Monday, November 03, 2014

NaNoisms Ten

Ten Things Writers Say, and What They Really Mean

(The NaNoWriMo edition)

Come and be my NaNo writing buddy?

Don't make me go through this insanity alone. Please. I'm begging here.

Finally, a chance to do some real writing!

Finally, a chance to lock myself in the spare bedroom, turn down my computer speakers and play Candy Crush for three hours.

I don't yet have a title for my NaNo novel.

I'm not telling you the title of my NaNo novel because it's so good you'll steal it and tell everyone you thought it up and get published and then I'll have to one-star review and face in all your novels at the bookstore for the rest of my life.

I join in NaNoWriMo every year because I love it.

I hate this. Why did I do this to myself again? Because I'm crazy. Seriously. Calling the therapist as soon as I get my 1667 words for the day done. I swear.

I love all my friends cheering me on and encouraging me to write.

I'm Tuckerizing and then brutally slaughtering the next ass who asks me if I'm done yet.

My wordcount? I don't know, somewhere in the high five digits.

If you use two decimal places.

Once I finish NaNoWriMo I'm going to edit my novel and submit it to a publisher.

Once I finish NaNoWriMo I'm going to take this stack of crap into the backyard and burn it. Unless you read it for me, and love it to pieces, and tell me I'm the greatest writer who ever lived. Because I am. Look, just promise read it and lie to me, okay?

This is all I wanted to do in November.

This will get me out of all the lame holiday stuff my parents want me to do in November.

Writing a novel in 30 days is the most fun you can have as a writer.

Actually, no. It's gloating over the remainder titles at the Dollar Store, putting in fifteen requests under fake names for your own book at the local library, then sitting and pretending to write in the cafe where that really cute barista can watch you battle your non-existant literary demons. And there should be M&Ms in there somewhere. Like a pound of M&Ms.

You're not joining in? But you'll miss out!

Talk me out of this, please. Hurry.

6 comments:

  1. bluebamboo7:45 AM

    #2 and #3 cracked me up! Those two and the wordcount one were all I ever said (and didn't say, lol) the years I did NaNo.

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  2. LOL! YES, to all of those!

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  3. Keita Haruka3:03 PM

    #5! Oh. Hell. YES!

    #10 Yes well. Right now, I'm happy and excited that I listened to your peptalk and joined in. By day 10, I'll probably be cursing you to the nearest hell, and then, when I pass the dreaded 37,000 mark, I'll perk up again, and by 50,000 be ready to nominate you for sainthood. :P

    Ugh...as for titles...I am epically bad at them, but something will occur to me at some point.

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  4. LOL - my version.

    Come and be my NaNo writing buddy? - nag me please, cause otherwise the words will get me.

    Finally, a chance to do some real writing! - Guess I just lost all my reasons to avoid it huh

    I don't yet have a title for my NaNo novel. - Well I do, but Crap Title Here doesn't really sell well.

    I join in NaNoWriMo every year because I love it. - I'm a masochist - your point?

    I love all my friends cheering me on and encouraging me to write. - someone cheer me please? make me finish this bloody thing.

    My wordcount? I don't know, somewhere in the high five digits. - Wait we were suppose to count words, I thought it was characters.
    Once I finish NaNoWriMo I'm going to edit my novel and submit it to a publisher. - after my mother shreds it, then my writing group, then my husband, and then my editor. Then if I can still see between the tears I might think about it.

    This is all I wanted to do in November. - And they choose November why? Do they know how many stupid work things pop up in November. The want me to go insane, it's a way to reduce the competition isn't it?

    Writing a novel in 30 days is the most fun you can have as a writer. - If you can pull this off, the whole I can't write 500 words a day excuse kinda falls flat. Ultimate suck it up to yourself.

    You're not joining in? But you'll miss out! - Umm... you're the one who got me doing this crazy thing. You better start writing, or I'm going to hurt you.

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  5. Anonymous12:47 AM

    Too true. I keep hoping my friends will talk me out of it but some of them are more excited about me competing in Nanwrimo than I am. How can that be?

    Ron B

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  6. ... putting in fifteen requests under fake names for your own book at the local library

    Geez...I never thought of that! :D

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