The mean people I live with finally brought my laptop downstairs and hooked me up to the outside world. All is well, and I'm going to be fine. Thanks for the many kind messages and prayers. They worked.
Good news is the doc didn't amputate anything. I made him give me a local and position an overhead mirror so I could be sure. As for the diagnosis, I was on the money, and he wasn't. Now, had we not gotten our boxers into a twist just because my foot vaguely resembled an Omorr's, and done an MRI like Yours Truly suggested . . . why, yes, I am a complete pain in the ass as a patient, especially when I'm in the right.
Bad news is no bad news, for once. I'll need some phys therapy, and I'm on so much Keflex at the moment that I could spit on wounded people and heal them instantaneously, but I'm getting around fine on crutches, and I should be walking again in another week or so.
The cats will just have to start their own blog.