Monday, November 28, 2016
A Tale of One Book
Today I'm going to be a reader instead of a writer, and tell you a tale of one book. It's a trade paperback I bought over the weekend, and it's new, expensive (the $15.00 I spent on it would have bought me five books at my local UBS) and almost everything about it pushes no-way buttons with me. So why did I buy it?
Let's start with why I didn't want to. The cover art, while pretty, features blueberries. So does the title, which is also too long and employs the word Irresistible, for God's sake. Like I can't stop myself from buying it. Please. Back to the fruit: for blueberry lovers this is great, but I don't like them. They taste like perfume to me. I'll eat them if I have to in a muffin or a pancake, but I'm just not a fan. All the blueberries in my face was strike #1.
According to the bio, the author is a corporate attorney who writes fiction on the side. I'm all for the day job, but lawyers are not my favorite people. They generally make lousy writers, too, and I personally know only one attorney-author who is a marvelous writer. So the lawyer bit was strike #2.
There is a blurb on the front of the cover comparing this book to a novel I really love. Plus, right? Not really. I hate blurbs that compare a book to more successful novels. Also, the author who blurbed the book went on TV with a commercial in which he threatened to kill off his protagonist if readers didn't buy his book. I loathe that kind of advertising. The blurb was strike #3.
I should have put the book back on the shelf at the store, but even with the three strikes I wanted to see what the writing was like. Actually I was positive that the writing would confirm all my little judgments. There would be some stupid weather report, or a fake emotional introspective yawner, or some plodding fumbling attorney crap, or even one of those 12-step podium speech intros: My name is Yada Yada, and I am helpless against blueberries, which changed my life . . . Seriously, though, I was expecting it to majorly stink, just as everything about the book did at that moment -- and I was prepared to gloat over how right I was about the book being a total suckfest.
Five minutes later I checked out and bought the book. Why, why, why? you ask.
The writing. The writing was a homerun. In fact, the first five words knocked it out of the park. The Irresistible Blueberry Bakeshop & Cafe by Mary Simses has the best opening line I've read in years. The first page grabbed me by the imagination and wouldn't let go, but honestly, the reason I bought it was the first line. That's how much it wowed me. It steamrolled right over the blueberries and the attorney thing and that awful blurb.
I don't care who you are, or what a publisher does to your book. If you write well, I will buy your work. I will follow you, and keep an eye out for more, and tell my friends about you. I will write about you here on PBW, even when your book had three strikes against you from the get-go. Because when it comes down to it all that really matters to me is the work. I won't care if you own a thousand blueberry farms or a hundred personal injury lawsuit franchises. Write a homerun, and I'm yours.
If you NaNo'ers out there are serious about becoming a professional writer, don't be distracted by the hoopla or the mystic or the prestige of the job title. Don't be sucked into all the self-publishing crap. Focus on the work. Get it done, edit brilliantly, and make it the best damn story anyone has read in ages. And we will be yours.
Posted by Lynn Viehl at 11:02 AM