Saturday, February 13, 2010

Officially

Only one official bio pic exists of me, the one I was forced to take during my rookie year. It was a disaster because a) I'm not photogenic, b) I hate to be photographed and c) they piled so much make-up on me that I was obliged to remove it with a hammer and chisel after the shoot. Honestly, I hate the damn thing, but what can I say. Back in those days, I was a terrified rookie who was easy to browbeat.

Eleven years have passed, and after being repeatedly bitched at asked many times to update that pic -- the only official photo Publishing has of me, btw -- my obnxoious attitude began to seem, okay, a little unreasonable. None of my editors know what I look like; my agent has only a few fuzzy memories and the readers must think I'm Cover Girl's #1 customer. I don't look like that strange person smothering under all those pounds of foundation and eyeliner. Maybe it was time to set the record straight and show the world once and for all exactly who I am.

I went into this stressful project with a list of demands: no make-up, no phony lighting, no attempts to make me look thinner or younger or prettier (the only way to do this is to put me in a plus-size junior outfit, stick me in a giant vise and drop a bag over my head.) Even knowing how unphotogenic I am, I've never wanted to been seen as anyone other than the real me.

The Canadian company I hired to do the portrait agreed to my demands, and got started. It was kind of a process, but then, these things always are. They worked hard on their end, and today they finally delivered the finished product.

For once I'm okay with the results. I know it isn't at all what the publishers want, but it is 100% me. I also personally picked out the color theme, which I thought was a nice change from the usual authorial chick pink twinset and pearls. So for everyone who is curious:

PBW's Official Bio Photo 2010

Not too bad, huh? I'm pretty happy with it. Of course, feel free to let me know what you think in comments.

55 comments:

  1. You're a little shorter than I imagined...

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  2. You are very photogenic! I just love the way they highlighted your ... erm ... lines. For once, an author photo I'm comfortable staring at...

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  3. I'd recognize you anywhere.

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  4. Hmmmm. Unless you are part sunbeam, and part child of the night, I suspect you've linked to the wrong photo. If it's supposed to be funny, it went waaaaaaay over my head.

    I hate getting my photo taken, too. What you see is what you get. ;-)

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  5. I think you're cute just the way you are!

    (You don't have a link to the other bio photo, do you?)

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  6. Bwah-ha-ha-ha!

    Damn, but you are gorgeous! I'd like the name of the photographers, please. They have done some excellent work there.

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  7. You absolutely look thin. You need to indulge in more purple foods.

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  8. Love it! It clearly shows who you are!

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  9. What a lovely PCR you have!

    I LOOOoooved doing these in my genetics labs. (yes, they let us do these! they let me play with genetic material! ok, my own, and some yeast spore crossbreeding but muaahahaha!)

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  10. Ooh! You're showing your gender tags!

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  11. So no wonder that, after years of reading your blog, I still have no idea of what you look like!

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  12. Margaret S5:56 AM

    Didn't they warn you that horizontal stripes make you look fatter.
    Have you children been trying to figure out which features they inherited from you?

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  13. Margaret S6:02 AM

    Oops!! I fotgot to say I liked the colour scheme - Black and blue all over - So is your nickname Bruiser?

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  14. Anonymous6:19 AM

    Who knew that an extreme close up could look so -- blue?

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  15. LMAO. I think you're a smart ass.

    And I like that.

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  16. What can I say? We Canadians have the ability to capture the inner person.

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  17. Anonymous8:06 AM

    Absolutely lovely photo! You are so much younger, thinner and sexy than I expected and I would have never guessed your hair was that color. Is it natural?

    Edie

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  18. ROFL Dahling, you look gorgeous in that photo. Of course, any photo like that begs the question: "Do these nucleotides make my butt look big?" ;o)

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  19. Files the DNA fingerprint away in case the cover art designer from Stay the Night ends up in the East River.

    ;-) The fuzz won't get it from me.

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  20. What a lovely double helix you have!

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  21. raine wrote: You're a little shorter than I imagined...

    True, I am pretty dinky. But look at my IGF-2. Betcha don't see many stacked like that. ;)

    Phoenix-Karenee wrote: I just love the way they highlighted your ... erm ... lines.

    I say if you got 'em, flaunt 'em. And if you don't, well, you're probably a paramecium.

    Gina Black wrote: I'd recognize you anywhere.

    That's the other reason I had it done; no one should ever again mistake Julianne Moore for me.

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  22. Deb Salisbury wrote: Hmmmm. Unless you are part sunbeam, and part child of the night, I suspect you've linked to the wrong photo.

    Lol. Can I use that in my new bio? "Part sunbeam, part child of the night, author Lynn Viehl. . . "

    If it's supposed to be funny, it went waaaaaaay over my head.

    I admit, it is kind of a lame running joke here at the blog. But I thought this one was a little funnier that the last bio pic I posted.

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  23. Shakespeare wrote: I think you're cute just the way you are!

    Thank you, kind lady.

    (You don't have a link to the other bio photo, do you?)

    Not that I'd inflict on anyone. But if you're really determined to see the horror, do a Google Image Search for S.L. Viehl.

    Jaye Patrick wrote: I'd like the name of the photographers, please. They have done some excellent work there.

    I don't know if their equipment is still working, but you can check out their website here.

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  24. Lisa Rusczyk wrote: You absolutely look thin. You need to indulge in more purple foods.

    Thank you, and yes, I probably should. James Cameron just called; he wants to cast me in his next movie.

    L wrote: Love it! It clearly shows who you are!

    Can't getting any clearer than this. Hee hee.

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  25. Rachel wrote: Ooh! You're showing your gender tags!

    That was kind of deliberate; this should put to rest forever that annoying rumor that I'm Stephen Leigh.

    Ruth wrote: So no wonder that, after years of reading your blog, I still have no idea of what you look like!

    True. Then again, if you're ever investigating a bank robbery, you can now instantly rule me out as a suspect.

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  26. Margaret S wrote: Didn't they warn you that horizontal stripes make you look fatter.

    No, I'm just fat no matter which way the stripes run. Lol.

    Have you children been trying to figure out which features they inherited from you?

    Very few, thankfully; they both take after their dad more than me.

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  27. Anonymous9:54 AM

    Har! I can't believe I fell for this again! :)
    JulieB

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  28. I think your first picture is lovely but this! This captures the real you perfectly! :o)

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  29. Margaret S wrote: Oops!! I fotgot to say I liked the colour scheme - Black and blue all over - So is your nickname Bruiser?

    Nope. Oddly I have no nicknames other than PBW. Well, when I was in the military they called me Snow, but I'm not going to explain that one.

    Anonymous wrote: Who knew that an extreme close up could look so -- blue?

    I was feeling a little sad that day. I must have just seen some new cover art or something.

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  30. Shiloh Walker wrote: LMAO. I think you're a smart ass.

    Better yet, now you have photographic proof that I am. Lol.

    Darlene Ryan wrote: What can I say? We Canadians have the ability to capture the inner person.

    Amen! Ha.

    Edie wrote: You are so much younger, thinner and sexy than I expected and I would have never guessed your hair was that color. Is it natural?

    You are very good for my ego, pal, and yes, my MC1R is entirely natural. A mutation that only affects 4% of the population, as it happens. :)

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  31. suelder wrote: Files the DNA fingerprint away in case the cover art designer from Stay the Night ends up in the East River.

    I don't think that'll ever happen. Although if anyone ever infects the designer with a virus that makes skin turn permanently Day-Glo pink, you should probably have me detained and questioned. :)

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  32. Charlene Teglia wrote: What a lovely double helix you have!

    Thanks -- I like my curves. :)

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  33. Anonymous10:28 AM

    You look kind of like my mother's aunt but in a good way.

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  34. JulieB wrote: Har! I can't believe I fell for this again!

    The trick is to wait until everyone has forgotten the last time you did it.

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  35. Twisted, but funny. Your humour gene is showing.

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  36. Wow, that's not the way I remember you when we met. How do I say this tactfully? Did you have, you know, "work" done?

    Seriously, I remember you being a lovely woman.

    However, even if we writers resembled the south end of a north bound donkey, who cares? Only the work matters.


    My word verification is marma which must mean retribution for messing up something.

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  37. Ok, I'll admit to a bit of (well, a lot of) rooky excitement immediately followed by the inevitable disappointment. Thanks for keeping me on my toes, Lynn. :-)

    Happy Valentines Day!

    Hugs,
    Nina

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  38. I went through the same process, with the same result. I trashed the several rolls of film that showed me without my glasses, plastered in make-up.
    I use a picture my hubby took when I was working at my laptop if people ask for a photo. It shows me doing - what I do. In one of my favorite pullovers.
    Shame, I'd like to see you without all that extra gunk!
    You're braver than me, though. No way would I reveal all that in a photo!

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  39. Thanks for the laugh!!! LMAO

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  40. Ah, a true portrait! Loved it!

    Dottie :)

    Now this is odd....word verification is corpse.

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  41. How many pictures do you have where someone has snapped a pic but not fast enough before your hand blocks. I must have about a million of them, myself. Think I'll put one for my profile pic lol.

    I long ago gave up wearing makeup when I realized I looked like my dad in drag. And that is NOT a joke.

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  42. Anonymous12:02 AM

    Lynn,
    I love your humor. I could see you incorporating this joke into one of your books. You know, some smart butt character like Sam would pull this stunt! But, you know what, people who really love you and your books don't need a picture to show us what you look like. You are beautiful on the inside and are therefore automatically beautiful on the outside. . . . big hairy face moles and all! LOL! Just kidding!
    Tami
    Jacksonville

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  43. Keita Haruka9:27 AM

    Oh my! Nice, strong DNA you have there. :D You look nice in blue. :P

    Double-take WTH moment initially before it clicked. So funny! :D

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  44. Oh my! There *is* a gene for the funny bone and yours is so prominent. Thanks for the giggle. :)

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  45. LOL. I needed that laugh. Just goes to show, mere pixels can never hope replicate your image.

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  46. Very, very funny indeed!
    But you know, that's kinda original.
    Love your humor!
    And love your very photogenic.... erm... lines!

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  47. LaurieF5:43 PM

    Too funny! Your humor always makes me smile. And you look fab in blue.

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  48. Really had me going there...
    you also had me laughing my ass off...

    now my face hurts...


    thanks for the face pain..

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  49. You have the best sense of humor and your fans are no slouches either. I think you all should take it on the road.
    Needed the laugh. Thanks. c.

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  50. That's fantastic! You rock my world. I hope they let you put it on your books. :)

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  51. That is so cool. However, only my DNA can recognize you that way, and maybe not then.

    I always thought I'd have my photo taken in a big picture hat with a bunch of freshly picked roses in my lap. Or maybe daisies.

    My book is fiction. Why can't my photo be fiction too?

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  52. You look suspiciously like those strawberries from 9th grade bio.

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  53. OMG. That made me literally snort then crack up.

    Bravo.

    Also, saw the other picture. (The real you.) You are beautiful.

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