Wednesday, June 01, 2016

Finally

Today is the release day for Dreadnought And Shuttle by LJ Cohen, which is the third novel in her Halcyone Space series. Since being introduced to this universe two years ago, and then being blown away by the sequel, I admit, I've been a little impatient for the third installment. I've also been trying to think up ways to get my next Halcyone fix before summer 2017, so in honor of this latest release I put together:

Ten Things We Can Do to Make LJ Cohen Write Faster

Ask Her -- If we get my Mom to make the call then she'll have no choice (I never do.)

Bribes -- Bake huge batches of LJ's favorite cookies, e-mail photographs of them to her and casually mention how we might be in her neighborhood next week and could drop them off . . . if she finishes a couple chapters.

Dr. Who Her -- I know LJ is a huge fan of Dr. Who, and I'm not above stealing a Mark 1 Type 40 Tardis from a comicon convention and using it to bounce her through time until she hands over book four. We should get that busted chameleon circuit fixed first, though.

Family Enlistment -- Secretly contact her family and persuade them to accidentally on purpose lock her in the computer room a couple times a week.

Guilt Tripping -- mention whenever LJ stops by comments how we don't have anything good to read, how much crappy SF there is out there, and how nice it is that she has so much free time on her hands to comment on blogs.

Meme Her -- Start an internet viral trend by posting pictures of ourselves doing boring, tedious things like laundry while we grumble that we'd much rather be reading book four. Like the sad Keanu Reeves sandwich thing, only more heart-wrenching.

Phone Constantly -- If enough of us do, then she'll have to unplug the phone and that will help her concentrate on writing instead of talking on the phone. We could pretend to be telemarketers to be extra annoying.

Pity Partying -- pretend to have a discussion at least once a month about the books, but mostly whine about how much we want the next one.

Weep A Lot -- Easy to do on command if you just think about the ending of The Notebook, or Gladiator. Wait, I think we'll need web cams for this one.

Write Letters -- A campaign of snail mail might do the trick. At the very least her postal carrier will start giving her the stink eye every day.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a book to read. Maybe if I just read one page a day . . . . no, it's like potato chips. I can never stop at just one.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, man, you really know how to make a gal feel special on her release day. {{{hugs}}} You rock!

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    1. Hey, LJ, congratulations! I was just baking some cookies and writing a letter and looking for your phone number while I set up my new web cam. By the way, if you ever were locked inside a Tardis, do you think you'd need a seat belt? Ha.

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