Monday, September 25, 2006

Wish Ten

Ten Things I'd Like to Read

1. A literary novel that doesn't put me to sleep, patronize me, give me a headache, bury me in angstbabble, make me wish I was dead or sound like the author hasn't actually had sex with someone else in the room since that one time that took a whole bottle of Boone's Farm after the Prom.

2. Biography by someone who doesn't secretly loathe, envy, lust after or wish to destroy the myth of the subject of their book.

3. Explicit erotica that does not attempt to apologize for being explicit by inventing ridiculous excuses for any erotic act in the book.

4. Fantasy which makes more sense than magic. And no dragons. God. Please. Stop with the dragons. I beg you.

5. Fun science fiction. No technoslaw, no politics, no IQ tests, no ax-grindings, no derivative circle jerks, no Kerryesque BS. Just fun.

6. Horror that doesn't read like a twelve-year old wrote it after glomming on Crypt Keeper comics, excuse me, graphic novels.

7. Inspirational romance that celebrates love and faith without clubbing the reader over the head with the Scriptures every other page.

8. Military fiction of any kind written by someone who actually served in uniform.

9. Poetry that rhymes and sings instead of slithers and moans.

10. Romance that does not openly or surreptitiously seek to kiss the asses of RITA judges, the Sisters of the Immaculate Love Scene, or any other division of the Romance Police.

How about you guys? Anything you'd like to read?

36 comments:

  1. 1. I want to read something like that too. I tend to stick to genre fiction for that reason. :(

    3. Angela Knight! Robin Schone!

    4. ... but I like dragons... *pathetic face*

    5. At the risk of sounding obsequious, S. L. Viehl! :D

    8. Ehm... Chuck Pfarrer's Warrior Soul?

    I want to read as yet unpublished books now. But I admit I'm just being greedy.

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  2. Another one of your books would be fine...

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  3. Shawna3:05 AM

    1. impossible. maybe if we say so, someone will invent it?

    4. I like dragons... and every other cliche... as long as they're well done. "Fantasy that makes more sense than magic." Please, do tell what you mean by that, because my brain sure isn't sorting it out. Then again, midnight might have something to do with it. I think people are taking the no-more-dragons/wolves/cats thing to heart... I read a book recently that amused me to no end... the familiar was a hamster! Complete with plastic ball. (Sorceress of Faith, Robin D. Owens)

    9. Shel Silverstein?

    Picture books that feature minorities without falling victim to an agenda. (I'm tired of people trying to create MORE differences.)

    History that is as readable as narrative without being fictionalized.

    Ann Rule's biography (which may happen)

    Jordan's Wheel of Time 12... and, since I'm wishing, a couple dozen more as-yet unwritten books by him of whatever series is next.

    The rest of Kubla Khan...

    Can you tell I hate unfinished business?

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  4. Giles English5:06 AM

    I can help you with number 3, but then nobody actually has sex in my book....

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  5. Anonymous5:24 AM

    A review of historical fiction that doesn't harp so much on the fact that there are possibly a few inaccuracies in the history and recognize that it is a DAMNED good story.

    Ugh. I've just gotten into Phillipa Gregory in a major way and I've been reading review to figure out what to buy next. If I read one more review where the writer spends the entire time bitching about how this or that couldn't have happened in the time period, I will pull my hair out.

    Look, I am willing to forgive a damned good story for some fact fudging ALOT more easily that I will a factually perfect novel that bores me to tears. You'd think that some of these reviewers were critiquing a history book not a work of FICTION.

    Anyway, rant over. Sorry about that. Good to see you back. Hope you had fun with the family.

    Crista

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  6. 4. Lois McMaster Bujold's Chalion series.

    5. John Scalzi's stuff. I've been buying his books and donating them to our tiny local library, which has almost no sf. And they've been circulating!

    8. Ralph Peters' novels. Or, if you want to combine military fiction with no. 1, good lit fic, Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried. Best ever.

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  7. Anonymous8:08 AM

    1. Sarah Donati/Rosina Lippi.

    3. Emma Holly & Robin Schone. I like this new writer you recommended, Sasha White, very much too.

    4. But there must be dragons!

    5. Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett and your friend Simon Haynes.

    8. Chris Bunch and Allan Cole -- you have to get a "Reckoning for Kings."

    10. Doesn't exist.

    L.

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  8. You may hate it, but I really loved We Need to Talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver. Devastating and witty and shocking. And I loved the Compass Rose by Gail Dayton.

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  9. One of the most fun SF books ever is Harry Harrison's The Technicolor Time Machine. Hollywood invents time travel and instigates the discovery of America in order to shoot a Viking movie on time and under budget.

    I think Bujold's Chalion series is amazing, too. Second the recommendation on Robin Schone. And I've never gotten into inspirational romance, other than Grace Livingston Hill.

    What I want to read, well, that drives me to write. *g*

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  10. Sisters of the Immaculate Love Scene - ??? Is this where the man and woman spontaneously orgasm? Preferably when she's a virgin and they do it missionary?

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  11. Anonymous8:49 AM

    8. Try Elizabeth Moon

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  12. debbie9:23 AM

    8. James Webb

    A lot of Vietnam War books were written by actual vets.

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  13. More J.A. Konrath! I'm totally hooked on his Jack Daniels series.

    It's been a long time since an author grabbed my attention and sucked me into the story like he did. The only problem, they were so good that I inhaled them and they were over too quick.

    He needs to slow down on the promotion and get busy on the next!

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  14. 3. I presume that your familiar with literotica.com? :)

    4. What do you mean by that, please?

    I'd like to read about immortal characters in stories that go on not only for a few puny years but centuries, millenia, several millenia. We could see how the world(s) and societies change around the immortal ones and how they have to adapt. How some of them would welcome the change and others would try to stop it. Sandman is probably the closest one I can think of but I'd still like to read about something... bigger.

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  15. *G* Yeah, the next Stardoc novel.

    I'd also love it if Laurell K Hamilton wrote the next book after Nightseer It was supposed to be a trilogy, I think, but the pub didn't pick it up. I loved that book. It's her best, IMO.


    If you're looking for a good, romantic book, you could try Seraphim by Shelby Reed. It's in ebook and print. It's ROMANTIC... it's hot, and a great story.

    http://tinyurl.com/hz5hu

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  16. I would like to see #1 & #5 as well.

    ...but fantasy withotu dragons? That's like a space opera without spaceships. ;)

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  17. 8. Military fiction of any kind written by someone who actually served in uniform.

    John Ringo.

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  18. I'd like to read all 12 rolled into one. Imagine the possibilities!

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  19. Shawna wrote: "Fantasy that makes more sense than magic." Please, do tell what you mean by that, because my brain sure isn't sorting it out.

    I don't believe in magic, so most fantasy novels are completely wasted on me. If the magic is logical, and doesn't magically solve all the plot problems, and there are other interesting elements in the world building, I'll tolerate it, but otherwise, no, it's not for me.

    When I set out to design the Darkyn series back in '98, I did not want any magic in it whatsoever: no curses, no damned souls, no interference from the Almighty. Since there is a great deal of occult and quasi-religious superstition tied in with vampire fiction, I had to turn my back on everything that had been done and world build from scratch. So I deliberately sought sensible, believable foundations for the paranormal aspects of the world-building. My Darkyn characters became vampiric thanks to being infected with a pathogen that rewrote their DNA (mutations in real human beings occur when a change occurs in the DNA code, so it was totally plausible.) Although most people don't believe in psychic ability, more than once I have witnessed proof that it exists, so I was okay with using that as well. And that's all the "magic" that I think you'll ever find in my books. :)

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  20. Shawna wrote: History that is as readable as narrative without being fictionalized.

    I recommend anything Nathaniel Philbrick writes. I'm slowly reading his "Mayflower" now and loving it. Also, "Salt" by Mark Kurlansky.

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  21. lovelysalome wrote: Sisters of the Immaculate Love Scene - ??? Is this where the man and woman spontaneously orgasm? Preferably when she's a virgin and they do it missionary?

    Only if they're married, preferably in an approved religion, have turned out the lights and go to church immediately after to pray for God to forgive them, lol.

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  22. Mervi wrote: 4. What do you mean by that, please?

    I explained the fantasy sense/magic remark; see my comment above to Shawna.

    As for the dragons, I'm just glutted on them. They've been done to death and there are only a few authors who do them well anyway (like Holly Lisle, Anne McCaffrey.) I've read so many bad dragon books I think I'm sticking to unicorns from here on out.

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  23. Zornhau wrote: John Ringo.

    Oh, that was mean, Z. I haven't even begun the collected works of Vox Day.....

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  24. Lauren wrote: I'd like to read all 12 rolled into one. Imagine the possibilities!

    An anthology, maybe -- but then the lit-chicks would probably come out with one titled "This is NOT Anything PBW Would Read!" ;)

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  25. Thanks for the explanation.

    PBW wrote: I don't believe in magic, so most fantasy novels are completely wasted on me.

    Interesting. I don't believe in magic, dragons, elves etc in the real world. I can still merrily read and write about them. I'm an agnostic and I'm fascinated by gods as literary characters or devices. I'm not entirely sure if I believe in alternate universes and I love the whole alternate universe hopping that X-Men and Avengers do in comics. For me reading pleasure doesn't have anything to do with what I happen to personally believe. It's interesting to see how different our reading experiences are.

    I guess you could enjoy reading Guy Gavriel Kay's fantasy. He uses very little magic. David Gemmell uses psionics kind of magic and not much of it.

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  26. Wheeewww..

    Tell me what you've been reading so I can scratch it off any lists I might have going.

    #3? Woking on it. If the publish it that is, because there has to be a NEED to save the world by havine sex like bunnies. *rolls eyes*

    As for the histories, I LOVE 1491 by Charles Mann. Reads like a great conversation.

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  27. I'd like more teen novels where the teenagers act like real teen-agers.

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  28. Darlene, try John Marsden's Tomorrow series; it's all about teenagers and how the act in confrontational situations.

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  29. Maaaan... I hope my stuff doesn't have too much magic. Or fall helplessly into cliches. I certainly don't have any dragons.

    What I'd like to see is something new by Stephen King that reads like it was written in the 1980's, back in the grand and golden years.

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  30. I agree with you about science fiction. Albert Cowdery published a short story featuring a werewoman in FSF a few months back. That was the kind of fun that I'd like to see more of.

    Lately, meaning the last three years or so, I've felt that SF is just full of itself, especially the short form stuff.

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  31. 1. OK. My autobiography is off your list (but I've never tried Boone's Farm, and I never went to the Prom -- everything else...well...)

    2. I'm with you there -- is there any other motivation to write a biography than what you've listed?

    3. Beats me.

    4. You already know about Holly. Birkwelch is the only dragon that's ever captured my heart.

    5. That's hubby's domain, and he like archeological stuff.

    6. Never got into it. I think the last horror I ever read was Cujo. That would be my little brother's domain.

    7. As I recall, one of Monica Jackson's more recent books was reviewed as an inspirational... But seriously, have you tried Robert Liparulo's COMES A HORSEMAN?

    8. There are a few, Robert Doherty/Bob Mayer has a few good ones out there.

    9. I second Shel Silverstein.

    10. Hard to say. I don't think Jenny Crusie fits that bill, but I've read all her stuff.

    The TBR pile is several times taller than I am. I just don't read fast enough.

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  32. 8. Andy McNab. Sometimes my dad (ex-military) asks me to pick up something for him while I'm at the library - this is very challenging - but McNab was a hit, and passes the "actually served in uniform" test.

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  33. Zillin10:38 AM

    I hate when things don't make sense in a fantasy novel, and the author's excuse is because it's a fantasy novel. Things ought to make _more_ sense in fantasy, generally, because everything's invented and it has no historical pillars to lean on. I'd really love to see a talking supernatural creature that doesn't act like a human in a dragon suit, or have a burning desire to be human.

    Human: "You're running around killing people to drink their blood, and feel no guilt?"
    Vampire: "Er. . . maybe a little. It's just that you're so tasty."

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  34. I would love to read a book in another language. Unfortunately, I'm one of those Americans who can only read/write/speak in one language :(

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  35. 1 & 8) If you want to read some really good novels, that are on a military theme that won't put you to sleep and will want you reading more than look no further than the either Simon Scarrow or Conn Iggulden. Both sets of books are based during the time of the Roman Empire. Simon Scarrows is about two legionnaires and all their troubles (set of five books) and Conn Iggulden has written his on the life of Julius Caesar.

    Hope you find these worthwhile.

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  36. 5. Michael Crichton, perhaps? Patricia Cornwell?

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