Seeing the Light

You know you're a series writer when you never want your stories to end. I happen to be that kind of storyteller. I'm also allergic to happily ever after, don't like saying good-bye, and refuse to believe in Armageddon.

Then there is the frustrating mystery of the appropriate time to stop replying to e-mail replies, which I have never been able to solve. Do I stop replying too soon? Do I drag it out longer than I should? I'd put -30- at the end of mine, but not everyone would get it. And there's no graceful to say "Do you still want to reply, and then should I reply, or is it okay if I stop after you send the next one?"

Hey, I'm a writer. I worry about this stuff.

I also hate ending books, which is why I often rush through writing my last chapter. It's like taking cough medicine; sipping it slowly is simply not possible. For a while it was becoming a real problem for me; during the full manuscript editing phase I almost always threw out the last chapter because it sucked and rewrote it from scratch. Then someone mentioned online that they wrote their final chapter way before they got to it so they could work toward an ending versus screeching to a halt and wrapping it all up (and I'm sorry, but I don't recall who said that or I'd give them credit.)

I'm also a linear writer, in that I write from beginning to end without stopping, so I knew from the start that this was not going to be easy for me. Still, I wanted to see if it worked, so I tried it. I stopped when I was writing in first third of the book, and put together a draft of the last chapter. Once I finished it, I parked it at the end of the manuscript anyway and went back to pick up where I left off.

I don't think about what I've already written while I'm writing, so I forgot about it. And sure enough, when I got to the end of the book and started getting the usual, "Oh, God, I have finish it" heebie-jeebies, the ending was already there, like a nice little light at the end of the bridge.

Now granted, that last chapter draft was pretty rough, and needed plenty of revision because certain things had changed during the process of the novel. But I am much less stressed when I edit, especially when I have a completed manuscript to work on. I also didn't take as much time off between the writing and the full manuscript edit because I wasn't annoyed with myself or how I'd written the ending. Having it waiting for me was actually energizing.

If you wrestle with your endings and want to try this method, I have a few suggestions:

Know how you want your book to end (obviously writing ahead isn't going to work for organic writers) and briefly outline the chapter before you write it.

Write light. This is a draft, not a finalized chapter, so keep it simple and nail the most important details.

Characters, dialogue and action make a great framework for a draft chapter. Avoid things that bog down the writing, i.e. tons of description, endless setting, weather reports, travelogues, etc.

Don't tell yourself it's set in stone, because it's not. If it sucks you can always toss it and rewrite a new version from scratch.

Writing the last chapter while you're still working on the front of the book also has one final benefit: once you have it written, the book is technically finished. Then all you have to do is write toward that light at the end of the story bridge.

Image credit: © Karin Jehle | Dreamstime.com

Advizine

Aside from the market and agent listings in the back pages, the October issue of The Writer was pretty much another waste of dime. Short version: Vampires are over, zombies are the next big thing; craft way-cool characters with only 4, count 'em, 4 steps; self-publishing's all right for nonfic or niche; bitching over the worth of writer blogs; plus the usual roundup of successful Names to tantalize us with their success. Right. Thank you.

My issues with this issue: Vampires have been over for what, two, three years now? And zombies, well, if you're the author of a how-to on writing zombies, sure, you'd want them to be the next big thing (I want genetically-enhanced superhumans to be the next big thing; should I write an article saying they are?) And apparently there is zombie erotica out there, and I need that phrase soldered out of my brain, immediately. Seriously, I say write whatever makes your readers happy, but if reanimated rotting corpses getting it on truly are the next big thing, then PBW is going back to ghost writing. Or maybe ghosts will be the next big thing. Somebody, go check with Jennifer Crusie, see what she thinks.

Know what? I'm tired of the next big thing. I say let's figure out what the next little thing is going to be. Or the next weird thing. Or the thing that has no buzzword. That would make a cool opening pitch line, wouldn't it? "Enclosed please find my proposal for The Vampire Brotherhood vs. The Promiscuous Zombie Chicks, which I believe will be the next thing. What that thing is, I can't really say. It's a closely-guarded secret. You understand."

But I digress.

I regret to say that in my experience (which is fairly extensive) it generally takes more than four steps to create a decent character. I've never counted but I think it takes somewhere around 4,967 steps. Maybe 4,968. On a good day. And sure, there is promo and platform and fanbasing in blogging, and of course, there are a gazillion blogs and there is no money in blogging. Evidently there is money in writing generic articles about the pros and cons of writer blogs, but I'll guess the market is glutted now.

Naturally I could be wrong, but then again, I just do this for a living. I do know that when I find myself arguing out loud with the articles I'm reading, it usually means I must stop renewing the subscription (or, in this case, quit picking it up from the newstand.)

You guys reading any writing advice 'zines out there lately that aren't leaving your eyes blinking in disbelief?

Write Noise

In my endless pursuit of practical writing advice for the working writer, I have to plow through a lot of material online, in books and in the trades. A good chunk of it seems to be written by academics with impressive credentials but little to no industry experience, near or current retirees who like to reminisce about the good old days (which, remind me, were when?) and, of course, the newbie who has it all figured out before the ink dries on their first contract.

In reality it doesn't matter to me who offers it up. I don't care how many books are on your brag shelf, what is or isn't on your C.V., or if you even have a writing career to speak of. I'll listen, and if it's really good, I'll probably use it. As we all know, the Publishing biz has very little to do with the art of writing, and not all writers pursue publication. But this advice? Had better be real, and useful, and not something else in disguise.

What don't I want to read? Top of the list: Self-promo dressed up in a flimsy advice costume and holding out its empty goodie bag. Trick or treat, buy what I'm really selling: my book/workshop/seminar/editing service etc. Or the career mini-memoir. Yes, I'm sure that walking barefoot forty miles through the snow to mail a query letter by Pony Express to NY was a horrific ordeal, but knowing this helps me how? I'm especially tired of the rule issuers; I think we should make them fight cage matches: Write What You Know Nick vs. Don't Write What You Know Donald. Slow Is Better Than Fast Fanny vs. Fast Is The Way To Go Gloria. Plot it Paul vs. Organic Arthur.

Now that I think about it, the rule people would make pretty cool action figures, too, wouldn't they? Plot It Paul could come with his own whiteboard, fifteen notebooks, four hundred sticky note pads, a bottle of Mylanta and tiny bundles of index cards stuffed in all his pockets. Organic Arthur's accessories would include a little broken comb for his beard, a Jack Kerouac T-shirt with the sleeves torn off, wee empty whiskey bottles to pile around the base of his desk (if you can find it under all those dusty, unfinished manuscripts) and a button on his back you could push that makes him say, "I can't do that, I'm an artist and it would ruin the story for me."

Sorry. Sometimes I can't help myself.

But if all else fails, please, God, give me some ancient, threadbare, outdated, endlessly recycled and quoted gem o'wisdom that I've heard a couple trillion times, uttered by some Big Name before they had to worry about tax shelters, 12 step programs and botox injections. I mean, really, how can I go on if I don't make my writing mantra what Big Name thought was relevant back when Laurie McBain was raking it in?

Who is Laurie McBain? See? You're already feeling my pain.

When I consider offering writing advice, the first thing I think about is how helpful it will be to someone in the trenches. I can talk shop all day long -- who can't? -- but if it doesn't provide some kind of workable insight, what's the point? Once I feel like I have something that is worth talking about, I then attack the topic from a working writer's perspective, and ask myself a lot of questions, like: how practical is this? How much is it going to cost in writing time, resources, income, creative energy? Is it efficient and user-friendly? Does it provide real methods and/or tools the writer needs? Most important of all, does it really work?

I probably need to take a break from how-to for a while, especially the writer trades. Don't get me wrong, now and then I don't mind reading an open love letter from an author to an imaginary/nameless/highly-idealized reader, a glossary of lofty literary terms I use maybe once a leap year, fond memories from more successful writers on what the biz was like back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, or yet another pointless viewpoint on the Amazon-Publisher e-book pricing wars. But is it writing advice? No. Can I use it for myself or the blog? No. Should I pay for it? Why?

Rulers

The Guardian has an interesting article listing ten rules for writing fiction from Elmore Leonard and various other important authors. Richard Ford's terse but funny list (scroll down) is my favorite, but I noted a couple authors couldn't come up with ten rules; one lady only offered three (invoking that quotation about there being three rules for writing books, but no one knows what they are.)

I don't agree or disagree with any of the rules listed; I question the point of listing rules for writing at all. The authors I enjoy most are the ones who generally ignore or smash the rules. This may be because I personally loathe them and do whatever I can to stomp on their pointy little heads (the rules, not the important authors who issue them. Who may have pointy little heads, too, but I digress.)

The work demands certain things from us: good grammar, strong voice, coherent narrative, effortless pacing and engaging characters. We all have our own tricks and tools we use to bring that to the page. Do any of us do it exactly the same way, or abide by the same set of rules? No. I've known writers who use such a complicated process that they have to do ten times the work I do in order to produce a story; I've known others who seem to pull it out of thin air on a whim and nail perfection in a single draft that they rattle out in an hour.

Over the course of a career I think we all put together rules for ourselves and take them apart and recombine them and throw in or take out whatever experience teaches us works or doesn't work. I used to be obsessed with writing all my chapters the same length and with the same number of scenes. They were all exactly the same; I actually counted scenes and pages. Part of it was my love of symmetry; some of it came from worry that if I didn't have that uniformity I wasn't controlling the prose or the pacing. Then I read a book by another author who obviously didn't give a damn about chapter length, having written several that were very long and others that were equally short. A couple were just a single page -- and the book was wonderful.

Seeing that book work so well despite the lack of chapter symmetry was so powerful and effective an example that it made me rethink my own rule. I started relaxing more and focusing on the story instead of counting pages. My chapters are still fairly symmetrical (old habits die hard) but now if the scene or page counts don't match perfectly I don't have a cow.

I'd like to see all these writing rules go far, far away, and more discussion and advice take their place. Why can't we agree that no rule fits all writers? Maybe some of you out there know an excellent way to get around the rule of using only "said" as a dialogue tag, or that dark and stormy night no-no of never opening a story with a weather report just doesn't apply to you. In fact, maybe you do it so well that the applicable rule crumples like a wet tissue in the face of what you do with story.

One thing I did take away from this article is an intense desire never to utter another writing rule again without making sure I clarify it with a "For me" or "When I write." For me, reading a book that opens with a weather report seems dull, so I don't write them. When I write, I try not to use any dialogue tag but "said" because I was brainwashed into doing the exact opposite by my ninny of an English teacher in school. And I still reserve the right to break either rule whenever it serves the story.

What writing rule(s) do you like to break? Let us know in comments.

Writing the TC

One thing the paranormal romance, urban fantasy, romantic suspense and dark fantasy trends of the last decade have given genre readers is a different brand of female protagonist. She’s not the archetypal helpless virginal victim we so often met in the novels of the seventies and early eighties; this female is quite different.

Imagine a woman who doesn’t depend on her hero to define or redefine her, isn’t waiting for that someday when her Prince Charming will show up, and is not interested in fairy godmothers or glass slippers. She's not a shapeless lump of clay waiting to be molded by the hokey pokey of true love. This female could never be called helpless or spineless, and while she may welcome a little backup, she can fight her own battles just fine, thank you very much.

Readers often call this kind of tough chick female protagonist the kickass heroine. I’m not especially fond of that term because I find it somewhat demeaning to strong women, who in fiction as well as reality do not have to kick anyone’s ass to get the job done (so forgive me if I pass on the popular terminology and refer to her as TC for the rest of the post.)

Because TC-suitable stories are in genres that are most popular with women readers, the writer who chooses to cast this sort of character as a protagonist has to do more than arm her with independence, wit, and nerves of steel. The toughest job the TC has to accomplish – other than bringing down the bad guys in her story – is gaining the sympathy of her female readers.

From what I've observed of my gender, women seem to be stirred to sympathy most often when our nurturing or rescuing instincts are engaged, which is usually by something small, defenseless, injured, helpless, or otherwise in need of our care. Herein lies the quandary of making the TC sympathetic: Whether she’s cast as a cop or a PI, a shape shifter or vampire hunter, or just the girl who ends up in the wrong place at the right time, the TC is generally not in need of nurturing or rescuing . . . or so it seems.

When you strip a female protagonist of the classic vulnerabilities, you have to find other aspects of her character that have the best chance of engaging the reader's sympathy. How do you do that when you've created a self-reliant, resilient female who appears so invulnerable?

Backstory

Let's say something in the past turned your female protagonist into a tough chick, and it still haunts her or has an ongoing effect on her life. If you take this approach, the reader will likely view her as a survivor versus indifferent or callous.

Here's a character sketch from my novel If Angels Burn: abandoned as an infant, Dr. Alexandra Keller spent her early years on the street with only her young brother to protect her. Her adoptive parents later die when she's a young teen, at which time her beloved brother dumps her in a boarding school and goes off to do missionary work in another country.

Alex has had no choice but to be self-reliant and resilient; life has shown her little pity. When we first meet her we discover that she lives alone, has no real ties, few friends, is estranged from her brother, John, and is practicing a profession that not only makes the most of her unusual talents, but demands exacting self-control and precision. She's independent to the point of being unreasonable about it, refuses to ask for help, and finds it very difficult to trust, much less love, anyone.

Why do we sympathize with Alex? Beneath the smart mouth and demanding personality, the fastest reconstructive surgeon in the world is alone, lonely, and scared. In one way or another, everyone she loves has left her to fend for herself. And despite her bitterness toward John and the curve ball fate throws her after she's forced to perform surgery on a disfigured immortal, Alex is still committed to help others, from helpless victims to her own kidnapper. She may have been abandoned, but she never abandons others. To walk away from someone in trouble is unthinkable to Alex.

According to disgruntled readers, Alex is the most unlikeable and annoying TC character I've ever written. Oddly enough those same qualities are what endears her to many other readers who are devoted Alex fans. Alex, it seems, is a TC you either hate or love -- but then, most of the strongest females among us usually are.

Under the Circumstances

Present day events can also make a tough chick out of the female protagonist, even when she’s the sweetest and nicest female in existence. Case in point: In Dark Fever by Karen Marie Moning (which I think Amie recommended I read back when I took suggestions for my current TBR), MacKayla (Mac) is the fluffiest pretty pink girl I've ever seen turned into a tough chick in the space of a couple chapters.

Mac, who travels to Ireland to investigate her sister's murder, discovers that she is not who she thinks she is. She has a rare ability that allows her to see things other humans can't, and even do something about them. Why has this never come up before? Mac lived in a little podunk Georgia town and never went anywhere, and thus never ran into the Inhuman Unseen before. In Ireland, however, she's inundated with them. She also has to join forces with one of the bigger and badder guys in order to protect herself and find out who killed her sister and why.

We sympathize with Mac because she is so fluffy and sweet, and is gradually transformed by circumstances beyond her control into a very different character. Mac is every woman who has undergone some ordeal and emerged from it fundamentally changed as a person. The thing I find admirable about Mac is how she still fights to hold onto some of that fluffy pink sweetness despite the horrors she's exposed to. It's the same reason we deeply admire women who don't abandon hope even after fate tears their life to shreds. We pray if we're ever in their shoes we can be half as strong.

I can't speak for other readers, but I know I sympathize with Mac because she isn't just a ball of fluff turned TC, she's an embodiment of hope -- what is left in Pandora's box after all the terrible things are unleashed.

Dealing

Sometimes things happen to us without our permission, and to deal with them we have to undergo a transform that usually begins as a defense mechanism or a facade for some other important reason, and over time becomes an integral part of who we are. In other words, the role we play becomes real.

Jayr from my novel Evermore is a female protagonist whose body never fully matured, and after she is transformed into an immortal, she finds herself trapped in that boyish form. She deals with this by living the life that body fits -- that of a seneschal, traditionally a male role in her society. This also allows her to remain close to the lord she loves and yet believes she can never have any other type of relationship with.

When I proposed writing Evermore, the one comment everyone I discussed it with made is that no one wants to read novels with a female vampire protagonist, because it's the male vampire who is most appealing to women readers. I didn't totally agree with this, but I knew it would be tough to make a female vampire sympathetic. Still, I was pretty sure that my girl-knight had what it took.

Almost every female endures a lot of angst during puberty, especially in that time period just as all our lovely hormones wake up and attack us. We go from being children to young women, and it's a torturous process. In those few short years, we struggle daily with our self-esteem and self-image, and those scary and foreign desires that we don't yet understand.

I believe Jayr is sympathetic because nearly all women understand her struggle intimately, but we also know she can't grow out of it. Being stuck between child and woman, potentially forever, is an impossible situation for any female.

Building Your TC

There are an infinite number of other ways to make a TC a sympathetic protagonist; they’re not just limited to these three examples. I suggest the writer look at the strong female role models in their real life who most inspire them, and see what brought them to their place in the world. What drove them to strive beyond whatever cards they were dealt?

Poverty, deprivation and personal loss are all powerful motivators. So are the gifts some are born with or are called to, such as faith, teaching and healing. Don’t forget those circumstances, either; very often strong women don’t consciously choose to become TCs, but are shaped by their time period and significant life events. I know it's a lot to think about, but as writers we work very hard to make our TCs legitimate tough chicks. The same effort should go into also making her sympathetic to the reader.

One more thought: when I write the TC, I endow her with a suitable personality and whatever abilities she’s entitled to. At the same time, I deliberately flaw her, and I give her fairly serious flaws. On occasion I also allow her to fumble things, make bad decisions and otherwise mess up, just as real women do. The last thing I want in my story is a towering paragon of unshakable ability and endless confidence who never does anything wrong, because I know I’m not going to sympathize with her; I’m not going to believe she's real at all. And that's the kind of TC no one wants to read.

Pro-to-NaNo

Twenty Bits of Advice from a Pro for the New NaNo'er
(plus links)

1. Unless you're writing about meteorologists, tornado hunters or the inexplicable onset of an ice age, resist the urge to start your novel with a report on the current climate conditions. If we want a forecast, we'll watch The Weather Channel.

(Great Beginnings by Robert J. Sawyer)

2. If the only way you can describe your story is to say, "It's just like The DaVinci Code/Starship Troopers/The Hunt for Red October/Go, Dog, Go/The Flame and the Flower/The Stand/Murder on the Orient Express/Twilight -- only better" you might want to try out another idea.

(Top 4 Ways to Know Your Idea is Novel-Worthy by By Ginny Wiehardt)

3. If safe and convenient to do so, remove all the phones, televisions, stereos, radios, video games and non-writing devices from your writing space or turn them off and unplug them. If not safe or convenient (i.e., you need to be reachable) see if someone else can handle phone duty while you write.

(Tips and Tricks for Distraction-Free Writing by Dustin M. Wax)

4. If you plan a writing session that will last for more than an hour, set a kitchen timer for 60 minutes. When it dings, get up, walk away from the computer, and take a five to ten minute break. When you get back, reset it for sixty minutes.

(Five Tips for Finding Writing Time by Michael Stelzner)

5. You don't need to check your wordcount two hundred times per writing session. It's not going to change that much (unless you type really, really fast.) Check it when you start writing, and again when you finish. Feel free to show off your progress on your blog or web site, though. I love seeing those wordcount widgets.

(NaNoWriMo's official Word Count Widgets page)

6. If possible, skip eating where you write, or writing where you eat. Have snacks and meals on your breaks away from your writing space. The only thing you should be doing in your writing space is writing.

(American Dietetic Association's Healthy Eating in Your Home Office)

7. Refrain from asking friends, family or loved ones to read what you're writing while you're writing it. Wait until December 1st, then drop all 50,000 words on them.

(Critiquing by Marilynn Byerly)

8. If at any time you feel seriously burned out, take a day off and do something physical. Go for a walk. Work out at the gym. Clean the house. Garden. Anything that takes your mind off the story and allows you some breathing room. It's better to lose one day of writing than flame out entirely halfway through.

(How to Avoid Writer Burnout by Misti Sandefur)

9. If you can't think of what to write, or you feel a block of any kind forming, tag that section of the manuscript with a bracketed notation of what you needed to write there (i.e., [Jane tells John about her STD test results here]) and move on to the next scene.

(How To Avoid Writers' Block ~ Give Yourself Permission To Write Badly by Rhonda Leigh Jones)

10. If a good name for your character eludes you, give him/her/it a temporary working name with an unusual spelling, like Xerox or Zorro or Jabba. Then, when you do think of a good name, you can do a "Replace-All" without changing all the other words that contain the same letters as your temporary name.

(Kleimo.com's Random Name Generator)

11. Writing can be exhausting, both mentally and physically. Try to get eight hours sleep a night, minimum, and if you're writing all day, take a one-hour break to rest in the afternoon.

(HowStuffWorks.com's 26 Home Remedies for Insomnia)

12. If you're thirsty, drink chilled water instead of sugary and/or caffeinated beverages. Avoid energy drinks that make you hyper. When I get tired of water, I switch to Crystal Light. Their peach tea is my favorite.

(Crystal Light Citrus Brunch Punch recipe is also delicious)

13. When you finish a scene or a chapter, take a minute to stop, stand up and stretch.

(Stress Reduction Exercises)

14. If your protagonist has the same occupation, physical description, love interests, problems and ambitions as you, you might want to rethink the character.

(Scriptwriting ~ Crafting Your Protagonist by T. Robinson)

15. If your antagonist bears an alarming resemblance to your ex, and is fated to die a slow, lingering and quite horrible death, you might want to rethink your character, and maybe consider making an appointment with a therapist.

(Peter Anspach's classic The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord)

16. Instead of thinking "This will never get published" try "This time I will finish it."

(Positive thinking: Practice this stress management skill from the MayoClinic.com)

17. If possible, take all of the published books out of your immediate writing space, including that wonderful novel by your favorite author that you keep under your desk to pick up and skim whenever you feel blocked. I know, it's hard to give up the wubby book, but when you write, you should be the only author in the room.

(Finding Your Voice by Christopher Meeks)

18. Keep a notepad and pen handy at all times. Put them in your writing space, and carry extras in your car, in your purse or briefcase, on your nightstand and in the bathroom.

(Printable Notebook freeware.)

19. Avoid backreading before you begin writing. If you need a reminder of where you left off, write a short note of where you are on your notepad after you finish writing each day, or print out the last paragraph of what you wrote and leave that beside the computer.

(PBW's Eff the Editing LB&LI workshop)

20. At some point you will probably think it sucks. Every time I sit down to write, I think it sucks. The difference between you and me is, I don't listen to that whiny, impossible-to-satisfy bitch. I kick her out of my head immediately and go to work. I let her come back later, when I'm editing.

(PBW's Writing Triage)

Finally, one more thing: remember that while you're doing this immense, incredibly challenging, perpetually frustrating and often scary thing called writing, you're not alone. (Courage)

Together Again

Now available as a free e-book over on Scribd>*:



As with the first John and Marcia collection, I've also added in some articles after each post in the e-book on how to avoid, combat and/or handle the writing problems involved. Click on the cover art to go to the Scribd document page.

*Note 9/3/10: Since Scribd.com instituted an access fee scam to charge people for downloading e-books, including those I have provided for free for the last ten years, I have removed my free library from their site, and no longer use or recommend using their service. This book and all of my free reads may be read online or downloaded for free from Google Docs; go to my freebies and free reads page for the links. See my post about this scam here.

Cast Balancing

I think most writers try to compose interesting characters, and put a lot of work into creating an appealing cast for their story. Reading a novel with boring characters is like being locked in a room filled with everyone's least favorite aunt, the sort who wants to pinch your cheek, tsk over your clothes/weight/love life, and talk about their bunion or bowel problems without stopping for breath.

(Aunt Frances, I'm not talking about you. I promise.)

One thing I do notice about characters in novels is when the cast is unbalanced. Raise your hand if you've read a story populated by the following:

All of a kind: the characters have interchangeable or sound-alike names.

Gang Bangs: the cast consists of one female and twenty males, or one male and twenty females.

Generation gappers: the entire cast is in their twenties, or thirties, or forties, etc.

Monochromatics: all of the characters are white, or black, or Hispanic, or [insert ethnic group].

Threesomes: three siblings, three friends, or three of a kind.

Tokens: one black character in an all-white cast, one white character in an all-black cast, one gay character in an all-hetero cast, etc.

West Side Stories: all the characters are split between two opposing groups, no in-betweens.

Now before anyone starts sending me hate mail, I'm not knocking every story with these type of casts. Some of them have become a tradition in genre fiction, and I don't think they're unbalanced if they serve the story. Threesomes, for example, are the time-honored foundations for romance trilogies. If you're writing a book titled "The Last Woman on Earth" you have no choice but to use a gang bang cast. Casts for epic fantasies are prone to become West Side Stories because of the good vs. evil conflicts involved.

That said, if you're tired of the same-old same-old, and want more diversity and originality in your novels, it's a good idea to balance out your cast before you start writing the book. First, make a list of all the characters in the novel by name in alphabetical order. Then:

Ages: Note the characters' ages next to their names, and compare them. If everyone in your novel is 29, and it's not titled "Logan's Run" you might want to shift around some birthdays.

Gender: Highlight the names by sex: pink for girls, blue for boys. If you end up with a huge chunk of blue or pink, you might consider switching some of the characters' genders.

Group Dynamics: mark the members of any numbered group like a threesome among your cast. Are they individuals or blurred clones of each other? Work on how you can give them more distinct personalities so they're not so dependent on their group relationship.

Loyalties: Note whose side your characters are on. See if you have a few characters who are neutral or disagree with both sides. If you don't, think about changing around some loyalties.

Naming: Look at the characters' names to see if any sound alike or start with the same letter; readers often confuse these characters with each other. Think about changing the ones that are too close.

Race: Put a letter indicating race/ethnicity next to your characters' names. If your cast is all one race or ethnicity, and you can't logically justify it, it's monochromatic. Also, use this step to see if you've cast a token character. Unless there is a valid story reason for a monochromatic cast, consider putting a bit more racial diversity in your story.

Balancing your cast through diversification makes your characters seem more alive and natural. They become people who might exist in reality. Since that's the goal of most writers, I think it's worth the effort.

RGB in FLA

Guess what I found at the bookstore today:



It's a beautiful book, with very cool cover art -- you've got to see it up close to get the full impact. It's very classy, too. Reminds me a lot of my first novel. Okay, there aren't any bioengineered surgeons, maroon preying mantis nurses, nectarine porcupine orderlies or unconscious reptilian slavers giving birth to killer quintuplets on Rob's. But aside from those little details, they could be identical.

I should take this opportunity to offer some wise old crone writer advice to the author now. Not that he needs it, but still. I think we've covered why one shouldn't get their first title tattooed in the bikini area (can't show it off to anyone at cons and booksignings) and how to properly accessorize a powder pink twin set (pearls, always go with pearls)...

I know: Rob, if your production team suggests putting any type of leaping, dolphin-like alien lifeform on the cover of the next book?
Say NO.

We absolutely must celebrate this debut, so in comments to this post, please pass along your congratulations to Rob by midnight EST on February 2, 2007. I'll draw three names at random from everyone who participates and send the winners an unsigned copy of Kiss Her Goodbye by Robert Gregory Browne. Giveaway open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.