Let's Try Something

I was thinking of bringing back the Friday 20 once a month, and I'm curious to see if you guys would find it of any value. I know in the past I covered a lot of questions (see the Index for the old Q&A's) but we have some new people who have joined our merry irreverent band since I discontinued it, and maybe they'd like to give it a go.

Okay, I miss it, too. That was one of my favorite days of the week.

I don't know if it's worth resurrecting, but at the very least we'll have a trial run today and see how many folks participate. So, anyone have any writing- or publishing-related questions you'd like me to answer? Post them in comments.

Graphic credit: © Yellowj | Dreamstime.com

Catch Up

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, I figure you're all crazy about me now.

I do apologize for my absence. We are all well. Aside from a plethura of technical problems, there are things that come before PBW, like family and work, and for the last week they needed me to be elsewhere. Tom has been upgrading my security software and tinkering on some other things behind the scenes (for which I am very grateful.)

Posting will continue to be sparse as I clean up and catch up here. I hope to have things back on schedule in a week or so. Thanks for all the e-mails, comments and other demonstrations of concern.

So what's up with you guys? Anyone have any news from their corner of the planet?

Archiving the Friday 20

This week I want to get some feedback from you all and finalize what to do with the Friday 20 archives.

A couple of the RSS Feed people out there asked for the Q&A to be copied to a new post so they could read them more easily. I think it's a good idea. What if I copy the comments to a separate blog devoted just to posts with Friday 20 Q&As?

Also, I'd like to index the questions that have already been asked by topic, so that we can avoid some repeats and have an easier way to find specific Q&As. Here's how I thought I'd do the index, with topic headers and the questions listed by date order (the Q: is a link to the original question, and the Answer is a link to my response):

-----------------------------------------------------------
Characters

Q: What do you do when your characters don't want to behave? Answer

Dialogue

Q: Any suggestions on how to practice my dialogue writing skills? Answer

Plot

Q: How much do you plot out before you write? Answer

Self-Promotion

Q: How did you figure out what works for you and what do you suggest to help me figure out what works for me? Answer

The Writing Life

Q: Is there any advice you can give me about getting negative feelings out of my head, so I can get those last words on the page, and submitted, etc etc. Answer

-----------------------------------------------------------

It'll take a while to get everything sorted out and linked for the index, as there are currently 64 Friday 20 posts to go through, but once I catch up to the present, I can add new Q&A's to the index weekly. I only have to create a Friday 20 archive blog and cut and paste everything over there.

Time for feedback: Are the above the simplest/easiest/most useful ways to do the RSS Feed and the index, or would you guys rather see it done differently, or not at all? Let me know what you think in comments.

Friday 20

Running late today -- sorry, folks -- and I'm not in love with the final draft of the post I had planned, so I'm scrapping that.

Last week I made a trip to Pearl, the only decent art supply house within fifty miles of my home, and picked up some Japanese watercolors and my new playtoys, Prismacolor art pencils. I bought a small set, a tin of 48 with two bonus packs thrown in, but they had some monster 100+ sets, too. I can't sketch very well anymore, but these pencils have such a nice, smooth laydown of color that they don't require a lot of pressure. The pencils blend well, are not particularly brittle, and come in just about every color you could possible want. I'm going to use them to clean up some lines on my watercolors.

As obsessed as most of us are with writing and publishing, having hobbies outside the realm of the industry is a good thing. Outside interests keep the well filled and us from getting burned out. Every time I paint or sew or garden, I can think about work, or I can forget about it for a while.

Not that I can always escape work even on a trip to the art store. While I was at Pearl's I got into a conversation with another watercolorist, who steered me toward the book section and showed me The Tao of Watercolor by Jeanne Carbonetti. There seems to be a Tao of . . . book for everything these days, but this one contained both beautiful artwork and some useful techniques. I like to read art books, not only for the content but to see how they're put together by the artist/author. You never know, someday a publisher will need a How to Paint Swallows That Look Like Big Fat Flying Turkeys art book and ask me to write it.

That's all from my corner of sometimes-painting, sometimes-writing world. You all have any questions this week?

Friday 20

I have to thank author Dawn Thompson, who doesn't know me from Adam but still won a charity bet for me with the title of her new paranormal romance, The Brotherhood. A very nice donation will go out to the Make-A-Wish foundation, courtesy of my opponent, who probably won't scoff at my powers as the Trend Oracle any more.

Today I'd also like to discuss the future of the Friday 20. I started this weekly Q&A feature about a year and a half ago, as an evolved form of the old Friday night Think Tank chat sessions I used to moderate over at FMwriters.com. Offering ideas on how to tackle writing- and publishing-related problems is fun for me, and I hope has proven helpful to you.

This week, I'd like you to answer some questions:

Should I keep the Friday 20 feature on PBW?

Are there any ways I can make it better?

Would you rather have a new focus topic each week, or keep it open for any?

Would you be interested in having some guest authors stop by to answer your questions?

There's one more problem with this feature that I'd like to resolve. Whatever we post here can be read by anyone, and as you've seen some people who come here are not our friends or colleagues. If you have a sensitive question that can in any way be used as ammunition against you, don't post it. Send it to me at LynnViehl@aol.com with a subject line of Private Comment, and I'll answer it via e-mail.

Friday 20

Yesterday I went out to weed and found some uninvited pests hanging around the edge of the garden:



This is just a close up shot; eight mushrooms in all had sprouted up (bad weather has kept me from my routine weeding rounds.) Two had already grown to the size of cake plates.

I hate mushrooms. They're repulsive, invasive and worthless, and still they sprout up wherever and whenever they please. Like they own my garden. Every time we weather a bad storm, we get hit with plagues of them. The only thing uglier than how they look is the way they smell.

They're dangerous, too. I never know how poisonous they might be, and I worry about the one airheaded member of this household who refuses to stay away from them:



Picking mushrooms also disgusts me. Even with weeding gloves on, I hate to touch them. You know the slimy way they feel, and the creepy sounds they make when you pull them out of the dirt? That's my definition of gross. I'm not the girly, squeamish type, either, but I'd rather handle ten snakes instead.

But to let them squat in my garden? That would be worse.

Anyway, after I trashed the unwelcome parasites, I went to inspect an ailing rose bush. It's one that I've been trying to keep alive for years, and it is the most stubborn, cranky, depressed, suicidal plant I've ever had to deal with. Every time I prune it, I'm convinced I'm going to do it in for good. Plus it hardly ever blooms, and when it does I get maybe one or two flowers from it.

But oh, when it does:



The pink and apricot flowers it produces are like those wonderful old Victorian roses. They don't last long, only two or three days, but their scent is so powerful that one rose perfumes an entire room.

It doesn't seem fair that my rose bush will never grow as fast or thrive the way those idiot mushrooms do. One day I'll walk out and probably find the mushrooms clustered and feeding on the dead rose bush. Still, I'm not ready to give up the fight. I know what that bad-tempered bush can produce, and that makes it worth my nurturing. Just as all the mushrooms will ever get out of me is a fast trip to the trash bin.

That's it from my corner of the publishing garden this week. You all have any questions for me?

Friday 20

Using humor to promote a novel can get through to readers who are bored with the usual "Love me, love my book" approach. People remember you when you make them laugh, and they generally appreciate you for it, too.

Here's a letter I wrote for Borders Group, Inc., which was supposed to be published in one of their May e-mail reader monthly newsletters (have no idea if it was, actually):
-----------------------------------------------
I loved reading comic books when I was a kid, and often had a crush on some larger-than-life figure whose job it was to save the world. I'm pretty sure that I spent most of the sixth grade writing “Lynn + Aquaman” inside little hearts in my notebook.

As I got older, however, I realized that what makes a great hero would probably make him a lousy boyfriend. For example:

1. Batman: only wants to play with his gadgets.

2. Captain America: refuses to wear anything that isn’t red, white and blue.

3. Iron Man: can’t take long romantic walks in the rain.

4. Spiderman: always picks fights with your exterminator.

5. Superman: faster than a speeding bullet? Pass.

6. The Incredible Hulk: always looks queasy or jealous.

7. Wolverine: Cuddling shouldn’t require a trip to the E.R. afterward.

In my novel “Night Lost,” the hero, Gabriel Seran, belongs to the Darkyn, my vampire-like immortals who have unusual psychic powers. If you don’t think a vampire would make a good boyfriend, consider this:

He won’t mind if you have a day job.
He never has garlic breath.
He doesn’t need to rent a costume for your Halloween party.
You don’t have to worry about what to make him for dinner.

Vampires may not be traditional heroes, but they certainly keep things interesting for me. I hope this month that you’ll pick up a copy of “Night Lost” and discover a whole new breed of hero: one who just might keep you occupied all through the night.
--------------------------------------

Besides climbing onto my little soapbox and making the case for other-than-traditional heroes, I felt more comfortable writing a mild parody about superheroes than blathering on and on about my novel. It may seem like a waste of publicity space to the purists, but I think my letter has a better chance of establishing rapport with a reader versys the author who writes the typical phony I'm SURE you'll love reading my WONDERFUL novel as much as I ADORED writing it for you, tee-hee!

Besides, I already know that you'll love reading my wonderful novel. :)

That's all from my corner of publishing this week. Are there any questions out there for me?

Friday 20

"However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are richest. The fault-finder will find faults even in paradise. Love your life, poor as it is. You may perhaps have some pleasant, thrilling, glorious hours, even in a poor-house. The setting sun is reflected from the windows of the alms-house as brightly as from the rich man's abode; the snows melts before its door as early in the spring. I do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there, and have as cheering thoughts, as in a palace."

--Henry David Thoreau, from Walden, or Life in the Woods

Thoreau knew how mean life could be. He was 44 years old when he died of tuberculosis in 1862. He never made any money as a writer during his brief lifetime. To write his first book, he went and lived alone in the woods for two years, in a small cabin that belonged to a friend by a pond called Walden. I'm sure some of Thoreau's friends tried to talk him out of it. I can almost hear them saying "In a hundred years, who will care?"

I first read Walden when I was a teenager. In it I found answers to questions I'd never been able to ask anyone, mainly because I didn't know any other writers. By that time I was so disgusted with school that I would have jumped in front of a speeding truck before I'd ask an English teacher something.

Thoreau's work was not particularly kind. His truths were painful. He didn't mince words, or bother to suck up to anyone, even the people who might have helped him. Shrewd and blunt as he was, he reached a part of me no adult ever had, and changed a surly kid's despair into determination. And Henry, it's been one hundred and forty-five years, but I still care.

That's all from my corner of the writing world this week, folks. Got any questions for me?

Friday 20

I have to apologize -- I thought I had posted the winner of the Mindtracks giveaway, but for some reason Blogger decided it was a draft instead of an entry, which is why it never showed up on the blog. We actually did get out the magic hat earlier this week, and the winner is:

Heather

Heather, when you have a chance, e-mail your musicwish and ship-to information to LynnViehl@aol.com so I can get your winnings out to you, and thanks to everyone for sharing your musical inspirations.

Last week I was rearranging the filing cabinets when I came across the final manuscript for Blade Dancer, my first SF novel published in hardcover. Finding an old manuscript can be like thumbing through an old photo album; you sit down and fondly reminisce about the good old days. I felt a little startled by the date; five years ago I sent off this massive pile of paper to become a book.

Like the StarDoc novels, Blade Dancer sold well, and eventually came out in a mass market edition, which is still in print. Unfortunately, it was published just as Ace took over the Roc imprint, and most of my SF landed on the backburner. BD became a casualty of the move. The seven other novels I had planned to write about Jory and crew went into the Someday File and I moved on to other things.

Not much has happened with BD on the publishing front over the last five years, but behind the scenes, the book slowly gathered a following among high school and college students. These kids began writing to me, and oddly enough there were few demands for more BD novels. They had plenty of questions about the characters, however, as well as the HouseClans, Tarek Varena, journey philosophy, and the fighting arts involved in the story. Gamers, RPGers and graphic novel readers also seemed to like the novel a lot. So did fans of the Highlander television series. Many went on to read my StarDoc novels because of BD.

The continuing popularity did puzzle me for a while, until I realized that Blade Dancer's longevity is due to the willingness of booksellers to keep SF in stock for many months or even years. I see copies of this five-year-old book in stores that don't stock my books in other genres that were published only five months ago.

I can't really say if I will ever publish in print another short story, novella or novel about Jory and the crew. I know what happens to them far beyond the timeline of the novel, of course; I did outline seven more books about them. I wouldn't mind jumping back into their part of the StarDoc universe, either, and it's something to think about as a future project, possibly after I finish up StarDoc. But for now, Blade Dancer will go on as it has for the last five years; one of my quiet, out-of-sight successes.

I will celebrate BD's five year anniversary by drawing five names at random from everyone who responds to this post in comments today by midnight EST, and send the winners a signed mass market edition of Blade Dancer. You can ask me a question as always on Friday, or just throw your name in the hat. Giveaway open to everyone on the planet even if you've won something here in the past, etc.

So what's up with you guys?

Friday 20

I'm making a late start again today; sorry, folks. The Dragon does not like me congested, and this week has been interpreting nearly everything I say as something you could sing to the tune of Camptown Ladies: I'd aching a laid dart a gain do day, doodah, doodah.

A couple of RWA writers have e-mailed to ask if they can pass around my old post, Why PAN was the God of Sheep, in response to the latest RWA mess. (Note: Edited to clarify, as I am not part of the Creative Commons crowd) As with anything from the blog, you may e-mail my posts as long as it's not for profit and you give me byline credit or link love. Fair use excerpts are fine, too.

If you don't buy into it, elitism in the industry is always entertaining. Ranking systems are rarely objective, especially when competitive human beings looking for shortcuts are involved, but they play on the almost universal lack of self-esteem writers suffer, and then the pissing contests commence. Groups like the the Borg are particularly gifted at this sort of infighting, but the nature of publishing encourages group hostility and professional cannabalism.

Imagine that the industry is a bake sale, and this is all about who makes the prettiest cupcakes, and then you can see how trivial it is.

That's all from my sniffly corner of publishing this week. Anyone out there have any questions for me?

Virtual Workshop Requests

Today is the first day of summer vacation for my kids, and I promised that I would unplug and spend it with them, so no Friday 20 this week.

Last year during the week of RWA's National Conference, I did a series of virtual workshops and giveaway goodie bags for those left behind. We had a great time, covered a lot of writing territory, and never had to eat mystery chicken or leave the comfort of our pajamas or our computer chairs.

I'd like to do that again this year, if you all are interested, because I'm annoying that way. I have some ideas on improving it, too, like maybe browbeating persuading some other authors who aren't attending into joining in wth virtual workshops on their blogs. Like those authors* who nailed me with memes this past year, and who thought I was kidding when I said I would get even.

As before, I'd like to find out what topics would be of the most interest and value to you. So think it over, if you would, and share your suggestions on topics, type of workshops or whatever comes to mind in comments to this post.

*Yes, Jordan and Shiloh, you're first on the browbeating list.

Friday 20

I have a couple of bird houses and feeders, and while the squirrels help themselves to most of the seed I put out, we still get quite a few feathered visitors. The feeders are on poles in the yard, and the birdhouses are under our roof eaves. At the moment we have a male and female cardinal nesting in the oak tree (apparently the females are not red; they're shaped just like the male, but are brown and yellow and grayish in color.)

The cardinals and all the other birds who visit have been snubbing my birdhouses. Sometimes other things move in, but mostly they stay empty. We clean them out every couple of months to get rid of mud dauber nests and lizard droppings, but I was thinking about taking them down this summer and putting up squirrel-proof feeders instead.

After three weeks of road trips and my friend's funeral, I came home and went out to sit on my porch and enjoy Nature as usual. I also brought the camera out with me in hopes of getting a shot of Red and his lady. Almost as soon as I sat down, I heard very faint, high-pitched cheeping coming from someplace close. I looked around for the cardinals or another nest-jumper, and then jumped as a small, beautiful blue bird with an orange breast flew right past my face. I'd never seen a bird like it before, so I grabbed the camera and took this rather blurry shot:



The green thing in her beak was a worm. The cheeping sound I'd been hearing suddenly got very loud, and then Mama Blue went inside the birdhouse. While we were gone, she'd moved in and hatched her eggs. From the cheeps, I figured at least two or three chicks.

We've stayed a safe distance and not bothered them, but I've kept the camera handy in hopes of another shot. Mama is wise to me now and won't perch outside for long, but this past weekend one of the chicks decided to have a look outside:



So why am I so excited about some blue birds? See, I used to have this blue glass bird paperweight on my desk. It was a daily reminder to find happiness in the little things. A few years ago I decided to give the paperweight to another writer who had lost everything. Sometimes you have to open your heart as well as the wallet. And I thought about that, too, when I saw Mama Blue had moved in. Maybe I needed the reminder. Or maybe she was desperate and the frog had moved out. Either way.

That's all from my corner of the world this week. Anyone have some questions for me?*

*Added: would help if the comments were turned on, yes? Sorry about that.

Friday 20

As I was packing up the trunk of my car with photo albums on Wednesday, and wondering what else I should take in case the wildfire creeping toward us decides to fry my house, the telephone rang.

It was, I thought, Mom. Calling to tell me someone was in the hospital, or one of her dogs was sick, or subtropical storm Andrea had strengthened and was heading our way, or something else to add just a little more delight to my week.

It was my very busy editor. She never calls unless she has a publishing fire she needs me to put out. No doubt she wanted me to send in my revisions yesterday, or approve cover copy in fifteen minutes, or finally write a decent bio because the ten-word one I have on file is annoying the Powers That Be.

Frankly, I wasn't happy to hear her voice. Florida is carpeted in flames and smoke, hurricane season decided to start a month early, I'm trying to fit forty-six years of memories in a trunk slightly smaller than a hamster's cage. At the same time, I knew I'd do whatever she wanted, and began envisioning myself on the laptop at a turnpike rest stop, typing up whatever she wanted by the soft orange glow of my town burning in the distance.

My editor said hello, how are you, and Night Lost made #21 on the New York Times extended bestseller list.

Look, I started to say, my state is on fire . . . and then I sat down on the riding lawn mower. I think I said What? a few times.

It was, indeed, The Call.

My editor talked and laughed and said a lot of very nice things. I have absolutely no recollection of what they were, but she's a lovely person, so I know they were nice.

It took me ten years of weekly submissions, twenty-eight manuscripts and over thirteen hundred straight rejections before I received my first offer. And yeah, like most rookies, I daydreamed about my debut novel becoming a huge, overnight success and showing up on the NYT BSL. I felt the same way about the second one, and the third, and the tenth, and the fourteenth. Hope, even the wild pie-in-the-sky variety, only goes so far. After I'd published twenty novels, I stopped daydreaming. Obviously, it wasn't going to happen.

I didn't mind. In some ways, it was a relief, because by that time I'd dropped out of sight, got rid of all my author clothes, and just stayed home and wrote books. I've always wanted to be a paperback writer, and I am, and that is the world to me. More than that would have been very nice, but c'est la vie.

That's what I told my agent earlier this week, when she cautiously mentioned that I might, could possibly, in the remotest sense of the word, have a shot at the Times. We've been there before, I reminded her (at one very high point, Dark Need was the 18th bestselling mass market fiction novel in the country.) We've been told by authors who have done it that books get on the list do it by writers placing bulk orders or by signing at the stores the Times use for their stats. I won't do that, therefore it will never happen to one of my novels. I'd be honored and beyond satisfied with my novel making any spot on the USA Today top 150.

So here we are. I can't call myself a NYT bestselling author until I crack the top fifteen (my publisher is rather strict about this), but like I'm going to complain. And while part of me still expects the publishing version of Ashton Kutcher to show up on my doorstep today with a handheld cam and tell me that I've been punk'd, I've seen the printed list, and it doesn't look like a typo.

It is real, and it does happen, and we're not crazy to hope. That's what I want you to remember when you're a paperback writer.

Any questions out there for me this week?

Friday 20

What a week. Aside from Night Lost jumping the release date gate, I had five straight days under my own roof, the exact amount of time I needed to catch up on my housework. A five-month-past-due advance payment arrived just in time to pay for the new well pump we needed, also much appreciated. No road trip for me this weekend, either, so I can do something besides pack, unpack, and investigate strange bathroom fixtures and wake-up-call procedures.

I still have to figure out how to make three pig masks out of pink craft foam (my daughter is the school skit prop girl), give everyone with fur their flea/heartworm treatments, weed the garden when the smoke isn't bad, convince a black racer to move out of the garage (he's currently curled up behind the water heater) and catch up on a thousand writing-related things before Monday. I don't mind at all. Simply being able to cook my own food and sleep in my own bed feels like a luxury.

Some questions I haven't gotten around to answering yet via e-mail:

There are wildfires burning all around our region, but most in our area are under control. At times the smoke is pretty bad, but we're keeping the kids indoors and keeping a close eye on the news. We have a couple of acres of cleared land around us and other resources to use to protect our home, so even if the fire came right here we're relatively safe. We're also ready to live without power, water or access to town (hurricane season prep for next month) and we will evacuate if ordered to go.

I'm not getting involved in The Current Romance Hoopla. My post for Kate was written for fun before this happened. As for the hoopla itself, I've privately made my feelings known to the person I care about in the situation, and that's all I want to do. Unless she wants me to do more, in which case, I might put together a scorching parody. But not this weekend. This weekend, I have pig masks to make and pets to dose.

I am cleaning up work today, and then I'm going to start on e-mail. Tommy is going to talk me through uploading the critiques I owe people, since everything I'm doing is not working. I'm devoting the weekend to getting it all out of here, and if we can't figure out what I did wrong, I'll send hard copies to everyone I owe them to.

That's all the grumbling and complaining I can manage. My guy and my lovely bed are calling my name, so I'll be back in the morning. Got any questions for me this week?

Friday 20

Answer the Anonymous E-mail
(A multiple-choice game)

How to play: Read the e-mail, then choose the best response.

I. The Confrontational Copycat

Dear Blog Owner:

I am writing this to inform you that I have started a new blog named Paperback Seller/Paperback Reviewer/Paperback Collector/Paperback Basher/Paperback Copy-Editor/Paperback Critic. I love the Beatles, I have been thinking about using this name for two/four/six/twenty years and it's my Constitutional right to use it. This has nothing to do with the traffic you get at PBW that you really don't deserve, because I think your blog is terrible. But since the names are conflicting you should change yours, because I'm not changing mine.

Sincerely,
Anonymous Blogger

P.S. Henceforth I shall be known as PBS/PBR/PBC/PBB/PBC-E/PBC, so you should also stop using the acronym PBW.

Your response:

A) Ignore
B) Change the name of your blog
C) Respond with a refusal that is very polite, but will piss off the recipient anyway, who will write her next post about you being an angry, hateful jerk out to ruin her new blog.
D) Other: [fill in your answer]

II. I Am a Complete Stranger to You, But I Read All Your Books, Therefore We Have A Close, Personal Relationship

Dear Writer:

I read your blog every day, and I know you hate me....

Sincerely,
Anonymous Person You Don't Know

Your response:

A) Ignore
B) Respond with an honest, polite denial and hope the stalking doesn't escalate
C) Remember every scene from Swim Fan as you're changing your name, dyeing your hair, and packing to move to another city
D) Other: [fill in your answer]

III. Stalker Type B: The Paranoid Writer You've Never Heard of Who Believes You're Badmouthing Her/Him

You Witch:

You think I don't know you were writing about me last week? You thought you were being clever by referring to me only as THE ROOKIE, but my novel has the word AND in the title, so I KNEW you were bashing me. You're out to get me now, is that it? Well, it isn't going to work. You're just jealous because you know I'm the BETTER WRITER. I know it, too, although I'd never STOOP to read any of the DRECK you write. I'm going to badmouth you to your editor, my editor, everyone I know and at every conference I go to for the rest of my life. You might as well QUIT writing now, because your career is OVER.

Signed,
Florid Pseudonym

Your response:

A) Ignore
B) Respond with an honest, polite denial that the rookie will misquote to their advantage forever
C) Remember every scene from Disclosure and take an Excedrin as you dust off your old CV and wonder if the Pentagon will consider novel-writing a real profession
D) Other: [fill in your answer]

How to win Answer the Anonymous E-mail game: You can't.

On questions this week: I'm going to be out most of the day, so my answers will probably be delayed until this evening, or I may have to carry it over into Saturday. But I will answer what I can, so ask away.

Friday 20

Dracoola
Fangtacy
No Bark All Bite
Immortal Studmuffin
Your Coffin or Mine?

I've been doing a little market research for an article I'm writing about genre trends. And I don't know about you guys, but I am now, officially, sick to death of vampire romances with cute pun titles.

Before anyone blows a gasket, I'm not pointing fingers at any author in particular. Have you seen the number of pun titles out there? I don't own that many fingers. Neither does the National Guard.

I'm also know I'm being unreasonable. I admit it. I'm well aware that half the time authors don't even get to pick out the titles for our books. Remember whose novel got slapped with The Kissing Blades? Believe me, I feel your pain.

But for the love of Vlad, I simply CANNOT DEAL WITH IT ANY MORE.

I hate stereotyping anything, so I tried to figure out why I'm having such a strong negative reaction to vampire romance pun titles. I didn't mind it when the chicklit writers started the pun title trend. I thought they were cute and content-appropriate.

I guess the subject matter is the problem. Vampires were my personal bogeymen when I was very young (thanks to Bela Lugosi movies), and then I became entranced by their mythology as a preteen (watching Dark Shadows after school.) I didn't grow up with more humorous spins on the vampire mythology like Buffy or Love at First Bite. The first vampire novels I read were by Anne Rice and Stephen King, and you know what a laugh-a-minute those two are.

To me, vampires were always the ultimate in dark, mysterious, tragic, poetic, doomed characters. Puns just never entered into that equation, which is probably why I find them so jolting as titles.

A reader's personal history and preferences, just like mine with vampire mythology, tends to heavily influence their opinions of a novel. No doubt a lot of the Buffy generation of writers think serious vampire fiction is old, stodgy and boring because there are no cute little blondes running around kicking vampire ass all through the book. Just as plenty of the old, stodgy and boring vampire writers think that Buffy is silly and trite.

The thing that is so cool about genre is that there is more than enough room for any sort of title, any type of writer, and any kind of story. If your next vampire romance novel is titled The Story of O Positive, there are plenty of readers out there who will think it's a hoot.

Just don't tell me about it for a while. Please. I need a rest.

That's all from my corner of the writing world this week. What's up with you guys? Any questions out there for me?

Winners & Friday 20

Getting a bit of a late start today -- first up, the winners of the For the Readers giveaway are:

Ann -- Into the Fire

Julie Doe -- Dark Need

Winners, please send your full name and ship-to address to LynnViehl@aol.com so I can get your winnings out to you. Thanks to everyone for the congrats on Plague of Memory, too.

For the benefit of new visitors and lurking media, every Friday (when I'm not having a domestic crisis, a tantrum, or a power outtage) I open up the blog for a Q&A session until midnight EST. You ask a writing- or publishing-related question, I try to answer or point you in the right direction. Originally I limited the number of questions to twenty, which over time we've pretty much ignored. If you don't have a question this week, feel free to post advice or answers for any of the other commenters.

I don't moderate or censor comments, and while we've had a few disagreements here and there, flame wars don't happen. Occasionally a disgruntled writer or reviewer shows up to shriek at me, but they usually slither off after venting, and I'm sure they feel better for it (can I claim that as a public service?) As always, I reserve the right to delete SPAM, and ignore the media and people who come here for any reason other than to hang out with my regular visitors and talk about books, writing and publishing.

That's it -- any questions out there?

In Lieu of Friday 20

I'm going to be on the road for most of the day today, so no Friday 20 this week.

Some random thoughts on the biz:

It is inaccurate to call winners of any award "the best in the genre" unless every person in the entire genre competes for said award. However, I doubt you'll ever see a genre trophy awarded that reads "the nicest, most popular members of our writing organization who mailed in their entry fee before we reached our cut-off limit" or "the most devoted campaigner, vote-beseecher and ass-smoocher, regardless of writing ability" or "for those who couldn't win an award until they found a way to automatically disqualify those who always beat them."

There was once a writer who wrote more than two million words during his life. Out of all that, he put out a single book (essentially self-published) that sold maybe 200 copies. The poor guy never made a living as a writer and had to do things like make pencils to keep from starving. After his death, more of his work was published and was read and beloved by such trivial lightweight fanboys as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Ghandi. As Henry David Thoreau would doubtless tell you, success is nice, but immortality cannot be bought.

Finally, booksignings have really changed since I used to do them. A friend of mine recently called her local bookstore to find out what time an author doing a signing would be there. She was given the time, and then sternly warned of the following:

1) she was not to bring any copies to the store to be signed; the Very Important Author would only sign books bought at that store during the signing, limit one per person;

2) the Very Important Author would not make out the book in my friend's name, but would only sign it, and

3) there was no guarantee that if my friend waited in line for hours (which she should expect to) that she would actually get a signed book before the store ran out of copies.

My friend did not attend the booksigning. However, she did consign all the copies she had of the author's books to the local landfill, and is now telling everyone she knows what a Very Important Jackass this author is. I'm puzzled. The author is about equal to me, fame-wise, so this VIP stuff is pure posturing. That and back when I did signings, we tried not to treat the fans who came out to see us like snot. Guess I'm behind the times again.

Have a good weekend.

Friday 20, The Turnabout/Fairplay Edition

I won't be here for most of the day so the bone doc can see how well I'm flexing/standing/walking/balancing. Some repeatedly falling on my butt will probably be involved, too. The U.S. Olympic committee is simply going to have to look elsewhere for their next star pole vaulter.

While I'm off letting strange men attach electrodes to me and feel up my leg, I have some questions for you this week. If you're inclined, please answer in comments any or all of the following:

1. Contests (where you compete in some fashion for the prize) versus giveaways (where you win a prize by random draw): which do you prefer?

2. Other than books, what would you like to see offered in PBW giveaways?

3. Virtual workshops: which do you think you would find most useful -- 1) a live virtual workshop as we've done in the past here at the blog, 2) an e-book formatted workshop with exercises that you can download and read at home, 3) a live workshop conducted online in a chatroom, ot 4) other (please include details.)

4. Writers, what industry info can I and other publishing bloggers offer that will actually help you with your career?

5. Readers, would you like to see a weekly post at PBW featuring book news (mine and other authors), inside information on my novels, and freebies geared more toward the reader? If yes, would Wednesday work for you?

Thanks in advance for any insight you'd like to share.

Friday 20, Maybe

We're under another tornado watch here until 2 am EST. Places north of us are getting hammered. Any decent storm knocks out our electricity here, so if I'm not back soon, it's because I'm lighting candles and trying to figure out what to cook on the gas grill for dinner. I'll catch up when the power permits.

Also, just to note -- today I caught up with responding to the many, interesting comments on the Is That Your Self-Promo in My Face, Or...
post.

I'm going to cut this short so I can post it before the next light flickers. Any questions for me?