My latest release, Dark Need, is hitting the shelves today. Unless, of course, the Apocalypse arrives, in which case, the stores will probably get it out there by the weekend. But my conscience has been steadily kicking me in the ass because there aren't any dogs in my book.
[There should have been dogs. Or a dog.]
It's this thing I found that set me off on the whole dog issue. Did you know that for $34.95 (plus shipping and handling) that you, your honey, your friends and even your beloved pet can star as characters in your very own 175-page, paperback, passion- and intrigue-packed vampire romance novel?
[I didn't. I'm doomed. $34.95 for a 50K book and the reader has to co-author it? Damn. I'm in the wrong end of the business.]
Other than the lame stock title (Vampire Kisses) it does sound like a great deal. I mean, how often do you get the chance to buy a book with your dog in the story?
[I don't know why I didn't think of a dog. Dean Koontz puts dogs in everything. So does Stephen King, only . . . euuuw. You know, I have a great dog. A beautiful dog. Smart. Loyal. And he's had all his rabies shots.]
Statistics tell us that in the U.S., an average of about 50 new books hit the shelves every day. 48 of them are probably vampire fiction, so Dark Need has quite a bit of competition.
[It would have freaked out Harry if I put Buddy in the book. But would Harry have bought the book? Probably not, he reads SF. God only knows how many of the other 49 books hitting the shelf today have dogs as well as vampires in them. This could be the next big thing. Vampires with Dogs fiction.]
By next week, another 300 new novels will land beside my latest. And the new novels will keep coming -- my book will then have to compete with 3,500 of them by the end of the summer and 88,000 by the end of the year. It's a bit like tossing a seashell onto Sanibel Island beach. Blink and it's gone.
[Not if there had been a dog in it, stupid.]
Don't be discouraged. I'm not. People pick up interesting shells all the time. If they like them, they come back for more. They display them, and tell their friends where they found them. Very often they treasure them.
[Like stories with dogs, you twit!]