Saturday, May 19, 2007

New Comments Policy

I'm running behind again (huge surprise, that) so I'll wrap up the Friday 20 and post the winner of the Readerisms contest a little later on today.

I appreciate everyone sharing their opinions and ideas on what to do about the anonymous trolls showing up in comments. With your help, and a little inspiration from my late friend the tiny tree-lover, I think I've come up with a very poetic solution.

We'll go with option #1, and leave comments open and (with two exceptions) uncensored. I'm sorry, but I'm not prepared to give up what I have yet. I also want to emphasize that anonymous commenters and lurkers are welcome here. I encourage those of you who are under the age of 18 to use the anonymous option as extra identity protection. I've never installed any visitor counters or ISP loggers, so everyone can always visit and talk about the biz freely without worrying that I'm snooping around to find out who you are.

The two exceptions on comments:

1. Obvious SPAM will be deleted, as before. I don't run ads on this blog, and I won't have them dumped in my comments.

2. Any comments left by trolls (anonymous or otherwise) that I deem inappropriate (because hey, it's my blog) will be given PBW's new bonsai treatment.

Here's what one hostile comment looks like after I've run it through the bonsai machine and added some strategic punctuation:

I included the future to start one, either, by sending you into a tenuous and fearful position. If my blog, given your blog everyday would believe that you would think so. I am particularly sorry that you link. I included the bit about what I am not to be your opinion of mind. It's like a statement such as I would believe that you would believe that you would believe that you would believe that you would believe that you would think so everyday. I am not trying to prevent the future. To remove your blog everyday would be akin to stalking. We have a personal relationship and if given your opinion fearful position. It may be your opinion of my blog, given your contact information. Prevent me. Remove your safety!

Isn't that beautiful? Man, I love that generator.

Now, you ask, what is inappropriate? Most of you have been around long enough to know I don't get into fights with the disgruntled. I'm not unreasonable; I've never had a problem with comments that involve debates, disagreements, or general expressions of frustration. Neither do my regular visitors. We've really had a remarkably long run here without the trolls, so I think we're a little spoiled.

Personal attacks, tantrums, hate-mongering, trash baiting and assorted spleen-venting are not welcome here. So if that's all you have to offer, take it somewhere else, or I will bonsai your obnoxious ass.

Thanks again for your help, patience and cooperation.


  1. That is awesome! Perfect idea! I'm very glad that you're letting the uncensored comments continue, and I'm sorry that some people can't disagree without being rude.

    By the way, surfing through the archives, I found a "Things I won't do as an Evil Overlord" post. While funny, it really does offer some things you want your villain to avoid doing.

    Thanks for being awesome and helpful, even when you're just being funny.

  2. Two enthusiastic thumbs up for the Troll a la Bonsai :)

  3. *snarf*

    That'll tree 'em.

  4. Anonymous6:49 AM

    What they said. =) ((hug))

  5. Anonymous8:19 AM

    Your blue bird is gorgeous! We've watched Baltimore Orioles and Goldfinches in our yard for the first time this year. They must have a death wish, is all I can think - we do have five cats - but they're pretty observant, quick, and nest waaaaaay high. I'm sure you'll have lots of fun watching your bird family. :)

    I think the bonsai idea sounds grand, as Mr. Myagi said, "Wax on, wax off." ;)

  6. Good for you!

    The bonsai treatment... Now there's an idea. ROFL

  7. Great way to treat them, and you'll have fun with it at the same time.

    Leave them floundering around the tank and they will regret it, right down to their soles. (Sound familiar?).

  8. Shaking my head. People like that just have too much time. And bitterness. Maybe the Bonsai generator will work as a sort of therapy. Remember Frasier electric shocking Cliff evey time he started on a long winded answer? Something llike that. Bonsai Therapy-free at PBW

  9. "Take it somewhere else, or I will bonsai your obnoxious ass" is my new catch phrase. With proper attribution of course.

    I may have to add another teeshirt to the John and Marcia line.

  10. I'm going to bonsai everything from now on. That is the best link you've ever posted and you post the best links ever.

  11. Anonymous12:38 PM

    Bonsai is a clever, beautiful solution to the problem. Kudos to you for inventing it and keeping comments open.


  12. Anonymous9:45 PM

    I've got my copy of Night Lost, will start in on it soon -- and congratulations on making the List! And the other Lists, too!

    I'm catching up on your posts, and I have to reiterate that your blog is an oasis in the blogosphere.

    And troll commenters need to go back beneath the bridges from which they crawled.



  13. Anonymous10:05 PM

    Bingo! The trolls won't know what hit 'em. Well they might, if they actually bother to read your blog. Kudos to you for coming up with the perfect solution

  14. Silly blog-management question. How do you edit a comment? When I go into my dashboard, I can delete a comment, but don't see where I could edit one. (Love your bonsai idea!)


  15. LJ wrote: Silly blog-management question. How do you edit a comment? When I go into my dashboard, I can delete a comment, but don't see where I could edit one. (Love your bonsai idea!)

    Thank you, ma'am. Blogger doesn't allow me to edit comments, so what I'll be doing is copying the original troll puke onto the clipboard, deleting the actual comment, and then reposting it myself after the bonsai treatment. Takes a little time, but worth the effort.

    You can see the first bonsai'd troll on PBW here.

  16. An elegant solution!

    And thanks for the Bonsai link. I suspect I will be spending WAAAAAY too much time over there...

  17. Anonymous11:40 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  18. Above SPAM comment deleted, again.

  19. Anonymous2:22 PM

    Doesn't Holly use some anti-spam software on her site? Or is that just wordpress? Won't help with trolls, tho. Also, blogger offers some permission features. Perhaps you can have people sign up to comment? A little drastic, but always an option if it gets out of hand. I'm not sure, however, if people can post anonymously if they are 'registered.'


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