From the Normal Paranormal Writers newsletter:
Tired of reading completely implausible paranormal novels featuring silly mythic warriors, ridiculous demon slayers and offensive reconstructive vampire surgeons? Looking for fresh, unique paranormal stories that are both nice and could actually happen in this world, to real people?
Look no further! Normal Paranormal Writers (RWA and SFWA membership approval pending) are dedicated to providing quality paranormal novels featuring only realistic, nice protagonists and plausible plots for a completely safe and satisfying reader experience.
Here are some of the exciting novels for which our members should be signing big deals for any minute now:
1. Call Me Vlad by Jonica Mackson: Telemarketer Tasha Kasha had no idea that selling maintenance-free vinyl castle siding would have her falling in love with the voice from her deepest nightmares.
2. Checkout the Devil by Deidre Dikshrinker: The Evil One is standing in the express line and has more than ten items, what's a good Christian cashier at the end of her shift to do?
3. Dark Convenience by Krissy Freehand: The Big Gulp that he really wanted was Suzy Doozy, but how could he get her to unlock the doors after midnight so he could say the immortal ritual words that would make her his 24/7 woman?
4. Fiends with Benefits by R.J. Draw: After noting that more and more people are calling in sick on the night of a full moon, personnel manager Betty Stetty learns a terrible secret that may utterly destroy the salesforce.
5. If Bangles Burn by Lin Vale: Opening a specialty costume jewelry store during Christmas shopping season is hard enough, but when manager Judy Prudy is kidnapped and forced to redo an injured demonic prince's piercings, can she charm her way back to the mall and freedom?
6. Massage Me Gently by Sheena Gowalter: Physical therapist Mina Deena tried to work the huge knots out of the shoulders of her strange, purple-skinned new client, but there seemed to be something inside them . . . something that wanted out!
7. Midnight Shifters by Stephie King: Tiffany Litany hated working the register with its dumb pictures of food, but she should have never turned her back when the guy wearing the pentagram said he wanted fries with that.
8. Prince of Cubs by Sue SanKranird: Cub Scout Den Mother Beth Pleth isn't sure why all the boys in her troop have 5 o'clock shadows, but her world will turn upside down when she and the lil' shavers go camping with dark and enigmatic Scout Leader Paco "Macho" Loco Lupa.
9. Quiet Tormentor by Elizabeth Stokava: Shushing the noisy cheerleaders writing their term papers was hard enough, but keeping an eye on the red-eyed man lurking in Reference places librarian Gertrude Fine in danger of losing her heart -- and her soul.
10. Undead in Underwear by Merry-Jan Deckemone : Personal shopper Lori Dory can't understand why the mysterious European Count with the thick accent spends so much time following her through her favorite lingerie stores. Is he a cross-dresser, a stalker, or something much more menacing?
Please contact Verity Snicklepickle @ Normal Paranormal Writers for author contact information, offers that will be described as very nice deals in Publisher's Lunch, or sexy fan mail (cute single guys only.) Thank you.