Rent-An-Author

We here at Rent-An-Author are aware that the current economic situation has put a strain on everyone's budget. But it also means that more authors than ever are eager and ready to entertain you and your guests at your next special event!

Why pay for over-priced celebs for hire who are just going to get drunk and wreck your house when you can have the intelligent, thoughtful and articulate alternative of a national bestselling author who will shake your hand, patronize you and your friends, and drone out a reading of their favorite hundred or so pages of their latest work of breathtaking genius*?

Remember, all of our rental writers come equipped with:

1. Authentic grungy writing outfit
2. Mug of lukewarm, skin-topped beverage
3. End-gnawed pencil or pen tucked behind right ear
4. Real author hair (in one of the following classic styles: Bed Hair, Overgrown Hair, or No Hair)
5. Mini bottle of hand sanitizer (to be used by author only)

Bonus!! Every author comes with a pen to sign up to two hardcovers or paperbacks (as long as the books are written by them, brand new and their latest release.)

February Special Author Experiences & Events

Go to firing range and talk about your love life with Janet Evanovich!

Have your little girl make evil button-eyed dolls with Neil Gaiman!

Send grandpa to attend church, pray and get arrested for it with Poppy Z. Brite!

Discuss about your purpose in life with Rev. Rick Warren (not available for clients with alternative lifestyles.)

Have an elegant and intimate dinner with John Updike Tom Wolfe

Group Events:

Hot Tub Wine and Cheese Encounter with LKH and nine of her bodyguards! (clothing optional)

NEWEST: Twilight Books bonfire and weinie roast with master of horror Stephen King!

Don't deny yourself the encounter of a lifetime [R-A-A accepts cash, certified checks, all major credit cards or the equivalent in broken and unwanted gold.)

*Some authors reserve the right to get drunk and wreck your house after the reading.