Monday, March 19, 2007

Fubb Ten

Ten Things I've Learned During the Last Ten Days
(or, why PBW vanished from the internet)

1. Blaming Publishing for being Publishing is like blaming God for being God. Good luck with that.

2. Don't assume that you can use a treadmill when you have a very bad knee simply because a physician thinks you can. You will fall and blow out the knee.

3. If you're not in a good mood, don't make career decisions, negotiate contracts, read royalty statements or contemplate the writing universe at all. Read Bill Bryson instead.

4. Never look at 50,000 words of a novel and think, "I'll just throw them away and start over. Take me a day, maybe two to rewrite them from scratch." It will take you, minimum, ten days, much tearing out of hair and assorted crying jags.

5. No matter how good it feels, ignoring the internet, Publishing and the world in general while you're creatively pissed off does not make them go away.

6. Opening an e-mail with the subject line "I hope your father dies" is dumb. Reading it is dumber.

7. Refrain from locating your internet computer on a second floor if 1) there is a possibilty you will be spending a lot of time wearing a steel leg brace, 2) your spare computer is in the shop, 3) there's a chance that your wireless router and three adapters will fry during a power surge and 4) the significant other is going to be out of town for ten days.

8. Sulking feels good -- feels really good, in fact -- but you're always sorry after you're done sulking.

9. Unplugging is good. Unplugging and not telling anyone why is bad. Unplugging, not telling anyone why, and thinking seriously about committing professional suicide by means that are best described as Le Grand Trampling Exit is childish.

10. You probably don't deserve the friends you have. And you probably never will.

I'm sorry for bailing on you guys. Thanks for your e-mails, good thoughts, and your endless patience.

One more thing: the book, she is DONE (thunk.)

75 comments:

  1. PBW! Glad to see you're back and more or less intact! I swear I heard the thunk up here :)

    I wish I could thunk . . . god how I wish . . .

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  2. Coming out of lurkdom for just a sec....
    Well, at least the last ten days are in the past now. Sorry they sucked, but you were missed and it's good to see you back.
    Congratulations on the thunk!

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  3. Glad to see you back. We missed you. :-)

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  4. Oh, welcome the hell back!
    We were all so worried!!
    (can you imagine the scenarios going through the minds of 80+ writers?!). :-O

    Sorry for what sounds like an AWFUL week, but good to see you.

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  5. Everyone deserves a bad day (or week) every now and again.

    Glad to know you're (mostly) OK.

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  6. Congrats on finishing the book. :) Sorry to hear about the knee. I can sympathize. As for number six on the list, someone has some seriously bad karma coming their way.

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  7. Wow, and you're taking it all with such grace and humor. I think you might be my hero.

    I'm seriously hoping you have a better next week. Good luck!

    Di

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  8. Welcome back. Congrats on getting the book done and I hope the bad-mood decisions are fixable, expecially if they're fixable by writing the book you'd just finished.

    Next time, please call or email someone who can let the webverse know you're still breathing so we don't freak out. Writers and other creative types are incredibly good at freaking out you know, thinking you're dead in a ditch somewhere or abducted by aliens, or worse yet, the RWA. And wear clean underwear. Aliens appreciate it, least that's what my mom always said. ;)

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  9. Good heavens, and here I am sloughing in my own despond and neglecting you completely. I hope you can forgive me!

    As you already know, this has passed and you seem to be the better for it. Please, don't forget your friends.

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  10. Anonymous1:35 AM

    Oh, thank goodness, you're...okay. Mostly. But 'thunk' is good.

    My imagination is way too vivid. I could see the headlines: "Writer Wearing Clean Underwear Abducted by Reptile Aliens". More at 11.

    As for #6, I think I know some restless spirits who are looking for someone to torment. Let me see what I can do.

    Glad you're back.

    Karen, the lurker

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  11. What Raine said. Exactly.
    Am relieved.

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  12. My sympathies on the knee. I know what you are going through. I've torn both the ACL and the meniscus in my left knee. The latter injury required seven weeks in a knee brace and on crutches in the middle of winter. Just remember...it only gets better!

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  13. You did it! I'm glad you're back and okay for the most part. You were missed.

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  14. Yanikei2:03 AM

    Ow. Ow ow ow.

    ...Ow.

    Honestly, that sounds really painful. (No, really?) Your physician deserves to be shot for the bad advice. I'm glad that you're maybe-kinda-sorta okay now, though! And congratulations for finishing the book!

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  15. Welcome back!

    Glad to know that you're mostly in one piece!

    We were worried about you.

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  16. Welcome back, P.! We missed you.

    Sorry about the knee. (You want I should send Mr Knuckles and Sunglasses Jim around to the doctor's place? They do good work... won't leave a bruise. I'll send them to No. 6's place, too!)

    Excellent that you've finished the book (is it something we're allowed to know about? Can we do fan girl squeals?)

    Honestly, we're glad you're okay, the scenarios I was thinking up were getting way out of hand.

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  17. Just glad to see you're alive. Take care of yourself.

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  18. I don't know why I am astonished at the actions of no.6, but I am. I guess it's fuel for the writing but nevertheless something you could do without.

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  19. Very glad to hear the 'thunk' and want to read it when it's released.

    Everyone gets to 'just lose it' once in a while, including PBW. Glad to see you back; too many worry thoughts were playing in my head.

    Number 6 -- some people just aren't human (or is it some humans just aren't people?). Send Cherijo to deal with them, and if she's too busy to hand them their just desserts, the rest of us will!

    Chronic pain is hard to live with, hope your knee gets better soon.

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  20. http://meardaba.livejournal.com3:49 AM

    I'm so sorry someone sent you an email like that. I have no words to express how unbelievably wretched that is.

    Feel better soon.

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  21. So glad you're back!! Hugs on the horrible week.

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  22. Aw -- hey, if it makes you feel any better, I've had a similar 10 days or so...and that's only "so far."

    1. Blaming Publishing for being Publishing is like blaming God for being God. Good luck with that.

    I never blame publishing -- I just make a list of specific people, and then blame them. Then, the voodoo dolls come out of the trunk, and I heat the pins up.

    2. Don't assume that you can use a treadmill when you have a very bad knee simply because a physician thinks you can. You will fall and blow out the knee.

    Rest up. I'm glad your sense of humor's intact. I'm sorry to hear about the knee.

    3. If you're not in a good mood, don't make career decisions, negotiate contracts, read royalty statements or contemplate the writing universe at all. Read Bill Bryson instead.

    Been there, done that -- but without Bill Bryson. However, I'm reading a terrific novel called Mistress of the Art of Death by Ariana Franklin, and I recently finished Zoe Heller's Notes on a Scandal. Both of them are good reading.

    4. Never look at 50,000 words of a novel and think, "I'll just throw them away and start over. Take me a day, maybe two to rewrite them from scratch." It will take you, minimum, ten days, much tearing out of hair and assorted crying jags.

    If you can do that in ten days, I want what you're having. I imagine I can do this in 10 days, but when I look up from my desk, months have gone by, friends have grown old, and the apocalypse has already come and gone, and left me among the rapture-challenged.

    5. No matter how good it feels, ignoring the internet, Publishing and the world in general while you're creatively pissed off does not make them go away.

    Now, wait just a minute -- in my mind, this gets rid of all of them...until I boot up the computer again.

    6. Opening an e-mail with the subject line "I hope your father dies" is dumb. Reading it is dumber.

    For this, I am truly horrified and wish that predators at least wouldn't learn how to use email. I can't even begin to tell you how angry I am that someone did this to you.

    Drop me a line if you want to chat, and in the meantime, don't let 'em get you down. I love the furry kinds of wolves, but not the ones with human skin. Just throw 'em back to the woods where they'll be happy.

    I love your novels. I am really upset that someone would do this kind of stuff to one of my favorite writers.

    I just turned in the final book in a trilogy a bit more than a week ago. It's a good and terrible feeling at the same time. Nobody throws you a parade or even sends flowers.

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  23. Hi... glad you're back. I kept checking in every day to see how your tests went... and now I know. What a bummer. Here's hoping things get better soon. Congratulations on finishing the book. Ten days is really something, imho!

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  24. I guess, "it never rains; it pours" would be appropriate here. But you've overcome it all, the worst truly being that e-mail but take heart; we've all been praying hard enough to overcome any such idiots.

    Hope it all turns around for you now, and likely reworking the book after such trauma has put so much more real feelings into it that it'll be the better for it.

    susan @ spinning

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  25. You're back! Yay!

    Whoever sent that email must have a lot of pain and anger in their life. We can hope that one day they will heal enough to regret it.

    A finished book is a sorrow and a joy :).

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  26. As bad as all that sounded, I needed to read that. It says this business is survivable.

    Now send me the link to this post again when everything goes horribly south.

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  27. Ouch. The knee. Owie. How did you resist the urge to show the doc what else you can do with your knee?

    Glad everything is relatively okay though.

    As for the email on your Dad. Whoa. I guess they were really, really, really mad that you weren't posting every day like usual. Take it as a sign of a truely dedicated reader who in no way is mentally unstable??

    Okay, maybe they were a leetle crazy.

    M

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  28. you're back!!!!

    hey, i enjoy my sulks. sulking has it's place.

    and whoever sent an email like that about your dad oughta be smacked. Some people are just plain evil.

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  29. I go by the credo that doctors never know what they're talking about. When I listen to them, I end up worse; when I ignore them, I progress nicely. Go figure.

    Very glad to see you back and see that things are (mostly) functioning.

    (And *hugs* because we all do things we know we shouldn't - it never stops us)

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  30. Hugs. I'm so sorry to hear about the troubles and that horrible email. That hateful email just blows me away.

    Congrats on finishing the book! And I'm glad you're back online.

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  31. #4: ARGH. Argh, argh, argh. Argh. Congrats on being done!

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  32. Anonymous8:36 AM

    As long as you and yours are OK, that's the most important thing! Glad to see you back and can't wait to read the "thunk".

    Marie

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  33. Anonymous9:01 AM

    Ohh, PBW! I'm so sorry to hear about your knee and your writing woes. (Well, no. I'm glad you're sharing them, and back, but I'm sorry you are experiencing those things.) Welcome back. I was going to email you but I figured you had a good reason to be gone and I didn't want to pester; I was going to send one today actually but you are back. I'm glad for that, and that the book is done. *hugs*
    Jess

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  34. Sending good knee-healing energy your way.

    I'm so sorry you had such a hard time of it recently. I'm glad you're better. We writer types were worried.

    xo
    lisa

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  35. Been worried. Am glad. Will happily travel to the US (where you live, right?) and kick #6's ass. Oh - and visit your releaseparty of the thunk while I'm at it :)

    Seriously - best whishes, all the blessings God could think of and all that. Love your blog.

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  36. Longtime lurker here.

    I'm sorry you had such an awful week, and I'm so sorry about that rotten email! I just had to come out of lurkdom to condemn such an awful act(and wish you a much much better week).

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  37. Anonymous10:22 AM

    Glad you're back.

    Glad you prevailed over pain and frustration to meet your deadline.

    Remember that for every poison pen pal, there are 40 writer/reader fans who value your courage, honesty and sense of humor.

    Martie

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  38. Opening an e-mail with the subject line "I hope your father dies" is dumb. Reading it is dumber.

    I find it hard to believe that there are people this small. This petty. This wretched. This cowardly.

    They'd never have the courage to say that to your face.

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  39. You're back! Yeah! Congrats on the thunk. Can't wait to read it. Sorry to hear about the knee, and the evil email. Just glad to hear that you weren't abducted by alien space monkeys to be there love slave. Must go know, the day job calls (and it's saying- step away from the caffeine :o) ).
    Ann

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  40. Welcome back and everything RAine said--yeah I"m a copycat =)

    We missed you.

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  41. wow, I'm pretty shocked about that email. Sounds like a hellish week, no wonder you weren't online! Hope things are calmer this week.

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  42. Glad you're finished! We missed you! Hey don't forget about your 'puter's "Go Back" or "Restore" feature when you want to get some work restored!!

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  43. Just glad you're okay. We missed you.

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  44. Stupid me. Okay as in alive. Hope things get better.

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  45. Thank you for coming back in one (battered and bruised) piece. We were very worried. We feel better now.

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  46. Welcome back, Wonderwoman. Sorry to hear about those past ten days. Ugh. You've really had a go of it. Yet more proof you are made of tougher stuff than me. Hopefully things will start picking up for you now. I'm sending much postitive vibes your way - no more disaster!

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  47. Anonymous11:43 AM

    I wanted to add to the many well wishers and hope the time away gave you whatever your spirit needed. I'm sorry you had such a difficult last ten days.

    And as for that email. Just when I begin to think that I can't be shocked or disgusted...

    BTW, can't wait to hear more about that 'thunk'.

    Ann

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  48. Kaelle12:08 PM

    Glad you're back!

    I'm sorry for your pain, but glad you're still alive :). I was imagining all kinds of things.

    Blessings,
    K

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  49. Ooch! Bummer on the knee and assorted other issues! Glad to see you're back. Yours is one of the very few blogs I still read!

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  50. Welcome Back!! (hug)
    A short time missing with no reason is okay, but if you were gone much longer we'd send out a search party.

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  51. I'm glad you're back and in relatively one piece. I've missed reading you. I hope things improve for you. There's a great song by Phillips, Craig & Dean named "A Little Bit of Morning." I find it helps me to listen to it when life kicks me in the teeth. Maybe it would help you, too.

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  52. So happy to see you're back! Hope your knee feels better and your dad is doing well. Glad the book is done. Everyone deserves a good funk every now and then.

    I just kept hoping it was nothing too bad and you'd get through it.

    Thunk indeed :)

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  53. Glad that you're posting again, I was getting worried.

    Ditto on what everyone else has said, and I agree about the sulking, it feels great at the time, but you usually feel an idiot for something you said/did whilst sulking afterwards.

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  54. I'm so glad you're back, but sorry to hear about the rotten time you've had. (((PBW))) I hope the knee heals quickly and that things look brighter. Congrats on finishing the book!

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  55. SandyW2:07 PM

    So, is it better when the s**tty events of life are spaced out (so you only have to deal with one at a time?) or when they arrive in bunches (so you can get them over with?) I’ve never made up my mind on the matter.

    PBW, it is very good to see you back online. I’m glad that you’ve survived the assorted nastiness of the last couple of weeks. I believe there must be an especially warm spot set aside in Hell for people who send vile threats like that.

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  56. Ye Gods, we'll have to start calling you Achilles from now on...

    I'm glad you're out of your hole.

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  57. I don't post much, but I'm just one more of those who noticed your absence and missed you. That said, sounds like you had every right (and every need) to drop off the face of the earth. Just glad to see you came back.

    Hugs on your knee. I had a bunch of docs prescribe biking for my knee issues (they were extra stretchy ligaments...guess what happens when you make the muscles even tighter?) so I know that we just have to listen to ourselves, but at the same time it's tough especially with doctors.

    I'm with the others on that email. I hope you forwarded it on to the proper authorities or at least that person's ISP.

    Hugs on the publishing stuff though I'm thrilled to hear you finished up another book. I'm one of those who would be horribly sad to never have to wait for another of your books, so if the publishing mechanisms get this terrible again, try focusing on us instead :).

    Oh, and everyone's allowed to sulk. It makes the good times that much brighter ;).

    Cheers,
    Margaret

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  58. Welcome back! :) We missed ya (as I'm sure is quite obvious).

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  59. Karen W.2:35 PM

    Glad to see you back! I was worried and am glad things are O.K. now. Congrats on finishing your book! :-)

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  60. I'm very glad that you're back and mostly okay.

    I'm so sorry about the knee and about the idiot who sent you that email. You should tip off the Hsktskt, I'm sure they'd have lots of fun.

    Happy healing, welcome back, and congratulations.

    P.S. Would love to hear more about the thunk as well

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  61. Glad you're back. Hope things improve.

    And looking at #6, I'd say shooting is too good for some idiots who send e-mail.

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  62. PBW, you're back! I kept checking and got worried when time passed. I'm sorry to hear about your knee and the sucky week. We're here for you and missed you bunches!

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  63. Glad things worked out OK on your end. Was worried. Good to have you back.

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  64. Glad you are back. Sorry to hear that things have been so rough for you and that you had an attack from some idiot who thinks that it makes them happier, better and more important to do something so stupid. You have an enormous pool of love and support out here. Comments have been obviously swamped with the good wishes from your friend and fans.

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  65. I was so worried. I'm so sorry to hear about the knee. Mine twinged in sympathy to read about it.

    As for the people who send stuff like #6, I can't fathom it. They belong in solitary confinement in a straitjacket and a gag.

    As for the "THUNK" that was satisfying, wasn't it? I think I heard it, but figured it was an ICBM sent up to realign the Hubble telescope.

    Glad to have you back. I'm sorry for such a terrible number of days for you.

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  66. As for #7, I'm trying to convince my husband of this, but he won't listen to me yet. The good news? I won't move into the new house for over a year yet, and it usually takes six months to a year for an idea I've planted to become his own. I have a chance...

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  67. Jason7:47 PM

    PBW!!! I'm glad to see you're back! Everyone is entitled to having a bad week. I'm just glad you're back.

    2) You're-uh, physician...he deserves to be-uh whacked...I'll say what ah c'n do.

    6) Someone else deserves to be whacked, too. My cousin Vinny is gonna be busy this week.

    10) You deserve every one of the friends you have, Lynn. You're awesome--no matter what life throws at you, you still take it with such humor and grace, you're always helping us up and coming writers to get into the biz, you're supportive, you're generous, and don't you ever doubt it.

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  68. Yay! It's good to have you back. But hey, there's nothing like an unannounced extended absence to prove just how many people love you, eh?

    ~Nicole

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  69. Simba9:27 PM

    Glad you are back with your sense of humor intact, PBW. Hope you were able to self-medicate with chocolate (Bill Bryson sounds like a good remedy, too). I hope all the evidence of how you were missed helps offset the sick sad person sending hateful email.
    On a cheerier note: a member of a news group I belong to posted that she'd picked up Blade Dancer - and promptly went out and aquired the entire SL Viehl and Lynn Viehl backlists. Awesomely addictive, those books o' yours.

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  70. What kind of flaming jackass sends that kind of e-mail?? Good Lord!

    I'm just glad you're back, PBW, and I hope that troll sits on a tack and gets tetanus in the near future. Unbelievable!

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  71. Hey PBW, very, very glad you are back and nothing too serious has happened. Everyone's entitled to a little downtime; I just hope that's out of your system and you are coming back to us! :)

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  72. *massive huggles*

    Good to know that you came out the other end ok. Totally understand, and here's to every day getting better.

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  73. I've been absent myself, so just catching on to your absence. Glad you're back, the book is done and things are better. (((hugs)))

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  74. Welcome back! Like everybody else, I was worried about you and hoping you were okay.

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