Saturday, May 16, 2015


I always reserve the right to make fun of anyone who SPAMs me. You have been warned many, many times, yes?


Hope you are well.

No, you don't. You don't know me. I could be in an iron lung and you'd be completely clueless. So get on with it.

We have a dedicated team of 50 professional’s who are backed by experience and expertise.

Marvelous. Maybe they could teach you how to use contractions correctly.

Has your website become the victim of Google Panda and Penguin update, resulting the down ranking in search engines?

I have no idea what my ranking was, and what it is now is equally of no interest to me. I am intrigued by the idea of being a victim of pandas and penguins, though. What does Google make them do, cute people to death?

Do you want to get more targeted visitors on your website?

I should ask first. Hey guys, do you want this SPAMmer to paint bulls-eyes on your heads for me? Let me know.

If yes, please let us know your domain name which you want to optimize.

Sure. Go with www.pbwdoesn' (<-----See? Contraction used correctly)

We will analysis your website and send full SEO proposal with plan and activities which will be implemented on your website.

As opposed to say, taking a couple more classes in English to analysis your fluency?

Most firms overseas have achieved a significant amount of savings by outsourcing either complete or part of their SEO.

Alas, not a firm. Not overseas. Don't SEO anything. Write my own schlock. Haven't spent a dime on the blog, either. So really nothing to save or outsource. I know this will make you hate me, but there you have it.

Let me know if you are interested I would be Happy to send you more details.

While you're At it, Ask your Dedicated team of experienced, expert professional's if they Know anything about how to Eliminate Random capitalization.


  1. Ok, you made me giggle with my morning wake-up cup of coffee.

  2. Cute people to death? Hahahaha! I needed that laugh this morning. :)

  3. Love it, I also needed that laugh!