I spend a couple hours on the road every day of the week hauling the kids back and forth to school, and I see a lot of interesting bumperstickers. The other day I spotted a skull-n-crossbones sticker that read The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves. It was on this cute little car in front of me at the pick-up line at school. I bet that mom doesn't get any grief when she says it's time to do geometry homework.
Publishing does not seem to merit bumperstickers, or if it does, I've never seen them. I think we need to fix that, because who says we're not as hostile, anti-social and demented as the liberals, conservatives, armchair warriors and anti-Bushies out there?
A couple I might put on my truck:
And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion of my novel would be?
Bitch about Harry Potter being over one more time and you'll be my new hood ornament.
Do not rush me. I have an editor to do that.
I am not unemployed. I'm between contract offers.
I bought a sword to research the fight scenes in my fantasy novel, and I'm not afraid to use it.
If you ride my ass, you had better be writing me an advance check.
I pretend to write great novels. They pretend to pay me for them.
Let me guess: you write inspirational chick-lit.
May your debut be released in interesting times.
Your book is a temple. Mine is an amusement park.
What would your Publishing bumpersticker say?