Ten Things Writers Swear They'll Never Do as Pros
1. Allow a publisher to slap a title/cover art/back copy on the novel that makes you break out in hives, puke, or lock yourself in a dark room so you can weep for twenty-four hours straight.
2. Argue against and then cave in and go along with an inappropriate/ridiculous/supremely stupid marketing idea for a series just to get the damn thing in print.
3. Cast a thinly-veiled version of an agent/editor/former writer friend as an idiot/red shirt/traitor in a book.
4. Date a fan because it was easier to get them to show up on time.
4a. Take a fan as a date to an awards banquet because they wolf-whistle if you win, or cause a commotion and shout "That's complete bullshit!" if you don't.
4b. Marry the president of your fan club because, well, let's just not go there.
5. Lie about where you got the title for a story so no one else would raid your secret well.
6. Take crap from anyone, period.
7. Tell an editor what you really think about their great idea when they ask, "Give me your honest opinion."
8. Throw up from nerves in a bookstore manager's office trash can just before a booksigning.
9. Use the eff word, the cee word, and the other cee word.
10. Write a blunt, factual memoir about your experiences in Publishing and name everyone who messed with you, including the people who still think you don't know it was them.
Let's see, I've broken about half of those so far. What are some of your writer vows, breakable or otherwise?