Ten Things My Editors Won't Use As Blurbs
1. Afterburn: "S.L. Viehl is best known for creating the popular Stardoc series, featuring Cherijo Torin, whose bitter attitude and constant hail of corrosive sarcasm made her, toward the end, one of the most unpleasant protagonists this side of Thomas Covenant."
Ha. Take that, Donaldson. And hey, did someone end my series and forget to tell me again?
2. Beyond Varallan: "I'll admit it, she's got me hooked, I want to know what happens next. But, with all the sado-masochistic submissive kink floating around, buying the next book 'd leave me feeling like a codependent enabler."
Okay, Sasha White, no more complaining that there isn't enough sex in my books.
3. Dark Need: "In Viehl's world, there is no such thing as happily ever after, especially for Alexandra and Michael."
A psychic, how cool. [Note to self: forget about the HEA for Alex and Michael. Reviewer says there is no such thing.]
4. Endurance: "Viehl's basic writing skills continue to improve, though sentence structure remains a problem for her."
Personally I think it's wonderful that my ninth grade English teacher is still alive and reviewing my books.
5. If Angels Burn: "Not your typical brain mush with sex, Lynn Veihl can write."
I'm putting that one on the business cards.
6. Paradise Island: "Could this author have tried to keep the plot more close to the vest?"
I could have tried, but my womanly curves get in the way.
7. Plague of Memory: "I still like Viehl's writing, but I don't see any way possible for her to bring Cherijo out of the hole she's dug for one of the most interesting heroine's ever."
(whispered) Read Bio Rescue.
8. StarDoc: "A novel as poorly plotted, as clunkily written, as depthless and soulless as Stardoc could only have been published under the label science fiction."
You know, this guy is making me hot.
9. Sun Valley: "Buying this book is like buying a generic tampon: the next day you wonder what in the heck were you thinking."
I'm thinking TMI, how about you guys?
10. [WFH Novel]: "From Booklist: *Starred Review*"
I finally get one and I can't tell anybody. Rats.
(This post is dedicated, with much love, to R.)