Fubb Ten

Ten Things I've Learned During the Last Ten Days
(or, why PBW vanished from the internet)

1. Blaming Publishing for being Publishing is like blaming God for being God. Good luck with that.

2. Don't assume that you can use a treadmill when you have a very bad knee simply because a physician thinks you can. You will fall and blow out the knee.

3. If you're not in a good mood, don't make career decisions, negotiate contracts, read royalty statements or contemplate the writing universe at all. Read Bill Bryson instead.

4. Never look at 50,000 words of a novel and think, "I'll just throw them away and start over. Take me a day, maybe two to rewrite them from scratch." It will take you, minimum, ten days, much tearing out of hair and assorted crying jags.

5. No matter how good it feels, ignoring the internet, Publishing and the world in general while you're creatively pissed off does not make them go away.

6. Opening an e-mail with the subject line "I hope your father dies" is dumb. Reading it is dumber.

7. Refrain from locating your internet computer on a second floor if 1) there is a possibilty you will be spending a lot of time wearing a steel leg brace, 2) your spare computer is in the shop, 3) there's a chance that your wireless router and three adapters will fry during a power surge and 4) the significant other is going to be out of town for ten days.

8. Sulking feels good -- feels really good, in fact -- but you're always sorry after you're done sulking.

9. Unplugging is good. Unplugging and not telling anyone why is bad. Unplugging, not telling anyone why, and thinking seriously about committing professional suicide by means that are best described as Le Grand Trampling Exit is childish.

10. You probably don't deserve the friends you have. And you probably never will.

I'm sorry for bailing on you guys. Thanks for your e-mails, good thoughts, and your endless patience.

One more thing: the book, she is DONE (thunk.)