Diamond Heart Contest
Title: For the Love of Mary Good
Category: Contemporary Romance (Pre-rated: Spicy)
Scene: John and Mary's Wedding Night
John stepped out of the honeymoon suite's bathroom, a look of relief on his handsome face. "Mary," he said gently, so as not to startle his blushing, virginal bride.
"That didn't take long," Mary said. He must have done number one instead of number two. She blushed.
"Too much punch at the reception," he admitted, as if reading her thoughts. "My darling, at long last, it's time."
"Time to . . ." Mary hardly dared breathe the words, and blushed deeply. "Consummate our love, dearest?"
"We're married, and this is our honeymoon. Finally we're free
to . . ." John took out his PDA and checked a stored memo from Mary's mother on romantically correct terms. "Do it."
"Oh, John. Are you certain?" Mary dared to glance at that place below John's belt, a place upon which she had never directly gazed while they were dating. Even through the thick tweed of his pleated trousers, she could see that his . . . thing . . . was ever
so . . . ready.
The naughty-girl thoughts made her blush again. What would her famous romance writer mother say if she knew what her innocent daughter was thinking right at this moment?
John approached her with slow, careful steps. "Do you know what I love most about you, Mary?"
She peeped up through her lashes at him. "Tell me, dearest." She could feel the blush spreading over her face. "Only be careful. Mother did give you an updated copy of her romantically correct word list, didn't she?"
"Yes, as always. I'll memorize it tomorrow." He was a true gentleman and refused to look down at the high-necked bodice of her wedding gown. "What I love most about you -- besides your kindness, gentleness, chastity, devotion to your Higher Power, membership in the Conservative Girls Who Don't Want the Vote, the charity job working a safe distance from those handicapped straight lepers with AIDs, and your lovely yet discreet feminine wardrobe hand-picked by your mother . . ." he frowned. "Did I forget anything?"
"No, that's perfect," a blushing Mary assured him. He'd forgotten her donations of used clothing to the Children of Unfortunate Heritage, but that was only twice a year, so she could let it slide.
"Right, thanks." He smiled. "What I love is that part of you I can now, you know, admire with more than my respectful glances. Your full, womanly, beautiful . . ." he looked left and right, and then lowered his voice to a mere whisper to add, "bosums."
Mary's mother, who had been hiding in the suite's walk-in closet to assure herself that her new son-in-law wasn't a sex maniac (as she had rightly suspected for the last four years), burst into the room.
"John!" she screamed. "How could you! Speaking that filthy word in front of my little girl! What kind of monster are you?"
"But, Mom," Mary whined as she blushed with embarassment. "We're married now, and it's not on the list!"
"It will be after my next chapter meeting, baby. As for you, you indecent, sex-crazed pervert" --Mary's mother lifted her arm and pointed to the door-- "Get out, and expect the annulment papers from our family attorney tomorrow."
John's masterful features drooped as he trudged out of the honeymoon suite. Mary abruptly burst into tears of shame that trickled down over her blushing cheeks. Mary's mother picked up the phone to call Romance Central HQ, grimly determined to report the violation voluntarily, as was clearly specified in the new membership packet.
"Tara? This is Mary's mother. My soon-to-be-ex son-in-law used the b-word. I'm so sorry. We chaperoned their dates for four years, but he was a good actor. Yes, he had your list. Probably a serial rapist, I agree. I understand you have to remove my website link. I can only thank God for you brave, brave women. I'll take her in right away." Mary's mother hung up the phone and jerked her weeping daughter to her feet. "All right, time to go back to the convent."
"No!" Mary shrieked, blushing with humiliation. "I hate the convent! I hate it!"
"You can't hate the convent, not when it's run by the Sisters of the Immaculate Love Scene," Mary's mother said. "They set the standards of decency for love and romance. Why, without them, his country would be overrun by the . . . " she consulted the laminated terminology card that she always carried in her pocket. "Heterosexually-challenged."
"But Mom," Mary sobbed, blushing furiously. "I love him."
"If he truly loved you, sweetheart, he'd have not treated you like a . . . " Mary's mother checked both sides of the card. "I can't say what, but it's someone who genuinely does not respect the sanctity of true romance. Now, let's go." She ripped Mary's veil from her head. "My future career as a romance writer depends on how hard you pray with the Sisters for your soul. John's is lost to you forever."
(Author's note: Hi, judges! I know this scene ends with the black moment, but after this part John actually cleans up his bad boy behavior and goes to the Romance Convent to win Mary's heart. I'd be happy to send the subsequent HEA along as soon as I can get the kissing scene in it approved by the Diamond Heart Entry Morals Committee.)
Comments by Judges:
Judge #1: What's Mary's motivation? This doesn't work for me.
Judge #2: Too many rape references.
Judge #3: Refused to judge this category
Judge #4: Refused to judge this category
Judge #5: Refused to judge this category
Judge #6: H/H were rather extreme. Liked the mother.
Judge #7: Refused to judge this category
Judge #8: Disqualified; right margin is .000813 mm shorter than guideline
Judge #9: Heroine seems over-eager. Hero too alpha!
Judge #10: Refused to judge this category