Wednesday, June 18, 2008

New Fee Schedule

After watching the Associated Press making all kinds of new friends around the liberal alternative blogosphere this week, I pondered how much I could charge for what other bloggers link to and quote from what I post here at PBW.

Here's what AP charges for what you excerpt from their stuff:

5-25 words $ 12.50
26-50 words $ 17.50
51-100 words $ 25.00
101-250 words $ 50.00
251 words and up $ 100.00


I wonder if that last and up means I'd only have to pay $100.00 if I quoted like a million words. Sounds like a real bargain, then, doesn't it? If so I might start writing political novels . . . .

Anyway, I know I'm not as big or as important as AP, and writers are usually cash-poor, so my new fee schedule is a little more realistic:

PBW Excerpt and Quote Charges:

5-25 words -- one dozen homemade cookies (chocolate chip)

26-50 words -- one cake (chocolate) with icing (dark chocolate) and strawberries (fresh)

51-100 words -- dinner at restaurant (French) with my choice of anything I want from the menu and the dessert cart

101-250 words -- one week's all expenses-paid stay at Colorado mountain spa (luxury) with young personal attendant (male and cute) to be provided with palm frond fans, champagne grapes (French) and books of my choice. . . . and oh another young personal attendant (male and cute) to rub my feet when I get tired of walking from the bed to the jacuzzi

251-300 words -- an all-expenses paid month in Paris penthouse (exclusive) with male film star of my choice (single) and new wardrobe of clothing (designer) and collar of diamonds (one carat or larger) and a lot of other stuff I can only get in France, like decent bread and cassoulet, etc.

Anything over 301 words -- my own island or country (democratic) with a healthy, well-fed population (happy) willing to work hard in order to shower me with wealth, mansions, private jets, yachts, and young male personal attendants (the population will have Sundays off, during which time they may gather to worship me as both government leader and benevolent goddess.)

I don't think that sounds altogether too unreasonable, do you?

20 comments:

  1. *gulp*

    I think I'd rather pay you the AP rates.

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  2. Well well...commenting on something means you've read it first (I hope) so it's some sort of 'compliment' I wouldn't charge for. It's like...free publicity and appreciation what could be more rewarding? Money? Don't think so...

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  3. no I think it sounds much more reasonnable. and more fun also :)

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  4. Sounds reasonable to me. I think you'd make a fine benevolent goddess. Will writers get tax-exempt status in your country?

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  5. Pssst--I have the Isle of Wight on special offer. Interested?

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  6. Genius!! Your words are golden and I am sure you will have lots of buyers (not) willing to pay huge sums (fat chance) to quote your words of wisdom (a girl can dream)!

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  7. Icarus wrote: *gulp* I think I'd rather pay you the AP rates.

    All right, if you can't make decent homemade chocolate chip cookies, I'll accept store bought, as long as they come from a small, independently-owned bakery versus one of those big supermarket chains.

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  8. bookclover wrote: Well well...commenting on something means you've read it first (I hope) so it's some sort of 'compliment' I wouldn't charge for.

    With your attitude, AP is never going to hire you to report for them, you know.

    It's like...free publicity and appreciation what could be more rewarding?

    I think AP is giving us all a wake-up call. Forget this free, word of mouth viral marketing bloggers have been doing for AP stories for so many years. AP can handle advertising their own image in a positive way on the internet; just look at how well they've done with this story.

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  9. Alexandra wrote: no I think it sounds much more reasonnable. and more fun also

    See, I'm not a greedy monster, and a reasonable attitude will be rewarded. Alexandra, you may quote or excerpt any 5 words you want from PBW, no charge.

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  10. Darlene wrote: I think you'd make a fine benevolent goddess.

    Why, thank you, I think I would. I still have a couple of spots open in my new cabinet. Have you ever considered being a Secretary of State?

    Will writers get tax-exempt status in your country?

    As long as they dedicate every novel to their primary source of inspiration (me), their spiritual and literary leader (me) and the far superior writer to whom they owe everything (me), I'll give them a proper gratitude deduction.

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  11. Buffysquirrel wrote: Pssst--I have the Isle of Wight on special offer. Interested?

    As long as I can move into Osborne House straight away, and get rid of that annoying Garlic Festival, I'd consider it.

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  12. Slayercat wrote: Genius!! Your words are golden and I am sure you will have lots of buyers (not) willing to pay huge sums (fat chance) to quote your words of wisdom (a girl can dream)!

    This sort of joshing around is not going to get you any words, Slay. Hmm.....maybe I should start charging for the privilege of commenting on PBW, too.

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  13. I put walnuts or pecans in my chocolate chip cookies. I hope this is acceptable.

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  14. Charlene wrote: I put walnuts or pecans in my chocolate chip cookies. I hope this is acceptable.

    Either nut is fine with me; they give an extra crunch. So are raisins, as long as they're dark. Yellow raisins, however, are not "golden" as they are advertised; they're yellow, and possibly jaundiced. So all yellow raisins will be picked out and fed to the peacocks.

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  15. Will you only accept chocolate chip cookies? There are other flavors and it might be nice every once in awhile to try something else.

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  16. I guess I better start baking.

    PS-I'm not a very good cook. Do you accept store-bought?

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  17. I was thinking I could handle the cookies and the cake... but then I read Darlene's comment about tax exempt status for writers on your island...?

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  18. Uh, what about brownies? Homemade, no nuts although an icing/frosting is permittable if acceptable.

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  19. I would even throw in a young male personal assistant to carry you from the bed to the jacuzzi and you would still get your foot massage assistant!

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  20. Do I only get charged if I use the same words you do in the same order?

    Because otherwise, I owe you a massage and a lot of cookies.

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