Saturday, October 15, 2005

The Big Ten

Ten Commandments for Writers

1. I am Publishing, thou shalt not praise Vanity Presses, POD and Self-Publishing before me.

So Lee Goldberg is definitely going to heaven.

2. Thou shalt not take the name of Publishing in vain.

While I, on the other hand . . .

3. Remember to keep holy the Deadline Day.

"The dog peed on my manuscript" excuse only works once, and only if you have a dog.

4. Honor thy agent and editor.

Because they have memories like elephants, and 2000 good writers waiting to take your place.

5. Thou shalt not trash another writer.

Unless you want to write for Salon.

6. Thou shalt not jump ship.

Unless thine is sinking, and thy backlist will not keep thy head above water. Man, how did Quakers keep all the thees and thys and thous straight?

7. Thou shalt not commit plagiarism.

Because we will find out about it, dimwit (and Jaci was a lot nicer than I'd have been.)

8. Thou shalt not be jealous of another writer's success.

Hell already has enough damned souls to run its UnderWorldCons for all eternity.

9. Thou shalt not covet another writer's readership.

Write great books and get one of your own.

10. Thou shalt not covet another writer's advance.

Yeah, well, nine out of ten....


  1. Anonymous11:17 AM

    LOL, Loved the commandments. And Jennifer, you're right on. *g*

  2. While procrastinating I found your great new review on AAR--Congrats : )

  3. Anonymous8:02 AM

    "The dog peed on my manuscript" excuse only works once, and only if you have a dog.

    What about, "My cat shredded it when I walked away for 5 seconds"? Can I use that one multiple times?

  4. LOL!! Thanks for another great laugh, Sheila. Luckily, I'd already swallowed the Pepsi before I read your blog today. I learned that lesson the hard way. :)



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