As of August 26th, 2015 I have terminated my agreement for representation by agent Robin Rue of Writers House. Since we've worked together since 1998 this was a very tough decision, but our contract prevents me from indy publishing, or taking on certain projects my freelance clients would like me to do. Also, as I am comfortable getting jobs and vetting contracts on my own now, I will not be acquiring a new agent.
There are lots of articles online about how to terminate an agent; Miss Snark has the simplest and most direct one here. It's not something you want to do on the phone, in my opinion, but if you're on good personal terms with your agent and want to have a dialogue about your reasons before you send the official letter you certainly can. No one likes being fired, but agents have to deal with it probably more often than any of us. Be professional, be honest but keep your emotions out of it, and you'll probably receive the same in return.
It can be depressing, especially when you've had only one agent as long as I have, but once you're ready to move on there's no point in dithering. It's best to make a clean break and get on with your career.
As for me, this was the first step to take toward indy publishing, so now I can move forward with my plans to pursue that. If all goes well with budgeting, and finding the right people to work with, I should be able to start publishing books under my byline in a few months.
Showing posts with label agents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label agents. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 09, 2015
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Off to Sharpen Pencils
I am unplugging today to do the last thousand things necessary to get my kid ready for school. So that your stop here was not entirely wasted, some other places to visit:
There's an interesting article here by Alan Finder at the NY Times that lightly touches on some of the available sites and services out there for indie authors; definitely worth a read if you'd like a (very general) overview of self-publishing options.
If you are working on querying agents, you might want to read this post by literary agent Suzie Townsend, which offers some very sage -- and hilarious -- pointers, such as One sentence about your book and two pages about you is not the best way to sell me your book.
Someone (you know who you are) asked me if I'd ever found a random generator online that produces quick character outlines; thanks to RanGen, here you go.
There's an interesting article here by Alan Finder at the NY Times that lightly touches on some of the available sites and services out there for indie authors; definitely worth a read if you'd like a (very general) overview of self-publishing options.
If you are working on querying agents, you might want to read this post by literary agent Suzie Townsend, which offers some very sage -- and hilarious -- pointers, such as One sentence about your book and two pages about you is not the best way to sell me your book.
Someone (you know who you are) asked me if I'd ever found a random generator online that produces quick character outlines; thanks to RanGen, here you go.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Classic PBW Post #1: The Last Samurai Agent
"Ms. Hartlace," Janey said over the intercom. "There's an agent who would like to speak to you."
Senior Editor Agatha Hartlace chewed the last piece of her doughnut and swallowed before she punched the reply button. "Tell whoever it is that I'm not in today."
After a pause, Janey said, "Uh, Ms. Hartlace, he's standing right here with his assistant. In my cubicle." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "He's carrying, like, swords."
Takamori, of course. Only he would have the nerve to show up without an appointment. "That's why I said to tell him come in." Agatha switched off the intercom, turned off The Young and the Restless feed on her computer, and brushed away the powdered sugar that had fallen on the front of her blouse. "Idiot temp."
Takamori entered the office and came to stand before Agatha's desk. His gleaming black hair was pulled back in a perfect chomage. He wore navy blue kamishimo and hakama over his black kimono, and two swords and a dagger thrust through the left side of his black silk obi. Agatha smelled cherry blossom and oiled steel as he offered her a shallow bow.
"Takamori, what a nice surprise." Agatha shuffled a stack of rejection form letters that needed rubber-stamping. "How are you?"
He folded his hands inside the wide ends of his sleeves and regarded her without expression. A petite woman in a pink kimono embroidered with white cranes stepped out from behind him and bowed.
"I am Natsu," the woman said. "I will translate what my master says into English for you."
"Okay." Agatha found it highly annoying that Takamori understood English perfectly but refused to speak it. "What can I do for you and your boss today?"
Several minutes of silence passed.
He was just trying to psyche her out; Agatha knew that. But he never blinked, and she wasn't sure he was even breathing. "Or should I say, what can I do for your client?"
Takamori uttered a long string of sharp syllables.
"My master says that the perfect manuscript is a rare thing," Natsu translated. "He says that you could spend your life looking for one, and it would not be a wasted life."
Agatha forced a smile. "He should talk to my mother sometime."
Takamori spoke again, with Natsu translating almost simultaneously. "My master says that his writer is an honorable author, with talent as endless as the stars. His writer wishes to write more novels for the House of Penguins, and offered you three most perfect proposals."
Takamori took a folded a contract from his sleeve, dropped it like a used tissue on the edge of her desk, and grunted.
Natsu gestured to the contract. "And you sent him this?"
"I did?" Agatha picked up the contract and skimmed the top page. "Oh, right, the one for the next three books. We're very pleased with how the last one sold." She checked through it. "Seems in order." She glanced up. "What's the problem?"
Natsu looked at Takamori, who drew his katana.
Agatha put down the contract. "Whatever it is, I'm sure we can work it out."
Takamori drove the tip of the katana into the worn carpet and drew his wakizashi sword.
"I don't understand," Agatha babbled, staring at the razor-sharp edge. "I thought our contract offer was very generous--"
Takamori placed the shorter sword across his palms and offered it to Agatha.
"As my master has no Kaishaku-nin," Natsu said, "he would be honored and grateful if you would behead him after he disembowels himself."
"Mr. Takamori!" Agatha jumped to her feet and backed away. "Natsu, tell him that there is no reason to commit hari-kari over an unsigned contract."
"Seppuku," Natsu corrected gently as Takamori placed the shorter sword on the desk. "For ninety years, the samurai of my master's agency have protected and fought for their writers. My master is the last, and now . . . he cannot stand the shame of defeat."
"This is a very nice offer," Agatha said firmly, and faced the samurai. "Takamori, I know you understand me. You also know how hard things are for the publishing industry now. Your author should feel grateful to have the work."
Takamori opened his upper garments and slipped out of them until he was naked to the waist. He dropped down and tucked his sleeves under his knees.
"Why is he doing that?" Agatha demanded.
"To prevent himself from falling backwards," Natsu said as Takamori removed a long dagger and contemplated it. "A samurai agent should die falling forward."
"Tell Mr. Takamori--"
Natsu gestured as Takamori took the hilt of the dagger in both hands. "If you would please stand behind my master, Miss Hartlace? You must cut off his head as soon as he slices open his stomach."
"Wait," Agatha begged as she saw him invert the dagger. "I know we can work this out. It's the advance, isn't it? I could do a little better for him. Maybe . . . two thousand more on signing?"
The tip of the dagger stopped an inch from Takamori's navel. The agent did not look at her.
"Three thousand," Agatha said, and gasped as he drew back the dagger for the final thrust. "Five thousand!"
"Ten thousand would restore my master's honor," Natsu said as Takamori closed his eyes.
"Seven. It's the best I can do. I swear."
Time crystallized as Takamori breathed in deeply. Agatha didn't exhale until she saw him lower the dagger and mutter something.
"My master says his writer will be displeased with him," Natsu said, her black eyes filled with delicate sorrow. "But he believes he can persuade him to accept such terms. You will issue a revised contract by Friday?" When she nodded, Takamori rose to his feet, sheathed his dagger and swords in his obi, and bowed.
Natsu did the same. "We are most humbly grateful for your understanding and generosity, Miss Hartlace."
"You're welcome. Have a nice day." She watched the pair leave her office as silently as they had entered before she collapsed in her chair. She groped, found the intercom button, and pressed it. "Janey?"
"Yes, Ms. Hartlace?"
"Get legal to issue a new contract for Takamori's author. Increase the advance on signing by seven thousand." Agatha opened a desk drawer and took out a roll of TUMs. "Then call that ninja agent I was not supposed to see at two and reschedule. I'm taking the rest of the day off."
(Originally posted 1/21/07)
Senior Editor Agatha Hartlace chewed the last piece of her doughnut and swallowed before she punched the reply button. "Tell whoever it is that I'm not in today."
After a pause, Janey said, "Uh, Ms. Hartlace, he's standing right here with his assistant. In my cubicle." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "He's carrying, like, swords."
Takamori, of course. Only he would have the nerve to show up without an appointment. "That's why I said to tell him come in." Agatha switched off the intercom, turned off The Young and the Restless feed on her computer, and brushed away the powdered sugar that had fallen on the front of her blouse. "Idiot temp."
Takamori entered the office and came to stand before Agatha's desk. His gleaming black hair was pulled back in a perfect chomage. He wore navy blue kamishimo and hakama over his black kimono, and two swords and a dagger thrust through the left side of his black silk obi. Agatha smelled cherry blossom and oiled steel as he offered her a shallow bow.
"Takamori, what a nice surprise." Agatha shuffled a stack of rejection form letters that needed rubber-stamping. "How are you?"
He folded his hands inside the wide ends of his sleeves and regarded her without expression. A petite woman in a pink kimono embroidered with white cranes stepped out from behind him and bowed.
"I am Natsu," the woman said. "I will translate what my master says into English for you."
"Okay." Agatha found it highly annoying that Takamori understood English perfectly but refused to speak it. "What can I do for you and your boss today?"
Several minutes of silence passed.
He was just trying to psyche her out; Agatha knew that. But he never blinked, and she wasn't sure he was even breathing. "Or should I say, what can I do for your client?"
Takamori uttered a long string of sharp syllables.
"My master says that the perfect manuscript is a rare thing," Natsu translated. "He says that you could spend your life looking for one, and it would not be a wasted life."
Agatha forced a smile. "He should talk to my mother sometime."
Takamori spoke again, with Natsu translating almost simultaneously. "My master says that his writer is an honorable author, with talent as endless as the stars. His writer wishes to write more novels for the House of Penguins, and offered you three most perfect proposals."
Takamori took a folded a contract from his sleeve, dropped it like a used tissue on the edge of her desk, and grunted.
Natsu gestured to the contract. "And you sent him this?"
"I did?" Agatha picked up the contract and skimmed the top page. "Oh, right, the one for the next three books. We're very pleased with how the last one sold." She checked through it. "Seems in order." She glanced up. "What's the problem?"
Natsu looked at Takamori, who drew his katana.
Agatha put down the contract. "Whatever it is, I'm sure we can work it out."
Takamori drove the tip of the katana into the worn carpet and drew his wakizashi sword.
"I don't understand," Agatha babbled, staring at the razor-sharp edge. "I thought our contract offer was very generous--"
Takamori placed the shorter sword across his palms and offered it to Agatha.
"As my master has no Kaishaku-nin," Natsu said, "he would be honored and grateful if you would behead him after he disembowels himself."
"Mr. Takamori!" Agatha jumped to her feet and backed away. "Natsu, tell him that there is no reason to commit hari-kari over an unsigned contract."
"Seppuku," Natsu corrected gently as Takamori placed the shorter sword on the desk. "For ninety years, the samurai of my master's agency have protected and fought for their writers. My master is the last, and now . . . he cannot stand the shame of defeat."
"This is a very nice offer," Agatha said firmly, and faced the samurai. "Takamori, I know you understand me. You also know how hard things are for the publishing industry now. Your author should feel grateful to have the work."
Takamori opened his upper garments and slipped out of them until he was naked to the waist. He dropped down and tucked his sleeves under his knees.
"Why is he doing that?" Agatha demanded.
"To prevent himself from falling backwards," Natsu said as Takamori removed a long dagger and contemplated it. "A samurai agent should die falling forward."
"Tell Mr. Takamori--"
Natsu gestured as Takamori took the hilt of the dagger in both hands. "If you would please stand behind my master, Miss Hartlace? You must cut off his head as soon as he slices open his stomach."
"Wait," Agatha begged as she saw him invert the dagger. "I know we can work this out. It's the advance, isn't it? I could do a little better for him. Maybe . . . two thousand more on signing?"
The tip of the dagger stopped an inch from Takamori's navel. The agent did not look at her.
"Three thousand," Agatha said, and gasped as he drew back the dagger for the final thrust. "Five thousand!"
"Ten thousand would restore my master's honor," Natsu said as Takamori closed his eyes.
"Seven. It's the best I can do. I swear."
Time crystallized as Takamori breathed in deeply. Agatha didn't exhale until she saw him lower the dagger and mutter something.
"My master says his writer will be displeased with him," Natsu said, her black eyes filled with delicate sorrow. "But he believes he can persuade him to accept such terms. You will issue a revised contract by Friday?" When she nodded, Takamori rose to his feet, sheathed his dagger and swords in his obi, and bowed.
Natsu did the same. "We are most humbly grateful for your understanding and generosity, Miss Hartlace."
"You're welcome. Have a nice day." She watched the pair leave her office as silently as they had entered before she collapsed in her chair. She groped, found the intercom button, and pressed it. "Janey?"
"Yes, Ms. Hartlace?"
"Get legal to issue a new contract for Takamori's author. Increase the advance on signing by seven thousand." Agatha opened a desk drawer and took out a roll of TUMs. "Then call that ninja agent I was not supposed to see at two and reschedule. I'm taking the rest of the day off."
(Originally posted 1/21/07)
Sunday, March 04, 2012
Interesting Contest
To promote a new release by one of her clients, Agent Janet Reid has opened a contest for debut "American writers who are not published in novel-length form (published includes self-published) and who are not represented by an agent."
The winner will receive the following: Registration for the Backspace Writing Conference in NYC (May 24-26); Hotel for three nights (Thurs, Fri, Sat); Travel stipend of $300; and lunch with Janet.
The contest is now open for entries; no fee is involved but you have to e-mail your finished novel to Janet in order to enter. It's a good opportunity to get your work in front of an agent regardless if you win or not, and if you win you get to go to a conference for free and meet the agent in person.
Deadline for this one is March 15, 2012, and more details on how to format your entry and where to e-mail it to can be found over at Janet's blog here.
The winner will receive the following: Registration for the Backspace Writing Conference in NYC (May 24-26); Hotel for three nights (Thurs, Fri, Sat); Travel stipend of $300; and lunch with Janet.
The contest is now open for entries; no fee is involved but you have to e-mail your finished novel to Janet in order to enter. It's a good opportunity to get your work in front of an agent regardless if you win or not, and if you win you get to go to a conference for free and meet the agent in person.
Deadline for this one is March 15, 2012, and more details on how to format your entry and where to e-mail it to can be found over at Janet's blog here.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Fake Agent E-mail Scam
I just read about this today over at YAHighway, and since this is a horrific scam I thought I'd post the info as well as my comment here, too.
From Publishers Lunch:
Writers House has learned that a series of fake emails claiming to be from WH agent Jodi Reamer have been circulating to self-published authors this week. "These emails, which contain a number of false statements, have not in fact come from Jodi Reamer and should thus be disregarded." One easy "tell": they advise that any e-mail from a non-Writers House address "expressing interest in representation is counterfeit."
I've been a client of Writers House for twelve years. When I queried WH back in 1998, I had a personal rec from a Big Name Author and a two-book contract offer from a major publisher in hand. My agent (Robin Rue) did not sign me instantly; she asked to see the full manuscripts plus other samples of my work, and then she called me to talk about my career goals. Then she had to think about it. The whole thing took about three weeks.
While some agencies or agents do move faster, and occasionally a promising writer will end up having agents fighting over them, when it comes to signing with a prestigious agency it generally does require some time.
From Publishers Lunch:
Writers House has learned that a series of fake emails claiming to be from WH agent Jodi Reamer have been circulating to self-published authors this week. "These emails, which contain a number of false statements, have not in fact come from Jodi Reamer and should thus be disregarded." One easy "tell": they advise that any e-mail from a non-Writers House address "expressing interest in representation is counterfeit."
I've been a client of Writers House for twelve years. When I queried WH back in 1998, I had a personal rec from a Big Name Author and a two-book contract offer from a major publisher in hand. My agent (Robin Rue) did not sign me instantly; she asked to see the full manuscripts plus other samples of my work, and then she called me to talk about my career goals. Then she had to think about it. The whole thing took about three weeks.
While some agencies or agents do move faster, and occasionally a promising writer will end up having agents fighting over them, when it comes to signing with a prestigious agency it generally does require some time.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Is This Your Query?
Literary Agent Janet Reid has a great post here on the reasons she turned down fifty queries, along with stats on how many of the queries fell into each no-thanks category. Aside from the fact that this is an excellent chance to get into an agent's head and see queries from her POV, it also serves as a quality assurance checklist for the query-writing author.
Let's run through the list of her reasons (quoted from her post), and I'll give you some ideas on how to tell if your query will get bounced for the same:
Thinly disguised novel that's really a memoir
Many things can trigger a novel-wrapped memoir, and writers usually go through at least one of them: a dysfunctional family, an unhappy childhood, a wretched adolescence, a lousy marriage, loss of a loved one, a career meltdown and/or a terrible divorce. So if the prominent features of your story and/or your protagonist bear a striking resemblance to you/your life, you've likely gone memoir in your novel.
There is nothing wrong with writing a memoir; I don't particularly care for them but there is a market, mainly celebrity-driven, for them. That said, a memoir is not a novel. Presenting it as a novel probably feels the same way it did to use code in your high school diary so that if your little brother snitched it from your room and picked the tiny lock he still wasn't be able to figure out who Chipmunk, Sassafrass and Mr. Whoopsie were. Don't assume the agent or the reader has to be treated like your little brother.
Recitation of events
Could your query pull double duty as a chapter summary or a synopsis of your novel? If so, you're event-reciting, not pitching. This type of play-by-play query often comes from an unwillingness or an inability on the part of the writer to condense a story into a pitch. A pitch is not a breakdown or a summary of the parts; it's a brief presentation of the whole.
Example: I could tell you I have a front end, a custom modified engine, tires, a chassis, a metallic flake scarlet paint job, a steering wheel, high-grade fuel, leather-upholstered seats, brakes, headlights, a trunk, a license plate and a rearview mirror. Or I could tell you I have a little red sportscar so fast that no cop can catch me. Now, which do you think is more interesting? Which better relates the concept of the object?
Interesting concept/query so over written it boded ill for novel
You can spot a story that suffers from over-writing (or over-workshopped writing, or over-critiqued writing) from a mile away, because by the tenth or eleventh paragraph the reader become losts in the writer's strange, complicated and mostly unidentifiable Novel LaLaLand. Same goes for the query.
I've seen a couple of these. Generally the writing is mysterious, beautiful to look at, and mainly incomprehensible; the writer tosses around enigmatic-sounding phrases like coalesced chiaroscuro conflicted characterization or denuded dichotomous delineation departure to show how well they spent a hundred grand of their parents' money on that MFA in the signature block.
No one in NY offers you a contract because no one can understand your novel, your concept, or you. Simplify, use common language, let your concept shine without loading it down with sparkles, and stop trying to outword Umberto Eco. Over-writing won't sell your book, and I think it annoys Bert.
Spent so much time telling me what the novel isn't, didn't tell me what it was:
The pitch is about your book, not about everyone else's books. An agents business is to know what's been published; they will be able to tell, right off the bat, what your novel isn't. They don't need a checklist provided upfront by you.
ewwww
Measuring the ewww-factor of your query is pretty simple: you should be able to read your query letter out loud in a crowded public place and get the people around you to listen. If instead they would throw up, run away, or have you arrested, you need to consider toning it down. Way down.
I think the author is seriously deranged
A long rant or a short manifesto presented as a novel query might make an agent think this. Common inclusions in a query that are warning signs: obvious ax-grinding, bewailing the state of the Presidency/the country/religion/sex/Publishing, insulting a majority or a minority, a laundry list of heart-breaking personal problems, emotional blackmail, the state of your finances, etc.
If you are pissed off at the world, that's okay, we all get to that place at some time or another. But a query is not a soapbox or a therapy session, so don't try to make it one. (P.S. Don't tell Janet that we're all a little deranged.)
sadly out of touch about publishing time lines
Janet explained this one better than I think I can, but here's my shot: because books take so long to get into print, you need to think ahead. If you're writing something that was popular five or ten years ago, and there are no signs of a resurgence in that popularity, you're going to come off sounding dated and out of touch. Make sure your novel has enough wow factor to be considered contemporary two years from now.
Sadly out of touch self-help book
I think this is the same as being out of touch about publishing time lines, just with a specific corner of the market. But the self-help market is like any other genre, in that it's just as subject to trends and categories and such. If I were going to write any kind of self-help, the first thing I'd do would be to extensively research the market, see what's out there and what people want to read.
Non-author submission
If you have to convince a friend in the biz to front your query, you're saying "I know the secret handshake." The problem is, there is no secret handshake.
blatant ripoff of another popular book or movie
Knockoffs are always being published, so I don't agree with this 100%, but I know a lot of writers go for writing clones instead of knockoffs. The difference between original and ripoff novels is pretty obvious, but if you're still not sure, look at it this way: Since my SF series predates James Cameron's Avatar by ten years, and has nothing to do with his movie, I am allowed to keep putting tall, exotic blue people in my books. If you want the same privilege, you'd better have a more compelling reason than you adored Avatar so much that you saw it fifty or sixty times.
Don't want to read this/cliche characters and plot
This likely comes from too many writing workshops and not enough original thinking, and the writing organizations out there who harp so much on homogenization and conformity. You can actually be brain-washed into believing that everyone wants to read Yet Another Novel about a cynical P.I., a secret baby, or a vampire brotherhood. Selling that to an agent, on the other hand, is a little tougher.
Writing is not about gaining the approval of one's peers, satisfying the Thought Police, or in any other way placating the masses. It's not something you do to fit in or make yourself look good. Writing is about setting the reader's imagination on fire; how are you going to do that by serving up something that barely registers as lukewarm in an already glutted market?
Nothing compelling or enticing about the novel
Your ability to competently put together one hundred thousand words that are spelled correctly, obey the rules of grammar and make sense does not entitle you to a publishing contract. There has to be something in all those pages that is going to provide serious competition for TV, movies, the internet, video games, sex, food and now texting. If there's not, it likely won't sell.
Nothing fresh or new with usual elements of a novel
Some people say nothing is fresh, nothing is new. And some of the time when I'm reading yet another blatant knockoff, I think they're right. But the one factor in the writing/publishing equation that is always fresh and new is you. There is only one of you. So what do you bring (or can you bring) to the novel table that no one else has?
Bad writing
No one is exempt from this, not even published writers, and I think it has several causes, like the writer's state of mind, poor editing, poor planning, stagnation, phoning it in, rushing, or just not being interested enough to present your best work. And nothing shrieks "I don't care" like bad writing.
I feel for people who have no formal writing education to speak of; I am one of you, but that didn't stop me from employing my public library card and improving my understanding of fiction, writing, and the ten thousand other things I had to learn to become a pro. And I'm sorry, but with all the free resources at hand on the internet to help you improve, polish and otherwise bring your writing up to professional level, there's simply no excuse for bad writing.
Don't want to read this
Not every agent is going to be right for you. Sometimes it's not personal or even a reflection on your work; it's a matter of an agent or editor who is a bad match for you. Remember that these people have to sell us, and if they don't feel passionate about our work, they aren't going to get us a dime. So in a sense this kind of rejection is good because it avoids a partnership that isn't going to work.
No idea what the novel is about
Writing is a journey. Whether you choose to use a map to take yours, or simply wander down this road or that to see what you find, by the time the journey ends you should be able to tell someone about it. If you don't understand, you don't remember it or you're not sure why you took the journey in the first place, this is not a time to try to sell it. Ditto for those of you who find it impossible to condense an entire journey into a couple of concise sentences. Rambling on and on in a disconnected fashion isn't going to interest anyone in taking the same journey. You have to relate what makes it worth the trip.
Querying is not a skill most of us are born with; it takes thought, practice, decision-making, concept spinning, presentation, showmanship and a lot more thought and practice. Every novel is different, so every query is new territory. The biggest favor you can do yourself is not to send out the first draft of a query you wrote in a few minutes. Set it aside. Think about it. Querying is not typing a business letter. As Janet wrote, it is HARD. And for my two cents, I think it's an art all on its own.
Look at examples of different query letters that are posted online. Read the thoughts about queries from other writers who have been able to sell a lot of books (and before you ask, mine are here and here, as well as these posts: Novel IV: Pitch, Ten Things About Novel Proposals, Queries and Synopses, and Query Nation.)
Another thing you can do is role-play with another writer or someone suitable in your family or circle of friends (and pick someone who won't kiss your backside because they love you) and have them play agent and read it. Get their reactions and think about what they tell you.
Look for rough spots in the query -- look for any place you are not writing like a professional -- and edit. Revise and rewrite. Keep at it until you have achieved the absolute best version of your query. Also, if you get any specific editorial feedback from an agent or editor who's read your query, think about that, too. They don't often have time to give us meaningful feedback, but occasionally you'll get a comment that does flag a real problem that you need to address.
In a sense, a query is like an agent all on its own: it serves as your pitchman, your sales force, your PR rep. You'd never send some smelly, lazy, loud-mouthed slob in a wrinkled suit to sell your book; don't make the mistake of mailing off the query version of that.
Let's run through the list of her reasons (quoted from her post), and I'll give you some ideas on how to tell if your query will get bounced for the same:
Thinly disguised novel that's really a memoir
Many things can trigger a novel-wrapped memoir, and writers usually go through at least one of them: a dysfunctional family, an unhappy childhood, a wretched adolescence, a lousy marriage, loss of a loved one, a career meltdown and/or a terrible divorce. So if the prominent features of your story and/or your protagonist bear a striking resemblance to you/your life, you've likely gone memoir in your novel.
There is nothing wrong with writing a memoir; I don't particularly care for them but there is a market, mainly celebrity-driven, for them. That said, a memoir is not a novel. Presenting it as a novel probably feels the same way it did to use code in your high school diary so that if your little brother snitched it from your room and picked the tiny lock he still wasn't be able to figure out who Chipmunk, Sassafrass and Mr. Whoopsie were. Don't assume the agent or the reader has to be treated like your little brother.
Recitation of events
Could your query pull double duty as a chapter summary or a synopsis of your novel? If so, you're event-reciting, not pitching. This type of play-by-play query often comes from an unwillingness or an inability on the part of the writer to condense a story into a pitch. A pitch is not a breakdown or a summary of the parts; it's a brief presentation of the whole.
Example: I could tell you I have a front end, a custom modified engine, tires, a chassis, a metallic flake scarlet paint job, a steering wheel, high-grade fuel, leather-upholstered seats, brakes, headlights, a trunk, a license plate and a rearview mirror. Or I could tell you I have a little red sportscar so fast that no cop can catch me. Now, which do you think is more interesting? Which better relates the concept of the object?
Interesting concept/query so over written it boded ill for novel
You can spot a story that suffers from over-writing (or over-workshopped writing, or over-critiqued writing) from a mile away, because by the tenth or eleventh paragraph the reader become losts in the writer's strange, complicated and mostly unidentifiable Novel LaLaLand. Same goes for the query.
I've seen a couple of these. Generally the writing is mysterious, beautiful to look at, and mainly incomprehensible; the writer tosses around enigmatic-sounding phrases like coalesced chiaroscuro conflicted characterization or denuded dichotomous delineation departure to show how well they spent a hundred grand of their parents' money on that MFA in the signature block.
No one in NY offers you a contract because no one can understand your novel, your concept, or you. Simplify, use common language, let your concept shine without loading it down with sparkles, and stop trying to outword Umberto Eco. Over-writing won't sell your book, and I think it annoys Bert.
Spent so much time telling me what the novel isn't, didn't tell me what it was:
The pitch is about your book, not about everyone else's books. An agents business is to know what's been published; they will be able to tell, right off the bat, what your novel isn't. They don't need a checklist provided upfront by you.
ewwww
Measuring the ewww-factor of your query is pretty simple: you should be able to read your query letter out loud in a crowded public place and get the people around you to listen. If instead they would throw up, run away, or have you arrested, you need to consider toning it down. Way down.
I think the author is seriously deranged
A long rant or a short manifesto presented as a novel query might make an agent think this. Common inclusions in a query that are warning signs: obvious ax-grinding, bewailing the state of the Presidency/the country/religion/sex/Publishing, insulting a majority or a minority, a laundry list of heart-breaking personal problems, emotional blackmail, the state of your finances, etc.
If you are pissed off at the world, that's okay, we all get to that place at some time or another. But a query is not a soapbox or a therapy session, so don't try to make it one. (P.S. Don't tell Janet that we're all a little deranged.)
sadly out of touch about publishing time lines
Janet explained this one better than I think I can, but here's my shot: because books take so long to get into print, you need to think ahead. If you're writing something that was popular five or ten years ago, and there are no signs of a resurgence in that popularity, you're going to come off sounding dated and out of touch. Make sure your novel has enough wow factor to be considered contemporary two years from now.
Sadly out of touch self-help book
I think this is the same as being out of touch about publishing time lines, just with a specific corner of the market. But the self-help market is like any other genre, in that it's just as subject to trends and categories and such. If I were going to write any kind of self-help, the first thing I'd do would be to extensively research the market, see what's out there and what people want to read.
Non-author submission
If you have to convince a friend in the biz to front your query, you're saying "I know the secret handshake." The problem is, there is no secret handshake.
blatant ripoff of another popular book or movie
Knockoffs are always being published, so I don't agree with this 100%, but I know a lot of writers go for writing clones instead of knockoffs. The difference between original and ripoff novels is pretty obvious, but if you're still not sure, look at it this way: Since my SF series predates James Cameron's Avatar by ten years, and has nothing to do with his movie, I am allowed to keep putting tall, exotic blue people in my books. If you want the same privilege, you'd better have a more compelling reason than you adored Avatar so much that you saw it fifty or sixty times.
Don't want to read this/cliche characters and plot
This likely comes from too many writing workshops and not enough original thinking, and the writing organizations out there who harp so much on homogenization and conformity. You can actually be brain-washed into believing that everyone wants to read Yet Another Novel about a cynical P.I., a secret baby, or a vampire brotherhood. Selling that to an agent, on the other hand, is a little tougher.
Writing is not about gaining the approval of one's peers, satisfying the Thought Police, or in any other way placating the masses. It's not something you do to fit in or make yourself look good. Writing is about setting the reader's imagination on fire; how are you going to do that by serving up something that barely registers as lukewarm in an already glutted market?
Nothing compelling or enticing about the novel
Your ability to competently put together one hundred thousand words that are spelled correctly, obey the rules of grammar and make sense does not entitle you to a publishing contract. There has to be something in all those pages that is going to provide serious competition for TV, movies, the internet, video games, sex, food and now texting. If there's not, it likely won't sell.
Nothing fresh or new with usual elements of a novel
Some people say nothing is fresh, nothing is new. And some of the time when I'm reading yet another blatant knockoff, I think they're right. But the one factor in the writing/publishing equation that is always fresh and new is you. There is only one of you. So what do you bring (or can you bring) to the novel table that no one else has?
Bad writing
No one is exempt from this, not even published writers, and I think it has several causes, like the writer's state of mind, poor editing, poor planning, stagnation, phoning it in, rushing, or just not being interested enough to present your best work. And nothing shrieks "I don't care" like bad writing.
I feel for people who have no formal writing education to speak of; I am one of you, but that didn't stop me from employing my public library card and improving my understanding of fiction, writing, and the ten thousand other things I had to learn to become a pro. And I'm sorry, but with all the free resources at hand on the internet to help you improve, polish and otherwise bring your writing up to professional level, there's simply no excuse for bad writing.
Don't want to read this
Not every agent is going to be right for you. Sometimes it's not personal or even a reflection on your work; it's a matter of an agent or editor who is a bad match for you. Remember that these people have to sell us, and if they don't feel passionate about our work, they aren't going to get us a dime. So in a sense this kind of rejection is good because it avoids a partnership that isn't going to work.
No idea what the novel is about
Writing is a journey. Whether you choose to use a map to take yours, or simply wander down this road or that to see what you find, by the time the journey ends you should be able to tell someone about it. If you don't understand, you don't remember it or you're not sure why you took the journey in the first place, this is not a time to try to sell it. Ditto for those of you who find it impossible to condense an entire journey into a couple of concise sentences. Rambling on and on in a disconnected fashion isn't going to interest anyone in taking the same journey. You have to relate what makes it worth the trip.
Querying is not a skill most of us are born with; it takes thought, practice, decision-making, concept spinning, presentation, showmanship and a lot more thought and practice. Every novel is different, so every query is new territory. The biggest favor you can do yourself is not to send out the first draft of a query you wrote in a few minutes. Set it aside. Think about it. Querying is not typing a business letter. As Janet wrote, it is HARD. And for my two cents, I think it's an art all on its own.
Look at examples of different query letters that are posted online. Read the thoughts about queries from other writers who have been able to sell a lot of books (and before you ask, mine are here and here, as well as these posts: Novel IV: Pitch, Ten Things About Novel Proposals, Queries and Synopses, and Query Nation.)
Another thing you can do is role-play with another writer or someone suitable in your family or circle of friends (and pick someone who won't kiss your backside because they love you) and have them play agent and read it. Get their reactions and think about what they tell you.
Look for rough spots in the query -- look for any place you are not writing like a professional -- and edit. Revise and rewrite. Keep at it until you have achieved the absolute best version of your query. Also, if you get any specific editorial feedback from an agent or editor who's read your query, think about that, too. They don't often have time to give us meaningful feedback, but occasionally you'll get a comment that does flag a real problem that you need to address.
In a sense, a query is like an agent all on its own: it serves as your pitchman, your sales force, your PR rep. You'd never send some smelly, lazy, loud-mouthed slob in a wrinkled suit to sell your book; don't make the mistake of mailing off the query version of that.
Friday, January 08, 2010
All About the Agents
Nathan Bransford's The Secret Year/YA Diary contest nabbed 650+ entries in just three days. Amazing. I saw a lot of great entries in comments, and I don't envy him the task of picking the winners. As the mother of two teens I did chuckle a few times over some of the entries, especially the ones with decidedly eighties overtones (uh, they don't talk like that anymore, guys.)
Agent Kate Epstein is actively looking for YA and nonfiction submissions (link found in this post by Tanya over at SFC.)
Did you know The Donald Maass Literary Agency has a page here that they update every other month with specific info on what they're looking for from potential new clients? Very helpful; I wish more agencies would do this.
Over on Pub Rants agent Kristin Nelson sounds like she's swamped but says the agency should be caught up on all the queries that came in during the holidays by next week. She also has a bit of advice for querying writers: "I’m thinking that if you sent us a query between Dec. 18 and Jan. 4 and you began your query with the words “I’m an avid reader of your blog,” it was definitely non-effective. After all, if you were an avid reader of the blog, you would have known that we were closed and not accepting queries until January." Oops.
Reason #999 to love agent Janet Reid: how quickly she breaks a New Year's resolution, and why.
Agent Kate Epstein is actively looking for YA and nonfiction submissions (link found in this post by Tanya over at SFC.)
Did you know The Donald Maass Literary Agency has a page here that they update every other month with specific info on what they're looking for from potential new clients? Very helpful; I wish more agencies would do this.
Over on Pub Rants agent Kristin Nelson sounds like she's swamped but says the agency should be caught up on all the queries that came in during the holidays by next week. She also has a bit of advice for querying writers: "I’m thinking that if you sent us a query between Dec. 18 and Jan. 4 and you began your query with the words “I’m an avid reader of your blog,” it was definitely non-effective. After all, if you were an avid reader of the blog, you would have known that we were closed and not accepting queries until January." Oops.
Reason #999 to love agent Janet Reid: how quickly she breaks a New Year's resolution, and why.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
VW #7 -- Agents and Writers
The winners of the VW#5 giveaways are:
ArtWish: Jennifer McKenzie
Goodie Bag: Cora (whose comment began with Love the analogy. My fairy godmothers don't have names, but I definitely have both of them.)
Winners, when you have a chance, please send your full name and ship-to address to LynnViehl@aol.com, and I'll get your prizes out to you. Thanks to everyone for joining in.
I. In the Biz
Imagine for a moment that you work in the Publishing industry. In this job, your livelihood depends on a couple of things: decent contracts, a healthy advance, fair percentage of sales for royalties, timely payments and building and maintaining a friendly relationship with editors and publishers.
There are also books to be written -- hopefully lots of books. You work hard to sell them, but as far as marketing and publisher support and what is done for any of your books after they're finished, you're completely dependent on the whim of the publisher. You know when you've got great work and, if your luck holds, even a potential bestseller that will generate wonderful sales.
You also have all the worry and stress and hassles involved with delivering a completed manuscript to the editor, seeing it through revisions and doing whatever you have time for to see that it launches successfully. During release week, you hold your breath, cross your fingers and watch for the first lists to see if your book made it to the top of the ranks. If it did, you feel it's all been worthwhile. If it didn't, you feel like a failure, as if you didn't do your job right.
The thing is, in this job, you're not a writer. You're a literary agent, representing dozens of writers, and that book is only one of dozens you'll handle this year.
II. The Marriage of Agent and Writer
When I was putting together this post I had kind of a rough time organizing it. I guess when I'm dealing with writing topics and exercises and stuff I can make that fit into a logical structure. When you're talking about people, however, it's hard to reduce them to numbered paragraphs and bulleted points. So I hope you all will bear with me as I go through my thoughts and overlook the times when I ramble.
I've always thought agents are a lot like spouses. When things are going well, writers routinely brag about how great their agent is, how happy they are with them, and how lucky they are to have them (and very often they'll speak of their agent the same way even if the agent hasn't done a stellar job for them, because who wants to be seen as having lousy representation?) But when things go seriously wrong, writers blame their agent and bitch endlessly about them, what a huge mistake it was to sign with them, and how much better off they'd be with another one.
A writer who comes to an unhappy split with their agent generally doesn't talk about it publicly, but in private will say plenty to their friends, along the lines of: "I finally got rid of his ass. Yeah, I can't believe I was stupid enough to stay with him all these years, the bastard. Good riddance." We rarely if ever hear how agents talk about writers after they split, but one agent friend of mine assures me that feelings on their side can be just as bitter (they're simply more discreet.)
The effort it takes to acquire a decent agent is often much like looking for a spouse. Once we've signed with our first agent, our expectations are roughly equal to how it will go with our first marriage (minus the sex, of course.) We're thrilled, nervous, terrified and paranoid. We have a lot of unrealistic expectations. We want everything to go perfectly -- and, of course, it generally doesn't.
With any agent, you can do all the checking and rechecking and verifying and obtaining of references and whatnot, but as with marriage you really don't know how the relationship will work until you've had some time together. The thing to remember is that agents gamble on us as much as we do on them, so the stress isn't all on our side. For everything you've ever said or asked or worried about an agent, they've done the same about writers.
III. Dealing with an Agent
I don't hold the world's record for sticking with a marriage -- in my youth I collected ex-husbands like other women do Beanie Babies -- but I'm definitely a veteran of the single, monogamous agent-writer relationship. It's a funny relationship, but like most it has its good and bad points, the inevitable highs and lows. Naturally not all agent-writer relationships run the same way, and I will say upfront that everything I state is based on my personal experiences and what I've learned from working with the same agent for the entire length of my professional career, and from friendships with a couple of other agents in the biz.
My agent and I have been working together for almost eleven years now. Sometimes when things are going especially well for me, I think I should celebrate by sending her a gift on the day I signed with her (the traditional gift for this year's anniversary, appropriately enough, is steel.) I don't actually do that, but at regular intervals (usually during the holidays) I try to remind my agent that I do appreciate the work she does on my behalf.
We've also have our problems, and they've also had a long-term effect on our relationship. There have only been three times in the last eleven years that I've considered ending my relationship with my agent. Without getting into the gory details or naming names, after I cooled off, calmed down and looked at the situation objectively I always found a reason to stick with her and weather the storm (not as easy as it sounds; once that took the better part of a year.) Interestingly enough, all three times I nearly split with my agent were over problems instigated by someone outside our relationship, and twice it was the same person.
Anyway, those are the two extremes of the agent-writer relationship, and if you stay with an agent long enough, you'll probably experience both. I can't speak for my agent, but knowing how stubborn, opinionated and control-freakish I am as a client, I can almost guarantee you that she's felt the same way about me. Yet somehow each time these and other, more minor crises come up, we've muddled through them -- not always to my liking or hers, but to a point where we could compromise, get on with it, and continue to work together.
I've been courted by plenty of other agents -- one just tried to romance me last week -- but there is a promise I made to myself and my agent a couple of years ago, during what was probably the worst time in my relationship with my agent. I told her that if for whatever reason she stops being my agent, I would not sign with anyone else; I'd just do it myself. Honestly, I wouldn't want to go through this again with anyone. So I have twice as much reason to make my agent-writer relationship work, because if she goes, I'm flying solo from then on.
IV. Establishing Boundaries
I think in general writers regularly expect too much out of their agents, and I'm not sure why this happens. It might be a kind of weird transference that happens when a writer turns pro. You can see this in action whenever many writers get mad at their publisher or something their publisher does. The angry/upset writer hardly ever blames the publisher for the problem. Instead they blame their agent. If agents ran publishing, I'd agree with this, but they don't. They are as much at the mercy of the publisher as we are. We have to maintain a working relationship with our publisher for the sake of our careers. Multiply that by twenty or thirty clients, and you'll understand what the agent also has at stake.
I also think agents regularly expect too much out of their writers as well, chiefly in the crap we're expected to take from publishers and likewise the phony gratitude and ass-kissing department. I know agents overestimate our capacity to stoically withstand and forgive things like an abusive editor, a broken verbal agreement, a botched production and other such "shut up and take it" situations. Expecting us to keep quiet about it is one thing; expecting us to be cheerful and friendly to and only speak well of the people who do this to us year after year is another. For agents it's a business deal, and all they really have at stake is income. For us it's our dream, and when that's shattered, it's very hard to pick up the pieces and behave as if nothing happened.
I don't know how to solve the problems on either side, but I do think from the beginning writers and agents need to establish boundaries in their relationship to keep it workable. Maybe if boundaries were the first thing that agents and writers discussed they might stay together longer.
I've never depended on my agent for emotional support; I like her well enough but I don't consider her a personal friend. I don't consider it necessary to attend any events that she does or be friendly with her friends in the business. I don't ask for her opinion very often, but when I do it's strictly related to contract offers or submissions. I don't invite her to my home or involve her in my family activities. When I'm in New York I don't go to her office or call her (this is mainly so I don't get sucked into going to meet my editors, which for the most part I have successfully avoided for eleven years.)
I do try to stay out of my agent's hair. I don't harass her assistant, or leave nuisance messages, or otherwise waste her or her peoples' time. I don't call her at the office at all unless it's absolutely necessary that we talk (generally about something I don't want to put in writing.) She's given me her mobile number a couple dozen times, but I've never called it unless she's given me specific instructions to do so. We communicate chiefly through e-mail, and while it sounds cold and distant, I think it's a nice buffer for both sides and gives us time to think about things before we respond, which frankly sometimes we both need.
The clear boundaries are really important, I think, because we know where they are and how we can operate inside them. It's not the agent-writer relationship I envisioned as a rookie, but it's the relationship we've worked out over the years. For me it's this or nothing, and that does tend to put things in perspective very fast.
V. The Ying and Yang of the Agent-Writer Relationship
Here is the basic definition of the agent-writer relationship: your agent is your literary representative in the business side of Publishing, and negotiates any business with publishers on your behalf according to your wishes. In return for that representation, you pay your agent a guaranteed percentage of whatever they sell for you for as long as it sells.
The details of what is involved in this relationship vary according to writer and agent, but here are my thoughts on how both should handle certain common areas:
Sales: Your agent should always strive to get you the best possible deal with any publisher and steer you away from bad deals. You should communicate clearly to your agent in advance of any negotiations what you would like to get out of the deal as well as specific points on which you're willing or not willing to compromise on.
Contracts: Your agent should read your contract thoroughly and point out any undesirable terms. You should read every word of your contract to recheck it for any undesirable terms. Your agent should never pressure you into signing a contract that doesn't suit you. You should never sign a contract that doesn't suit you unless you are 100% willing to accept the terms and take full responsibility for agreeing to them.
Goals: Your agent needs to know what you want to do with your career, and should communicate that clearly to your publisher. You need to make those decisions and communicate them clearly to your agent regularly, especially when your goals change.
Personal Life: Ideally your agent should not involve you in their personal life. Likewise, you should not involve them in yours. If you do develop a friendship with your agent, it needs to be one you have outside the agent-writer relationship, and neither of you should bring it into play when having business discussions or making career decisions.
Finances: Your agent must be financial responsible to you and act as your representative when dealing with publishers who owe you money, and if they are paid first they need to send you your portion in a timely manner. You are not your agent's ATM card. You need to keep track of payments you're owed, communicate any delay in payments to your agent, and keep your books up to date. You should also keep your finances in order and not depend on your agent to constantly advance you money they haven't received or otherwise bail you out. Your agent is also not your ATM card.
Contacts: Your agent should never try to pressure you into promoting, blurbing or otherwise assisting another client of theirs. You should never try to use your agent to obtain promotion, blurbs or other assistance from another client of theirs.
Honesty: You and your agent should never lie to one another. If you catch your agent in a lie, or for some reason they confess that they've lied to you, you can no longer trust them with sensitive information. The same goes for you if you lie to them.
Problems: Agents should tell you when for whatever reason they have a serious problem with you. Likewise you should confront them about any serious problems you have with them. It's best if both sides wait to do this when they don't feel like shouting, writing impolitic e-mails, or leaving nasty messages on voice mail. However, if either side expresses anger inappropriately, it's best to confront that and the problem as soon as possible.
VI. Final Thoughts.
Your expectations about your agent are your own business, but the more realistic you are, the better equipped you'll be to have a successful relationship. I think one of the most important things to remember is that it is impossible for an agent to rep only one writer (imagine trying to live off 15% of what you currently earn -- that's what one writer represents in income for their agent), so to expect them to focus on you and your books and your career 24/7 is not only ridiculous, it's unfair.
There are some hard facts about agents that you have to accept. An agent's relationship with any publisher, for example, takes priority over their relationship with you. If the agent is forced to choose between you, chances are they are going to side with the publisher (unless you're Stephenie Meyer, in which case Little,Brown is going down.)
Agents learn early on how to talk to writers and say the things we want to hear in order to motivate us. They are by nature salespeople and sell to us as much as to the publishers. It doesn't mean they're insincere -- I believe most agents are basically honest and do care about their clients -- but after you've been with an agent for a time you'll start recognizing their pitches and pep talks. They only have so many of them that they use, and most they recycle, so be nice and don't say anything snide.
You have to be worth an agent's time, which means you have to bring enough to the table to warrant their attention and/or earn enough to make that agent worry about losing you. The most attention you'll get from an agent is at two crucial stages of the game: in the beginning of your career, when as a writer you are most vulnerable professionally, and when any offer comes in (because until you accept the offer, the agent doesn't make any money, and that portion of their income is dependent on your decision.)
An agent is happiest with a writer when you accept a lucrative deal. If you want to change something in your relationship, this is the time to strike, when they're feeling very good about you.
Agents will by necessity not tell you everything. If your editor says anything nasty about you, an agent usually won't repeat it. But that works both ways; when you rant about what a stupid bitch your editor is, your agent won't repeat that. An agent who does repeat unsavory things to you is probably doing the same to your editor.
Agents come to know our enemies and the people we dislike, and will pass along little unsavory but essentially harmless anecdotes about them or agree with us when we talk trash so that we think they're on our side. In reality an agent is on no one's side but their own, and if your worst enemy came to them with a decent deal, they'd treat them as nicely as they do you.
There's one more point I'd like to touch on, and it's the frequent accusations writers make of agents as the root of all their career woes. It usually goes something like this: "My agent isn't selling me to the right publishers" or "My agent doesn't care if I'm successful" or even "I'd be a big name now if my agent hadn't sat on books and did nothing for them."
Agents are people, and granted, people make mistakes. Sometimes they make bad decisions, or offer advice that doesn't work. I'm sure some agents out there are lazy, overloaded or don't have the right contacts. At times some agents can be manipulated by editors into working against their writer's best interests. But to hold the agent solely responsible for your career woes is completely passing the buck. No one held a gun to your head and made you sign a contract with the wrong publisher. Your agent is not the chief navigator of your success in the biz; you're supposed to be in charge of that. And most of all, I can tell you with almost 100% certainty that your agent is not conspiring with anyone else to ruin your career or your life.
The best relationship between a writer and agent is a symbiotic one -- both sides working toward obtaining mutual benefits. If you don't sell, the agent doesn't collect a commission, so their primary concern is your income. And since you pay them to help you obtain the best deal you can get, that's exactly as it should be.
VII. Related Links:
My agent is Ms. Robin Rue of Writers House in New York. If you'd like to submit to her or any of the other literary agents at Writers House, their submissions guidelines page is here.
Hopefully she never runs away and joins the circus: 20 Questions Answered by Literary Agent Janet Reid.
If you're shopping for an agent, make sure the ones you are considering belong to AAR ~ The Association of Authors' Representatives, Inc. which requires their members to adhere to a canon of ethics.
Author Charlotte Dillon has a bunch of great links about agents on her Publishers & Agents page.
If you don't have an agent, get some tips on landing one with KC Morgan's article Find a Literary Agent and Get Published ~ Tips and Advice for Getting Your Book Noticed.
Jim Munroe flies solo in his article How to Get a Book Deal Without an Agent
Jennifer Reed explores the why of agents in her article How To Decide If You Need a Literary Agent ~ And How to Find a Literary Agent
Today's LB&LI giveaways are:
1) A signed set of all seven of my Darkyn novels, including an author-printed copy of my December novella e-book, Master of Shadows and an ARC of my first Kyndred novel, Shadowlight, which will not be released until October '09.
2) a goodie bag which will include unsigned new copies of:
Deadlock by Iris Johansen (hardcover)
Strange Brew edited by P.N. Elrod (trade pb)
Author 101 ~ Bestselling Secrets from Top Agents ~ The Insider's Guide to What Agents and Publishers Really Want by Rick Frishman and Robyn Freedman Spizman (trade pb)
The Pajama Girls of Lambert Square by Rosina Lippi (trade pb)
Bullies, Bastards & Bitches ~ How to Write the Bad Guys of Fiction by Jessica Page Morrell (trade pb)
Animal Attraction by Charlene Teglia (trade pb)
Primal Male by Sasha White (trade pb)
Taken by Sin by Jaci Burton (paperback)
Temptation and Lies by Donna Hill (paperback)
Hawkspar by Holly Lisle (paperback)
The Iron Hunt and Darkness Calls by Marjorie M. Liu (paperbacks)
Kitty and the Midnight Hour, Kitty Goes to Washington, Kitty Takes a Holiday, Kitty and the Silver Bullet, and Kitty and the Dead Man's Hand by Carrie Vaughn (paperbacks)
plus signed paperback copies of my novels StarDoc and Evermore, as well as some other surprises.
If you'd like to win one of these two giveaways, name a genre you'd like to write in, or comment on this workshop before midnight EST on Monday, July 20, 2009. I will draw two names from everyone who participates and send one winner the signed set of Darkyn novels and the other the goodie bag.
Everyone who participates in the giveaways this week will also be automatically entered in my grand prize drawing on July 21st, 2009 for the winner's choice of either a ASUS Eee PC 1005HA-P 10.1" Seashell Netbook or a Sony PRS-700BC Digital Reader.
As always, all LB&LI giveaways are open to anyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.
Other LB&LI Workshop Links -- new links are being added every day, so keep checking the list for new workshops (due to different time zones, some of these will go live later in the day):
E-publishing: From Query to Final Edits and Beyond -- Authors Madison Blake, Paris Brandon, Cerise Deland, Fran Lee, Afton Locke and Nina Pierce provide helpful insights and tips on e-publishing. Today's author: Fran Lee
Writing Transformative Sex - Part Two by Joely Sue Burkhart -- So you know you want to avoid Plot Interrupted and Tab A/Slot B mechanics, but how do you get “down and dirty” into the emotions of a really deep sex scene?
Bird Migration by Suelder -- third in a series of workshops on birds that will focus on the science as well as how to adapt this information to writing.
Why You're Not Writing by JM Fiction Scribe -- Examining the reasons behind your writing block - because the identifying the 'why' of the problem is the best way of getting past it.
How-To Books that Saved My Life by Alison Kent -- a look at the three how-to books the author can't write without, and why.
Break through your fears and write! by Tamlyn Leigh -- One of the biggest obstacles on a writer's path is their fear. It can be for anything: fear people won't like their stories, fear they aren't good enough. In my workshop I want to offer tools to break through that fear, and get everyone writing!
Writing Prompt Series by Rosina Lippi -- catch up day.
Writing in the Labyrinth by Marjorie M. Liu -- first in a series of workshops about different aspects of writing and publishing.
From Pantser To Plotter: How I Joined The Dark Side by Kait Nolan -- five workshops on the transformation of a pantser to a plotter.
Writing Sex Scenes That Matter by Jenna Reynolds -- Readers sometimes say they skip over the sex scenes in a book. And usually it's not because they have a problem with the sex. It could, however, be because, other than the sex, nothing else is going on. This workshop provides some suggestions on how to write sex scenes that matter and that readers won't skip over.
Defining the Basics by Midnight Spencer –– Query, Cover letter, Blurb, Synopsis, ms or mss, SASE, SAE, Copyright, Electronic Rights, Electronic Submissions, Erotica (some people do not know that romance and erotica are two different types of writing), Genre, Hook, Pen Name, Proof Reading, Fair Use, Joint Contract,
Left Behind in Interesting Times by Charlene Teglia -- e-publishing in interesting times.
Epubs-wondering where to start? by Shiloh Walker -- Info for those curious about epubs and where to start.
Killer Campaigns: Volunteerism by Maria Zannini -- Passive promotion at its best
ArtWish: Jennifer McKenzie
Goodie Bag: Cora (whose comment began with Love the analogy. My fairy godmothers don't have names, but I definitely have both of them.)
Winners, when you have a chance, please send your full name and ship-to address to LynnViehl@aol.com, and I'll get your prizes out to you. Thanks to everyone for joining in.
I. In the Biz
Imagine for a moment that you work in the Publishing industry. In this job, your livelihood depends on a couple of things: decent contracts, a healthy advance, fair percentage of sales for royalties, timely payments and building and maintaining a friendly relationship with editors and publishers.
There are also books to be written -- hopefully lots of books. You work hard to sell them, but as far as marketing and publisher support and what is done for any of your books after they're finished, you're completely dependent on the whim of the publisher. You know when you've got great work and, if your luck holds, even a potential bestseller that will generate wonderful sales.
You also have all the worry and stress and hassles involved with delivering a completed manuscript to the editor, seeing it through revisions and doing whatever you have time for to see that it launches successfully. During release week, you hold your breath, cross your fingers and watch for the first lists to see if your book made it to the top of the ranks. If it did, you feel it's all been worthwhile. If it didn't, you feel like a failure, as if you didn't do your job right.
The thing is, in this job, you're not a writer. You're a literary agent, representing dozens of writers, and that book is only one of dozens you'll handle this year.
II. The Marriage of Agent and Writer
When I was putting together this post I had kind of a rough time organizing it. I guess when I'm dealing with writing topics and exercises and stuff I can make that fit into a logical structure. When you're talking about people, however, it's hard to reduce them to numbered paragraphs and bulleted points. So I hope you all will bear with me as I go through my thoughts and overlook the times when I ramble.
I've always thought agents are a lot like spouses. When things are going well, writers routinely brag about how great their agent is, how happy they are with them, and how lucky they are to have them (and very often they'll speak of their agent the same way even if the agent hasn't done a stellar job for them, because who wants to be seen as having lousy representation?) But when things go seriously wrong, writers blame their agent and bitch endlessly about them, what a huge mistake it was to sign with them, and how much better off they'd be with another one.
A writer who comes to an unhappy split with their agent generally doesn't talk about it publicly, but in private will say plenty to their friends, along the lines of: "I finally got rid of his ass. Yeah, I can't believe I was stupid enough to stay with him all these years, the bastard. Good riddance." We rarely if ever hear how agents talk about writers after they split, but one agent friend of mine assures me that feelings on their side can be just as bitter (they're simply more discreet.)
The effort it takes to acquire a decent agent is often much like looking for a spouse. Once we've signed with our first agent, our expectations are roughly equal to how it will go with our first marriage (minus the sex, of course.) We're thrilled, nervous, terrified and paranoid. We have a lot of unrealistic expectations. We want everything to go perfectly -- and, of course, it generally doesn't.
With any agent, you can do all the checking and rechecking and verifying and obtaining of references and whatnot, but as with marriage you really don't know how the relationship will work until you've had some time together. The thing to remember is that agents gamble on us as much as we do on them, so the stress isn't all on our side. For everything you've ever said or asked or worried about an agent, they've done the same about writers.
III. Dealing with an Agent
I don't hold the world's record for sticking with a marriage -- in my youth I collected ex-husbands like other women do Beanie Babies -- but I'm definitely a veteran of the single, monogamous agent-writer relationship. It's a funny relationship, but like most it has its good and bad points, the inevitable highs and lows. Naturally not all agent-writer relationships run the same way, and I will say upfront that everything I state is based on my personal experiences and what I've learned from working with the same agent for the entire length of my professional career, and from friendships with a couple of other agents in the biz.
My agent and I have been working together for almost eleven years now. Sometimes when things are going especially well for me, I think I should celebrate by sending her a gift on the day I signed with her (the traditional gift for this year's anniversary, appropriately enough, is steel.) I don't actually do that, but at regular intervals (usually during the holidays) I try to remind my agent that I do appreciate the work she does on my behalf.
We've also have our problems, and they've also had a long-term effect on our relationship. There have only been three times in the last eleven years that I've considered ending my relationship with my agent. Without getting into the gory details or naming names, after I cooled off, calmed down and looked at the situation objectively I always found a reason to stick with her and weather the storm (not as easy as it sounds; once that took the better part of a year.) Interestingly enough, all three times I nearly split with my agent were over problems instigated by someone outside our relationship, and twice it was the same person.
Anyway, those are the two extremes of the agent-writer relationship, and if you stay with an agent long enough, you'll probably experience both. I can't speak for my agent, but knowing how stubborn, opinionated and control-freakish I am as a client, I can almost guarantee you that she's felt the same way about me. Yet somehow each time these and other, more minor crises come up, we've muddled through them -- not always to my liking or hers, but to a point where we could compromise, get on with it, and continue to work together.
I've been courted by plenty of other agents -- one just tried to romance me last week -- but there is a promise I made to myself and my agent a couple of years ago, during what was probably the worst time in my relationship with my agent. I told her that if for whatever reason she stops being my agent, I would not sign with anyone else; I'd just do it myself. Honestly, I wouldn't want to go through this again with anyone. So I have twice as much reason to make my agent-writer relationship work, because if she goes, I'm flying solo from then on.
IV. Establishing Boundaries
I think in general writers regularly expect too much out of their agents, and I'm not sure why this happens. It might be a kind of weird transference that happens when a writer turns pro. You can see this in action whenever many writers get mad at their publisher or something their publisher does. The angry/upset writer hardly ever blames the publisher for the problem. Instead they blame their agent. If agents ran publishing, I'd agree with this, but they don't. They are as much at the mercy of the publisher as we are. We have to maintain a working relationship with our publisher for the sake of our careers. Multiply that by twenty or thirty clients, and you'll understand what the agent also has at stake.
I also think agents regularly expect too much out of their writers as well, chiefly in the crap we're expected to take from publishers and likewise the phony gratitude and ass-kissing department. I know agents overestimate our capacity to stoically withstand and forgive things like an abusive editor, a broken verbal agreement, a botched production and other such "shut up and take it" situations. Expecting us to keep quiet about it is one thing; expecting us to be cheerful and friendly to and only speak well of the people who do this to us year after year is another. For agents it's a business deal, and all they really have at stake is income. For us it's our dream, and when that's shattered, it's very hard to pick up the pieces and behave as if nothing happened.
I don't know how to solve the problems on either side, but I do think from the beginning writers and agents need to establish boundaries in their relationship to keep it workable. Maybe if boundaries were the first thing that agents and writers discussed they might stay together longer.
I've never depended on my agent for emotional support; I like her well enough but I don't consider her a personal friend. I don't consider it necessary to attend any events that she does or be friendly with her friends in the business. I don't ask for her opinion very often, but when I do it's strictly related to contract offers or submissions. I don't invite her to my home or involve her in my family activities. When I'm in New York I don't go to her office or call her (this is mainly so I don't get sucked into going to meet my editors, which for the most part I have successfully avoided for eleven years.)
I do try to stay out of my agent's hair. I don't harass her assistant, or leave nuisance messages, or otherwise waste her or her peoples' time. I don't call her at the office at all unless it's absolutely necessary that we talk (generally about something I don't want to put in writing.) She's given me her mobile number a couple dozen times, but I've never called it unless she's given me specific instructions to do so. We communicate chiefly through e-mail, and while it sounds cold and distant, I think it's a nice buffer for both sides and gives us time to think about things before we respond, which frankly sometimes we both need.
The clear boundaries are really important, I think, because we know where they are and how we can operate inside them. It's not the agent-writer relationship I envisioned as a rookie, but it's the relationship we've worked out over the years. For me it's this or nothing, and that does tend to put things in perspective very fast.
V. The Ying and Yang of the Agent-Writer Relationship
Here is the basic definition of the agent-writer relationship: your agent is your literary representative in the business side of Publishing, and negotiates any business with publishers on your behalf according to your wishes. In return for that representation, you pay your agent a guaranteed percentage of whatever they sell for you for as long as it sells.
The details of what is involved in this relationship vary according to writer and agent, but here are my thoughts on how both should handle certain common areas:
Sales: Your agent should always strive to get you the best possible deal with any publisher and steer you away from bad deals. You should communicate clearly to your agent in advance of any negotiations what you would like to get out of the deal as well as specific points on which you're willing or not willing to compromise on.
Contracts: Your agent should read your contract thoroughly and point out any undesirable terms. You should read every word of your contract to recheck it for any undesirable terms. Your agent should never pressure you into signing a contract that doesn't suit you. You should never sign a contract that doesn't suit you unless you are 100% willing to accept the terms and take full responsibility for agreeing to them.
Goals: Your agent needs to know what you want to do with your career, and should communicate that clearly to your publisher. You need to make those decisions and communicate them clearly to your agent regularly, especially when your goals change.
Personal Life: Ideally your agent should not involve you in their personal life. Likewise, you should not involve them in yours. If you do develop a friendship with your agent, it needs to be one you have outside the agent-writer relationship, and neither of you should bring it into play when having business discussions or making career decisions.
Finances: Your agent must be financial responsible to you and act as your representative when dealing with publishers who owe you money, and if they are paid first they need to send you your portion in a timely manner. You are not your agent's ATM card. You need to keep track of payments you're owed, communicate any delay in payments to your agent, and keep your books up to date. You should also keep your finances in order and not depend on your agent to constantly advance you money they haven't received or otherwise bail you out. Your agent is also not your ATM card.
Contacts: Your agent should never try to pressure you into promoting, blurbing or otherwise assisting another client of theirs. You should never try to use your agent to obtain promotion, blurbs or other assistance from another client of theirs.
Honesty: You and your agent should never lie to one another. If you catch your agent in a lie, or for some reason they confess that they've lied to you, you can no longer trust them with sensitive information. The same goes for you if you lie to them.
Problems: Agents should tell you when for whatever reason they have a serious problem with you. Likewise you should confront them about any serious problems you have with them. It's best if both sides wait to do this when they don't feel like shouting, writing impolitic e-mails, or leaving nasty messages on voice mail. However, if either side expresses anger inappropriately, it's best to confront that and the problem as soon as possible.
VI. Final Thoughts.
Your expectations about your agent are your own business, but the more realistic you are, the better equipped you'll be to have a successful relationship. I think one of the most important things to remember is that it is impossible for an agent to rep only one writer (imagine trying to live off 15% of what you currently earn -- that's what one writer represents in income for their agent), so to expect them to focus on you and your books and your career 24/7 is not only ridiculous, it's unfair.
There are some hard facts about agents that you have to accept. An agent's relationship with any publisher, for example, takes priority over their relationship with you. If the agent is forced to choose between you, chances are they are going to side with the publisher (unless you're Stephenie Meyer, in which case Little,Brown is going down.)
Agents learn early on how to talk to writers and say the things we want to hear in order to motivate us. They are by nature salespeople and sell to us as much as to the publishers. It doesn't mean they're insincere -- I believe most agents are basically honest and do care about their clients -- but after you've been with an agent for a time you'll start recognizing their pitches and pep talks. They only have so many of them that they use, and most they recycle, so be nice and don't say anything snide.
You have to be worth an agent's time, which means you have to bring enough to the table to warrant their attention and/or earn enough to make that agent worry about losing you. The most attention you'll get from an agent is at two crucial stages of the game: in the beginning of your career, when as a writer you are most vulnerable professionally, and when any offer comes in (because until you accept the offer, the agent doesn't make any money, and that portion of their income is dependent on your decision.)
An agent is happiest with a writer when you accept a lucrative deal. If you want to change something in your relationship, this is the time to strike, when they're feeling very good about you.
Agents will by necessity not tell you everything. If your editor says anything nasty about you, an agent usually won't repeat it. But that works both ways; when you rant about what a stupid bitch your editor is, your agent won't repeat that. An agent who does repeat unsavory things to you is probably doing the same to your editor.
Agents come to know our enemies and the people we dislike, and will pass along little unsavory but essentially harmless anecdotes about them or agree with us when we talk trash so that we think they're on our side. In reality an agent is on no one's side but their own, and if your worst enemy came to them with a decent deal, they'd treat them as nicely as they do you.
There's one more point I'd like to touch on, and it's the frequent accusations writers make of agents as the root of all their career woes. It usually goes something like this: "My agent isn't selling me to the right publishers" or "My agent doesn't care if I'm successful" or even "I'd be a big name now if my agent hadn't sat on books and did nothing for them."
Agents are people, and granted, people make mistakes. Sometimes they make bad decisions, or offer advice that doesn't work. I'm sure some agents out there are lazy, overloaded or don't have the right contacts. At times some agents can be manipulated by editors into working against their writer's best interests. But to hold the agent solely responsible for your career woes is completely passing the buck. No one held a gun to your head and made you sign a contract with the wrong publisher. Your agent is not the chief navigator of your success in the biz; you're supposed to be in charge of that. And most of all, I can tell you with almost 100% certainty that your agent is not conspiring with anyone else to ruin your career or your life.
The best relationship between a writer and agent is a symbiotic one -- both sides working toward obtaining mutual benefits. If you don't sell, the agent doesn't collect a commission, so their primary concern is your income. And since you pay them to help you obtain the best deal you can get, that's exactly as it should be.
VII. Related Links:
My agent is Ms. Robin Rue of Writers House in New York. If you'd like to submit to her or any of the other literary agents at Writers House, their submissions guidelines page is here.
Hopefully she never runs away and joins the circus: 20 Questions Answered by Literary Agent Janet Reid.
If you're shopping for an agent, make sure the ones you are considering belong to AAR ~ The Association of Authors' Representatives, Inc. which requires their members to adhere to a canon of ethics.
Author Charlotte Dillon has a bunch of great links about agents on her Publishers & Agents page.
If you don't have an agent, get some tips on landing one with KC Morgan's article Find a Literary Agent and Get Published ~ Tips and Advice for Getting Your Book Noticed.
Jim Munroe flies solo in his article How to Get a Book Deal Without an Agent
Jennifer Reed explores the why of agents in her article How To Decide If You Need a Literary Agent ~ And How to Find a Literary Agent
Today's LB&LI giveaways are:
1) A signed set of all seven of my Darkyn novels, including an author-printed copy of my December novella e-book, Master of Shadows and an ARC of my first Kyndred novel, Shadowlight, which will not be released until October '09.
2) a goodie bag which will include unsigned new copies of:
Deadlock by Iris Johansen (hardcover)
Strange Brew edited by P.N. Elrod (trade pb)
Author 101 ~ Bestselling Secrets from Top Agents ~ The Insider's Guide to What Agents and Publishers Really Want by Rick Frishman and Robyn Freedman Spizman (trade pb)
The Pajama Girls of Lambert Square by Rosina Lippi (trade pb)
Bullies, Bastards & Bitches ~ How to Write the Bad Guys of Fiction by Jessica Page Morrell (trade pb)
Animal Attraction by Charlene Teglia (trade pb)
Primal Male by Sasha White (trade pb)
Taken by Sin by Jaci Burton (paperback)
Temptation and Lies by Donna Hill (paperback)
Hawkspar by Holly Lisle (paperback)
The Iron Hunt and Darkness Calls by Marjorie M. Liu (paperbacks)
Kitty and the Midnight Hour, Kitty Goes to Washington, Kitty Takes a Holiday, Kitty and the Silver Bullet, and Kitty and the Dead Man's Hand by Carrie Vaughn (paperbacks)
plus signed paperback copies of my novels StarDoc and Evermore, as well as some other surprises.
If you'd like to win one of these two giveaways, name a genre you'd like to write in, or comment on this workshop before midnight EST on Monday, July 20, 2009. I will draw two names from everyone who participates and send one winner the signed set of Darkyn novels and the other the goodie bag.
Everyone who participates in the giveaways this week will also be automatically entered in my grand prize drawing on July 21st, 2009 for the winner's choice of either a ASUS Eee PC 1005HA-P 10.1" Seashell Netbook or a Sony PRS-700BC Digital Reader.
As always, all LB&LI giveaways are open to anyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.
Other LB&LI Workshop Links -- new links are being added every day, so keep checking the list for new workshops (due to different time zones, some of these will go live later in the day):
E-publishing: From Query to Final Edits and Beyond -- Authors Madison Blake, Paris Brandon, Cerise Deland, Fran Lee, Afton Locke and Nina Pierce provide helpful insights and tips on e-publishing. Today's author: Fran Lee
Writing Transformative Sex - Part Two by Joely Sue Burkhart -- So you know you want to avoid Plot Interrupted and Tab A/Slot B mechanics, but how do you get “down and dirty” into the emotions of a really deep sex scene?
Bird Migration by Suelder -- third in a series of workshops on birds that will focus on the science as well as how to adapt this information to writing.
Why You're Not Writing by JM Fiction Scribe -- Examining the reasons behind your writing block - because the identifying the 'why' of the problem is the best way of getting past it.
How-To Books that Saved My Life by Alison Kent -- a look at the three how-to books the author can't write without, and why.
Break through your fears and write! by Tamlyn Leigh -- One of the biggest obstacles on a writer's path is their fear. It can be for anything: fear people won't like their stories, fear they aren't good enough. In my workshop I want to offer tools to break through that fear, and get everyone writing!
Writing Prompt Series by Rosina Lippi -- catch up day.
Writing in the Labyrinth by Marjorie M. Liu -- first in a series of workshops about different aspects of writing and publishing.
From Pantser To Plotter: How I Joined The Dark Side by Kait Nolan -- five workshops on the transformation of a pantser to a plotter.
Writing Sex Scenes That Matter by Jenna Reynolds -- Readers sometimes say they skip over the sex scenes in a book. And usually it's not because they have a problem with the sex. It could, however, be because, other than the sex, nothing else is going on. This workshop provides some suggestions on how to write sex scenes that matter and that readers won't skip over.
Defining the Basics by Midnight Spencer –– Query, Cover letter, Blurb, Synopsis, ms or mss, SASE, SAE, Copyright, Electronic Rights, Electronic Submissions, Erotica (some people do not know that romance and erotica are two different types of writing), Genre, Hook, Pen Name, Proof Reading, Fair Use, Joint Contract,
Left Behind in Interesting Times by Charlene Teglia -- e-publishing in interesting times.
Epubs-wondering where to start? by Shiloh Walker -- Info for those curious about epubs and where to start.
Killer Campaigns: Volunteerism by Maria Zannini -- Passive promotion at its best
Monday, February 02, 2009
Agents In the Trades
The February 2009 issue of The Writer magazine has a couple of very useful features this month: 53 detailed listings for agents, including contact info and what they're looking for in submissions (if you're shopping for an agent, this alone makes it worth the cover price.) There's a mini-interview with my agent, Robin Rue of Writer's House, included in the section. They've also interviewed five agents and asked them for advice on what they think writers can do to succeed in a tough market (like it was ever easy.) Kelly James-Enger has an excellent article on blogging for bucks that explains a couple of ways to break into the online market, and Deborah Niemann-Boehle has a short article with valuable tips on how to become a stringer for your local newspaper.
I've always liked The Writer even when they fly off into WriterLaLaLand, but in this issue they've really shown a committment to addressing more of the issues working writers have. I hope this trend continues.
In the Jan/Feb 09 issue of Poets & Writers, Jodie Ferrari-Adler talked with four young literary agents: Julie Barer, Jeff Kleinman, Renee Zuckerbrot and Daniel Lazar (Daniel is also with Writers House; he's the handsome guy in the center on the front cover pic) about the writing they want to see, where they're finding it, what they love, hate, and ten things writers should never do. But even if you don't want to hear what agents say after they've been wined and dined, about half of P&W is devoted to grants & awards and market listings, which they feature every month.
P&W is definitely geared more toward the literary writer, and I doubt that will change, but they're classy and informative, something you usually don't find at that end of the market. I think they also offer more market, grant and awards listings than any of the other trades.
I'm going to send my copies of both issues to one of you guys; in comments to this post name something related to writing or publishing that you'd like to read about or find more information on (or if you can't think of something, just toss your name in the hat) by midnight EST on Tuesday, February 3, 2009. I'll draw one name from everyone who participates and send the winner both magazines (read once by me) as well as a surprise. This giveaway is open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.
I've always liked The Writer even when they fly off into WriterLaLaLand, but in this issue they've really shown a committment to addressing more of the issues working writers have. I hope this trend continues.
In the Jan/Feb 09 issue of Poets & Writers, Jodie Ferrari-Adler talked with four young literary agents: Julie Barer, Jeff Kleinman, Renee Zuckerbrot and Daniel Lazar (Daniel is also with Writers House; he's the handsome guy in the center on the front cover pic) about the writing they want to see, where they're finding it, what they love, hate, and ten things writers should never do. But even if you don't want to hear what agents say after they've been wined and dined, about half of P&W is devoted to grants & awards and market listings, which they feature every month.
P&W is definitely geared more toward the literary writer, and I doubt that will change, but they're classy and informative, something you usually don't find at that end of the market. I think they also offer more market, grant and awards listings than any of the other trades.
I'm going to send my copies of both issues to one of you guys; in comments to this post name something related to writing or publishing that you'd like to read about or find more information on (or if you can't think of something, just toss your name in the hat) by midnight EST on Tuesday, February 3, 2009. I'll draw one name from everyone who participates and send the winner both magazines (read once by me) as well as a surprise. This giveaway is open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Looking for Mr. GoodRep
At Queries nightclub, people on the prowl packed the place from the bouncer's station to the bathroom doors, so it took Harrison Hotdeals some time to work his way toward his reserved barstool. Lucky, the cocktail-slinger/wannbe screenplay writer behind the bar, served up a frozen strawberry Margarita and a cheeky grin.
"Haven't seen you around here lately, big guy," Lucky said. "Spending all your time at the negotiating tables?"
"You know it." Harry scanned the crowd. "God, what a mob. Everyone's dressed like extras from The Matrix. What is it, Sci-fi Saturday?"
Lucky shook his head. "New Genre Trend Night. Everyone's heavy on the Future Gothwear. Happy Wallpaper Historical Hour starts in about ten minutes, though. Two for one Virgin Mary Sues."
"You're HotWheels Harry, aren't you?" a shrill young thang shouted into Harry's right ear as she moved into the empty space next to his barstool.
They never got his name right. "Harrison Hotdeals," Harry said politely. "And you are. . . ?"
"The next Laurell K. Hamilton." She dropped an eight-pound manuscript on the bar in front of him. "I'm going to do you a huge personal favor and tell you all about my baby. It's erotic, fresh, hip, now, and the best thing you'll ever put your hands on for the rest of your life. Maybe, if you're really nice to me, I might even let you, you know." She winked. "Personally rep me."
As she blathered on, Harry quickly emptied his Margarita glass. When Lucky glanced his way, he pointed to the glass and held up one finger.
"Hey." Shrill young thang elbowed him. "I just told you about the greatest rubber diaper love scene in the history of fiction, and you don't say anything nice or buy me a drink? What kind of guy are you?"
"Excuse me." A pale man dressed in cyberpunk black grabbed the next Laurell K. Hamilton by her dark curly hair extensions and yanked her out of his way. He picked up her manuscript and heaved it over his shoulder. "Mr. Hotdeals, I'm Dr. B. Famous Nofaultleroy the Third. You can call me Famous."
"Uh-huh." Harry accepted his second drink from Lucky and watched the shrill young thang scrambling to gather her manuscript pages before they were trampled.
"I'm a member of SFWA, MWA, HWA and currently Assistant Minutes Secretary of the Lord of the Wrongs speculative fiction critters online," the man told him, pointed to several enamelled pins gleaming on the spray-glittered bike tire he'd wrapped diagonally over his black Tolkien Sucks Heinlein T-shirt. "I've figured out what the singularity will be, you know, but I don't want to publish my findings and embarrass Vinge."
Harry smothered a yawn. "How many novels have you published?"
"Three critically-acclaimed short stories in very important speculative fiction magazines," Famous said. "I'm looking for someone intelligent enough to rep my first novel, which will be called the first and greatest masterpiece of the new weirdsteamurbanpunklit movement."
"Is that right." Harry eyed him and decided to cut things short. "What's the title?"
"Nightlife at Starship NecroTroopers Station." A hand clapped over his mouth. "Oh, God, I can't believe you tricked me like that. I know how you sleazebags operate. Now you'll tell someone else who is published and they'll steal it from me for their novel." As his cell phone rang, playing the theme music to Babylon Five, he glared at Harry. "I have to take this in private. I just want you to know that my cousin is a very successful personal injury attorney, and if you dare mention my title to anyone, he will have you in court in a heartbeat." He whipped a finger up under Harry's nose. "A heartbeat, Mr. Hotdeals."
Lucky came over to watch the skiffy writer stalk off. "He tell you the real title of his book?"
"Yeah."
"Poor bastard." Lucky gestured for one of the waitresses and handed her a pink lemonade and vodka. "Tell Famous it's on the house, and mention that Harry happens to suffer from short-term memory loss."
"Got it." The waitress whisked away the drink.
"So tell me something, Luck," Harry said, trying not to watch as the shrill young thang handed over a stack of bills and went out on the dance floor with a scam artist posing as an author's rep. "Why haven't you ever hit me with a proposal?"
"You want the truth?" When Harry nodded, Lucky said, "I don't really write screenplays. I just say I do. It's like eyebrow scars and hot cars -- deeply impresses the chicks, you know?" He grinned. "So why do you keep coming here? I figure, nice guy like you should be checking out the ladies at the foodie stores and love churches."
"Homecooking chefs and inspirational chick-lit?" Harry suppressed a shudder. "No thanks."
"Then what are you looking for, big guy?"
"My ideal?" He thought about it for a minute. "Someone with an attractive, confident and marketable story. You know, articulate without being wordy, exciting without being vulgar, artistic without needing conflict injections or character peels."
Lucky chuckled. "Who writes that kind of stuff these days?"
Harry thought of the few who had gotten away. "A beautiful dreamer. One who writes like a tire factory fire burns."
"Wow." Lucky rested his chin on his hand and sighed. "If you ever meet someone like that, find out if they have a sister who writes erotica."
"Haven't seen you around here lately, big guy," Lucky said. "Spending all your time at the negotiating tables?"
"You know it." Harry scanned the crowd. "God, what a mob. Everyone's dressed like extras from The Matrix. What is it, Sci-fi Saturday?"
Lucky shook his head. "New Genre Trend Night. Everyone's heavy on the Future Gothwear. Happy Wallpaper Historical Hour starts in about ten minutes, though. Two for one Virgin Mary Sues."
"You're HotWheels Harry, aren't you?" a shrill young thang shouted into Harry's right ear as she moved into the empty space next to his barstool.
They never got his name right. "Harrison Hotdeals," Harry said politely. "And you are. . . ?"
"The next Laurell K. Hamilton." She dropped an eight-pound manuscript on the bar in front of him. "I'm going to do you a huge personal favor and tell you all about my baby. It's erotic, fresh, hip, now, and the best thing you'll ever put your hands on for the rest of your life. Maybe, if you're really nice to me, I might even let you, you know." She winked. "Personally rep me."
As she blathered on, Harry quickly emptied his Margarita glass. When Lucky glanced his way, he pointed to the glass and held up one finger.
"Hey." Shrill young thang elbowed him. "I just told you about the greatest rubber diaper love scene in the history of fiction, and you don't say anything nice or buy me a drink? What kind of guy are you?"
"Excuse me." A pale man dressed in cyberpunk black grabbed the next Laurell K. Hamilton by her dark curly hair extensions and yanked her out of his way. He picked up her manuscript and heaved it over his shoulder. "Mr. Hotdeals, I'm Dr. B. Famous Nofaultleroy the Third. You can call me Famous."
"Uh-huh." Harry accepted his second drink from Lucky and watched the shrill young thang scrambling to gather her manuscript pages before they were trampled.
"I'm a member of SFWA, MWA, HWA and currently Assistant Minutes Secretary of the Lord of the Wrongs speculative fiction critters online," the man told him, pointed to several enamelled pins gleaming on the spray-glittered bike tire he'd wrapped diagonally over his black Tolkien Sucks Heinlein T-shirt. "I've figured out what the singularity will be, you know, but I don't want to publish my findings and embarrass Vinge."
Harry smothered a yawn. "How many novels have you published?"
"Three critically-acclaimed short stories in very important speculative fiction magazines," Famous said. "I'm looking for someone intelligent enough to rep my first novel, which will be called the first and greatest masterpiece of the new weirdsteamurbanpunklit movement."
"Is that right." Harry eyed him and decided to cut things short. "What's the title?"
"Nightlife at Starship NecroTroopers Station." A hand clapped over his mouth. "Oh, God, I can't believe you tricked me like that. I know how you sleazebags operate. Now you'll tell someone else who is published and they'll steal it from me for their novel." As his cell phone rang, playing the theme music to Babylon Five, he glared at Harry. "I have to take this in private. I just want you to know that my cousin is a very successful personal injury attorney, and if you dare mention my title to anyone, he will have you in court in a heartbeat." He whipped a finger up under Harry's nose. "A heartbeat, Mr. Hotdeals."
Lucky came over to watch the skiffy writer stalk off. "He tell you the real title of his book?"
"Yeah."
"Poor bastard." Lucky gestured for one of the waitresses and handed her a pink lemonade and vodka. "Tell Famous it's on the house, and mention that Harry happens to suffer from short-term memory loss."
"Got it." The waitress whisked away the drink.
"So tell me something, Luck," Harry said, trying not to watch as the shrill young thang handed over a stack of bills and went out on the dance floor with a scam artist posing as an author's rep. "Why haven't you ever hit me with a proposal?"
"You want the truth?" When Harry nodded, Lucky said, "I don't really write screenplays. I just say I do. It's like eyebrow scars and hot cars -- deeply impresses the chicks, you know?" He grinned. "So why do you keep coming here? I figure, nice guy like you should be checking out the ladies at the foodie stores and love churches."
"Homecooking chefs and inspirational chick-lit?" Harry suppressed a shudder. "No thanks."
"Then what are you looking for, big guy?"
"My ideal?" He thought about it for a minute. "Someone with an attractive, confident and marketable story. You know, articulate without being wordy, exciting without being vulgar, artistic without needing conflict injections or character peels."
Lucky chuckled. "Who writes that kind of stuff these days?"
Harry thought of the few who had gotten away. "A beautiful dreamer. One who writes like a tire factory fire burns."
"Wow." Lucky rested his chin on his hand and sighed. "If you ever meet someone like that, find out if they have a sister who writes erotica."
Thursday, February 21, 2008
25 Agents
The March '08 issue of The Writer magazine has the lowdown on 25 agents currently looking for submissions. They cover what the agents want to see, what type of proposal to send, commission and complete contact information. Some of the listings offer response times, too. Writer's House, which has me as a client, is one of the agencies listed. If you're looking for representation, might be worth picking up the issue.
Reading listings like these can offer some interesting bits of info, too. Agents can be very specific about what they don't want, i.e. "queries only" and "no science fiction." They also drop helpful or encouraging hints, like "Especially interested in writers from the Pacific Northwest, the West, Alaska and the Pacific Rim" and "Unpublished writers considered."
Nine of the agents/agencies listed in The Writer also mentioned how many queries and manuscripts they on an annual basis:
Abrams Artists Agency: 1,000
Ethan Ellenberg Literary Agency: 10,000
Jeff Herman Literary Agency: 5,000
Linda Konner Literary Agency: 1,500
Nancy Love Literary Agency: 2,000
Jean V. Naggar Literary Agency: 6,000
Alison Picard: 5,000
Wendy Schmalz Agency: 4,000
Scott Treimel: 2,000
Take your calculator and divide those numbers by 250 (the average number of weekday workdays in a year) and you'll get an idea of just how many queries and manuscripts these agents receive on a daily basis. Now imagine reading them and responding to them. Yeah, I think I'll stick to being a writer.
I recommend checking out any agent thoroughly before you submit or sign on with them. Make sure they're a member of AAR, and try to get some recommendations from other writers you know on who they like, who they've had trouble with, and who might be a good match for you.
If you'd like more info on agents, Laura Resnick has an excellent three-part article series that covers agents, agent-hunting, and working with and without an agent, which you can read online here.
Reading listings like these can offer some interesting bits of info, too. Agents can be very specific about what they don't want, i.e. "queries only" and "no science fiction." They also drop helpful or encouraging hints, like "Especially interested in writers from the Pacific Northwest, the West, Alaska and the Pacific Rim" and "Unpublished writers considered."
Nine of the agents/agencies listed in The Writer also mentioned how many queries and manuscripts they on an annual basis:
Abrams Artists Agency: 1,000
Ethan Ellenberg Literary Agency: 10,000
Jeff Herman Literary Agency: 5,000
Linda Konner Literary Agency: 1,500
Nancy Love Literary Agency: 2,000
Jean V. Naggar Literary Agency: 6,000
Alison Picard: 5,000
Wendy Schmalz Agency: 4,000
Scott Treimel: 2,000
Take your calculator and divide those numbers by 250 (the average number of weekday workdays in a year) and you'll get an idea of just how many queries and manuscripts these agents receive on a daily basis. Now imagine reading them and responding to them. Yeah, I think I'll stick to being a writer.
I recommend checking out any agent thoroughly before you submit or sign on with them. Make sure they're a member of AAR, and try to get some recommendations from other writers you know on who they like, who they've had trouble with, and who might be a good match for you.
If you'd like more info on agents, Laura Resnick has an excellent three-part article series that covers agents, agent-hunting, and working with and without an agent, which you can read online here.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Ginger Clark
Today I'm sending you all back over to Jordan Summer's blog to read what her agent Ginger Clark had to say in response to some of the questions posted by Jordan's visitors.
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