norway until you can master som/at/hvem/det. One interesting linguistic difference: English has only to think while Norwegians have three or more verbs to express the same word with subtle differences in meaning and response approach . . . but som det er en annen sak.

Another Vanity Scam

"Meet the Author was founded on the premise that the best person to publicise a book is its author." -- Meettheauthor.com

Pretty good way to make four hundred pounds while watching a dumbass author monkey for a camera, too.

NaNoWriMo

November was an extremely productive month for me. On the novel writing front, I finished writing one book, wrote most of another one, both sold to major publishers. I started writing two other novels currently under contract as well. Final collective wordcount for the month was 184,675.

Short stories: I wrote three stories on the PDA while waiting in doctors' offices and at school for the kids. These are for fun, to keep my hand in, so I don't count them, but that was another 20,916. One I'm thinking about polishing and sending out when (cough) I find the spare time.

I also wrote and submitted five short devotionals for the 2006 inspirational anthology -- an invitational with a very tight deadline -- and turned those in last week. They're presently under editorial review, but I feel pretty confident about them. Total for these was 1,326, but I didn't count those because they're not officially sold yet either.

I have no idea how much I wrote for the PR release, web site related stuff, correspondence or the weblog. Whatever the wordcount equivalent for a ton is, maybe.

This month's goal is a bit easier; I only have 75K to write and I can take the rest of the year off. I hope to be done with that sometime between 12/10 - 12/15.

Trash

This story perfectly illustrates why I say bestselling authors should burn everything they don't want published. Not even the damn trash is safe.

Speaking of garbage, the final word on this is something like we'll change the sky to the right color (green) but you're stuck with the rest of it.

Many things run through your head when you get stuck with the rest of it. Like buying back your contract and telling the parties involved a creative, non-literary use for the rest of it (the agent stopped me in time.) Or taking a large chunk of the savings account and offering readers a bounty on the rest of it which they tear off your novel and send to you, hopefully in pieces, and which you then collect in a large pile, douse with gasoline and burn while dancing around the rest of it, preferably on national television during a SuperBowl Game while Eminem sings the National Anthem.

Okay, a bit of a personal fantasy involved there, but you get the picture.

What do you really do, when there is nothing left to do? You move on, that's what. You keep your chin up and you keep smiling. It's a nice version of spitting in their eye and it won't get you sued.

Of course, no one can stop me from doing as I want with the jackets on my author copies. I'll have nine months to dream up something really special, too.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Iron Council Man

China Mieville talks about being China Mieville. He's nice, isn't he? I'd kneecap the first jerk who yanked on my earrings.

I'm also tempted to do another China parody, but probably not a good idea to push my luck twice.

China's latest novel, Iron Council, is now available pretty much all over the planet.

Market

"Religious books now represent 11 percent of trade sales, or $1.9 billion out of a $13.7 billion market, according to Book Industry Trends, an annual report."*

I think the "Religious" genre label is amusing. Like the rest of the genres are written for/by/about heathens, right? Spiritual or inspirational would be more appropriate, not to mention more accurate.

Deliver Us From Evil by Dr. Tom Dooley (1927-1961)was one of the first non-fiction "religious books" I read as a kid (This is not a book you should let an eight-year-old read, btw.) My mother has always believed that Dr. Dooley, who had died the same year I was born, should be made a saint, and still prays to him. Likewise StarDoc was influenced by my early exposure to Tom Dooley's experiences as a jungle doctor.

People accuse Tom Dooley of starting the Vietnam War, influencing Kennedy to initiate the Peace Corp and, that dreaded of all things, being a gay man. The latter is also the reason he will never be made a saint. Yet ultimately all I see Tom guilty of was devoting his brief life to giving medical treatment to those who badly needed it. That qualifies him as a saint for me.

*from this NY Times article, registration may be required to view

Monday, November 29, 2004

Denial

An author interview I'd like to see:

Q: So, you're now writing romance?

A: No. I write fantasy. I don't write or read romance. (sneers on last word)

Q: But you sold this book to the largest romance publisher in the world.

A: Yes, but the (insert imprint) is strictly fantasy. No romance. It is not a romance.

Q: But it's being marketed as romance, and shelved in romance, and the spine says romance.

A: That's merely marketing ploys. (sniffs) My novel is not a romance, it's a fantasy.

Q: But your plot follows the relationship arc between a male and female character.

A: That's just part of the plot. (makes dismissive gesture) Not the whole plot. Not even half of the plot.

Q: Characters who fall in love. And live happily ever after. How about that part?

A: (face reddens)Didn't you read my book? I have magic! I have unnatural creatures! I have authentic Celtic spells! It's a fantasy!

Q: You really have a problem with romance, don't you?

A: (glaring)I told you, I don't read romance. Or write it.

Q: So, okay. Um, did you read the review Romantic Times wrote about your book?

A: (leaves the room.)

Monday Ten

Ten Things Said About Authors and What They Really Mean

1. I have never read any of the author's books.

The author writes better than I do.

2. I recommend this author to any fan of science fiction and fantasy.

The author and I are buds, as well as members of (fill in writer organization.)

3. The author creates great literature for the ages to come.

The author will put you to sleep faster than a sledgehammer to the back of the skull.

4. I can't remember the last time I saw a book by this author.

The author sells better than I do.

5. The author lays a strong foundation for a sequel.

Oops, the author forgot to end the book.

6. The author writes an evocative mood piece.

The author was plastered when she wrote this.

7. Author John Doe is the greatest (fill in country) novelist alive.

Author John Doe is pretty close to dropping dead.

8. The author hasn't lost his touch.

Oh, look, the author's meds finally kicked in.

9. The author writes as if in a delirious dream.

The author was plastered when he wrote this.

10. I envy this author.

I hate this author.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Fuel

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Love them anyway.
The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

-- from a sign on the wall of Shisu Bhavan, a Calcutta children's home supported by the efforts of Mother Teresa

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Rejects

Editor Stanley Schmidt posted an old editorial he wrote about accepting and rejecting serial novels for Analog magazine.

I found this interesting, but it would have been more help to me back in 2002. Back then, my publisher put the StarDoc series on hold and instead had me write SF standalones for hardcover. My editor at that time suggested I submit StarDoc book six to Mr. Schmidt for serialization in his magazine.

I queried Analog and received a form letter approving a synopsis submission. I submitted the synopsis, and received a form letter rejection (I stress the form letters because a lot of aspiring writers think published authors don't get them. We do.)

This past spring I sold StarDoc book six, Rebel Ice, plus book seven, ClanSon to a different editor at Roc. This was nice as I signed for a lot more money than Analog would have paid me.

Another example: Gordon Van Gelder has rejected every short story I've submitted to F&SF (just FYI, he did brief but personal rejections as opposed to the form letter.) I later developed two of those stories into the Darkyn novels, three of which I also sold this past spring to Signet Eclipse. Also made a great deal more $$$ with the book sales than the short stories would have brought in.

Moral of the stories: A rejection doesn't mean your work can't sell. It only means it won't sell to that particular editor. Sometimes, they may even be doing you a favor.

D-Day 2029

Author and NBA passover Philip Roth predicts that in 25 years no one will be reading novels in this PBS interview.

Literary writers love to intone this kind of apocalyptic stuff, and it always tickles me. I can just hear Oscar Wilde snickering from his grave. Really should be done more toward the end of a millenium, though, not three years into the new. I mean, if you want to get that authentic, end-of-an-era lamentation tone just right. And timing is everything, otherwise you might confuse the lemmings critics. Always best get at the literati when they're building their latest postmodern wickerman, not hiding in the cinders.

Anyway, I think my job is safe. Sorry, Phil. (interview link via Golden Rule Jones.)

Linx

The Language Construction Kit.

Excellent resource for anyone inventing a language from scratch.

The Fantasy Name Generator, The Village Generator, and The NPC Generator.

Generate up to 50 fantasy names at once, build them a village, and create a motley crew to pester them, all at one site. Note, all of the above are provided for personal use only so respect the copyright.

Cyberbuddy will read just about everything on the computer to you, while the Abuse-a-tron will simply call you bad names.

I think I got these both from Holly.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Planet Zn+1 = Zn + C

Using fractals to generate planetary imagery can aid worldbuilder writers who, like me, have to create whole worlds from the core out. Ed Hynan's Fractal Planet Generator is my personal favorite, but Felix Golubov has come up with a pretty neat little program for planets and one for landscapes, too.

Other generators:

John Olsson's Fractal WorldMap Generator is another one I use frequently, and presents the image in a number of formats, including mercator and spherical.

Jim Burrows has one for Mac users here. (I can't test drive this one, don't have a Mac.)

Not enough? Try one of the many fractal programs listed over at Paul N. Lee's Fractal Software Links Page.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Gone Feasting

I give thanks for my blessings every day, but I try to make a special effort on Thanksgiving. In addition to cooking up a storm, I tell those I love how much I appreciate them being in my life.

This year the gratitude is a little different. We relocated and uprooted our kids from the only home they've ever known, survived an entire summer of brutal storms while surrounded by total strangers, and faced cancer, major surgery and broken bones. I don't think anyone could say that we were particularly blessed by these events, but we stayed together through them. We lent each other the strength to get through them.

We are a family, so we coped with everything as a family should: together.

My daughter made a "tree of thanks" at school. It's covered with autumn leaf-shaped cutouts, on which she wrote what she is grateful for, and says exactly how I feel, far better than I can:

Fun toys
My teacher
A bike to ride
A house to live in
Food to eat
Good Friends
My family
God

Happy Thanksgiving.

Wonderkids

One of my ongoing side projects involves modern and historic child prodigies, and how we're wired differently from the rest of the species. As I was part of one of the first experimental CP programs in the state of Florida, and my daughter now has to cope with virtually the same problems, I'm hoping the study will provide some answers.

Chess and math prodigies always attract most of the media's attention, but they're not the only type of prodigy out there. Abstract painter Marla Olmstead has made over $100K from her paintings, shown at Anthony Brunelli's gallery in Binghampton, NY. Marla is four years old.

Advanced thought processing also plays an important part in the life of a child prodigy, particularly those of us with unusual memory capacities. One example of this is Arran Fernandez, who passed the GCSE and became the youngest person in the world to do so, at the grand old age of five.

Although child actors are seldom considered prodigies, it's good to remember that Macaulay Culkin's talents earned him more money in the first thirteen years of his life than two dozen actors see in a lifetime.

BVM $71

Although bidding went as high as $28K, the Virgin Mary in Grilled Chesse offered on eBay only sold for $71.00*.

The sandwich's owner claimed that she saw the image of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the toasted bread and although kicked off eBay once, was reinstated and permitted to continue the auction.

*$80.95, if you add in the shipping.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

As Expected

Things went extremely well with the site launch, and I am grateful to everyone who dropped by to have a look. We're starting some interesting discussions over on the message board, and that's also where I'm posting the dates/times I'll be in the chat rooms. Stop in anytime, we're open 24/7.

Self-promotion isn't my favorite thing, and I haven't done any for years, but it can be very educational. Certain theories I've always had about the industry were confirmed, to my intense satisfaction, and that will help me a great deal in navigating through the busy months ahead.

Monday, November 22, 2004

The New Site

Click here.

Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

StarDoc Author Lynn Viehl Launches Dark Fantasy Web Site

Orlando, FL November 22, 2004 – Multi-genre author Lynn Viehl launches Darkyn.com, the official web site for her debut dark fantasy novel series published by Signet Eclipse, an imprint of New American Library.

Darkyn.com combines the latest innovations in web site design with user-friendly navigation to showcase Viehl’s newest novel series and create a gathering place for her readers. The site was designed by Metro DMA, the prestigious firm that has created web sites for Stephen King and La Boheme on Broadway.

“Everything about the Darkyn site revolves around the two things most important to me: the books and the readers,” Viehl said in an interview about the site launch. “That’s what I wanted.” Readers will be able to connect with Viehl via the site’s chat room and discussion boards, where she plans to stop in frequently.

In addition to writing eight novels in 2004, Viehl spent months researching and developing the Darkyn.com project. “The three hurricanes that hit us this summer didn’t help much,” said Viehl. “I lost two computers and did most of my work on a battery-operated PDA.”

Viehl’s readers never wait long for her books. Since her professional debut in January 2000 with the bestselling SF novel “StarDoc,” Viehl has published twenty-five novels in five different genres. The Darkyn novels “If Angels Burn” and “Private Demon” represent only two of the seven titles Viehl will publish in 2005.

More information about Viehl and the Darkyn series can be found by visiting http://www.darkyn.com

CONTACT:
Author Lynn Viehl
LynnViehl@aol.com

Metro Digital Media Artists
Project Manager: Judy Hahn
(212) 213-6008
judy@metrodma.com

New American Library
375 Hudson Street
New York, NY 10014
(212) 366-2000

###

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Ignition

I have about ten thousand things to do in the next twenty-eight hours, so I'm outta here. I'll stop in to post a copy of the PR and the interview link here when the site goes live, but it will likely be a few days before I can journal with any frequency or coherency.

Then it's, uh, Thanksgiving? Yep, Thursday. (note to self: Add shopping to the list for tomorrow.) Seems every time I blink the calendar flips.

Nervous, a bit. I just wish I knew if this is going to work the way I think it will. The unknown and I are not on speaking terms. Determined, as always. One does not attempt to climb a cliff this size only to stop in the middle and whine, It's too hard I'm tired I want to go home. Tired, yeah. Tea, bath, bed.

Talk to you when the dust settles and the smoke clears.

Branding

In business, when you want to sell a concept, you need a word or phrase to communicate your idea to potential buyers. Often you can cook up this brand name by raiding the description of your product, as Microsoft did (microcomputer software.)

Writers do basically the same thing when they create novel and series titles. We try to hit the perfect word or words that will capture the browsing reader's attention. Personally I prefer one-word titles like StarDoc and concepts like Darkyn, but I also like hitting the poetry books and listening to music to get ideas. If Angels Burn came from a rather terrifying poem by Pushkin. My JH novel Into the Fire was originally titled Dance Into the Fire, a line from the theme song of View to a Kill.

Darkyn is a splice of two words, dark and kyn, the latter being a medieval spelling of kin. Unlike StarDoc, which hit me out of the blue while I was taking a shower, I spent an entire week scribbling on a pad and trying different combinations of words before I hit on Darkyn as the brand for the series.

Coming up with a new, memorable catch phrase for a title or series concept is simply a matter of playing with words. Keeping it simple is really the trick. Writers love to be wordy, which is why many have titles that read like bad bumper stickers. If you want your concept to jump out at people, don't load it up with a lot of artistic baggage. Make a list of single words that fit your novel's time period, setting, protagonist, theme, conflict and plot, i.e.:

Dark Ages
garden district
New Orleans
loner
reconstructive
angry
abandoned
redemption
sacrifice
savior
possession

Once you have your basic list, take each word and play word association. You don't have to keep making lists, if you're not a list person, but do try combining and recombining different words. If you're stuck for words, head over to a site like Vocabulary Helper. My personal favorite is the Visual Thesaurus, because it presents the information the way writers and other creative people tend to think.

Remember to have fun with it, too. Make a game of it with friends. Approaching it with a sense of humor will relax you and often turn up ideas you might otherwise have been too uptight to recognize.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Up Creek

The point of no return whizzed past about an hour ago, when I approved the final copy of the site launch press release. It's now queued and ready for transmission on Monday 7 am EST. (I could mess with this if I really wanted to, but it will only wreck things on the PR distributor's end, so I won't.)

Nicole, if you happen to find your way here, thank you again.

The cover flats for If Angels Burn arrived tonight and art-wise, they are gorgeous. The cover is metallic and has embossed title, byline, and flames along the front bottom edge. Brooding and spooky. Best cover I've ever had. Possibly the best I will ever have.

Matches the editor. Bless you, Laura.

I owe Rick Kleffel for putting up with me to do the site launch interview and not snickering a single time. It was probably hard not to. It was rather wonderful to meet such a gentleman. Not sure if he will stop in here either, but if he does, Rick, I'm very grateful.

Judy, Brian and Jordan, my designers (the geniuses behind all this); Lord, what can I say? There simply aren't words. You guys get a page in the book and your pick of any limb you'd like. I really don't recommend the right leg.

Throught this entire experience one person stood by me. She cheered me on, picked me up when I went whomp and kept me from doing dumb things. Wise and wonderful, patient, always there when I need. Thank you, Holly.

Book Bash

I was hunting around for some industry-related news to link to this morning, but after reading what's out there, I'm a little depressed. Lots of articles bashing the authors of The Nanny Diaries for their second book, and sneering at Lily Tuck for winning the NBA, but not much else.

I feel like giving the entire industry a time out. Where are your manners? I don't care how much you want to play your GameBoy, you go over there and apologize to Lily and those Nanny women and then march straight into your room, buster.

Anyway, some overlooked news: Kevin Boyle also won the NBA for his nonfiction book, Arc of Justice, which examines race and urban conflicts in Jazz-age Detroit. Now this one is a brilliant book which I highly recommend. There is a decent review of it here. Alas, Kevin isn't a woman and he doesn't live in Manhattan, but he is one hell of a historian. Read!

Nathaniel Philbrick, whom I have also been yelling at everyone to read, has a nice $16 trade edition of Sea of Glory out in the book stores. If you have not read In the Heart of the Sea I am simply going to come over to your house and smack you. I've just started Sea of Glory but it is promising to be as good if not better than his NBA winner.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Space

Mrs. Peel

Where I work, everyday and night. The painting is Alan Pollack's cover art for my novel Shockball.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Um

There are moments when I see something and have to hold my head to keep it from exploding. This one has to be be shared to be believed. (via Silent Bounce)

Sundry

Wal-Mart has no the same problem spelling my name. Interesting, that. [edit note: I looked at it this morning and thought it was right. Of course, a lot looks right at 5:24 am.]

I'm preparing the mailing list for the Darkyn.com launch press release, to be mailed out on 11/22. If you'd like a copy, send an e-mail to LynnViehl AT aol.com and I'll add you to the list. My interview with Rick Kleffel of the Agony Column should also go live on Monday.

Reviewers who are interested in receiving an ARC of "If Angels Burn" should e-mail me with a request. Same addy as the PR. I will forward all of these to my publisher's ARC person.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Abyssal

Furthest from the shore, embracing all beyond.

(I'm going to get poetic for a sec. Indulge me.)

Last night I wrote a letter to a friend. In the letter I described some, not all, of what was running around in my skull. You remember that dock scene from The Matrix Revolutions when the sentinels are flying like one massive squid all around the inside of the dome? Multiply it by ten or so, and that's my thought process on a slow day. In my situation severe self-editing is always mandatory; you don't want to flash-fry the few people who get you.

Hardest part of the letter was wrestling with a description of what it's like to go so far out into the realm of what could be that you won't let yourself be aware of the effort involved or (except in the vaguest sense) the reason you tried this little bright idea in the first place. You can't. Courage -- or ego -- only extends so far, adrenalin runs out, nerves grow numb. Even fear and depression eventually collapse, unless you feed them parts of yourself.

The box slowly empties, and all that's left in the bottom is faith. And faith is smart and stays in the damn box.

I have to conclude then that it's will power. If your will is tempered and fired and accustomed to your usual bullshit, then it makes the trip with you, furthest from the shore, embracing all beyond. Will power is the only thing that can keep up and keep you going.

Have I lost you? That's okay. Write it off as a poetic burp in an otherwise pragmatic life.

Freeware

I never knew how many freeware (software for free, shareware) sites there are out there. I went looking around for a data manager program someone mentioned to me and look what writer stuff I found: The Literary Machine, RQ Words, Book Format, Text Arranger, Keynote, Name Gen 2, Rough Draft, Personal Info Managers, StarStrider, VRML Beans.

Still didn't find the one I was looking for, through.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Quote Me

"I think it's time to rescue vampires from the boudoir of immortality and let them have a life. That's why I'm writing the Darkyn series." -- Lynn Viehl

Hmmmm. I should have mentioned the money.

Such a Deal

If you belong to The Romance Book Club, you'll get one of these in your monthly mailing:

Copyright Rhapsody Book Club

This is one of many ads that I never see for my books. Luckily Mom subscribes or I wouldn't have seen this one. The fact that they packaged me and Holly together was a bit of a jolt, too. Neither of us knew about it.

Except After V

Spelling rule branded into all our heads: "i" before "e" except after "c." Unless your name happens to be Sheila Viehl. Then people get confused. After twelve years of e-before-i then i-before-e, it was a relief to change my business surname to Kelly. No one screws that up.

Now, I have seven books in print under the surname Viehl. I believe I am as yet still the only Viehl in print. The cover of IAB actually reads Lynn Viehl. Yet online booksellers still can't spell it.

Oh, well. Half the people I know spell my name Shiela. I can answer to Veihl.

Monday Ten

It's the NaNoWriMo midway mark, and no doubt some of you are feeling it. I get that way on the second-to-last day before deadline, the next of which will be on December 1st. The best way to handle it is to write through it.

Still need a carrot? Okay, here are

Ten Things You Can Do After You're Published

1. Track down your nasty ninth grade English teacher and give her a copy of your novel, signed with the words, "Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah."

Do this early in your career. The truly nasty ones tend to drop dead as soon as they retire.

2. Scare the shit out of bookstore clerks.

Ask them if they like the picture of you on the back of the book. Be sure to wear the same outfit you're wearing in the jacket photo. To really mess with their heads, do this, then deny you're you.

3. Piss off everyone in your crit group who said you write nothing garbage.

Don't waste signed copies on them. A sweet smile and a simple "Guess you were wrong" does way more damage.

4. Use reviewers who trash your book as inspiration for certain characters.

The only thing more satisfying than revenge is turning a pseudo-intellectual critic into a blonde bimbo stripper who dresses like Slut Barbie and whose blood oxygen supply goes mainly to support her tits.

5. Issue press releases.

This is just too cool for words. All you need is Jimmy Olsen bobbing around your desk saying, "Want cream and sugar in that, Clark?"

6. Put the word "author" on your business cards.

Looks so official. Open the new box in private; you'll giggle a few times.

7. Have people ask you for your autograph.

Don't write "Buy More Copies" above your sig, though. Kind of tacky.

8. Meet your favorite author in the flesh.

When you do this the first time, do not carry a Coke in your hand. You will spill it on him/her.

9. Start a brag shelf and fill it with your own books.

Only thing better than a brag shelf? Two brag shelves.

10. Become a multi-millionaire bestselling author, invite all your publishers over to the house for a barbecue, handcuff them to the picnic table and make them watch as you burn all your unpublished work.

This is why success is the best revenge.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Art Cop

Edited at 3:20 pm to clarify

I said I wouldn't play Publishing Cop anymore, and I won't.* Today I'm going to be Art Cop, because I'm tired of reading about writers who think killing themselves is the answer to depression and/or failure.

A lot of people see artists as super-educated, sensitive souls who endure exquisite torture for the good of a squabbling, ungrateful proletariat which should pay attention but doesn't. This literati view is universally accepted and considered quite noble, enlightening, and artistic.

This is also a truckload of horseshit.

If you want to create great art, I'm all for it. I love great art. If you're a tortured artist, please, by all means, stick yourself in a garret and create. Only hang on to your day job, because if you try to make a living at selling your great art, you'll probably starve (best case scenario) or end up cleaning out your sinus with a bullet (worst case.)

If you're an artistic writer who wants to make a living selling your art, then you should know, going in: Publishers are going to use your tears to make their martinis.

I know how hard it is to accept that. I was a poet long before I was a writer. I actually went through all this artistic angst back in high school, when I thought it would be wonderful to die for your art. And despite the fact that I've grown up to be a cold-blooded mercenary bitch who will write anything as long as you give me a nice big check, I won't seek publication for the bulk of the poetry that I write. That's because writing novels is my job. Writing poetry is my art.

Just check all the trunks in the attic after I'm dead, okay?

*This applies to more than just the publishing industry.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

I love this man

A 1994 interview with military historian Shelby Foote will be aired on C-Span on Saturday, November 27 at 7:00 pm and Sunday, November 28 at 11:00 am.

Unless you're a hardcore historian or a Ken Burns junkie, you've probably never read Shelby Foote. That's a crying shame, in my opinion. Anyway, Shelby never gives a bad interview, so go, watch.

NBA Redux

One dubious book award, five unknown finalists, and everyone's pissed off because . . .

Possibility #1: The authors are all women.

Sorry, after you gave us the vote we just naturally got uppity.

#2: The authors all live in Manhattan.

Which became a literary black hole when, precisely?

#3: The authors have not sold more 2,800 copies of their books respectively.

And yet if they sold two million copies, they'd be labeled vulgar penny-dreadful writers, right? So what is the genteel range in sales numbers?

#4: The authors' books are all similar.

Maybe they hang out together. Maybe it's some NOW conspiracy to have female authors paid the same as comparably successful male authors. There could be alien mind control involved. Hey, let's call Mulder and Scully.

#5: None of the authors are Philip Roth.

I'm sure Phil will endure the humiliation of it all like the gentleman he is.

HeeHaw

I did the second e-interview last night. Hard one. The guy's questions had all the soft and fuzzy quality of oncoming highbeams. I was probably a little terse in places when I was biting the inside of my lip and mentally reciting my Be-Water mantra, but I got fairly wordy in others. Answers longer than two words, anyway.

I still can't discuss my books without feeling like a complete jackass, but this time I think I avoided sounding like one.

I was honest without trashing anyone, which was important to me. Once I thought you had to call out "The Emperor is naked!" because the truth outranks hurt feelings. It's actually better to move out of the Kingdom and go live alone in the forest, because one day someone bigger and meaner than you is going to realize what a vain idiot the Emperor is, and will march in, overrun the kingdom and slaughter everyone.

Whoa. I think I just analogized myself into Shrek's best friend.

Friday, November 12, 2004

T-Minus Ten Days

I've got a web site about to be launched, and today I saw the demo.

People have tried to talk me out of doing this. Everything has been said, from It's too expensive to It won't do anything for the books. The fact that I went and hired the best people in the web design business to create the website didn't go over in some quarters too well. Nothing said to my face, but a general feeling of How dare she do this was clearly conveyed.

You know how well I take direction and follow the rules, right? Yeah. Exactly.

I've never settled for second-rate with my books; I go straight to the top and sell to major publishers or not at all. I wanted to do it once with self-promotion, to see what would happen. And you know what? While I was working on this project, I thought about all the money involved, all the risk, all the potential flack it might generate, and decided it didn't matter. What mattered was doing it right.

It paid off.

The website goes live in ten days, and I can tell you right now: it's going to blow you away.

Riddick

Riddick, the character portrayed by actor Vin Diesel in the movie Pitch Black gets a small amount of redemption in The Chronicles of Riddick which is now available on DVD. [Warning: Spoilers on the latter follow.]

I seem to remember most of the SF critics panning TCoR, which is always a signal to me to definitely see it, as I never agree with those people. And I'm not sorry I did; Vin Diesel is one of my favorite actors and he did not disappoint. Also, the visuals from the movie are unusual and pretty awesome.

I guess what bothers me on the morning after seeing it is the redemption aspect. Riddick as an unrepentant murderer worked. Riddick being given a secret history and a Christ-like role in saving the universe simply didn't. I didn't need excuses for Riddick. I didn't need him sanitized. I accepted him as a murderer, because what he did in Pitch Black was realistic and yet balanced the ugliness and violence of his crimes without excusing them. If he truly needed some sort of redemption, I felt he found it in the first movie.

I took a deep interest in Riddick due to a character I've been wrestling with for six years, whose book I sold this spring and will likely be the third Darkyn novel, Darkness Has No Need. My character is a murderer. He is completely unrepentant. I have no plans to redeem him, as redemption does not apply to him. Neither do nearly all of the other rules by which we live. Thus seeing TCoR was good for me, not only for the enjoyment factor, but to see where I don't want to go.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Oops

Baltimore City Circuit Judge I. H. Hammerman doesn't think The Baltimore Science Fiction Society is an educational organization and as a result, doesn't merit tax exemption.

Cast Off Day

My son, who broke his arm playing basketball two days after Hurricane Jeanne hit us (yeah, it's been that kind of year) is having his cast removed today.

Prior to this, none of my children, including the grown up one, have ever suffered a fractured bone of any kind. I was weirdly proud of this, for some reason, i.e. My kids are too careful and/or too smart to break anything. I raised 'em right. Their father and I have about 175 broken bones between us, and are suffering with different forms of arthritis that have affected formerly broken bones. In my case, my right leg sings all the parts of the Ave Maria every morning as I hobble around.

The nature of my son's break isn't all that serious; if you are going to break your arm, definitely go for a distal fracture of the radius. Still, I'm anxious to see the new x-ray the doc will take, and observe his range of motion, and get started on the physical therapy. I want him back to himself, because he should be able to be a regular kid, play basketball, dress out for PE and not worry if he's going to smash his cast or get it wet.

At the same time, some part of me wants to fuss and fret and lock him up in his room for thirty years, so he doesn't break anything else. Got to get over that.

Gov Info

Government websites are often ignored, but many can provide excellent data for the writer/researcher.

111 fire fighters died in the line of duty in 2003. The youngest was 16 years old, and the oldest 81. FEMA's report for the year can be downloaded here, and while there are some homeland security screens you have to get through, it's free.

USDA Forest Service can be an important resource for anyone living in a heavily wooded or fire-prone area (like me) with good links to places like the National Interagency Fire Center in Boise, Idaho and Six Minutes for Safety.

The CDC is huge resource for anyone researching pandemics, infectious disease and global health concerns.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Calm Prevails

I've done what I can to try and fix the mess. It's now in the hands of the powers that be, and what happens from here is up to them. Outlook: not so good, but all hope has not yet been abandoned.

This is not my first publication disaster, and I kinda doubt it will be my last.

You have to let go of so much when you sell your work. You must trust the people publishing it to turn out a quality product. You can help along the way but once the book is copy-edited, it's basically out of the author's hands. Most of the time, I think the publishers do a good job.

No matter what quality of work they do, however, the reader doesn't think about them. The reader doesn't know them. The author is held solely accountable for the end product, because the author's name is the only one on the cover. When the reader wants to point a finger, it's always at the author.

True story: A colleague of mine in the romance genre once had a cover that depicted the hero of her story as an identical twin of the Pillsbury DoughBoy. Seriously. Her cover was the most hideous I've ever seen in the genre (and this includes the infamous three-armed heroine from that Christina Dodd historical.)

My colleague, a consummate professional, ordered several hundred bright yellow smiley face stickers. She then passed them out at every convention with instructions to stick them over the hero's head on the offending cover. The readers absolutely loved the idea.

I'm calm. You can weep and tear your hair out, or you can move on; I'd rather move on. But if anyone knows where I can get several thousand 3" X 5" smiley face stickers . . .

So What Do You Do?

I think I should share this experience, as well as the laughter involved, because getting terribly inappropriate cover art isn't the end of the world.

My first reaction was "It's Flipper! On my damn book!" and then about ten minutes of walking around the house and laughing helplessly. You need to do this, because it keeps you from calling the editor, which is not advisable at this moment. Trust me on this.

The next thing you do is tell your best friend and show it to her. Mine said, "Oh, god" and then prompted me to go directly to step #3, do not pass go, do not collect $200. She also reminded me that she has had two covers that are worse. This is why I love her.

Step #3: You call your agent, and have the agent handle it. That's why you pay them the 15%.

I'll probably know today if there is anything I can do about it. 95% chance is, probably not. Then my fairly serious SF adventure novel will forever be bound in a dust jacket with Flipper in drag on it, and I'll have to live with it. And you live with it, boys and girls, because that's the publishing industry.

There is no great loss without some small gain. I can stop pointing to the Down's Syndrome, Nickelodeon-slimed girl on another cover of mine, the one I refer to as "The Stupidest-Looking Cover of All Time." For sheer idiocy, I think this actually surpasses it, something I had not thought possible.