Who Lives Here?

The July '09 issue of Architectural Digest has photo spreads on some amazing homes, including one Miami Beach high-rise apartment furnished in a frosty minimalist style, with almost nothing but snowy white furnishings and clear crystal accent pieces (interior designer Jennifer Post doesn't have photos of it on her web site, but it's along the same lines as the Stiles residence.

I thought the look was stunning -- like something from an alien world -- but I cringed when I read that the people who live in it have a Great Dane. Baby, you bring a dog into an all-white home, you'd better have stored up plenty of bleach and pet stain remover.

I spend a fair amount of time looking at homes, rooms, and different places we inhabit, either in real life or in magazines like AD. I've often said that I dislike writing setting so much that I'd rather have the entire story take place in a featureless void. I think that's like living in an all-white house, though, so I'm working on improving my attitude. Because I like characters so much, I gravitate toward unlikely details, or the ways people express themselves and/or leave their mark through the places they inhabit. One way to figure this out is to try doing it in reverse with the Who Lives Here? game -- look at a room, and try to guess what sort of person it belongs to.

For example, I can see a room like this and imagine the owner curled up with her cat and reading a good book. I imagine she's a woman who likes to put her feet up and relax (the ottoman), treasures her books but doesn't like to dust (glass doors on her book cases) and has a quirky sense of humor (the curtain fabric.)

I don't know how the owner of this studio/workspace keeps all those little bits organized, but it's safe to say she loves selection, color and variety. The letters spelling out ART on the wall are a very direct statement; that says to me that she's likely gotten some flack about the value of her work. All the bins and drawers remind me of a controlled pack rat who has learned the value of proper sorting and storing. And that lovely view from the window must provide as much distraction as inspiration.

When I first looked at this master bedroom I immediately thought "bachelor sports nut." But in all fairness the owner could be a man or a woman or a married couple (I know some gals like the locker room look.) I'm intrigued by the shelves of shoe boxes and racks of what looks like running suits -- who needs that many sneakers and sweats, and why? But I can tell that here is someone who has seriously nested, surrounding themselves with everything they love best, and who isn't going to apologize for it.

If you'd like to play the Who Lives Here? game, look at the following photo (and click on it if you'd like to see a bigger version) and tell me in comments who you think this room might belong to:

Techno Ten

Ten Things to Help Writers with Tech Problems

Freeware caution: always scan free downloads of anything for bugs and other threats before dumping the programs into your hard drive.

Applejack 1.5 is a "user friendly troubleshooting assistant for Mac OS X. With AppleJack you can troubleshoot a computer even if you can't load the GUI, or don't have a startup CD handy. AppleJack runs in Single User Mode and is menu-based for ease of use" (OS: Mac OS X 10.2 or higher)

Damaged DOCX2TXT will "extract the text even from damaged or corrupted Word 2007 docx files where Word 2007 itself fails to salvage text. It can also be simply used as a viewer of the text in a docx file without having Word 2007" (OS: Win 2000/XP/2003/Vista)

Glary Utilities is "the #1 free, powerful and all-in-one utility in the world market! It offers numerous powerful and easy-to-use system tools and utilities to fix, speed up, maintain and protect your PC." Features: "Optimize, clean and boost the speed of your Windows; protect your privacy and security; block spyware, trojans, adware, etc.; fix certain application errors; simple, fast and User friendly interface." For personal/private use only (OS: Win 2000/XP/Vista)

Marie Stroughter's article, Getting Rid of Dust Bunnies Hiding in Your Computer

For everyone who drinks while they type, How to Clean a Spill on the Keyboard.

Undelete allows you to "undelete files that you have accidentally deleted from your drives" (OS: Win 2000/XP/Vista/7/9x/ME/NT4)

Also from Roadkil.net, Unstoppable Copier "recovers files from disks with physical damage. Allows you to copy files from disks with problems such as bad sectors, scratches or that just give errors when reading data. The program will attempt to recover every readable piece of a file and put the pieces together. Using this method most types of files can be made useable even if some parts were not recoverable in the end" (OS: Win 9x/ME/NT/2K/XP/2K3)

WhoCrashed is "a comprehensible crash dump analysis tool. Whenever a computer running Windows suddenly reboots without displaying any notice or blue screen of death, the first thing that is often thought about is a hardware failure. In reality, most crashes are caused by malfunctioning device drivers and kernel modules. In case of a kernel error, most computers running Windows do not show a blue screen unless they are configured to do so. Instead these systems suddenly reboot without any notice. WhoCrashed allows you to find out which drivers have been responsbile for crashing your computer (in most cases) without requiring any debugging skills. The home edition of WhoCrashed does local crash dump analysis and is licensed for use at home only" (OS: Win 2000/XP/2003/Vista)

Microsoft has an official Windows Vista Solution Center, but I prefer checking sites like geekgirls.com that talk to me like I'm a person, not another computer.

If you're tired of all the menus and buttons and distractions built into Word 2007, Lifehacker recommends WriteSpace, an add-on utility that makes all that stuff go away with just the touch of a button to create a less cluttered writing environment (OS: Windows or OS that can run Word 2007)

Also: for those of you interested in creating a virtual, navigable 3D panarama of your 2D photos and pics, check out Photosynth.

Sometimes Telling

Yesterday I got a good impromtu lesson in storytelling when my guy took me out for brunch. To set this up, you have to understand how my love and I are when we're out in public -- 99% of the time he's friendly, outgoing and chatty, and strangers generally adore him; I think it's a combination of the voice and the personality. He's wonderfully likeable and his deep, beautiful voice is a pleasure to listen to. In contrast I'm quiet, pleasant but reserved, and I'm not as comfortable chatting up strangers (might be the squeaky voice.) As a result I usually get smiled at but mainly ignored.

Not so yesterday. Our waitress ignored my guy completely, giving him only the minimum amount of attention while lavishing me with her full focus. If the woman could have hand-fed me, I think she would have. It made me a little uneasy -- I don't like being the center of attention anywhere -- and puzzled. When our orders came, for example, she served me first, cautioned me about my plate being hot, checked to see if I wanted any special condiments, refilled my water and asked me twice if I needed anything else. She then turned, dropped my guy's plate in front of him with an audible thump, ignored his empty coffee cup, and strode off without another word.

"Uh, do you have an ex-wife I don't know about?" I asked my guy.

"No." He was confused, too. "I've never been here before now. I didn't harass her, did I?" When I shook my head, he sniffed the collar of his shirt. "I'm clean."

Through the rest of our meal the waitress checked on us frequently, although she continued to treat me like a princess and my guy like an ogre. I was almost afraid to leave him alone with her when I went to the ladies room. Then, while I was washing my hands, I looked into the mirror and realized the cause. It was my left eye, all swollen, purple and stitched up as it was. I've been wearing sunglasses in public so no one has to look at it, but once I was seated (I sat with my back to the other tables), I'd swapped them out for my regular glasses.

I knew what was wrong with my eye, of course, but the waitress didn't.

I went back to the table, sat down, and the waitress immediately hurried over to refresh my water glass. As she did, I became uncharacteristically chatty and told her how good the meal had been, and how nice it was not to have to cook after having surgery. As she stared at me, I gave her a brief synopsis of the procedure and how great the doctor had been to let me go home. Then I beamed at my guy and mentioned some of the many ways he'd been pampering me, driving me around and generally treating me like a princess.

Worked like a charm. From that point on the waitress relaxed and was (almost) as nice to my guy as she was to me. I left her a very nice tip, and once we were outside my guy said, "What was that all about?"

I chuckled. "She was mean to you because she thought you popped me one in the eye."

"What?" He was horrified, and rightly so. The man has never laid so much as a pinky on me in anger. "Why would she think that?"

"Me wearing sunglasses, sitting so no one could see my face, and me being quiet while you were all friendly and chatty," I told him. "It's a reasonable assumption."

"But how could it be, without her knowing us at all?"

And here was the crux of the matter. "Some man probably hit on her or someone she loves."

As writers, we're inundated with show-versus-tell advice. Show the reader the eye; don't tell them about it. I go along with this in part because I would rather show the reader anything than tell them about it. I'm not a fan of narrative; it puts me to sleep.

But while we're busy showing our readers the battered faces and black eyes in our stories, we also have to consider seeing it through their eyes. What we show them may invoke a memory or feeling that has nothing to do with us, our stories or the point we're trying to communicate. The reader is whisked off to a place we don't know about, and often it can be the exact opposite of the place where we wanted to take them.

I'm not a writer who puts it all up front for the reader to know first before the story gets rolling. I want to surprise the reader as the plot unfolds because I think that's more exciting. But this incident reminds me that sometimes you do have to tell a bit along with the show -- or your reader may get the wrong idea entirely.

Stranded

"Given a choice between being trapped on a desert island with a group of writers or a family of howler monkeys, I think I'd pick the monkeys. At least I could eat them." -- Anthony Bourdain, The Nasty Bits

I adore Anthony Bourdain. He's such a black-hearted thug, but Christ, can he write. He also gets to travel the world in search of wonderful food. That's why I picked him as the currently living writer I am most jealous of over at Raine's discussion on green-eyed monsters over at the Chicas blog.

But envy and admiration aside, would I want to be stranded on a deserted island with Mr. Bourdain? Sure, as long as I hunt and gather, and he cooks. This is because one of my definitions of hell would be my guy coming home one day and saying, "Honey, I met that No Reservations guy downtown, and told him how much you like his books, so he's going to drop by for dinner." If that ever happened, well, I own some very sharp carbon steel kitchen knives, and I know where my carotid and femoral arteries are.

The quotation did get me thinking about with whom I would not want to be stranded. Obviously any cannibals would have to go, as would certain radio talk show personalities (unless I could toss them to the cannibals.) But out of all the writers I've met either in person or online over the last ten years, there are only four I would immediately vote off my deserted island. I can think of many more writers with whom I'd never mind being stranded. Start that list with any name on my blog roll over there -->

How about you guys? How many writers do you think you'd have to kick off your island?

One-Eye

I am not really here; I'm actually lounging around recovering from some minor eye surgery. All went well, although I now know (at least, temporarily) what it's like to be one-eyed. Very weird. I expect tomorrow I'm going to wake up with a stupendous shiner. I was going to tell this risque joke about a one-eyed man and a parrot, but the language will kill my blog's G-rating, and then Disney will never buy the rights for a cartoon series.

I'm kidding. Seriously. I'm holding out for an HBO series.

Tami mentioned in comments yesterday that the cover model for Shadowlight looks like the same model on Gena Showalter's The Nymph King. I'm not sure; I was told that they didn't put the model's entire head on my cover because he was bald and had no eyebrows. Since my vision is at 50%, I'll let you guys tell me -- do you think it looks like the same dude?



And to complete this very lazy and discombobulated post, I've put an excerpt from the second Kyndred novel, tentatively titled Dreamveil over at the stories blog (it was that or pics of the eye, which I'm really trying not to inflict on anyone.)

Dilemma

I must be in a bad subconscious mood this week. I have seven draft posts written and ready to be edited and scheduled to post (I try to keep at least two weeks ahead of the blog, but I've fallen behind.) Tonight when I read over them to pick out something for today, I realized all seven are either too blunt, too impolitic, or too satirical for public consumption. I can tone down most of them, and I will, but one was so vicious that I have to delete it.

I've been at this gig for a while now, and the biggest casualty aside from my heart has been my patience. Ask any career writer; after the gilt wears off and we reach that nebulous territory called "established" most of us get tired of the nonsense. We learn what the deal is, and we make our peace with it (or we quit the biz.) I'd like to think that we grow that famous thick skin and accept our battle scars, but on occasion knowledge combined with experience can also arm you with certain weapons the fresh troops don't yet have. It's not exactly sporting to use an AK-47 on a youngster with a sharp stick, no matter how many times he pokes you with it.

I'd rather laugh at myself than use my powers for the dark side, which is why that one post is destined for the garbage. As funny as it is -- and I think it would have most of you guys rolling on the floor -- Pokey has enough problems.

So let's look at my current dilemma: I have to send my mom a copy of the cover art for Shadowlight, which as you all know has a naked male torso on it. My first naked male torso cover, as it happens (I was overdue, I suppose.) It's not to my taste or what I'd hoped for, but what else is new? So should I tell Mom:

1) He's not showing anything that would upset the ladies at church, unless you squint at the stuff behind the byline and title.

2) People will think he's cold and feel sorry for him.

3) It could have been something like a naked snake-man.

4) He's in great shape so he's obviously been eating his vegetables, like his Mom told him.

5) We can apply some nice T-shirt-shaped stickers that say "autographed by the author" on the ones I sign before we show them to the ladies at church.

6) He's not pink.

6a) Or an albino.

6b) Or a pink albino Robin Hood.

6c) What, you thought I was going to pass up another opportunity to whine?

7) Maybe I've been cover art cursed and we need to go see a gypsy. Or a priest. Or a gypsy priest.

8) He's obviously just come back from the beach and didn't have time to put on some clothes.

9) Right before the photo shoot his girlfriend accidentally washed his clothes in Tide, which gives him a rash.

10) He desperately needed the money from posing for the cover to pay for an operation for his poor sick Mom.

10a) I desperately need the money from this book to pay for an operation.

10b) I'll limp more than usual when I give her the books.

11) He was running a fever.

12) He has a really bad shirt phobia.

13) My cover art was accidentally switched with someone else's, which means right now some erotica author is bitching about the fully-clothed guy on her cover.

14) He's really wearing a shirt with a manly torso printed on the front of it, and it's just very tight.

15) He needed to express to the world his utter joy in the beautiful body that God gave him, and this was the most efficient way to do it.

15a) No, I don't think she'll fall for that one, either.

16) As always, we writers have little to no say and no control over cover art. We take the good, the bad, and the ugly. As cover models go, this one is young, handsome, and -- bonus -- not pink. We must be grateful for our blessings, even if they're not what we would have chosen.

17) And I'll get those T-shirt-shaped autographed stickers made up right away.

Let me know what you think in comments.

Bookplates or Signed Books?

I buzzed by Borders tonight to pick up Emma Holly's newest release, Kissing Midnight and see what else was hitting the shelves for June. I don't buy many Baen hardcovers as a general rule (they've fallen apart on me too many times) but I spotted a copy of Longeye, the sequel to Sharon Lee and Steve Miller's Duainfey, which I had already bought as a gift for a friend, and picked that up to add to the gift. I knew going in that I had to wait until the 30th for Darkness Calls, the sequel to Marjorie M. Liu's The Iron Hunt, but that I have on preorder. From there it was just casual browsing.

I caught a glimpse of a zombie version of a classic literary novel, spun around and walked the other way. I've heard a lot about it, but the cover art is beyond repulsive, and the shock value or whatever didn't work on me. I ended up in the lit/mainstream aisle, and spotted a popular author's new title, which had an autographed sticker on the cover and a nice bookmark sticking out of it. Since I don't often have the chance to get signed copies of anything, I grabbed two copies (one for me and one for LB&LI) and headed for the register. Only when I got home did I discover that the books weren't actually signed, but had a signed bookplate glued to the inside cover.

This bothered me, as I don't care for signed bookplates. I made up a batch once for an indy bookseller who requested them, but that left me feeling like I'd cheated, and I never did them again. I don't know why I don't like them, either. They're certainly a practical alternative to doing the real thing. Authors, especially popular ones, can't be expected to hold signings all over the country. Most can't travel overseas to sign books for non-U.S. readers.

To me a signed book, even if it's flat-signed, has some value, not just as a collectible but as a memento. If you attend signings, you get to meet the author in person, and that's usually an event a reader likes to remember. Even if the author is like me and doesn't do signings but instead mails out signed books, there's still a degree of personal connection there. The author held the book to sign it before sending it off.

The bookplate is signed, too, but that happened when it was probably in a stack of blanks that the author signed, one right after another, then mailed off to a bookstore where one of the staff glued it to the inside of the new stock. It just doesn't seem as personal to me.

Maybe I'm being too picky, though. What do you guys think? Are bookplates okay with you, or do you prefer to have the author sign the book itself?

Blame Jason

The Twenty Most Annoying People You Meet at a Writer's Conference

Agent Aloof -- the literary agent who sits only with his authors, who act like bodyguards. Doesn't actually talk to anyone but has his authors tell everyone who tries to approach that his client list is full and he isn't looking for any new authors to rep. Wears enough pricey-spicey cologne to choke a cat. Seems to spend the entire conference on his mobile phone having muttered arguments with an editor at Tor, an editor at Kensington, the buyer at Borders, or someone named Debby.

Booze Bunnies -- the giggly attendee who parks in the middle of the hotel bar, guzzles innumerable colorful fruit drinks with little umbrellas in them, and who remains completely sauced throughout the conference. Smells of whatever drink she spilled or threw up on herself. Upscale variation: holds court in the hotel bar, swills expensive wine or scotch while extolling their virtues, which everyone else is too uneducated to appreciate.

Book of Her Heart Betty -- the older, depressed but determined attendee who lugs around the same 900 page manuscript she's been working on for the last thirty years, which she pitches to anyone who stands near her for longer than three seconds. Leaves a solid wake of Estee Lauder Youth Dew. Will try to sneak in to editor/agent appointments and crash publisher cocktail parties, but justifies this because it is, after all, the book of her heart.

Business Card Boy -- this is the attendee whose sole purpose is to nail everyone with one of the ten thousand colorful homemade business cards he brought to the conference (because a business card is a portal to instant fame, naturally.) Is sweaty all the time and smells like it. His contact info, six e-mail accounts, web site and blog URLS along with ISBNs and titles for every novel he's written or has thought about writing are printed on the card in 2 pt font that is too blurry or smeared to read.

Button & Ribbon Rack -- the gal who adorns herself with every single conference pin, ribbon, and other proof-of-attendance bauble since writer cons were invented. Usually about six feet tall and weighs more than the average grizzly; easy to hear approaching because she clinks and tinkles when she walks. If you so much as smile at her, will corner you and tell you the backstory that goes with every single one of her buttons, ribbons and baubles. Has a terrible case of halitosis. Goes ballistic if registration runs out of the freebie buttons and pins before she can nab her share.

Character Dragsters -- the writer who insists on dressing up as one of his characters, usually from a historic time period or from the distant future when apparently vividly-colored and poorly tailored polyester is the clothing of choice. Carries reproduction weapons like cheap aluminum swords, non-functional muskets, blunted or wooden katanas, etc. Affects a phony accent; usually one he thinks sounds British but is closer to that of a Southie on a bender. Is so flatulent no one can sit near him for longer than sixty seconds. When in character drag, he will not wear his conference name tag or answer to his real name.

Comp Complainer -- the lightly- or newly-published writer who expected to get everything for free, and didn't. Sulks like a wet cat and smells a bit like one, too. Bitterly complains about the massive conspiracy to insult her or ignore her genius for the duration of the conference.

Disappointment Diva -- the attendee who despises the conference, doesn't get to do any of the things she came to do, and/or was publicly snubbed by someone, all of which happened during the first five minutes of the conference. Gives off fumes like milk curdling on a low-heat hot plate. Spends the next three to five days doing nothing but whining about what she missed or writing a letter of complaint to the con committee about it. Demands but doesn't get a full refund.

Disgruntled Demi-God -- an indy celeb author who generates long lines of admirers hoping for an autograph or a kind word, but doesn't show up for half of his scheduled events or sits and scowls through them. Smells of money, cocaine, 20 year old Scotch or hair gel.

Filker From Hell -- a self-styled musician/singer/composer who dresses like a RenFaire refugee and carries at least one or more handmade musical instruments on her person. Doesn't speak but when inspired breaks into improvisational song or strumming, blowing, piping, etc. (and every improvisational song is a slightly off-key variation of Greensleeves.) Smells a bit moldy due to the damp cache of herbs in her velvet neck pouch. Becomes hostile only when someone interrupts anything before the seventeenth chorus of her current tune. Is a fan of only two authors (Rowling, Tolkien) and refuses to read anyone else as they are completely inferior.

Freebie Bag Lady -- the woman whose only mission is to get all the really good free stuff before anyone else. Haunts the goody room; only talks to authors to ask if they have any free books to give her. Carries four large empty bags with her everywhere, takes at least three of everything, and talks only about the lousy amount of freebies this year. Permeates the air around her with the fragrance of Juicy Fruit gum and Aqua-Net. Will swipe as many hardcovers as possible from the tables during the guest speaker luncheon and refuse to give them back to the other attendees they were intended for. Complains loudly about having to pay for the books at any charity signing event. On the last day, she is in a state of perpetual dismay after learning how much it's going to cost to ship her 5000 pounds of free stuff home. Leaves about half of the freebies she takes in her hotel room for the maid to toss out.

Grudge Boy -- the co-panelist who doesn't sell as well as you do or has some other reason to hate you, who doesn't answer any questions but spends the entire session attacking your answers and ridiculing your methods. Stinks of Old Spice and hand lotion. After the panel, he will then try to come up to you to say how he doesn't want you to take his criticism of everything you say, do, or think personally. If you're a woman, he'll do this while staring at your breasts.

How-to Hawkers -- the busy entrepeneur who had three books in print ten or fifteen years ago, but now apparently makes a living only by selling how-to books, devices and other info ephemera to other writers at the conference. Has an answer to every writing problem; generally the wrong answer. Radiates the scent of hot toner or lamination. Some of them have so much stock to get rid of that they drag a rolling suitcase or beverage cart around with them everywhere.

Jack the Ass -- the misguided but earnest soul who believes that cracking tasteless jokes, horsing around and disrupting workshops and panels with his witty but pointless remarks is the most effective way to promote himself and his books. Smells of firecrackers and a urinal, for obvious reasons.

Non-Writer Ninny -- a person who is not a writer, does not plan to write, and thinks all writers are asses. Marvels at how useless the conference is or how bad the workshops are. Uses too much celebrity-branded perfume and not enough deodorant. Will attend at least 200 writer conferences every year.

On the Make Artist -- the married, often balding gentleman who does not have his spouse with him as he only attends writer conferences to troll for easy one-night stands. Smells of tooth plaque and Binaca. Will hit on anyone with a pulse; generally nails at least one lonely, dumpy wannabe who falls for his schlock.

Substitute Editor -- a pale, harassed and untidy-looking junior editor, usually from a major publishing house, who was forced to attend the conference at the last minute because the senior editor didn't feel like doing it. Has no authority to acquire anything but doesn't share this information with anyone. Has a perpetual cold or migraine, or contracts both during the first hour of the conference. Walks around in an envelope of Halls cough drops, Pepto-Bismol, and Burt's Bees chapstick. Spends a lot of time at the Tiki bar by the pool pretending to read partials while she really tries to work on her tan. Doesn't want to pay for anything (and after a word with a high-ranking member of the con committee, generally doesn't.) Will agree to read anything a writer pitches and will forget these agreements the minute she steps on the plane to go home.

Two-Legged Dragon -- Militant smoker who hangs with other tobacco addicts to whine about not being able to smoke in the hotel. Every ten minutes will try to light up somewhere, and then when caught by hotel staff will claim he thought that was a designated smoking area. Will sneak half a cig while locked in a stall in a hotel common area restroom. Is constantly chewing gum, breath mints, the ends of pencils, etc. but still stinks like a wet ashtray that grew legs. Within the first day these folks find each other, bond, and set about creating a large, permanent cloud of second-hand smoke directly outside every hotel entrance and exit.

Vengeful Viper -- a more intense version of Grudge Boy; says nothing to your face and will not sit within a hundred feet of you, but spends the entire conference ridiculing your books, badmouthing you, and glaring at you from a safe distance. Smells a little like burnt electrical wiring.

Witchy Woman -- the ageing, heavily-tattooed, much-pierced goth type who dresses only in black imitation satin or velvet, sports Mr. T-style silver jewelry with at least two visible pentagrams on every part of her body that can support chains, clamps or piercings. Has the nose ring in the center, not the side, and a jumbo tongue stud. Smokes and smells so much of pot that you can get a contact high standing next to her. Wears enough black eyeliner to polish a dozen shoes. Voluntarily informs you of the color of your aura, if there's a curse on your career, and the best crystals to use to dispel writer block demons from your work space.

Feel free to add to the list in comments.

(dedicated to Jason Pinter, whose last Genreality post inspired the idea.)

Tis the Season Ten

Ten Things to Help You Prepare for Hurricane Season

Check and stock your first aid kit. Emergency service personnel are not permitted to respond to calls during a hurricane, so you should have some first aid supplies at home, as well as a good supply of any necessary medications. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist about how much medication you need to keep on hand in the event of a storm. If you're not sure what to keep in your household first aid kit, emedicine.com has some suggestions here.

Get a Weather Radio. A battery-operated 24/7 weather radio can keep you and your family informed after the power goes out and your phone lines are cut off. These radios are available at most electronics and discount stores like Wal-Mart, Target, etc.; also online from companies like The Weather Radio Store.

Identify the "safe room" in your home. Broward County has a page here about how to determine which room is the one to use as a safe retreat during a hurricane.

Keep a hurricane tracking chart. Most major supermarket chains make them available for free; there's also one in .pdf format here that you can download from the NHC.

Know how to safely use a generator. The city of Fort Lauderdale has a page here with guidelines on how to safely operate a generator.

Know the Scale of the Storm. Hurricane intensity is currently measured from 1 to 5 on the Saffir-Simpson scale; if you don't know what that means the NHC has an in depth explanation of the scale and each category here.

Make a family disaster plan. The National Hurricane Center has a page here with plenty of helpful advice.

Protect your home. FEMA has some brief guidelines here on how to prepare your property and home for a hurricane; USA Today also has some good info here.

Stock adequate emergency supplies for your home and family. The National Hurricane Survival Initiative has an excellent page here with checklists to download.

Understand what to do after the hurricane. Once you've been through a storm, you have more challenges to face with property clean-up, avoiding post-storm hazards, how to cope while waiting for restoration of power, water and contact, etc. Gomestic.com has an article here that covers most of the basics.

Dragon Therapy

In between monster writing & editing sessions, I'm reading Kiss of Fire, the first novel in Deborah Cooke's Dragonfire series (I went and bought the first two in the series, as promised) and feeling very glad I did. As I suspected, the first novel in the series sets up the author's world-building for me in increments so I can get up to speed on a very complex paranormal/alternative/secret society. This will help me as I read on toward book three, which was the book I picked up first and then set aside.

So far I like the characters in book one. Although they fit the typical hero/heroine paranormal romance template (he's a protective alpha male with the soul of a beta, and she's every clueless gal born with a secret power she has yet to discover/manifest) I still like them. The writing is lovely, the storyline is solid and it all works. Even the well-covered destined-to-mate aspect of the plot isn't putting my hackles in raise mode. If I carry your book in my purse when I go to pick up the kids from school so I can read a couple pages while waiting in line, trust me, it works.

What I like in a read is not always what gets my personal stamp of writer approval. For example, if a guy comes into my bookshop and turns into a dragon, one of my characters would not take it in stride. My characters are probably going to freak out. There will be screaming, and running and, if possible, a shrieking 911 call. Sara, the protagonist in Cooke's first novel, does none of my character type things. She sits down hard on the floor. While dragon guy shifts back into human form and tries to enlighten her as to her role in his life as his destined baby incubator, she still doesn't freak. She thinks a little about dipping him in chocolate, but ultimately doesn't believe him and (nicely) kicks him out of the store.

It's not what I would write. The dragon guy would be in some serious trouble in one of my stories. He wouldn't get a chance to casually chat about destiny and mating; he'd probably be busy removing some sharp pointy objects sticking out of his hide. He'd likely have to grab my girl and fly off to some hidden crystal cavern where he could keep an eye on her while she works through her rage, fear, denial, etc. She'd try to kill him and/or escape, they'd tussle, things would progress from there. Love isn't a polite dance to me; as Pat Benetar advised, it's a battlefield.

I'm also wondering just how you fit a dragon in a bookstore. The logistics of it. How passing pedestrians would react to seeing through the front window this dragon guy in his scaly form. The books catching on fire when he exhales. Smoke alarms going off. The fire department arriving. That sort of thing. I'm all about the reality and the chaos.

These are very pretty dragons, too. Jewel-like scales, gorgeous eyes, in colors that have a lot of semi-precious stone references: topaz, malachite, garnet, etc. It's a trick many romance writers do to make a traditionally unattractive creature more appealing to the female reader; kind of like toy manufacturers turning big, smelly, sweaty horses into My Little Rainbow Ponies. I'm not really a fan of that either; I like the creatures to be creatures, warts and all.

So how can a writer like me enjoy a book by a writer who doesn't write like me, has a different approach to characters and makes very different story choices? While I may think about how I would have written the story I'm reading, I try not to take the judgmental approach. Every book does not have to be written according to some list of rules and procedures in my head. As a reader I want to be more like a sponge -- simply soak it all up and let it engulf me. Then, when I'm fully immersed in the other writer's story, I judge my feelings, not the other writer. Did I enjoy the entire experience (even if it wasn't what I would have done?) If yes, I'll buy more of that author. If it was fair to middling, I'll probably try the author again. If I didn't enjoy it at all I'll probably pass on the author (exception: if it's a new author I may give them some time in the biz before trying them again. I try never to judge an author by the first five novels.)

If I've not become immersed, it's always because something kept me out of the story. Less than professional writing is #1 on that list; derivative writing is #2. If you're not writing at a professional level, you won't immerse me, and I guess that's just an occupational hazard. If you've cloned something I've already read by another author, ditto.

If I've been burned too many times by other authors in that genre, I think that factors in as well. I've mentioned that I am not a fan of dragon books; for years I've avoided them like writer conferences. I think it came from a combination of first having read the best dragon books ever published and then plowing through all the subsequent dreck trying to find more gems. Eventually I just got tired of the mediocrity and quit buying them. It's been at least four or five years now since I read a dragon book, so I've had time to get over my unhappy reading experiences. Reading Deborah Cooke made me realize that; I'm not sneering every time a dragon pops up in the story.

This will be helpful in years to come for another reason -- my daughter is crazy about dragons, loves to read and write dragon stories, and even draws and sculpts dragons (here's one of the dragon figurines that she made freehand in Art class last year.) Sometimes I wonder if she gravitated toward them because of my dislike -- the classic teenage response -- but it's now become her thing. I don't have to like everything my kids like, but I like to stay involved. Kat has already worked her way through all of my dragon book keepers, now maybe I can find some new works that she'll enjoy without giving myself a migraine in the process.

July CR

One of the magazines I pick up now and then is Consumer Reports; they're independent and nonprofit and buy products anonymously, right off the shelf like we do. Then they test them and publish ratings that score them by quality, price, features and so forth. They also don't accept paid advertising or free samples from manufacturers, so they never sell their souls for the Almighty Buck. When CR endorses something, it's because it's earned it.

If you're in the market for a new or better digital camera, The July '09 issue of CR has an eight-page in depth analysis of 77 point-and-shoot and SLR (single-lens reflex) models, including pricing comparisons, features, reliability, buying tips, their recommendations for best buys, manufacturer claim verifications, common consumer mistakes to avoid and more. They've put up some samples of the information from the article on their web site here, but of course you have to buy an online subscription or pick up the print issue to get the entire enchilada.

Also among the other interesting articles in this issue is a lab test comparison of two e-book readers: Amazon's Kindle 2 and the Sony Reader PRS-700BC. CR says overall Kindle beats Sony; naturally your mileage may vary.

Cafe Temptation

"Pssst."

Wilma Ritewell looked up from the bestelling vampire romance novel she was mentally dissecting. The man in the cheesy suit didn't look like anyone important, but at Cafe Temptation, you never knew. "Yes?"

"I don't mean to bother you, but . . . ." He glanced from side to side before he leaned over the tiny table, his grin as wide as his lapels. "You're a writer, aren't you?"

Wilma glanced down at her coffee-stained AlphaSmart, the stack of soda-stained index cards, and her Platinum Koi fountain pen, which was leaking onto the beverage nap under her cold cup of mango chai. "How did you guess?"

"You're not writing." He dropped down in the chair she'd forgotten to push away from her table. "So how's it going? Are you blocked? Stuck in a sagging middle? Find out your crit partner stole your title?"

"No, no, and no." Wilma placed the paperback cover-down on the table. "Are you taking a survey or something?"

"Nah. I saw you from across the cafe and thought you looked a little depressed. I'm a sucker for a blue writer." He parked his latte on the table and sat back to inspect her. "So, you come here often to not write?"

She stiffened. "I don't think that's any of your business." She squinted at him. "Just what is it that you want?"

"Hey, take it easy. It's not like I'm a reviewer or anything." He held up both hands, palm-out. "I like writers. Really. They're some of my best clients."

Oh, God, he was some self-pubbed how-toer. "Really." She started gathering up her things. "I do have to get back to my home office--"

"Ever see any of the real stuff?"

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

He chuckled. "That's a joke. I deal in information for writers. Real, solid information. 100% pure." He patted the briefcase by his right leg. "Not that I'm saying you need any. I bet you've got, what, fifteen books in print? Twenty? Last four on the Times extended list?"

"Six in print, and two made the USA Today list." Wilma sighed. "Look, whatever it is that you're selling--"

He reared back, his expression horrified. "Lady, I am not here to sell you anything tonight. I saw you frowning at that paperback, evidently not impressed, and thought you might like to talk to someone who understands. Obviously I was mistaken." He started to stand.

"Please, don't go." Wilma felt about two inches tall. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you. I've had a tough year."

He subsided back in the chair. "That's all right; we all have. Everyone knows what terrible pressure writers are under these days. I'm surprised you didn't bite my head off before I could say hello."

"I'd never do that." She exhaled slowly before forcing a smile. "So, what sort of information do you handle?"

"The best kind." He leaned close again. "Everything I sell comes with a complete writer-satisfaction guarantee."

"That's probably not a good idea." She frowned. "Writers are very hard to satisfy."

"Don't I know it." He propped his briefcase on the table, popped the locks and raised the lid. Inside was a copy of the latest issue of Publishers Weekly and a Levenger catalogue. "That's why I make it my business to sell exactly what a writer needs and wants most."

"I can't afford the subscription to Publishers Weekly," Wilma said politely. "And Levenger's sends their catalogue to me in the mail."

"Oh, those are my personal copies. What I handle is more valuable." He took out a sealed plain brown envelope. "Like the names and addresses of all the bookstores the Times uses to compile their bestseller list. With store manager names, home addresses and marital status. It's one of my bestsellers." He chuckled at his own joke.

"If one of my novels ever makes the bestseller list," she said flatly, "it will be because my readers put it there. Not because I cheated."

"You've got principals. I like that about you." He slowly withdrew a very small envelope. "Would you have the same problem with acquiring all the passwords to your editor's and agent's e-mail accounts?"

Wilma swallowed, hard. "That would be unethical, not to mention illegal."

"Professional and personal e-mail accounts," he murmured. "Total access to everything they write . . . about you, your books, that sweet young thang they just signed to write, what, the same sort of romances you're writing? For twice what they're paying you? Or is it really triple?"

"I'm not a snoop." Wilma stood and began packing up her tote bag. "Besides, my editor keeps accidentally sending me the wrong e-mails all the time, so I already know what they're paying that other writer." Quadruple the advance they paid her, the bastards.

"Hang on, honey. I've got four words for you." He grabbed her arm and waved a CD envelope in front of her face. "Bootleg subscription to BookScan."

"No." She tried to pull free. "I can wait the eleven months for my royalty statements. I'll have my numbers then."

"But what about sweet young thang's numbers?" he persisted. "Shouldn't you know how well she's selling before you write that cover blurb your editor is demanding from you for her next book? You know, before your editor yanks your slot and gives it to her?"

"Stop it." Wilma closed her eyes tightly. "Just stop it."

"Honey, listen to me." His grip eased. "It's just information. You should have access to it. I can make that happen. Tell you what." He stroked her arm with one hand as he reached into his briefcase with the other. "I'll give you something for free. Something you've wanted for a long, long time." He slipped a Post-It into her hand. "The real name, home and work address and telephone numbers for that Publishers Weekly reviewer who hatchet-jobbed your last novel." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "And there's more where that came from."

Wilma swayed for a moment, dizzy and flushed as she clutched the slip of paper. Somehow, with a superhuman effort, she crumpled the Post-It and threw it in his face. "Go to hell."

"C'mon, baby, don't be so uptight--"

Slamming the briefcase shut on his hand and hearing him squeal with pain gave Wilma almost as much satisfaction as the Post-It. Almost. "And take your writer porn with you." She stalked out of the cafe.

Another woman sitting near Wilma's table came over with a cup of ice and a napkin. "You poor man. Here." She set aside her notebook to wrap some ice in the napkin before holding to his bruised hand. "Are you all right?"

"I will be, thanks." He glanced at the sonnet she'd been writing, smiled at her and opened his briefcase, flipping up the divider to reveal the latest issue of Poets & Writers and some NEA Grant applications. "You're a poet, aren't you?"

Job, Sub & Contest Ops

From Craigslist NY: "Brazilian Décor (www.braziliandecor.com) is a new e-commerce site dedicated to sale Brazilian Home Decoration products. We are seeking for a writer for a freelance job, someone very creative with excellent writing & editing skills. The candidates must be native English speakers. The job functions will include: Writing products descriptions; Writing articles; Templates e-mails; Create contents for Newsletters; Checking & review website contents; Etc." Apply via e-mail with 1) A cover letter with an attached resume, 2) Writing Sample(s), and 3) Hourly wage expectations. See job listing for more details.

Also from Craigslist NY: "Looking for a Ghost Writer to research and write Human Resource articles. Some knowledge of HR practice would be helpful, but not necessary in lieu of research skills. Ability to write business articles that use particular language to appeal to a target audience. A good grammarian is needed, ability to self-edit. Articles are 500 words each, $40 per article. I have a need that requires on average 6 or 7 articles per month. This can be an ongoing contract position for the right writer! Please respond with the words Ghost Writer in the Subject line. Please respond with a short note about your experience. Please also respond with two (2) samples of your writing, ideally similar length informative articles. (BE SURE TO CUT AND PASTE SAMPLES INTO BODY OF EMAIL, ATTACHMENTS WILL NOT BE OPENED.)" Telecommuting okay, see job listing for more details.

Hypersonic Tales are "currently looking for flash fiction of 1000 words or less. Please query first if your submission is any longer, so that we can reject it in a gentle manner." [Gentle? Really? I might sub to them.] Further info: "We will gladly include any links to the author's personal web page along with a short (one or two paragraphs) bio. Please do not send any previously published material. We also will be accepting cover art submissions. We pay $10. If accepted your story or comic strip will be paid $5.00. Payment for cover art will be negotiable. We require one-time use rights for a period of 12 months after initial publication. Stories accepted will appear in text and audio formats. Submission guidelines may change at the discretion of the editors." See site for more details.

Another new Twitter market, Nanoism, is accepting all genres with a soft spot for literary fiction (note: stories not to exceed 140 characters.) Payment: "We pay $1.50 for unpublished pieces and $1 for material that’s already available online. We pay a flat $5 for serials. We also include a short bio with your story, and we’ll gladly link to your personal site and/or twitter account (just fit it in the bio!)." See site for more details.

TheNovelette.com is holding a story contest: "War may be hell, but conflict is the spice of any good story. How conflicted can you be in 750 words or less?" [Oh, honey, you have no idea.] The rules: "...by submitting your story to thenovelette.com writing contest, you agree to have your work displayed on our website indefinitely, to have your work included in online and/or print collections at the discretion of the owners of thenovelette.com, and that you release thenovelette.com from any and all liability relating to your submission. Writing contest entrants must submit original work that has been written by them personally and for which they are the sole copyright owners. After vetting for appropriateness, all entries will be published at thenovelette.com. Thenovelette.com does not request exclusive rights to publish entries." Awards: "We make two awards in each contest. The first is the Reader’s Award, given to the piece that receives the highest rating from our online readers. The second is the Editor’s Award, given by our editors. Winners in each category will receive a $25 e-gift certificate to BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com." No entry fee, and the deadline for this one is June 15th.

Burgers and Birds

My guy and I like to grill out now and then. Neither of us are grillmasters, but every couple of weeks we'll throw some burgers or chops or kabobs on a small gas Char-Broil we keep in the back yard. It's nothing fancy, and it's getting pretty old now, but it still gets the job done:



Bad weather kept us from grilling out over Memorial Day weekend, so tonight I decided to cook up some burgers for a belated celebration. I went out with my guy to prep the grill, which we first move to the center of the yard because we live in a wood-frame house and I'd rather not set it on fire. As my guy rolled the grill away from the wall, something small, red-breasted and fast flew out from under it.

"Uh, honey," I said. "A bird just flew out of there."

He looked at me. "What's a bird doing . . . " He looked at the grill, which we haven't used for at least a month. "Oh, no."

"Lift the lid and check," I suggested.

And he did. Then he said a lot of words I'd rather not repeat because our daughter is probably reading this. When he was done making his observations about the intelligence of certain lower orders, I told him I'd get the camera, because no one was going to believe this without proof.



At first we couldn't figure out how she built the nest under the grill rack -- the spaces between the bars seemed to narrow for her to fit through, and it was way too heavy for her to dislodge. Then I looked at the underside, where there are a couple of bird-size holes rusted through the base of the grill. Somehow she flew under and in through this labyrinth of holes in order to build the nest.



The grill's ignition switch stopped working about two years ago; before then my guy used to light it without first lifting the lid. Fortunately now he has to lift the lid first and look as he turns on the gas and lights the heating element with a lighter, so even if I hadn't seen the mother fly out, the nest wouldn't have been toast. Lucky for her.

This time I just cannot fathom this choice. That grill is black metal, and I know it has to get extremely hot inside during the day. It reeks of gas and burnt things. During the first day of bird school, doesn't anyone point to a grill and say, "Never ever ever nest in that"?

I didn't get a good enough look at the mother to identify the bird, but from the size and color of the eggs I'm guessing another type of wren. And if all five of these hatch, I think that will make a grand total of eighteen babies born this spring (five wrens from the potted plant, four mourning doves from the nest between the bird houses, and four cardinals who just hatched in the hanging sweet potato vine -- photos of the newborns are over at the Photoblog today, btw.)

Looks like we'll be grilling indoors with the stovetop grill pan for the next month or so. I'm also expecting Animal Planet to call any day now and offer me my own show. Maybe I'll call it Ditzy Birds and Dumb Nesting Places.

Widgety

Hear that sizzling sound? That's me, in writer hell (or, the train wreck of revised deadlines that happens when your publisher moves your release date up a month early on the schedule.) I'm trying not to wimp out and put the blog on hiatus, but posting here will likely be eh until I make it through all seven levels and deal with some other things like the end of school, Father's Day and prep for LB&LI. Thanks in advance for understanding, and I'll try to get something of interest up regularly so your trip here isn't wasted.

Such as: For those of you who'd like to add polls to your site or blog but don't know how:

Online Surveys & Market Research

I made and customized this poll widget over at Vizu, after registering for a free account and going through a couple of very simple steps. Extremely easy amd totally painless. If I can do it, a toddler can.

Added: I had to wait until some votes came in before I posted this part, but Vizu also gives you a map of who responds to your poll, where they live/work, and what their answers are -- in this case, red for Hell, yes, and green for Hell, no (click to see larger version of map):

Freely Ten

Ten Things You Can Have for Nothing

Freeware caution: always scan free downloads of anything for bugs and other threats before dumping the programs into your hard drive.

Balabolka is a "is a Text-To-Speech (TTS) program. All computer voices installed on your system are available to Balabolka. The on-screen text can be saved as a WAV, MP3, OGG or WMA file. The program can read the clipboard content, view the text from DOC, RTF, PDF, FB2 and HTML files, customize font and background colour, control reading from the system tray or by the global hotkeys. Balabolka uses various versions of Microsoft Speech API (SAPI); it allows to alter a voice's parameters, including rate and pitch. The user can apply a special substitution list to improve the quality of the voice's articulation. This feature is useful when you want to change the spelling of words. The rules for the pronunciation correction use the syntax of VBScript" (OS: Win 9x/ME/NT/2K/XP/2K3)

bookTomebookTome is "a book management system which allows users to enter information about their book collection and then sort and search this information in a variety of different manners. bookTome can catalog and manage your library or personal book collection and it is suitable for collections of all sizes and types. Main features:Add and edit books manually or using web services; Sort and organise your books by author, series, reading status or tags; Search your books with free-form text searching and links; Print out book lists, book information and wish lists; Keep track of books that you want to read with the wish list" (OS: Windows XP/Vista)

Efficient Diary is "a completely free while still beautiful, easy-to-use and powerful electronic diary software package. With its unique and powerful flash full-text search technique, you can simply enter a word in the diary to quickly find the corresponding entries! The product has a strong edit function similar to that of Microsoft Word. You can insert various items such as tables, pictures, emotions, URLs or even attachments. You can set the background color, background picture of each diary entry separately so your diary can be rich and colorful" Could double as an electronic novel notebook, too. (OS: Windows 98/ME/NT4/2000/XP/2003/Vista)

FocusWriter is "a fullscreen, distraction-free writing program. You can customize your environment by changing the font, colors, and background image to add ambiance as you type. FocusWriter features an on-the-fly updating wordcount, optional auto-save, optional daily goals, and toolbars that hide away to allow you to focus more clearly; additionally, when you open the program your current work-in-progress will automatically load and position you at the end of your document, so that you can immediately jump back in" (OS: Mac OS X 10.4; Windows XP)

Forgedit is "the user friendly developers text editor . . . for developers who want an easier way to get things done. ForgEdit is surprisingly powerful and easy to use, and has all the tweakability you need.
Support for more than 25 modes, 100+ configurable keyboard shortcuts, 20+ stock scripts, and all the character encodings your Mac has to offer" (OS: Mac OS X 10.4 or 10.5; G4, G5 or Intel CPU)

Hikidoc is "a text-to-HTML conversion tool for web writers. HikiDoc allows you to write using an easy-to-read, easy-to-write plain text format, then convert it to structurally valid HTML (or XHTML)" (OS: Mac; open-source Ruby project)

MemoBlock "is a slick notepad application for Mac. You can store text notes in any font/color style you like, transfer content to iPods, export as vNote files and more. MemoBlock also has a cool alarm feature that you can set for individual notes, and notes can be divided into as many categories as you like. The latest version brings an improved find box, support for vNote (.vnt) files, and a over a dozen other changes" (OS: Mac)

PhotoNotesis "an easy way to attach labels to your favorite photos. You can mark friends and family, buildings, special places, whatever you like. It is tightly integrated with the Mac OS X Address Book, so it is easy to pick a name for a label. Labels are smart: When you have birthdays in your Address Book, PhotoNotes automatically displays the age of that person, using the camera date. Finding photos of friends is easy with PhotoNotes' extensive Spotlight support. Your albums are automatically indexed. When you search for a person from Spotlight, PhotoNotes automatically displays that person's photos and highlights him or her in the thumbnail previews. You can also export your labelled photos as an interactive HTML page" (OS: Mac OS X)

Social Poster "submits (your content) to all social and bookmarking websites including: Digg, Propeller, Reddit, Del.icio.us, Stumble Upon, Social Logs, Indianpad, Google, Technorati, Furl, Diigo, Wirefan, Bibsonomy, Blinklist, Blogmemes, Faves.com, Ask Jeeves, Simpy, Backflip, Spurl, Newsvine, Netvouz, Folkd, Blinkbits, Bmaccess, Shadows, Smarking, Sphinn, Magnolia and Yahoo. Easy access to all supported social websites; Fills all possible fields automatically; Easy copy & paste the fields that can't be filled automatically; Generates space-separated from the comma-separated tags; Generates quoted tags from the comma-separated tags" (OS: No info listed, but this looks like Windows.)

viJournal Lite, a freeware version of viJournal, is "designed as an analogue of the good old-fashioned page-a-day bound diary - the kind you buy in a stationer's. You write your entries under dated headers and save them collectively by month and year." Includes a bunch of other features as well (OS: Mac OS X 10.5 or later, but they have a special download for Mac OS X 10.4.4 or later.)

Winners

It was interesting to see the authors and titles that are being recommended out there. I've got a couple more to check out when I make my next trip to the bookstore. In the meantime, the winners of the Reading Mischief giveaway are:

Charlene, who read Vertical Run by Joseph Garber.

Nadia, who read the Harry Dresden series by Jim Butcher

BuffySquirrel, who read The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde.

Winners, please send your full name and ship-to address to LynnViehl@aol.com, and I'll get these books out to you. Thanks to everyone for joining in.

Gen Ten

Ten Things About Online Generators

ArchetypeWriting.com has a page of story starters and idea generators that can help with plot scenarios, character sketches, everyday problems and more.

Generate an extrasolar starchart over at Extrasolar Skies.

Have avatar but need a name? Get an interesting one from Outland.org's Name Generator.

Want a first name for a weird, alien or fantasy character? Try out Generatorland.com's First Name Generator.

You've got a business in your story; now name it with the Modern Company Names Generator.

Also from Generatorland.com, for you ladies writing those NASCAR romances, The NASCAR driver name generator.

The text/visual generator Plot Shot generates a random plot with random Flickr shots.

Got a mage character who needs to beef up his library? Try the Random Books Generator.

Nexi.com's Random Word Generator takes whatever text or word lists you feed it and recombines them. If you ever needed to create some names limited to a certain set of letters or vowel sounds, coin new words or just play with keywords for title ideas, this is the generator for you.

Need the name of a random but real American town or city but can't find your atlas? The USA place name generator "selects a random named location from 1990 United States Census data. Because the smallest towns have the same likelihood of being chosen as the largest cities, there's a decidedly rural flavor to the selections." It's also hooked up to MapQuest if you want to see where the town is located.

Reading Mischief

One thing you do when you discover a great book is to pass it along. Since you all were kind enough to recommend some great titles to me, I wanted to do the same by giving away one of the books from my Instant TBR. There were a bunch of great reads in that pile, but when I considered which book I most wanted to share, the one that kept shouting MeMeMe was the one by the author who earned a debut spot on my keeper shelf: The Book of Unholy Mischief by Elle Newmark.

I've already reported on what I thought of the story, but there's a bit more to it than that. The writing is gorgeous and smart without being pretentious or overly-academic. I felt immersed in Luciano's world, which hasn't been around for 500+ years, and the author breathed life into the era without constant dropping history info dumps on my head. Everything was quite frankly presented -- even the most unsavory aspects of existing in fifteenth-century Venice -- but it never pushed me out of the story. It actually brought back some wonderful memories; every time Luciano and Chef Ferrero worked together in the kitchen, I was seventeen years old again and back in my mom's kitchen, watching my dad cook (if you're looking for more concrete details, PK posted an excellent overview of the story here.)

This novel also reminded me of what it once meant to create the physical book; the sort of art that is almost disappeared altogether from Publishing. It's a lovely book to see, from the gorgeous cover art to the unique end papers. Hardcovers today are mass-produced with cheap materials; most fall apart after only a few years (and I own 160-year-old books that are holding together better than hardcovers I bought ten years ago, so I'm watching this happen in my own collection.) I'm sure this one will be no different, but it gave the illusion of being a novel made by more caring hands, and that was a delightful little fantasy.

If you'd like a chance to check out Ms. Newmark's novel for yourself, in comments to this post, name an author or book you read only because a friend recommended it (or if you have very quiet friends, just toss your name in the hat) by midnight EST on Saturday, May 23, 2009. I'll draw three names at random from everyone who participates, and send the winners an unsigned hardcover copy of The Book of Unholy Mischief by Elle Newmark. This giveaway is open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.

Typewriter Writer

I am an old writer. Back in the late sixties I started writing stories and poems on school notebook paper in pencil, then in the seventies graduated to pen and composition books and legal pads. Mom bought me a second-hand manual typewriter when I was thirteen, and I used that for eleven years until it literally fell apart. After that I bought a used IBM Selectric typewriter from a yard sale, and used that for writing until 1994, when my husband bought me my very first computer.

I've always thought that my learning to write by longhand and typewriter always put me at a disadvantage to younger, more tech-savvy writers. For most of my life I didn't have the marvels of the modern word processing program to help me write. No backups, no disc copies; just me, the pen or the typewriter, and the single hard copy. I've always felt a bit like the writer equivalent of Wilma Flintstone because of it.

I was explaining this disadvantage to one of my young writer friends the other day, in one of those "be grateful for what you've got" type conversations older writers like to have with youngsters. She was complaining about how slow her printer is, while I'm still riveted by the fact that I can print out an entire manuscript in less than an hour -- something that twenty years ago would have taken me a good two months to type.

"That's why you're able to write straight through everything, isn't it?" my friend asked me. "You trained to write on a typewriter, and you couldn't stop or go back or fix things."

I was surprised, but she was right. It's not easy to backspace and rewrite on a typewriter; with the two I owned I had to use White-Out or correction tape, or rip out the page and start over. I also couldn't review and edit anything I wrote before I printed it out -- naturally using a typewriter = printing it out instantly. Add to that the fact that back then typing paper was expensive, and my mom had a fit if I wasted even a single page of it.

I never thought about it before, but I guess subconsciously I did teach myself to wait until I was clear in my head about what I wanted to put down on the paper because of the limitations of my equipment. When I typed, I wrote straight through the page while trying to make as few errors or mistakes as possible. It's a different way of thinking and writing than what you do when you use a word processor. With a computer, you have an infinite number of chances to correct whatever you write, and you never have to print it out if you don't want to.

I think this may also explain why I'm considered to be such a fast writer. I've never thought I was, but I don't do all that backtracking, editing and rewriting most other writers do. I think if I'd learned how to write on a tool that allowed me to backtrack and edit and rewrite ad infinitum, I'd be a lot less productive. I think it's also helped me be more productive using VRS now, because I'm doing almost the exact same thing I once did on a typewriter -- composing in my head before I try to put down the words by voice.

I appreciate the many advantages the personal computer and the word processing program offer, and I don't think we should go back to using typewriters and carbon paper and White-Out. But now I do think I have a little advantage over younger writers, at least in how I trained myself to write -- on a machine that in twenty or thirty years probably won't exist anymore. Odd to think that mine is the last generation of typewriter writers.

How did you guys learn how to write, by longhand, typewriter or computer? How do you think it helped (or hindered) you as a writer? Let us know in comments.