Thursday, September 15, 2005

PCW

[Intro music: Twilight Zone theme song]

Narrator's menacing, spooky voice: "There are countless parallel universes out there. In one of them exists a safe, sanitized, wholly acceptable version of PBW: Politically Correct Writer, or PCW for short. Let's drop in on PCW's weblog and see how she's doing today. . ." ]

Hi everyone, Happy Thursday! Gee, one more day and it's TGIF, and you know what that means? Of course you do -- the weekend is here!!! Par-TEH!!! :) :) :)

A fan sent me the most INTERESTING e-mail about my latest new release, DIARY OF A RUNAWAY COWBOY'S BRIDE (Amazon.com link, B&N.com link) Let me share a couple of snippets:

You write such incredibly . . . books, and this one is the . . . best you can do? I can't believe . . . you're driving me crazy . . .Sincerely, D. Pinhead

I sure do love to drive my readers CRAZY!!! I'm sure you'll like the next one just as much, too!!! Look for DIARY OF A RUNAWAY PREGNANT COWBOY'S EX at your local bookstore in October (Amazon.com link, B&N.com link). Thanks OODLES for sharing your personal views with me!!!

Oh, before I forget, here are some photos of me with NORA ROBERTS at the last conference!!! [fuzzy pic][headless people pic][fuzzy headless people pic] You can tell it's Nora by the hair in the first one, right? Well let me assure you that IT WAS INDEED LA NORA, standing right there next to me in the line for STARBUCKS. We drink our coffee the exact same way, is that not like the COOLEST THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD??? Now ALL I need is a photo of me with FIRST LADY MRS. BUSH and I will just DIE HAPPY!!!!!!

I do have to get sad for a moment: my dear friend and colleague DEEDEE DIMWIT wasn't able to find one of those el cheapo doctors in Mexico to perform the life-saving CHIN TUCK operation she so badly needs. Well, we've found an LA doctor willing to do it, but American doctors cost so much $$$$!!!! To help out, my other dear friends and I have started a DIMWIT'S CHIN fund (Paypal link.) If you have a few hundred dollars to spare, please donate RIGHT AWAY -- RT is just around the corner, and DeeDee will need time to heal from this super expensive but utterly necessary surgery!!!!

One final note for my writer friends out there before I go back to work on my next book, DIARY OF A RUNAWAY COWBOY'S BABY'S MOMMY (Website link, weblog link, cover art link). I know some of you have links to A CERTAIN WRITER'S weblog, and I wanted to pass along some advice my WONDERFUL AGENT gave me: Never link to anyone who you would not sit next to at the RWA National Conference RITA awards. Is that not the SMARTEST advice you've ever heard????

HUGS!!!!!! KISSESS!!!! BUY MY NEW BOOK (AMAZON.COM LINK, B&N.COM LINK)
XOXOXOXOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TTFN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PCW

(Note from our universe: this post is all Selah's fault.)

30 comments:

  1. "(Note from our universe: this post is all Selah's fault.)"

    I was wondering if I was reading the wrong blog.

    ReplyDelete
  2. . . .

    That was...scary. And is it just me, or is political corectness always anything but? Unnecessary politeness to make the people using it feel better, but insulting to those they are making use of it for.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HotMale9945:44 AM

    lol, luv yr blog, link me, kthxbye

    ReplyDelete
  4. Was it wrong that I found this post hilarious?

    BTW, your ship sailed a long time ago too *g*

    ReplyDelete
  5. ROFL. That's all I'm gonna say.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey a hot male reads your blog! Awesome! I bet he doesn't worry about being pc and just lets it all hang out.

    Thanks for a great post.

    M

    ReplyDelete
  7. I thought my poor brain was going to explode. *-* Thanks - I needed a laugh this morning.

    ReplyDelete
  8. And if I have to blog like that for an agent or editor to consider me, I have to reconsider whether I'm meant to be published or not. Of course, I wouldn't put any of that stuff in a cover letter either--and I doubt you would either.

    Thanks for a great illustration. If I hadn't read Selah's post and other commentaries on it before, I'd have been with Joel wondering if I had the wrong blog.

    Donna, it's not just you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. *pops bloodvessel laughing*

    Now that's comedy ;-) And thanks for introducing Selah's blog. Looks like a good read over there too!

    ReplyDelete
  10. You are evil. I'm so glad you're here for us.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Aliens have eaten PBW's brain! Or maybe she was just overcome by passion for her hot male blogstalker.

    Great post! LMAO!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I thought this was hilarious, except the part about fundraising. Someone who's facing a life-threatening illness with no medical insurance, whose house just burned down, or who lost everything to Katrina is NOT equal to wanting a chin tuck in Mexico. God forbid you should ever be in a dire situation.

    Unless, of course, I have not SEEN the blogs soliciting contributions for frivolous causes, in which case, forget I said anything. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh man! The best! I've seen writer blogs just like this one!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I had to stop breathing in order to NOT explode with laughter in the office.

    It was worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Since PBW donated to both auctions and has discussed them on her blog, I assumed that she was referencing something else. :-)

    I'm going to have to go check out Selah's blog, so I can see how this post came about. :-p

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am so screwed.

    Anyone got any ideas for a new name so I can start working on that new publishable identity?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ah dear. I just burst out giggling in a nearly-silent classroom.

    Well said.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Nice to know I'm not sailing the high seas all alone on the good ship "YOU-ARE-SO-SCREWED." :)

    Selah

    ReplyDelete
  19. Funny stuff, but what's "politically correct" about that? That was more like Perforated Cranium Writer to me.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Is it too late to get lipo? *ggg*

    ReplyDelete
  21. LOL!! I think you've read some of the blogs I've read.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Do you have a license to wield that wit in public? very dangerous woman, you are. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Joel wrote: I was wondering if I was reading the wrong blog.

    Right blog, wrong universe.

    Donna wrote: That was...scary. And is it just me, or is political corectness always anything but?

    Sometimes the PC makes about as much sense as the un-PC stuff. Like evacuees versus refugees -- hello, why don't we simply call them what they are? You know, survivors?

    HotMale994 wrote: lol, luv yr blog, link me, kthxbye

    Lars, you're supposed to be out mowing the lawn.

    Karen wrote: BTW, your ship sailed a long time ago too.

    Sank, more like.

    Jeri wrote: ROFL. That's all I'm gonna say.

    (Jeri also knew me before I became a cult figure.)

    Demented M wrote: Hey a hot male reads your blog!

    At my age, all that makes me want to do is run go get the safety thermometer and the Children's Tylenol.

    Andi wrote: I thought my poor brain was going to explode

    I'm going to make Mom read it the next time she tells me to be nice.

    Jean wrote: Of course, I wouldn't put any of that stuff in a cover letter either--and I doubt you would either.

    I can't do PCW. I got a rash simply by channeling her for this post.

    Sandra wrote: thanks for introducing Selah's blog. Looks like a good read over there too!

    Yep, there's always a good supply of intelligent un-PC posts at Selah's place.

    Kate wrote: I'm so glad you're here for us.

    Thanks, Kate. The problem is, PCW wants to stay in our universe and join RWA.....

    Carter wrote: Aliens have eaten PBW's brain!

    Sure, Carter, give away the plot for the next book, why don't you?

    Natalie wrote: I thought this was hilarious, except the part about fundraising.

    and

    ValMarie wrote: Since PBW donated to both auctions and has discussed them on her blog, I assumed that she was referencing something else. :-)

    That was sort of a poor inside joke, ladies, sorry. I had reconstructive facial surgery earlier this year -- not for cosmetic reasons, but to enable me to chew normally and to prevent three old breaks in my jaw from further disintegrating. I wouldn't diss the many worthy fundraising efforts going on out there.

    deuz wrote: Never. Again.

    No worries. We've mined the quantum wormhole.

    Trace wrote: I've seen writer blogs just like this one!

    and

    Mama Rose wrote: LOL!! I think you've read some of the blogs I've read.

    You'll go blind doing that, ladies.

    Anna Lucia wrote: I had to stop breathing in order to NOT explode with laughter in the office.

    Anna, no more reading my blog at work. You'll get fired -- or pass out.

    Lynn wrote: Anyone got any ideas for a new name so I can start working on that new publishable identity?

    Anastasia Crowback. It's mysterious, it's Native American, and you'll get nice shelf position. Plus I don't write under it yet.

    Kayla wrote: I just burst out giggling in a nearly-silent classroom.

    No more reading my blog at school, Kayla. Your folks will kill me if you get a detention.

    Selah wrote: Nice to know I'm not sailing the high seas all alone on the good ship "YOU-ARE-SO-SCREWED."

    I'd say you've got yourself a full crew, volunteer passengers and deck bunnies.

    Nick wrote: Funny stuff, but what's "politically correct" about that? That was more like Perforated Cranium Writer to me.

    Nick, you've never been to an RWA conference, have you?

    Jordan wrote: Is it too late to get lipo?

    Don't make me hunt you down and hurt you, Jordan.

    Jaye wrote: Do you have a license to wield that wit in public?

    Mine expired. They won't give me a new one until I get my rabies booster.

    ReplyDelete
  24. PBW answered: "Anastasia Crowback. It's mysterious, it's Native American, and you'll get nice shelf position. Plus I don't write under it yet."

    Imagine that, a pseudonym you don't write under yet. Let me write that down for posterity. :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. hotmale9946:49 AM

    lol, rofl

    hey where pcw go? who pbw? pcw is hot. mayb pcw and pbw get together with hotmale994, parteh parteh

    send pics

    etc

    ReplyDelete
  26. PCW for RWA President...KIDDINGGGGGG

    ReplyDelete
  27. I found a link to this on another blog. While the entire post is a hoot, this part: “Never link to anyone who you would not sit next to at the RWA National Conference RITA awards. Is that not the SMARTEST advice you've ever heard????” was pure gold!

    Thanks for a great laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  28. *stares*

    I'm not sure whether to laugh or be scared.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I'm too poor to contribute to Dimwit's chin fund, but I will gladly send a pair of tweezers purchased at Walmart to pluck any newly sprouted chin hairs so she won't be sporting a goatee for RT.

    ReplyDelete