Because it's Monday, and I'm sure we all could use a laugh:
Q: How many members of RWA does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The graphic penetration of the lightbulb into the socket would violate the decency standards of inspirational romance writers, whom the historical and contemporary romance writers don't want to offend and lose their chance at a RITA. No one asks the African American writers, the e-book writers, the paranormal writers and the romantica/erotica writers because, you know, it's not like they write real romance.
Q: How many members of MWA does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One -- and you, too, can read about how the bulb was smashed and who broke it in the upcoming MWA anthology, And Then There Was Darkness. Only $26.95 at a bookstore near you! [link to podcast, Amazon.com, B&N.com, eBay auctions, Fictionwise, etc.]
Q: How many members of HWA does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They'd rather drink in the dark, thanks.
Q: How many members of SFWA does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One hundred and thirty-five. Seven on the Lightbulb Appropriate Use Sub-committee, who report to the twelve on the Digital Lightbulb Copyright Act Enforcement committee, appointed by the fifteen on the Sacred Cow Trust Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the five members of the Executive Lightbulb Finance Committee, who place it on the agenda of the eighteen-member Senior Executive Lightbulb Finance Committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the twenty-seven member Lightbulb Ethics board, who appoint another twelve-member review committee. If they recommend that the Lightbulb Appropriate Use Sub-committee proceed, a resolution is brought to the Annual Business Meeting. They appoint another eight-member review committee. If their report to supports the changing of a lightbulb, and the membership votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the lightbulb change is passed on to the Sacred Cow Trust Board, who in turn appoint a seven-member committee to find the best price in new lightbulbs. Their recommendation of which hardware is the best buy must then be reviewed by the twenty-three-member Ethics Committee to make certain that the hardware store has no connection or affiliation whatsoever to HWA or, God forbid, RWA. They report back to the Sacred Cow Trust Board who then commissions the President of SFWA to ask him to make the actual physical change, as long as he's not up for reelection. By then the President discovers that one more lightbulb has burned out, and must put forth another resolution before the membership to explore the necessity of purchasing yet another lightbulb, the specs for which have to be decided by seven members of the Lightbulb Appropriate Use Sub-committee,who report to the twelve on the Digital Lightbulb Copyright Act Enforcement committee . . .
and my personal favorite:
Q: How many publishers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three. Two to hold down the writer.
Help a fellow writer or reader get through Monday -- post a joke in comments.