I love online generators, as you all know only too well.
Like me, Manon at Serendipity is a fan of the Generator God, Steven Savage over at Seventh Sanctum, but knows a lot more about code, templates and creating generators than I even will. There are more neat generators here than I've seen anywhere outside the Generator Blog (where I found the link to Serendipity, naturally.)
Among Manon's many creations, I played with this one and got:
Ten Randomly-Generated Fantasy Novel Titles
1. Circleِ Spiritِ and Mistress: this sounds like an S&M variation on Bell, Book and Candle
2. Maiden of Glory: inspirational romance meets military SF as Chastity Harridan leads the Sisters of Sacred Love into combat against the Dredhussies of Aerotika (RITA finalist!)
3. Queen of Doom: right, the biography of my ninth grade English teacher.
4. Spirit Sword of Vevrildas: I can't even pronounce that. Zornhau, you have to write this one.
5. The Destiny of Eladon: is not to get laid, not with a name like Eladon.
6. The Curse and the Maiden: Let me guess, a week before the curse kicks in, the maiden gets a little bloated, and very testy, and
then . . .
7. Amamene's Mage: Say that six times really fast and I'll give you a cookie.
8. Rhyinope's Bane: "Twas not anyone's fault, really, that the evil mountain-dwelling trolls had punished the King for taxing their diamond mines by visiting a countenance curse upon his golden-haired infant daughter and only heir, Rhyinope, causing her to sprout a nose of such dimensions that bearers had to be employed, heralds sent out to call warning whenere the princess took a turn around the kingdom, and horses reared and screamed at a mere glimpse of it approaching. None would speak thus to her face (likely because they could not get within fifty paces of it without risking an eye) but that monstrous nose was, sadly, tragically, undeniably Rhyinope's Bane."
9. Twilight Heart of Nitzi: Some RID! Some RID! My kingdom for some RID!
10. War of Vengeance: Eh. I'm still holding out for the truly gritty epics, like War of Men With Small Penises and War of It Was Raining and We Were Kinda Bored.
And yeah, I have to stay away from Manon's toys until I get my revisions finished.
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War of Men With Small Penises Driving Really Large Vehicles - why do you think they call them 'Hummers', anyway?
ReplyDeleteHaven't I seen that lot in the shops over the past few weeks?
ReplyDelete"Spirit Sword of Vevrildas: I can't even pronounce that. Zornhau, you have to write this one."
ReplyDeleteRobes swishing, the mage paced closer.
My right hand dropped to the hilt of my longsword. I slowly sank my weight into a fighting half-crouch.
The Mage raised his sparkling blade and stepped even closer. "Ha, warrior, you cannot defeat me! For I have the Spirit Sword of Vevr-"
In a single fluid action, I drew and pivotted in, jamming the true edge of my sword against his wrists so that he could not strike me. "But you don't know how to use it, fuckwit!"
His eyes widened. "But, it's the Spir-"
I put my left hand on the back of my blade. Using the sword like a staff, I hooked his arms away and drove the point into th eunderside of his chin, pinnign his mouth shut and piercing hsi brainpan.
The mage crumpled at my feet. I glanced around, then unlaced my hose and - in accordance with a drunken vow - passed water on his bleeding corpse.
-----NEXT
Where's my cookie? I deserve it after that mouthful!
ReplyDeleteZornhau said: I glanced around, then unlaced my hose and - in accordance with a drunken vow - passed water on his bleeding corpse.
ReplyDelete*Chokes on her mouthful of cookies -- laughing*
Queen of Doom -- oh that has to be me. With eyes of black that can imprint DOOM on anything.
Birthday cake? DOOM!
Homework? DOOM!
The next door neighbor's collie? DOOM!
Cheney holding a gun? DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!!!
Hehe, I got Valdigwas's Sword. Must be a sequel to Spirit Sword of Vevrildas. That killed and pissed on mage has a brother who is even more evil and powerful.
ReplyDeleteI got Children's Sorcery. Now I'm imagining little kids sneaking out of bed in their jammies to summon demons.
ReplyDeleteI got The Summer Demon. The Winter Homeroom Mom, maybe?
ReplyDelete