Because Sometimes You Need a Prompt

Sorry I'm late posting again today. My life got temporarily derailed, but I'm now back on track, all's well etc.

A few nights back I was doing one of my random searches for online writing inspiration when I found this article by Jenny Yang on ten resources to help break writer's block. Most of them I've already seen, linked to or keep bookmarked, except for one: Plinky. Here's how the site defines itself:

Plinky makes it easy for you to create inspired content. Every day we provide a prompt (i.e. a question or challenge) and you answer. We make it simple to add rich media and share your answers on Facebook, Twitter and blogs.

They don't support Blogger, so I can't comment on how simple it is to share Plinky content on blogs, but those of you who are hooked up to Facebook and Twitter are evidently covered. I looked through the prompt archive, and here's a sampling of what they've posted as challenges for the last three days:

Prompted May 28, 2013: Tell us about the most surprising helping hand you’ve ever received.

Prompted May 27, 2013: Write down the first sight, sound, smell, and sensation you experienced on waking up today. Pick the one you’re most drawn to, and write. (For a bigger challenge, pick the one you’re least drawn to.)

Prompted May 26, 2013: Tell us about something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail (and tell us why you haven’t tried it yet).

These seem like interesting topics for blogging, writing practice and/or personal journaling, and if you wanted to apply them to your fiction you might have a character answer them for you. You can also learn a lot about people by reading the answers that have been posted online by others. Speaking of that, if you don't want to share your thoughts online with others, you can visit the site to pick up the prompt of the day and simply keep your answer to yourself, so in that sense Plinky can work for anyone.

First Chapter Fever

While we were out last weekend I picked up some books by some authors (who shall remain nameless) I haven't yet read. Buying random books helps me expand my reading horizons, and about 50% of the time I get lucky and find someone I want to read again.

No such luck this time. I finished only one out of the four.

I thought I had selected a pretty good mix; the authors were a veteran, two rookies and a self-reinventor respectively. Four different genres, too. For anyone who is getting nervous, don't be. None were written by anyone I know or who drops by here, and none were published within the last two years.

I can nutshell the problems. Both debut authors apparently attended way, way, way too many writer workshops, because they put everything they learned in their first chapters. Every. Thing. The veteran was short on characterization/plot/voice/pacing/everything else and loooooong on repetitive sex scenes (I did finish that one just to see how often these people could do it without acquiring shin splints, oral abrasions or friction burns. Every twenty pages, I swear, they were at it like bunnies on Viagra.) The self-reinventor dressed up nice but didn't go anywhere but the mirror.

What all four books suffered from were different variations of First Chapter Fever. This syndrome can strike when a writer forgets about story to fixate on assumptions they've made about their readers, and (feverishly) writes to cater to those assumptions. The most common strains I've noticed are:

All-Upfront Infodumps: Typically a first chapter averages between two and five thousand words. If more than 85% of those words are an explanation of the backstory or the plot that is wearing a flimsy narrative mask, the author has broken out in a very bad case of infodumps. The writer's fear that the reader might miss some detail ends up choking the life out of the story and the reader's interest because the first chapter basically reads like a boring synopsis of the entire novel. It's a common malady among debut authors, but unfortunately not exclusive to them.

Cast Rash: These breakouts happen when every single character in the book is trotted out to be introduced to the reader. In one of the quartet I quit reading I met the H&H, their two best friends, their respective posses, the bad guy, the kind of bad guy, the two bad guys who weren't really bad guys, and another fifteen (yes, I actually counted) backstory characters. Let me get my calculator; that's (adding it up) 31 in all. In the first chapter, no less. Now, I like a big cast as much as the next series writer, but the reading experience was like standing in front of a hotel revolving door and watching people run in and out. I glimpsed some interesting-looking folks, but we didn't exactly get a chance to bond.

Time Period Pox: Commonly contracted by writers who fear their readers can't make a mental leap to the past and so attempt to shove them back via endless descriptions of story period-appropriate dates, historical figures, world events, weather conditions, architecture, clothing, technology of the time, transportation, furnishings, food, shoes, accessories, vermin, and on and on and on. This is most painful when it is incessantly delivered in the As-you-know-Bob dialogue between appropriately-dressed and coiffed characters. Any writer can catch this, but they're most vulnerable to burning up when they're writing in a new-to-them time period.

Transdermal Superiority Those who suffer from this condition seem to believe that a) they are brilliant, b) readers are morons and c) the first chapter needs to make this very, very clear. Immediate signs are clunky, complicated to incomprehensible descriptions of some manner of technology that are as exciting to read as a high school chemistry textbook written in a language other than your own, of which you understand just enough to ask where the bathroom is.

If you still don't get why a feverish first chapter is not a good thing, imagine you're at a party and you're introduced to someone new. Someone you don't know from Adam. In the first five minutes you spend talking to that stranger, do you take off all your clothes? Do you describe every single member of your family without pausing for breath? Do you insist on giving this person a narrated tour of the party's location from top to bottom? Do you prove to this poor slob how smart you are by explaining all of Einstein's theories as well as all of your theories about Einstein?

No? So why would you do the same thing in a book?

If I'm your reader, I want to start off with your characters, and what they're saying, and what they're doing -- not all of them at the same time, just the important one(s). The one(s) who will grab my interest (and it doesn't have to be a protag; I've read plenty of great stories that start off with the antagonist.) The characters I need to meet first are those who are most likely to keep me reading.

Naturally not everyone shares my prejudices or opinions, but some things are universal. I doubt you'll find a lot of readers who are mesmerized by a dark and stormy night, a cast of lemmings who rush them like they're a cliff, maps to every nook, corner and cranny seventeenth century London, or your blinding genius.

If I could ask all authors to avoid one thing in the first chapter, it's delivering a lot of story set-up. I like the screenwriters' approach; bring me into the scene as late as you possibly can. Don't worry, I'll keep up. First chapters that I consider dazzling establish a connection with me almost instantly. They make me forget that I'm reading. If you can do that, then no matter how you write it or what you put in the first chapter, I'm yours.

What do you guys like or don't like to read in a first chapter? What do you think is most likely to keep you reading? Let us know in comments.

Gen Ten

Ten Things Generated by Online Generators

Chronology of Industrial Zoology ~ Cultural Zoology ~ Industrial Engineering ~ Industrial Studies ~ National Remedial Engineering ~ Popular Experimental Politics ~ Practical Arts ~ Scientific Mathematics ~ Theoretical Chemistry ~ Theoretical Cultural Academics (Seventh Sanctum's Academic Realm Generator)

HyperFive Sound Effects ~ Siebencordings Operators ~ EnerCinco Interactive ~ 5strax ~ Pitchcordings Corp. ~ HuitAcht Recordings ~ 2record Factory ~ Unophonic Factory ~ E-AudSei Corporation ~ Sonsample Games (Namator's Company Names Generator)

The protagonist of this story is a man with charm who has dissociation as a questionable coping mechanism. On the way to the story's conclusion the protagonist encounters a boy disguised as a girl. This person has knee-high boots. Plot elements include a complicated assassination plot and swords, and at least one character is motivated because it's the only way to make things right. (Cool Bits Story Generator)

Isolde the Fair ~ Randall the Wise ~ Orella de la Reue ~ Alvar Ironside ~ Hildegard le Goix ~ Thrall Firethorn ~ Regina the Slender ~Sigbert Stonewall ~ Belia the Noble ~ Saxon the Quick (NamePistol'sMedieval M/F Name Generator)

Kelly Yamana ~ Adnan Abravenel ~ Diego Dorsey ~ Zeus Moiseev ~ Maxim Maness ~ Antoinette Meuber ~ Yolonda Green ~ Hertha Lahey ~ Elisa Macaula ~ Shinzo Hekt (Namator's People Names Generator)

Gotrodynamos Blanc ~ Hatturbanus ~ Ak' Heimtechix XV ~ Demin Miwasteen Psi ~ Neu Floraagronomic Grau ~ Dobeuki Griss ~ Alva Focktechnos 16 ~ Soleil Acculturos Jaune ~ A' Frincoros 8 ~ Osteogen Quinque (Namator's Planet Names Generator)

Using a predominantly grey color scheme, show a character in a mood of suspense. Listen to a style of music that you usually don't listen to while creating. (Random Art Prompt Generator)

Advanced Clinical Virtual Reality ~ Basic Dimensional Statistics ~ Essential Hyperspatial Law ~ Essential Terraforming ~ Future Nanotechnology ~ History of Interstellar Anthropology ~ Hyperspatial Instruction ~ Inter-Planar Business ~ Political Robotics ~ Virtual Botany(Seventh Sanctum's Science Fiction Academic Realm Generator)

It starts in a harem, with a photographer who's always in the wrong place at the wrong time. The antagonist is a modern major-general and the plot involves elements like being stuck in a confined space with something trying to kill you and railroads. (Steampunk Random Story Generator)

Agricultural Metaacoustics ~ Bioseismogenics ~ Cognitive Stereostatics ~ Environmental Ultrageography ~ Histooptics ~ Nuclear Metamathematics ~ Paraspectrostatistics ~ Polymer Cytoinformatics ~ Social Pharmacometrics ~ Zoomorphology (Seventh Sanctum's Weird Science Generator)

Added: Remember the Pseudo-Elizabethan Place Name generator that was so cool, and then disappeared a few years ago? I found it again here.

The Weird Name Game

I've been playing with the generators over at Seventh Sanctum again, and I found the Weird Name generator that doubles as a fairly decent name/title/story idea prompter, too -- or at least it does for me.

Upfront disclaimer: the generator does produce some laughably weird names, such as Marquis with a Mouth of Fire Who Inherited the Canyon of Frost (so much for his inheritance) and Frozen Monk with Lips of Emerald (where is Isabelle Allende when we need her?) But it also came up with some pretty neat stuff, too, like Duchess of the Silver Knife and Uniform of Dreaming (the latter not really being a name at all, but a terrific story starter.)

Here's a list of some other interesting weird names I generated:

The Illuminated Knight
Bow of Silence
Profane Spear
Singer in the Misery (there's the title I want for my biography)
The Astral Official
Bracers of Fire
The Screaming Walker
Chime of the Vault
The Crazed Courtesan
Winter of the Shrine

Also, some of the more ridiculous weird names had interesting story concepts incorporated in them that you might be able to use once you weed out the silly stuff, i.e.:

The Angry Hero Who Takes Shadows
King That Enables the Ever-changing Ossuary and is Bound by Eternal Dreams
The Courageous Queen Holding the Gold Cutlass and That Keeps the Labrynth of Gold
Astral Wanderer That Destroyed the Room and is Fed by the Crystal Citadel
The Cruel Inquisitor with a Mind of Zoisite Who Makes the Tower of Silence

The one that really made me laugh and would make a killer chick-lit story idea or title: Princess Orientation.

If you have a chance, head over and play with the Weird Name generator, and post what you think would make a great name, title or story idea in comments.

Tone Those Lines

For me, the toughest line to write is always the first. It's the kickoff of the story; it sets the tone and needs to be timed just right. Most book store browsers read at least the first line, so it's an important selling tool.

Because the first line is the one that makes the approach and creates the first impression, it can be viewed as the writer's version of the pickup line. The wording is important, but so is the tone. I think that's why many first lines sound so artificial or cheesy; writers get nervous and overthink the words while forgetting how they come across, i.e.:

Timid: So, you're a girl, huh?

Arrogant: Well, here I am; what were your other two wishes?

Here's a simple exercise I give students to help them out with first lines that also practices tone. I'm going to use it and some bad examples (all of which are based on actual first lines I've read but that I've paraphrased or reworded.)

Imagine for a moment that you're in a coffee shop. A cute person you'd like to tell a story to is there sitting alone, sipping a vanilla latte and looking bored. You walk up and say:

"Isn't this weather we're having just totally riveting?"

Talking about the weather is safe. It's polite. It's picturesque. You can't get into a lot of trouble opening with the weather because it is what it is and we all know what it is. No one will send you a hate-mail that starts off "I found your description of that thunderstorm completely revolting." It's no wonder weather remains the number one pick-up line most used by writers in fiction.

To me, weather is boring. It's been done to death. It has no tone. Wallpaper has more tone. And I swear, every time I read any description of the weather as the first line, I see it morph into "It was a dark and stormy night" on the page. It's up to you, but I really think we need to move on now.

"Times sure have been the best and worst lately, huh?"

Aside from the weather, nothing delivers a first line more often than General Lization. He's that big, vague, blustery old soldier that writers send to lead their story into battle. He doesn't know where he's going, he can't tell you anything of value and often he doesn't have a clue as to what the war's about. But he's harmless, and he sounds good, and everybody likes him, or so writers think (actually he's a bumbler, he sounds patronizing and readers think he's cliche.)

Whenever you feel the urge to deploy the general -- Times sure have been the best and worst lately -- ask yourself: Why? The answer is the guy who should really be commanding your first line. Then do yourself a favor; retire the general, and send him to Florida. He's earned it.

"I know this guy who knows this girl who's married to this dude who works for this other guy who dates this woman who has a cousin with a son who knows this lawyer whose client is looking for someone who can date his daughter's adopted son's best friend -- which would be me -- and I thought that might interest you."

Characters are good things. We like them. In my opinion, the more, the merrier. But to a reader, the introduction of more than one or two important characters in the first line of the story is like you bringing your entire family to the coffee shop to help you hit on her. That really the tone you want to set for your possible relationship?

Keep in mind that most people have limited memories for information, and throwing a lot of names at them is not going to impress them or help them remember who they are. Leave the clan at home and avoid turning your first line into a character dump.

"Hey, there, big boy, how would you like to hear something naughty?"

The coy first line is very flirty in tone. It flutters its eyelashes at the reader. It flashes a little cleavage. It giggles. Does it do anything else? Well, it better.

Here's the deal: the flirtation line, done properly, can be intriguing. I know of maybe a handful of writers who can make that tone work like a charm. But if it's an empty tease, sounds ridiculous or doesn't do anything for reader, it's a waste of time. Do not waste the reader's time.

Some other brief observations on frequently-used first line tones:

"You're smarter than you look, right?"

Questioning the reader's intelligence in the first line works about as well as it does in person. Don't go there.

"No one will ever, ever understand my pain."

Nor will they want to hear about it, either, if that's your first line.

"I know a lot of big, pretty, useless words that I think will impress the hell out of you, wanna hear 'em?"

About as much as we want to watch you love yourself. Pass.

"Can I tell you the story of my life?"

No. Okay? Just: no.

Also, one other problem with first lines that regularly bedevils writers is that they get stuck on them. They write and rewrite and reword and write over and yet they're never satisfied and get caught in that whole reread-rewrite-reread loop. If you can't think of a decent opening line, or can't get past the one you've written, do yourself a favor -- write this sentence as your first line:

Until I think of something better, this is how it started.

It's a prod, too. Until you think of something better, that sentence will be your working first line. Leave it there as a place holder and continue writing.

Some of the first lines I've written most recently, and why I used them:

“Know what the three greatest pleasures in life are, buddy?”

Beginning a story with a line of dialogue is a bit tricky, and a lot of writers don't like to be that forward with the reader. I thought this one was fun, though, and it poses a question that everyone would answer differently but would want to know how other people would answer. It's also a line you'd hear one guy say to another in a bar, which is where this story opens.

Only Death is immortal.

I debated this one for a long time. I wanted a powerful first line for this particular opening, which was an ancient journal entry written by a character who is prone to making provocative statements. At the same time, I worried I'd gone and recalled the general. In the end I decided to use it because it is short, it sets the tone I wanted, and I doubt I'll ever pack that much truth or irony into a mere four words again.

Luce wanted to live up to her name tonight.

I apologize in advance to every Luce out there for this one, but when this line popped in my head I couldn't resist it. It's extremely rare that I have a first line come to me on its own, evidently out of nowhere, but when it does and it's good, I run with it.

What do you wrestle with when you're composing your first lines? Do you have a favorite first line of your own? Let us know in comments.

Pacts

"To avoid having this book hurled into corner of the room by the suspicious reader, I will assert in time that this is not a newspaper story. You will encounter no shirt-sleeved, omniscient city editor, no prodigy "cub" reporter just off the farm, no scoop, no story--no anything.

But if you will concede me the setting of the first scene in the reporters' room of the Morning Beacon, I will repay the favor by keeping strictly my promises set forth above." -- O. Henry, No Story

I've always loved the way O. Henry started off this piece by deliberately making a pact with his reader. I will not hand you a lot of cardboard characters, he says, and you will forgive me for setting this in a place that breeds them. It's also a kind of warning to those readers who do expect the omniscent city editor-cub reporter-scoop sort of story: this, O. Henry says upfront, isn't it.

I remembered the O. Henry piece when I noticed that Kensington's Aphrodisia line has an easy-to-read caption on the back cover of their novels, right above the ISBN box that reads WARNING! This is a REALLY HOT book. (Sexually Explicit). I don't understand the last two words. Would we presume that REALLY HOT meant something else, like high-temperature, or stolen?

We've already done our own riff on warning labels, but if we could still get away with opening a novel by making a pact with the reader, I could imagine restarting a few of my stories, like so:

"To avoid having you waste $7.99 on this science fiction novel, please be advised that it does contain a continuing subplot icky romance between the protagonist and her lover, a character pretty much everyone hates. To you romance readers who have bravely jumped over the genre fence, I will not kill off Reever in this book or in the next, no matter how many times you e-mail me."

"To prevent you from having a hissy fit, I will assert that this is not a romance, was never a romance, and will never be a romance. I am not responsible for my publisher's erroneous marketing decisions, especially those I advised against, in the most vigorous language, many times. They told me to shut up and write books. P.S. You will encounter realistic relationships between characters who have serious flaws, but there is no happy ending, either. Deal with it."

"To knock you on your ass because you haven't a clue, this novel was ghost-written by me. What can I say, they offered me a pittance and I jumped at the chance to work. Starvation makes one do many strange things. I know all the starred reviews and stellar writeups this book got are upsetting, but we can pretend that I didn't write it. That way no one will ever know you gave me five stars for this when you swore you'd trash every book I write for eternity."

What sort of pact opening would you make with your reader?