Monday, February 27, 2006

Alfred's Ten

An observation for those of you expecting Madam's imminent return: considering the amount of profanity being issued from behind a certain locked door at this hour, I would not place a serious wager on it.

So that your stop here was not a complete waste of your valuable internet time, here are

Ten Items Madam Would Find Hard to Resist

1. For those of you with a street credibility deficit, or merely unadorned knuckles, do have a go at the's Bling Generator.

2. The mind boggles over the Automatic Prose and The Emily Dickinson Random Epigram Machine at

3. Correct nature's unfortunate mistakes -- or give a nemesis a poufy blonde afro and Carmen Diaz lips -- with's free virtual makeover.

4. Write your name or phrase as would an ancient Egyptian at

5. Add quite nifty dimensional special effects to your image online at's Image Embellisher.

6. also offers a random maze generator (Madam is inordinantly fond of labyrinths.)

7. offers an interesting Name Generator.

8. Language is a Virus provides the instant muse gratification of an automatic Poetry Generator.

9. Especially for Dr. Hoffman, who shares Madam's love of cooking, meal suggestions from Random Food Generator.

10. Finally, why should one work when one may generate Work Haiku?

I am in debt to Gerard at The Generator Blog for all of the above links. Now I must return to the armament area and assure that the automatic weapons are fully operational and that Madam has not again exhausted the supply of nitro. I trust your week will be equally as pleasant and productive.

Yours Faithfully,


  1. Anonymous12:19 AM

    Dear Alfred,

    If Madam is exposed to excessive profanity, even behind closed doors, does it impact upon her voice recognition writing accuracy? I have oft wondered about such things, if our natural asides, burps, giggles, telling the kids to knock it off, or the ever popular spew of naughty words appear on the screen intermingled with the delicately crafted prose? And if so, how does one remove such trifles?

  2. Anonymous12:04 PM

    My family might have a thing or two to say about that menu generator, Alfred. Here's what it wants me to make for dinner tonight:

    Braise pigs' feet with pepper. Or maybe tartar sauce. Good any time of the year.

    But thanks for thinking about me, just the same ;)

  3. Anonymous12:10 PM

    One other thing. Folks who enjoy the fiction generator but want something more akin to their own writing might like the Grazulis Cut-up Machine, an uber-cool toy I blogged on a while ago (but skip my post and head straight to Grazulis. It really is way cool).


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.