Ten Things Readers Say, and What They Really Mean
1. A book store gift card would be the perfect gift for me.
I want a book store gift card. That's all. Nothing else. Got it? Or do I have to write it in Sharpie marker on your forehead again?
2. Books keep my mind occupied.
Books keep my spouse out of divorce court.
3. Excuse me, but I'm looking for Rosina Lippi's new release and it isn't on the shelf.
Grab that box cutter, pal, because you're going to be opening cartons until you find it.
4. I read because it relaxes me.
I read because if I have to sit through one more episode of RAW with you, my brain will implode.
5. Just because I read a little every day doesn't mean I'm addicted to books.
Man, I really need to score some Mary Higgins Clark. You holding?
6. My husband knows I enjoy well-written erotica.
My husband knows he's not getting a whole lot of sleep tonight.
7. Someone dog-eared all the pages in this book.
Call CSI. I want this dusted for prints.
8. There's nothing wrong with reading romance novels.
Sneer at my romance novels one more time, and I'll yank your tonsils out through your nose.
9. Why, yes, I do have quite a large book collection.
Hey, where do you think you are, the library? Step back behind the velvet rope.
10. You lost my book?
You lost my book? And you're not running for your life?
Now it's your turn -- in comments to this post, tell us one of your original readerisms (as above, what you say, and what you really mean) by midnight EST on Friday, May 18, 2007. To keep it fair for everyone, please post only one time, and only enter one readerism.
I'll pick the entry that I think is the funniest, and send the winner a signed copy of any book I've written that is still in print (your choice) along with a surprise. This contest is open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.