Critique No-Nos

Ten Things You Should Avoid Saying to Your Crit Partner

1. "Beautiful work! I just had a problem with the main characters, the conflict, the dialogue, the setting, the time period, the secondary characters, the antagonist, the POVs, the twists, the subplots, the pacing and the writing style you used. Oh, and the title -- that didn't work for me, either. But other than that, it's really brilliant stuff."

2. "Do you mind if I borrow your plot for my WIP? It's not like you're ever going to get yours published, and I'll give you a mention in the acknowledgments when mine is."

3. "Hmmmmm. People who read this sex scene are going to think you've never actually had an orgasm, you know."

4. "I heard that editors really don't mind if you misspell a few things, so I didn't bother checking for any typos."

5. "I know you weren't deliberately trying to be funny, but really, it made me laugh so long and so hard I nearly peed my pants six times."

6. "I think it's really great, how you're working through your divorce by writing about it."

7. "My baby spit up on your manuscript, but I wiped it off before I went ahead and mailed it to New York for you."

8. "The readers won't care if you have the antagonist toss the heroine's dog in the wood chipper in Chapter Ten."

9. "This is the best thing you've ever written. No, really, I'm being completely honest. Btw, you haven't quit your day job yet, have you?"

10. "Who is going to buy this novel? The plot is as ridiculous as having dragons in the Napoleonic Wars, putting a secret about Christ in a Renaissance painting, or creating a brotherhood of vampires who listen to rap music, for God's sake."

(this post is dedicated to A., for when you need another laugh)