Sunday, April 01, 2012

Secrets Ten

Ten Things That Are Huge Secrets ~ Exposed at Last!

How only one click can get you 38,000 free books.

The only thing you really have to do to write a mega-bestselling novel.

Want to come over my house? Then checkout exactly where PBW lives.

Get yourself some authentic magic fairy dust for your novel.

True confession: the only man I would ever leave my guy for.

To find out where I waste the majority of my time, visit PBW's favorite personal porn site.

Discover what truly makes an overnight success.

After fourteen years of lurking in the shadows dodging the cameras sparing everyone's retinas, I've finally had an updated bio pic made of me. Yes, I can personally verify that this photo was taken of me on March 31st, 2012 (and it's miraculous, how really attractive I look in this one.)

Learn everything you ever wanted to know about the secret handshake.

And finally, my dearest wish for all of my visitors today.

17 comments:

  1. Ha! I knew this was coming

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    1. You know me too well, wench.

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  2. Grrrr... I got clear down to the picture line before I remembered that it's after midnight where you are! By virtue of your east coast time, you *always* get me.

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    1. Sorry, I couldn't resist. Every year I tell myself I'm going to be mature and ignore the day and post something authorial, but it never works.

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  3. Hahaha this was brilliant :) Personal porn site is the best site in the world. E.E Cummings is a sexy, sexy man.

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    1. Amen. If he were still alive and not taken, I'd be his roadie.

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  4. Happy April 1st, Lynn. ;o)

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  5. Hahaha. The first link I checked was "Where PBW lives" (not stalkery at all) and I knew I'd been had...

    Happy Fool's Day!!!

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    1. Hee hee. Come over anytime. :)

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  6. A funny post, and it's so nice to finally have an updated photo of you!! lol

    Happy 1st day of April

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    1. I also restored that quilt in the background, you know. Ha.

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  7. I wondered what you'd do for today. Love it! Especially the GPS on where PBW lives.

    Did you draw your fool? He's cool!

    Happy April Fool's day. :o)

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    1. I had that fool stored in with some old clip art, so no, I can't take credit for him. Glad you liked the jokes. :)

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  8. Loved the photo. Always thought you were taller.

    I am curious though. It seems like having an author photo is imperative for most authors. How did you manage to avoid providing an author photo and, if it's not too personal, why have you chosen not to release one?

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    1. Robin wrote: Always thought you were taller.

      Heightwise I am definitely on the shrimp side of the scale. I was 5'4 in high school but after all the surgeries I shrank a bit.

      It seems like having an author photo is imperative for most authors. How did you manage to avoid providing an author photo and, if it's not too personal, why have you chosen not to release one?

      Actually I do have one. Back in 1999 I was coerced into taking an author bio photo; you can see it in the back of my early StarDoc books (and honestly it doesn't look like the real me at all, as I'd been spackled with two pounds of makeup and had my hair lacquered into a helmet.)

      I am not at all photogenic, and the photographer who took that buo shot soon discovered this. She spent four hours photographing me and ended up with maybe six halfway decent pics out of more than two hundred. It was such an awful, humiliating experience that I promised myself I'd never let them bully me into doing it again. Despite all the pressure on me over the years -- and that has often been considerable, especially when my books starting hitting the Times list -- I've kept that promise to myself. Best professional decision I ever made, I think.

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    2. buo = bio. Sorry, I've only had one cup of tea this morning.

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