Groupers

The Gorgeous Gals Group Blog

A collection of witty and enlightening gems o'wisdom about the biz from three of your favorite Big Name Authors, Delilah Lotsabucks, Snookie Putz Von Swissaccount, and Muffykins Rollindough!

Monday

Today I was talking on the phone with my super good buddy Muffykins Rollindough and she so kindly offered me feedback on my latest #9 NYT bestseller The Non-Brokeback Mountain Cowboy and the Amnesiac Virgin Bride with a Twisted Ankle (Amazon.com link.) Without friends like Muffykins I surely don't know what I'd do. I admire her so much, especially now as she's a little depressed over her last book only reaching #18 on the latest Times list. Such pressure, and yet she's right there, giving me encouragement when I need it, even if she didn't quite understand my hero's motivation. I can't thank her enough for making the time to read my novel, hugs, kisses to Muffykins!!!!!!!!!! posted by Delilah Lotsabucks

Tuesday

Oh, Delilah, you're making me blush again! You're such a sweetheart for saying all those nice things about me. Where would I be without you in my life? I mean, other than a little higher up on the Times list. I think it's amazing how popular your novels are with southern American romance fans. My readers tend to be a little more intellectual, of course, so they don't run out every weekend to buy up whatever's being hyped to death, or my novel The Notorious Misunderstood Rake and the Amnesiac Virgin Debutante with a Wrenched Wrist (Amazon.com link) would have made the top ten. But I couldn't have written the book without your constant friendship and support, and my learning from your little mistakes. Kisses, hugs to Delilah!!!!!!!!!!posted by Muffykins Rollindough

Wednesday AM

I must need some new reading glasses, Muffykins sugar pumpkin, because in that last post I could almost swear you just pooh-poohed on me and my dear sweet readers! Which of course you wouldn't do, I know, as so many of them subscribe to my newsletter and buy your rather overcomplicated stories that I always recommend, even the ones I don't particularly care for, like that last one with the heroine who I swear to God wasn't even heterosexual. I know it does hurt, not making the top ten on the Times, but there's always the next book, honeybunch. Unless you've stopped going to your 12 step program, in which case you should call me, sweetie, immediately, so we can talk things out...posted by Delilah Lotsabucks

Wednesday PM

Delilah, you're such a kidder! You know your little fans don't buy my wonderful novels because you recommend them; they buy them to take a much-needed break from your stories, which are nothing but collections of repetitious, cut-n-pasted purple prose luuuuurve scenes. I will make it back into the top ten of the Times, and I certainly don't need your assistance, dear. As for my little problem, I'm doing fine, and I really don't see why it was necessary for you to mention it. Just as it isn't necessary for me to mention your DH, the man who can't go to a national convention and stay out of the bar or keep his fly zipped...posted by Muffykins Rollindough

Thursday AM

Muff, cuppycakes, if I didn't know better I'd think you were angry with me. Or maybe just a tiny bit jealous? I hate to be the reminder of bad tidings and all, honey, but I am #9 on the list, and you're not. I'm sure that more therapy will help, along with accepting the fact that MY darling husband will never find you attractive no matter how much Chanel you spray on that waddled neck of yours. So let's put this behind us and talk about Snookie's newest novel, which is coming out on Friday!!!!!!!!!posted by Delilah Lotsabucks

I don't want to talk about Snookie's novel coming out on Friday. Maybe we should instead talk about Snookie coming out herself....posted by Muffykins Rollindough

Hey. HEY. Not funny, girls!!!!!!!posted by Snookie Putz Von Swissaccount

Why, Snook, you think no one knows what you and that "secretary" of yours do on those long, private writer retreat weekends in Las Vegas, just the two of you booked into one room? As for you, Del, I'll talk to your husband the next time we get together for a night of passion at the Hilton and see if he wants a referral to a marriage crisis counselor before you put him in a 12 step program.....posted by Muffykins Rollindough

She IS my secretary, and all we do is work on the next book!!!!!!!!posted by Snookie Putz Von Swissaccount

Really? Who plays the hero?.....posted by Muffykins Rollindough

I don't know what you're talking about, M., but it's obvious to me that the booze isn't helping. Call your sponsor right now, hon, please....posted by Delilah Lotsabucks

I'm calling my publicist. And my lawyer...posted by Snookie Putz Von Swissaccount

Oh, shut up, Snook. I don't need to call anyone, D. Not like I've been plagiarizing other writers' love scenes because it's been fifteen years since I saw my feet. posted by Muffykins Rollindough

You take that back, you skanky bitch. posted by Delilah Lotsabucks

Make me, you oversized toad. posted by Muffykins Rollindough

Friday AM

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