Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Gone Post

Today's original post about building characters was actually just eaten by Blogger's Delete option. It was an anecdotal thing about me and my Dad and Neiman Marcus, only remotely related to characterizations, and while that might sound interesting it was actually beyond depressing. Now that's it gone forever, no copy saved, no printed out version to tuck in the personal journal, I'm glad I erased it out of existence. That stuff was between me and my dad, and Neiman Marcus was only peripheral. The unhappiness of the past needs to be released, not relished. And I wrote really because I was just missing Dad more than anything, and wishing I'd had more time with him in this place.

You know who my Dad was? The only person in my life who was always glad to see me. Always. No matter how or when or why I showed up on his doorstep, he smiled and hugged me and was genuinely happy to have me there. Every single time. Never once did he welcome me with anything but joy and delight. You think that may be a very small thing but actually it was huge for me; on a few occasions it was all the love I thought I had in my life. Think about everyone you know, and try to pick one person who felt or feels the same about you, and you'll understand how rare that is. That's really what I want to remember about Dad when I miss him: how blessed I am to have known someone as kind and sweet as he was. How I wish I could be more like him, too.

So here's today's bit of unsolicited advice for all of you: the next time you see someone you care for, be happy to see them. Welcome them with joy and delight. Let me know they are loved. It doesn't cost anything, it won't hurt you, and it will be something they remember when they think of you after you've moved on to the next place.


  1. That's truly unconditional love. I'm sorry your dad has passed on, but he left a beautiful legacy. God bless him.

  2. My Dad was the same way. The best thing in the world to him was having us--his four kids--walk through the front door. I miss his warm hugs and happy smiles so much...

  3. It was my Mum for me and it was a wonderful feeling. Like you I miss that, but now I'll make an extra effort to be that person for my kids, if for no-one else. Thanks for the advice.

  4. Thank you for the reminder. Sometimes I let stress get to me when I should be giving that energy and focus to positive, creative forces. There's always room for more love.

  5. Always, always, always, tell the people that you love that you love them - preferably every single time you leave their presence.

    You never know when it will be the last.

    We had a sudden death in our family a couple weeks ago. I am so incredibly glad that I'd taken the extra few minutes to seek him out and hug him and tell him I loved him, just a few days before.