Dragon Therapy

In between monster writing & editing sessions, I'm reading Kiss of Fire, the first novel in Deborah Cooke's Dragonfire series (I went and bought the first two in the series, as promised) and feeling very glad I did. As I suspected, the first novel in the series sets up the author's world-building for me in increments so I can get up to speed on a very complex paranormal/alternative/secret society. This will help me as I read on toward book three, which was the book I picked up first and then set aside.

So far I like the characters in book one. Although they fit the typical hero/heroine paranormal romance template (he's a protective alpha male with the soul of a beta, and she's every clueless gal born with a secret power she has yet to discover/manifest) I still like them. The writing is lovely, the storyline is solid and it all works. Even the well-covered destined-to-mate aspect of the plot isn't putting my hackles in raise mode. If I carry your book in my purse when I go to pick up the kids from school so I can read a couple pages while waiting in line, trust me, it works.

What I like in a read is not always what gets my personal stamp of writer approval. For example, if a guy comes into my bookshop and turns into a dragon, one of my characters would not take it in stride. My characters are probably going to freak out. There will be screaming, and running and, if possible, a shrieking 911 call. Sara, the protagonist in Cooke's first novel, does none of my character type things. She sits down hard on the floor. While dragon guy shifts back into human form and tries to enlighten her as to her role in his life as his destined baby incubator, she still doesn't freak. She thinks a little about dipping him in chocolate, but ultimately doesn't believe him and (nicely) kicks him out of the store.

It's not what I would write. The dragon guy would be in some serious trouble in one of my stories. He wouldn't get a chance to casually chat about destiny and mating; he'd probably be busy removing some sharp pointy objects sticking out of his hide. He'd likely have to grab my girl and fly off to some hidden crystal cavern where he could keep an eye on her while she works through her rage, fear, denial, etc. She'd try to kill him and/or escape, they'd tussle, things would progress from there. Love isn't a polite dance to me; as Pat Benetar advised, it's a battlefield.

I'm also wondering just how you fit a dragon in a bookstore. The logistics of it. How passing pedestrians would react to seeing through the front window this dragon guy in his scaly form. The books catching on fire when he exhales. Smoke alarms going off. The fire department arriving. That sort of thing. I'm all about the reality and the chaos.

These are very pretty dragons, too. Jewel-like scales, gorgeous eyes, in colors that have a lot of semi-precious stone references: topaz, malachite, garnet, etc. It's a trick many romance writers do to make a traditionally unattractive creature more appealing to the female reader; kind of like toy manufacturers turning big, smelly, sweaty horses into My Little Rainbow Ponies. I'm not really a fan of that either; I like the creatures to be creatures, warts and all.

So how can a writer like me enjoy a book by a writer who doesn't write like me, has a different approach to characters and makes very different story choices? While I may think about how I would have written the story I'm reading, I try not to take the judgmental approach. Every book does not have to be written according to some list of rules and procedures in my head. As a reader I want to be more like a sponge -- simply soak it all up and let it engulf me. Then, when I'm fully immersed in the other writer's story, I judge my feelings, not the other writer. Did I enjoy the entire experience (even if it wasn't what I would have done?) If yes, I'll buy more of that author. If it was fair to middling, I'll probably try the author again. If I didn't enjoy it at all I'll probably pass on the author (exception: if it's a new author I may give them some time in the biz before trying them again. I try never to judge an author by the first five novels.)

If I've not become immersed, it's always because something kept me out of the story. Less than professional writing is #1 on that list; derivative writing is #2. If you're not writing at a professional level, you won't immerse me, and I guess that's just an occupational hazard. If you've cloned something I've already read by another author, ditto.

If I've been burned too many times by other authors in that genre, I think that factors in as well. I've mentioned that I am not a fan of dragon books; for years I've avoided them like writer conferences. I think it came from a combination of first having read the best dragon books ever published and then plowing through all the subsequent dreck trying to find more gems. Eventually I just got tired of the mediocrity and quit buying them. It's been at least four or five years now since I read a dragon book, so I've had time to get over my unhappy reading experiences. Reading Deborah Cooke made me realize that; I'm not sneering every time a dragon pops up in the story.

This will be helpful in years to come for another reason -- my daughter is crazy about dragons, loves to read and write dragon stories, and even draws and sculpts dragons (here's one of the dragon figurines that she made freehand in Art class last year.) Sometimes I wonder if she gravitated toward them because of my dislike -- the classic teenage response -- but it's now become her thing. I don't have to like everything my kids like, but I like to stay involved. Kat has already worked her way through all of my dragon book keepers, now maybe I can find some new works that she'll enjoy without giving myself a migraine in the process.

July CR

One of the magazines I pick up now and then is Consumer Reports; they're independent and nonprofit and buy products anonymously, right off the shelf like we do. Then they test them and publish ratings that score them by quality, price, features and so forth. They also don't accept paid advertising or free samples from manufacturers, so they never sell their souls for the Almighty Buck. When CR endorses something, it's because it's earned it.

If you're in the market for a new or better digital camera, The July '09 issue of CR has an eight-page in depth analysis of 77 point-and-shoot and SLR (single-lens reflex) models, including pricing comparisons, features, reliability, buying tips, their recommendations for best buys, manufacturer claim verifications, common consumer mistakes to avoid and more. They've put up some samples of the information from the article on their web site here, but of course you have to buy an online subscription or pick up the print issue to get the entire enchilada.

Also among the other interesting articles in this issue is a lab test comparison of two e-book readers: Amazon's Kindle 2 and the Sony Reader PRS-700BC. CR says overall Kindle beats Sony; naturally your mileage may vary.

Cafe Temptation

"Pssst."

Wilma Ritewell looked up from the bestelling vampire romance novel she was mentally dissecting. The man in the cheesy suit didn't look like anyone important, but at Cafe Temptation, you never knew. "Yes?"

"I don't mean to bother you, but . . . ." He glanced from side to side before he leaned over the tiny table, his grin as wide as his lapels. "You're a writer, aren't you?"

Wilma glanced down at her coffee-stained AlphaSmart, the stack of soda-stained index cards, and her Platinum Koi fountain pen, which was leaking onto the beverage nap under her cold cup of mango chai. "How did you guess?"

"You're not writing." He dropped down in the chair she'd forgotten to push away from her table. "So how's it going? Are you blocked? Stuck in a sagging middle? Find out your crit partner stole your title?"

"No, no, and no." Wilma placed the paperback cover-down on the table. "Are you taking a survey or something?"

"Nah. I saw you from across the cafe and thought you looked a little depressed. I'm a sucker for a blue writer." He parked his latte on the table and sat back to inspect her. "So, you come here often to not write?"

She stiffened. "I don't think that's any of your business." She squinted at him. "Just what is it that you want?"

"Hey, take it easy. It's not like I'm a reviewer or anything." He held up both hands, palm-out. "I like writers. Really. They're some of my best clients."

Oh, God, he was some self-pubbed how-toer. "Really." She started gathering up her things. "I do have to get back to my home office--"

"Ever see any of the real stuff?"

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

He chuckled. "That's a joke. I deal in information for writers. Real, solid information. 100% pure." He patted the briefcase by his right leg. "Not that I'm saying you need any. I bet you've got, what, fifteen books in print? Twenty? Last four on the Times extended list?"

"Six in print, and two made the USA Today list." Wilma sighed. "Look, whatever it is that you're selling--"

He reared back, his expression horrified. "Lady, I am not here to sell you anything tonight. I saw you frowning at that paperback, evidently not impressed, and thought you might like to talk to someone who understands. Obviously I was mistaken." He started to stand.

"Please, don't go." Wilma felt about two inches tall. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you. I've had a tough year."

He subsided back in the chair. "That's all right; we all have. Everyone knows what terrible pressure writers are under these days. I'm surprised you didn't bite my head off before I could say hello."

"I'd never do that." She exhaled slowly before forcing a smile. "So, what sort of information do you handle?"

"The best kind." He leaned close again. "Everything I sell comes with a complete writer-satisfaction guarantee."

"That's probably not a good idea." She frowned. "Writers are very hard to satisfy."

"Don't I know it." He propped his briefcase on the table, popped the locks and raised the lid. Inside was a copy of the latest issue of Publishers Weekly and a Levenger catalogue. "That's why I make it my business to sell exactly what a writer needs and wants most."

"I can't afford the subscription to Publishers Weekly," Wilma said politely. "And Levenger's sends their catalogue to me in the mail."

"Oh, those are my personal copies. What I handle is more valuable." He took out a sealed plain brown envelope. "Like the names and addresses of all the bookstores the Times uses to compile their bestseller list. With store manager names, home addresses and marital status. It's one of my bestsellers." He chuckled at his own joke.

"If one of my novels ever makes the bestseller list," she said flatly, "it will be because my readers put it there. Not because I cheated."

"You've got principals. I like that about you." He slowly withdrew a very small envelope. "Would you have the same problem with acquiring all the passwords to your editor's and agent's e-mail accounts?"

Wilma swallowed, hard. "That would be unethical, not to mention illegal."

"Professional and personal e-mail accounts," he murmured. "Total access to everything they write . . . about you, your books, that sweet young thang they just signed to write, what, the same sort of romances you're writing? For twice what they're paying you? Or is it really triple?"

"I'm not a snoop." Wilma stood and began packing up her tote bag. "Besides, my editor keeps accidentally sending me the wrong e-mails all the time, so I already know what they're paying that other writer." Quadruple the advance they paid her, the bastards.

"Hang on, honey. I've got four words for you." He grabbed her arm and waved a CD envelope in front of her face. "Bootleg subscription to BookScan."

"No." She tried to pull free. "I can wait the eleven months for my royalty statements. I'll have my numbers then."

"But what about sweet young thang's numbers?" he persisted. "Shouldn't you know how well she's selling before you write that cover blurb your editor is demanding from you for her next book? You know, before your editor yanks your slot and gives it to her?"

"Stop it." Wilma closed her eyes tightly. "Just stop it."

"Honey, listen to me." His grip eased. "It's just information. You should have access to it. I can make that happen. Tell you what." He stroked her arm with one hand as he reached into his briefcase with the other. "I'll give you something for free. Something you've wanted for a long, long time." He slipped a Post-It into her hand. "The real name, home and work address and telephone numbers for that Publishers Weekly reviewer who hatchet-jobbed your last novel." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "And there's more where that came from."

Wilma swayed for a moment, dizzy and flushed as she clutched the slip of paper. Somehow, with a superhuman effort, she crumpled the Post-It and threw it in his face. "Go to hell."

"C'mon, baby, don't be so uptight--"

Slamming the briefcase shut on his hand and hearing him squeal with pain gave Wilma almost as much satisfaction as the Post-It. Almost. "And take your writer porn with you." She stalked out of the cafe.

Another woman sitting near Wilma's table came over with a cup of ice and a napkin. "You poor man. Here." She set aside her notebook to wrap some ice in the napkin before holding to his bruised hand. "Are you all right?"

"I will be, thanks." He glanced at the sonnet she'd been writing, smiled at her and opened his briefcase, flipping up the divider to reveal the latest issue of Poets & Writers and some NEA Grant applications. "You're a poet, aren't you?"

Job, Sub & Contest Ops

From Craigslist NY: "Brazilian Décor (www.braziliandecor.com) is a new e-commerce site dedicated to sale Brazilian Home Decoration products. We are seeking for a writer for a freelance job, someone very creative with excellent writing & editing skills. The candidates must be native English speakers. The job functions will include: Writing products descriptions; Writing articles; Templates e-mails; Create contents for Newsletters; Checking & review website contents; Etc." Apply via e-mail with 1) A cover letter with an attached resume, 2) Writing Sample(s), and 3) Hourly wage expectations. See job listing for more details.

Also from Craigslist NY: "Looking for a Ghost Writer to research and write Human Resource articles. Some knowledge of HR practice would be helpful, but not necessary in lieu of research skills. Ability to write business articles that use particular language to appeal to a target audience. A good grammarian is needed, ability to self-edit. Articles are 500 words each, $40 per article. I have a need that requires on average 6 or 7 articles per month. This can be an ongoing contract position for the right writer! Please respond with the words Ghost Writer in the Subject line. Please respond with a short note about your experience. Please also respond with two (2) samples of your writing, ideally similar length informative articles. (BE SURE TO CUT AND PASTE SAMPLES INTO BODY OF EMAIL, ATTACHMENTS WILL NOT BE OPENED.)" Telecommuting okay, see job listing for more details.

Hypersonic Tales are "currently looking for flash fiction of 1000 words or less. Please query first if your submission is any longer, so that we can reject it in a gentle manner." [Gentle? Really? I might sub to them.] Further info: "We will gladly include any links to the author's personal web page along with a short (one or two paragraphs) bio. Please do not send any previously published material. We also will be accepting cover art submissions. We pay $10. If accepted your story or comic strip will be paid $5.00. Payment for cover art will be negotiable. We require one-time use rights for a period of 12 months after initial publication. Stories accepted will appear in text and audio formats. Submission guidelines may change at the discretion of the editors." See site for more details.

Another new Twitter market, Nanoism, is accepting all genres with a soft spot for literary fiction (note: stories not to exceed 140 characters.) Payment: "We pay $1.50 for unpublished pieces and $1 for material that’s already available online. We pay a flat $5 for serials. We also include a short bio with your story, and we’ll gladly link to your personal site and/or twitter account (just fit it in the bio!)." See site for more details.

TheNovelette.com is holding a story contest: "War may be hell, but conflict is the spice of any good story. How conflicted can you be in 750 words or less?" [Oh, honey, you have no idea.] The rules: "...by submitting your story to thenovelette.com writing contest, you agree to have your work displayed on our website indefinitely, to have your work included in online and/or print collections at the discretion of the owners of thenovelette.com, and that you release thenovelette.com from any and all liability relating to your submission. Writing contest entrants must submit original work that has been written by them personally and for which they are the sole copyright owners. After vetting for appropriateness, all entries will be published at thenovelette.com. Thenovelette.com does not request exclusive rights to publish entries." Awards: "We make two awards in each contest. The first is the Reader’s Award, given to the piece that receives the highest rating from our online readers. The second is the Editor’s Award, given by our editors. Winners in each category will receive a $25 e-gift certificate to BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com." No entry fee, and the deadline for this one is June 15th.

Burgers and Birds

My guy and I like to grill out now and then. Neither of us are grillmasters, but every couple of weeks we'll throw some burgers or chops or kabobs on a small gas Char-Broil we keep in the back yard. It's nothing fancy, and it's getting pretty old now, but it still gets the job done:



Bad weather kept us from grilling out over Memorial Day weekend, so tonight I decided to cook up some burgers for a belated celebration. I went out with my guy to prep the grill, which we first move to the center of the yard because we live in a wood-frame house and I'd rather not set it on fire. As my guy rolled the grill away from the wall, something small, red-breasted and fast flew out from under it.

"Uh, honey," I said. "A bird just flew out of there."

He looked at me. "What's a bird doing . . . " He looked at the grill, which we haven't used for at least a month. "Oh, no."

"Lift the lid and check," I suggested.

And he did. Then he said a lot of words I'd rather not repeat because our daughter is probably reading this. When he was done making his observations about the intelligence of certain lower orders, I told him I'd get the camera, because no one was going to believe this without proof.



At first we couldn't figure out how she built the nest under the grill rack -- the spaces between the bars seemed to narrow for her to fit through, and it was way too heavy for her to dislodge. Then I looked at the underside, where there are a couple of bird-size holes rusted through the base of the grill. Somehow she flew under and in through this labyrinth of holes in order to build the nest.



The grill's ignition switch stopped working about two years ago; before then my guy used to light it without first lifting the lid. Fortunately now he has to lift the lid first and look as he turns on the gas and lights the heating element with a lighter, so even if I hadn't seen the mother fly out, the nest wouldn't have been toast. Lucky for her.

This time I just cannot fathom this choice. That grill is black metal, and I know it has to get extremely hot inside during the day. It reeks of gas and burnt things. During the first day of bird school, doesn't anyone point to a grill and say, "Never ever ever nest in that"?

I didn't get a good enough look at the mother to identify the bird, but from the size and color of the eggs I'm guessing another type of wren. And if all five of these hatch, I think that will make a grand total of eighteen babies born this spring (five wrens from the potted plant, four mourning doves from the nest between the bird houses, and four cardinals who just hatched in the hanging sweet potato vine -- photos of the newborns are over at the Photoblog today, btw.)

Looks like we'll be grilling indoors with the stovetop grill pan for the next month or so. I'm also expecting Animal Planet to call any day now and offer me my own show. Maybe I'll call it Ditzy Birds and Dumb Nesting Places.

Widgety

Hear that sizzling sound? That's me, in writer hell (or, the train wreck of revised deadlines that happens when your publisher moves your release date up a month early on the schedule.) I'm trying not to wimp out and put the blog on hiatus, but posting here will likely be eh until I make it through all seven levels and deal with some other things like the end of school, Father's Day and prep for LB&LI. Thanks in advance for understanding, and I'll try to get something of interest up regularly so your trip here isn't wasted.

Such as: For those of you who'd like to add polls to your site or blog but don't know how:

Online Surveys & Market Research

I made and customized this poll widget over at Vizu, after registering for a free account and going through a couple of very simple steps. Extremely easy amd totally painless. If I can do it, a toddler can.

Added: I had to wait until some votes came in before I posted this part, but Vizu also gives you a map of who responds to your poll, where they live/work, and what their answers are -- in this case, red for Hell, yes, and green for Hell, no (click to see larger version of map):

Freely Ten

Ten Things You Can Have for Nothing

Freeware caution: always scan free downloads of anything for bugs and other threats before dumping the programs into your hard drive.

Balabolka is a "is a Text-To-Speech (TTS) program. All computer voices installed on your system are available to Balabolka. The on-screen text can be saved as a WAV, MP3, OGG or WMA file. The program can read the clipboard content, view the text from DOC, RTF, PDF, FB2 and HTML files, customize font and background colour, control reading from the system tray or by the global hotkeys. Balabolka uses various versions of Microsoft Speech API (SAPI); it allows to alter a voice's parameters, including rate and pitch. The user can apply a special substitution list to improve the quality of the voice's articulation. This feature is useful when you want to change the spelling of words. The rules for the pronunciation correction use the syntax of VBScript" (OS: Win 9x/ME/NT/2K/XP/2K3)

bookTomebookTome is "a book management system which allows users to enter information about their book collection and then sort and search this information in a variety of different manners. bookTome can catalog and manage your library or personal book collection and it is suitable for collections of all sizes and types. Main features:Add and edit books manually or using web services; Sort and organise your books by author, series, reading status or tags; Search your books with free-form text searching and links; Print out book lists, book information and wish lists; Keep track of books that you want to read with the wish list" (OS: Windows XP/Vista)

Efficient Diary is "a completely free while still beautiful, easy-to-use and powerful electronic diary software package. With its unique and powerful flash full-text search technique, you can simply enter a word in the diary to quickly find the corresponding entries! The product has a strong edit function similar to that of Microsoft Word. You can insert various items such as tables, pictures, emotions, URLs or even attachments. You can set the background color, background picture of each diary entry separately so your diary can be rich and colorful" Could double as an electronic novel notebook, too. (OS: Windows 98/ME/NT4/2000/XP/2003/Vista)

FocusWriter is "a fullscreen, distraction-free writing program. You can customize your environment by changing the font, colors, and background image to add ambiance as you type. FocusWriter features an on-the-fly updating wordcount, optional auto-save, optional daily goals, and toolbars that hide away to allow you to focus more clearly; additionally, when you open the program your current work-in-progress will automatically load and position you at the end of your document, so that you can immediately jump back in" (OS: Mac OS X 10.4; Windows XP)

Forgedit is "the user friendly developers text editor . . . for developers who want an easier way to get things done. ForgEdit is surprisingly powerful and easy to use, and has all the tweakability you need.
Support for more than 25 modes, 100+ configurable keyboard shortcuts, 20+ stock scripts, and all the character encodings your Mac has to offer" (OS: Mac OS X 10.4 or 10.5; G4, G5 or Intel CPU)

Hikidoc is "a text-to-HTML conversion tool for web writers. HikiDoc allows you to write using an easy-to-read, easy-to-write plain text format, then convert it to structurally valid HTML (or XHTML)" (OS: Mac; open-source Ruby project)

MemoBlock "is a slick notepad application for Mac. You can store text notes in any font/color style you like, transfer content to iPods, export as vNote files and more. MemoBlock also has a cool alarm feature that you can set for individual notes, and notes can be divided into as many categories as you like. The latest version brings an improved find box, support for vNote (.vnt) files, and a over a dozen other changes" (OS: Mac)

PhotoNotesis "an easy way to attach labels to your favorite photos. You can mark friends and family, buildings, special places, whatever you like. It is tightly integrated with the Mac OS X Address Book, so it is easy to pick a name for a label. Labels are smart: When you have birthdays in your Address Book, PhotoNotes automatically displays the age of that person, using the camera date. Finding photos of friends is easy with PhotoNotes' extensive Spotlight support. Your albums are automatically indexed. When you search for a person from Spotlight, PhotoNotes automatically displays that person's photos and highlights him or her in the thumbnail previews. You can also export your labelled photos as an interactive HTML page" (OS: Mac OS X)

Social Poster "submits (your content) to all social and bookmarking websites including: Digg, Propeller, Reddit, Del.icio.us, Stumble Upon, Social Logs, Indianpad, Google, Technorati, Furl, Diigo, Wirefan, Bibsonomy, Blinklist, Blogmemes, Faves.com, Ask Jeeves, Simpy, Backflip, Spurl, Newsvine, Netvouz, Folkd, Blinkbits, Bmaccess, Shadows, Smarking, Sphinn, Magnolia and Yahoo. Easy access to all supported social websites; Fills all possible fields automatically; Easy copy & paste the fields that can't be filled automatically; Generates space-separated from the comma-separated tags; Generates quoted tags from the comma-separated tags" (OS: No info listed, but this looks like Windows.)

viJournal Lite, a freeware version of viJournal, is "designed as an analogue of the good old-fashioned page-a-day bound diary - the kind you buy in a stationer's. You write your entries under dated headers and save them collectively by month and year." Includes a bunch of other features as well (OS: Mac OS X 10.5 or later, but they have a special download for Mac OS X 10.4.4 or later.)

Winners

It was interesting to see the authors and titles that are being recommended out there. I've got a couple more to check out when I make my next trip to the bookstore. In the meantime, the winners of the Reading Mischief giveaway are:

Charlene, who read Vertical Run by Joseph Garber.

Nadia, who read the Harry Dresden series by Jim Butcher

BuffySquirrel, who read The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde.

Winners, please send your full name and ship-to address to LynnViehl@aol.com, and I'll get these books out to you. Thanks to everyone for joining in.

Gen Ten

Ten Things About Online Generators

ArchetypeWriting.com has a page of story starters and idea generators that can help with plot scenarios, character sketches, everyday problems and more.

Generate an extrasolar starchart over at Extrasolar Skies.

Have avatar but need a name? Get an interesting one from Outland.org's Name Generator.

Want a first name for a weird, alien or fantasy character? Try out Generatorland.com's First Name Generator.

You've got a business in your story; now name it with the Modern Company Names Generator.

Also from Generatorland.com, for you ladies writing those NASCAR romances, The NASCAR driver name generator.

The text/visual generator Plot Shot generates a random plot with random Flickr shots.

Got a mage character who needs to beef up his library? Try the Random Books Generator.

Nexi.com's Random Word Generator takes whatever text or word lists you feed it and recombines them. If you ever needed to create some names limited to a certain set of letters or vowel sounds, coin new words or just play with keywords for title ideas, this is the generator for you.

Need the name of a random but real American town or city but can't find your atlas? The USA place name generator "selects a random named location from 1990 United States Census data. Because the smallest towns have the same likelihood of being chosen as the largest cities, there's a decidedly rural flavor to the selections." It's also hooked up to MapQuest if you want to see where the town is located.

Reading Mischief

One thing you do when you discover a great book is to pass it along. Since you all were kind enough to recommend some great titles to me, I wanted to do the same by giving away one of the books from my Instant TBR. There were a bunch of great reads in that pile, but when I considered which book I most wanted to share, the one that kept shouting MeMeMe was the one by the author who earned a debut spot on my keeper shelf: The Book of Unholy Mischief by Elle Newmark.

I've already reported on what I thought of the story, but there's a bit more to it than that. The writing is gorgeous and smart without being pretentious or overly-academic. I felt immersed in Luciano's world, which hasn't been around for 500+ years, and the author breathed life into the era without constant dropping history info dumps on my head. Everything was quite frankly presented -- even the most unsavory aspects of existing in fifteenth-century Venice -- but it never pushed me out of the story. It actually brought back some wonderful memories; every time Luciano and Chef Ferrero worked together in the kitchen, I was seventeen years old again and back in my mom's kitchen, watching my dad cook (if you're looking for more concrete details, PK posted an excellent overview of the story here.)

This novel also reminded me of what it once meant to create the physical book; the sort of art that is almost disappeared altogether from Publishing. It's a lovely book to see, from the gorgeous cover art to the unique end papers. Hardcovers today are mass-produced with cheap materials; most fall apart after only a few years (and I own 160-year-old books that are holding together better than hardcovers I bought ten years ago, so I'm watching this happen in my own collection.) I'm sure this one will be no different, but it gave the illusion of being a novel made by more caring hands, and that was a delightful little fantasy.

If you'd like a chance to check out Ms. Newmark's novel for yourself, in comments to this post, name an author or book you read only because a friend recommended it (or if you have very quiet friends, just toss your name in the hat) by midnight EST on Saturday, May 23, 2009. I'll draw three names at random from everyone who participates, and send the winners an unsigned hardcover copy of The Book of Unholy Mischief by Elle Newmark. This giveaway is open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.

Typewriter Writer

I am an old writer. Back in the late sixties I started writing stories and poems on school notebook paper in pencil, then in the seventies graduated to pen and composition books and legal pads. Mom bought me a second-hand manual typewriter when I was thirteen, and I used that for eleven years until it literally fell apart. After that I bought a used IBM Selectric typewriter from a yard sale, and used that for writing until 1994, when my husband bought me my very first computer.

I've always thought that my learning to write by longhand and typewriter always put me at a disadvantage to younger, more tech-savvy writers. For most of my life I didn't have the marvels of the modern word processing program to help me write. No backups, no disc copies; just me, the pen or the typewriter, and the single hard copy. I've always felt a bit like the writer equivalent of Wilma Flintstone because of it.

I was explaining this disadvantage to one of my young writer friends the other day, in one of those "be grateful for what you've got" type conversations older writers like to have with youngsters. She was complaining about how slow her printer is, while I'm still riveted by the fact that I can print out an entire manuscript in less than an hour -- something that twenty years ago would have taken me a good two months to type.

"That's why you're able to write straight through everything, isn't it?" my friend asked me. "You trained to write on a typewriter, and you couldn't stop or go back or fix things."

I was surprised, but she was right. It's not easy to backspace and rewrite on a typewriter; with the two I owned I had to use White-Out or correction tape, or rip out the page and start over. I also couldn't review and edit anything I wrote before I printed it out -- naturally using a typewriter = printing it out instantly. Add to that the fact that back then typing paper was expensive, and my mom had a fit if I wasted even a single page of it.

I never thought about it before, but I guess subconsciously I did teach myself to wait until I was clear in my head about what I wanted to put down on the paper because of the limitations of my equipment. When I typed, I wrote straight through the page while trying to make as few errors or mistakes as possible. It's a different way of thinking and writing than what you do when you use a word processor. With a computer, you have an infinite number of chances to correct whatever you write, and you never have to print it out if you don't want to.

I think this may also explain why I'm considered to be such a fast writer. I've never thought I was, but I don't do all that backtracking, editing and rewriting most other writers do. I think if I'd learned how to write on a tool that allowed me to backtrack and edit and rewrite ad infinitum, I'd be a lot less productive. I think it's also helped me be more productive using VRS now, because I'm doing almost the exact same thing I once did on a typewriter -- composing in my head before I try to put down the words by voice.

I appreciate the many advantages the personal computer and the word processing program offer, and I don't think we should go back to using typewriters and carbon paper and White-Out. But now I do think I have a little advantage over younger writers, at least in how I trained myself to write -- on a machine that in twenty or thirty years probably won't exist anymore. Odd to think that mine is the last generation of typewriter writers.

How did you guys learn how to write, by longhand, typewriter or computer? How do you think it helped (or hindered) you as a writer? Let us know in comments.

New Bio Pic

After seven years of hiding in my ivory tower avoiding the camera, I've finally caved in and let Publishing have an updated bio photo of me.

We put it together first thing in the morning; I didn't let them trowel on the makeup this time, nor did I let them touch up my white hair or freckles. I did a French twist with my hair at first, but that always makes me look like the Abominable Schoolmarm, so I shook it loose.

I was glad we went totally au naturale. Well, with clothes on, but it's 100% true to life. And here it is.

So what do you think? Should I have worn my hair up? Does the tea mug and the ancient Publishing Scroll 'o Wisdom make it look too busy? Or should I have been a little more daring, maybe clipped on an eye patch and a parrot on my forearm (hey, I did go to high school with Johnny Depp...)

(To update your own bio pic for free, head over to see my photographer.)

Portrait of a Character

At the last serious art festival I attended, I wandered around with the kids without much purpose in mind other than to buy a few prints, talk to some artists and generally soak up the beauty and energy. There is something about being around intensely creative people that always recharges my batteries.

I also can't gush enough about how terrific it is to see art up close and in person. I always liked Salvadore Dali, but it wasn't until I saw a collection of his paintings at a museum that I realized just how insanely talented the man was.

Back to my art festival: at one booth I caught a glimpse of a dark piece in the back, almost hidden from view by the arrangement of other, more vibrant paintings. All of the work at the booth was superb, but for some reason the one in the shadows drew me like a high powered magnet.

The painting was a profile portrait of a young woman with short dark hair wearing a lovely robe and resting her brow against one hand. Most of her face was in shadow. Her other hand was splayed almost protectively against her heart. My first impression was loneliness, sadness, and pain.

Then I looked closer, and saw that she was looking sideways (at whoever stood in front of the painting), and that seemed to change the feel of the piece entirely. She wasn't depressed, she was on guard, showing me what I wanted to see while she kept an eye on me. And then I knew who she was.

She was Rowan. Or, to be more precise, she epitomized all of the traits I had cooked up in my head to be my character Rowan. Rowan, who until that point had remained mostly in shadow for me.

At that point I wanted desperately to take a picture of the portrait (something that is a big no-no at art festivals) so that I could take home a permanent image to study. I went to talk to one of the artists; as it happened the painting was a collaboration. Ms. Brodeur probably thought I was a little weird for how I enthused about the portrait, but she was kind enough to give me a postcard with an image of it:



Once I had seen the portrait, everything nebulous about Rowan's character clicked into place for me. That doesn't always happen; finding a real image or piece of art that matches what I see in my head sometimes raises new questions and creates more work for me. But this time it was a perfect match, and the details in the painting filled in the blanks in my mental profile. That gave me the last push I needed to fully understand and complete my portrait of the character.

There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to what inspires some writers to create characters; the universe tosses something our way and we feel compelled to embody it, name it and tell its story. This time for me it was a painting that finished the job, next time it might be a handful of words or a scent or a song. I think the trick is to remain open to world around you, and the possibilities that populate it, and let the universe take care of the rest.

Related links:

Kathleen Brodeur's web site

Edson Campos's web site

Ops Ten

Ten Things About Submission Opportunities

Dorchester Publishing, home of Leisure Books and LoveSpell, is now accepting general submissions via e-mail. This is terrific news, especially for writers who want to pitch Dorchester but live outside the U.S. Read over the guidelines at the link, and if you scroll down you'll see a list of what they're looking for currently.

Duotrope Digest has an online fiction and poetry market search engine; input your word length, genre and other details and it will give you a list of potential sub ops.

Freelance Writing Jobs has among many market listings one currently for a decent travel-writing op.

The 15th annual Garden State Horror Writers Short Story Contest is now open for submissions; according to Ralan.com: "all genres, no lit-fic (fic). Words: <3½k. Fee: $10 (members $5). 3 Prizes=$175." Note: I don't usually list contests with entry fees because they're usually only scams to make money off writers, but a friend in the horror biz assures me this one is legit. No reprints, electronic subs only, see web site for more details. And if you win, tell them I said to stop charging entry fees.

If you're one of those scrapbook/card making writers, you might check out the online create-a-card challenge contests that Hallmark has been holding here; looks like there's some fairly decent prize money involved in some of them.

SF author Ahmed A. Khan has an open call for submissions to two anthologies; Cheer Up, Universe (feel good -- if there is such a thing -- spec fic and fantasy; no length restrictions, no reprints, no simultaneous subs; payment one cent/word to a max of $15; ) and Fun Times in Strange Lands (spec fic aimed at pre-teens; no length restrictions, reprints and simultaneous subs okay, payment is a gratis copy of antho.) Electronic subs only for both, see author's LJ post for more details, deadline for both June 30th or when filled.

Panverse Publishing has an open call for novella-length submissions for their Panverse One anthology. Deadline September 30th or when filled. Wanted: "Pro-level novellas of between 15,000 and 40,000 words. Stories should be Science Fiction (any flavor) or Fantasy (except Heroic/High/Superhero/S&S). We'll also look at Magic Realism, Alternate History, and Slipstream (whatever that is). The story should be original and unpublished in any medium (this includes web publication)." Language, violence and sex should be R-rated. Pays $60.00 + 2 copies on pub, no reprints, electronic subs only, see guidelines for more details.

Review Fuse, which I listed in April here for their off-beat monthly short story contest, is also holding a monthly poetry contest, with the winner receiving $50. No entry fee, but there is a registration requirement, you have to critique other poems, and other stuff like a theme is involved, so do check out the guidelines thoroughly.

Ruthless Peoples Magazine "is aimed at a general audience who are passionate about stories. We are the only magazine that actively loves our readers, and this principle informs the following guidelines for writers: We are happy to consider: Short & episodic fiction up to 3,500 words;
Flash fiction, preferably 500-1,000 words; Poetry, up to 40 lines." [I didn't know all the other magazines hated us, did you?] According to Ralan.com pays fic=1¢/word; flash=$10; poem=$5 via Paypal only. No reprints, electronic subs only, see guidelines for more details.

Another Twitter market, Tweet the Meat, is looking for you to scare them in 140 characters or less. Pays $1.00 U.S. via Paypal per twit, tweet, whatever you call it; no reprints, submit only on Saturday or Sunday, electronic subs only, see post for more details.

Most of the above ops were found over in the market listings at Ralan's place.

Oh, Hang Me

Now that all the baby birds have hatched, grown up and flown away, I finally started on replacing the potted plants I lost to a late frost. On the front porch I always keep hanging baskets of sweet potato vines. They're not the usual hanging plant, but they grow like crazy, and I love the way they look when they cascade down about six or seven feet.

After two weeks one plant was doing great, but the other started looking a little wilted and over-watered:



Since I water both pots every day, and I use the same amount for both, I thought I might have gotten a bad plant. So I took it down to have a look, and saw something had dug a hole in the center of the new plant:



I'll give you three guesses what was in the hole.



Has someone been feeding Viagra or fertility drugs to the birds ion my neighborhood? I'd really like to know now.

Winners

One of my favorite poets knew all about being contrary. It was in everything she was: the way she lived her life, how she saw the world, and what she wrote in her brilliant, subversive poetry:

Much madness is divinest sense
To a discerning eye;
Much sense the starkest madness.
'Tis the majority
In this, as all, prevails.
Assent and you are sane;
Demur, -- you're straightway dangerous,
And handled with a chain.

--Emily Dickinson

The magic hat did its thing this morning, and the winners of the Poetic Power giveaway are:

Kate, whose favorite poetry includes Dr. Seuss's classic "I do not eat green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am."

Megan, who loves Rainer Maria Rilke's Duino Elegies.

Bethini, who is fond of T.S. Eliot's "I grow old...I grow old... / I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled."

Winners, when you have a chance please e-mail your full name and ship-to address to LynnViehl@aol.com, and I'll get these books out to you. Thanks to everyone for joining in and sharing so many wonderful poets and poems.

Let's Try Something

I was thinking of bringing back the Friday 20 once a month, and I'm curious to see if you guys would find it of any value. I know in the past I covered a lot of questions (see the Index for the old Q&A's) but we have some new people who have joined our merry irreverent band since I discontinued it, and maybe they'd like to give it a go.

Okay, I miss it, too. That was one of my favorite days of the week.

I don't know if it's worth resurrecting, but at the very least we'll have a trial run today and see how many folks participate. So, anyone have any writing- or publishing-related questions you'd like me to answer? Post them in comments.

Graphic credit: © Yellowj | Dreamstime.com

Bits & Pieces

My publisher has changed the release date for Shadowlight; according to my latest info the novel will be hitting the shelves sometime in October 2009 instead of November 2009. I don't have an exact laydown date yet, but it's usually the first week of the month. Since booksellers routinely ignore my paydown dates, if that holds true then I imagine some of you will be able to pick up the book at stores in late September.

Some of you have noticed that the sidebar is changing; it's actually under reconstruction. Tom and I are weeding out dead links, adding some new ones, and otherwise tidying up. Once we've dusted the knicknacks we're going to try to condense it so that it's not a mile and a half long like it is now. Your patience while we tinker, as always, is much appreciated.

Rhiannon passed along a sub op as well as a bit of background experience earlier this week in comments, and I want to repost in case you all missed it:

I know you like to give heads up to writers on open markets. I thought I would share the newest call for submissions from The Library of the Living Dead. I had a short story in the latest anthology "Zombology" and really enjoyed working with Dr. Pus (Dr. Mike West in real life).

"I'm going to put out a horror anthology that will contain only female penned stories.

Any horror genre will be accepted. Word count max will be 7K. I'm hoping to make this a huge tome.

Only female authors will be accepted.

Send you submissions to .... lohpress@yahoo.com ... and title the e-mail "Ladies".

Please send submisson in Rich Text Format.

You will be paid one cent per work word* and receive two copies of the book when it's published.

This is my way to thank you ladies for all of the cool stories I've received already from those of the "female persuasion."

Very nice -- thanks, Rhiannon.

*Added: corrected to clarify.

Poetic Power

This year I've had excellent luck picking up how-to books at random at the store and discovering some wonderful resources, but I don't always go to the how-to aisle to find what might be useful to mention on the blog. Sometimes I head there just for me and my eternal quest to clarify, understand, and address my writing life.

Last week I spotted a new release, Writing the Life Poetic, by Sage Cohen, and the title immediately snared me. So did the cover copy, the table of contents, and the first three pages I read. I figured it would be inspirational to me personally, as my poetry of late has been squashed under the pleasures, pressures and madness of writing fiction, but not something I'd talk about here on the blog. I'm rarely willing to inflict my poet-self on my writer friends.

Fortunately Sage Cohen doesn't feel that way, and opened herself up as she extended through the book a no-strings-attached invitation to read and write poetry. The result were short chapters on all the things poets wrestle with: what to write, word and structure choices, metaphor, voice, writing rituals, art, experimentation, and anything else you can think of. She offered some amazing poems of her own and by other poets to exemplify her topic, and also included practical suggestions and interesting exercises for the reader under a Try This! banner at the end of a section.

It's not all exercises and mechanics, though. In the chapter Convenience Kills (pg. 134), Ms. Cohen discusses how our high-speed turbo-powered culture is killing creativity, which affects all of us, as evident in what Charlene wrote in her blog post that I quoted for the May Thought for the Month over there on the sidebar. In Trusting Your Instincts (pg. 208), she discusses all this writing advice that comes at us from all directions, and how we can decide whether or not to follow it. One chapter, From Dysfunction to Duende (pg. 61) explained something I've fretted over as a poet and a writer for the last thirty-four years, but could never even put a name to, much less find an explanation for. That alone blew me away.

While reading this book, I didn't get bogged down in a lot of pretty theory and lofty notion that so often is associated with composing verse. One goal Sage Cohen mentions in the book is the hope of taking poetry down off the academic pedestal and putting it back in the hands of the people. I thought this was accomplished, and rather brilliantly. It's also very non-partisan in how it addresses the creative life. I didn't have to lock up my fiction self in a cage while absorbing the information and ideas. There was as much in it for me the novelist as there was for the poet.

I've always felt writing poetry makes me a better fiction writer, but this is the first time I've found a how-to book that speaks to both sides of my writing life. And if I never wrote another poem for the rest of my life, I'd still consult with this book. In many ways it's not so much about what you write, but the life in which you write.

As always, you don't have to take my word for it. In comments to this post, name one of your favorite poems or poets (or if you're poetry-deprived, just toss your name in the hat) by midnight EST on Friday, May 15, 2009. I'll draw three names at random from everyone who participates and send the winners an unsigned copy of Writing the Life Poetic by Sage Cohen. This giveaway is open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.

Press Release

Publishers Push Through Promo Participation

New York, NY -- Major publishers wrapped up final negotiations today with the Authorial Guild on new industry standards for mandatory author promotional participation guidelines, to be included in all past, present and future publishing contracts.

The new guidelines, which cover some innovative and untried forms of promotion that all authors will be required to perform, include:

Bookstore Handsales: Authors will spend two nights per week working the aisle where their latest release is located at the nearest large chain bookstore. When a browser enters the aisle, the author will immediately engage them in conversation, show them the release and advise them that it is the best book they have ever read. If there is more than one author in an aisle, they will work together to handsell copies to the unaware. If the author has a highly visible book jacket photo, the author will of course wear a clever disguise, or at least not so much makeup.

Carnival Book Games: Authors will purchase gaming vendor space at every circus, carnival, RenFaire or other outdoor event in their area to sell their latest release. Books will only be awarded to event patrons who play until they have covered the purchase price of the book; all other patrons will be awarded bookmarks and widgets (to be provided by the author.) The publishers suggest using such classic exciting games as Penny Pitch-A-Novel, Guess the Author's Age/Weight/Real Name, Bio Photo Darts or everyone's favorite, The Novelist Dunk.

Home Book Parties: Authors will purchase ads to invite the general public into their homes at least once a month for "Home Book Parties." These parties will include a buffet, readings, clothespin games, free bookmarks, and the chance to purchase signed copies of their latest release and whatever is on their backlist that hasn't gone out of print (all food and party supplies to be provided by the author.) The consumer who purchases the largest number of copies will be invited to spend the weekend as a pampered guest at the author's home.

Intersection Sales: Every Sunday authors will dress up as one of their characters, travel to the nearest large town or city and sell books from the median of a major intersection to passing motorists (initially there was concern about competition from newspaper vendors, but since no one reads newspapers anymore, the publishers aren't worried.)

Mall Samples: For the two-week period before every major shopping holiday, or three times per month (whichever is more frequent) authors will station themselves at appropriate points in mall food courts with their latest release, and rip out pages from the best parts to hand out to passing consumers while informing them they can have the rest of the book and two book marks (provided by author) for a special low price.

Park Performances: Twice a month authors will give readings from their books in well-attended public parks. An empty, open laptop case or tote bag will be placed in front of the author in order to collect donations. Authors are advised to bring their children or young family members to help pass around the case or bag in the event donations are not voluntarily offered by the end of the reading (all donations will turned over to the publisher to offset production costs, loss of profits and misc. expenses.) The author's spouse or older family member will maintain a book cart nearby to sell copies of the author's latest release to interested park patrons.

Remainder Garage Sales: Authors whose books have been remaindered will be expected to purchase all remaining stock from the publisher and sell them out of their garages on weekends until the stock is completely sold. A special addendum was negotiated on payments of remainder profits, requiring authors to forward 94% to publisher, and 15% of the remaining 6% to the author's agent. The balance will then be turned over to the publisher's accountant, who will keep indefinitely 30% in the event of returns at the next garage sale, and hang onto the rest until Christmas, or he feels the author deserves their share, whichever takes the longest.

All books involved in these new promotional events must first be purchased by the author at a convenient retail outlet, as publishers can no longer afford to offer authors discounted copies, and are discontinuing the practice of providing "free" or "author" copies of new releases.

"We feel these guidelines provide many wonderful opportunities for authors to become more accessible and interact with their readers in positive, fun ways," one publisher's attorney stated firmly. "After all, Publishing is a partnership between us and them, and everyone agrees that they really haven't been doing their part, so they should be thrilled and happy to step up to the plate. And if they don't like it, they can go try to make a living selling homemade chapbooks online and how-to articles to Writer's Digest."

"We feel this is the best deal we could get for our members," Authorial Guild Prez Bic Kurwhyne told reporters. "Way better than that dumbass Google thing, obviously. I have no doubt that authors will respond to it in a positive manner, because if they don't they'll be in violation of paragraph four hundred and seven of the Appropriate Author Behavior While Self-Promoting section."