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Some important news headlines that I've found lately:
Oprah's Deadly Eating Disorder EXPOSED!
Hillary attacks Bill's Secret Lover...he forces Hillary into sex therapy
Poor Nick: Vanessa's a Dirrrty Dancing Machine!
I haven't read them, but you probably have. What do you mean, you haven't? These are amazing publications. They have full color pages and photographs of famous people; Brad and Angelina are on their covers every other week. I see them each time I go through the checkout at the grocery store. I don't buy them, as I have plenty of liners for the cat boxes and the hamster's cage, but I'm sure someone does.
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Actually, I'm not sure who does. Lots of people pick them up and thumb through them while they're waiting, but then they put them back. I know, maybe they wait until I leave the store because they know I'm watching.
Supermarket tabloids are a fact of life for celebrities. So are the paparazzi. The only thing people love more than a wildly successful, popular person is to see that wildly successful, popular person fall on their face, get divorced, get hauled into court, have a sleazy affair, or lose a huge amount of money.
In our world, scandal is the great equalizer. It's also a tremendous comforter and pacifier.
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Take the Clinton story. Reading that a former President has to send his wife to a sex therapist makes an ordinary citizen who has ho-hum nooky three nights a week with the spouse feel superior. It doesn't even have to be true; gossip rarely is. Superiority over an American president is a very nice feeling for someone who makes thirty-five thousand a year, is wrestling an adjustable-rate mortgage ballooning out of control, and is trapped in a rotting relationship. Ordinary Citizen also has as much chance of becoming the President of the United States as Yosemite Sam does . . . but at least OC's spouse puts out.
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Scandal is a business, and often generates fame for people who otherwise wouldn't get any. Hedda Hopper was a classic example of someone who achieved fame only through defaming others. Born Elda Furry, the daughter of a Pennsylvania butcher, she ran off to New York to become a Broadway star, but never made it past the chorus line. She moved on to Hollywood, but despite appearing in 120 films, failed to become a famous movie actress. Even her marriage to an actor eventually failed. Poor Hedda.
When Hedda became a gossip columnist, however, she finally found the means to acquire the fame and success she craved: by damaging and often destroying the careers of actors and actresses. In her heyday she terrorized the studios and most of the Hollywood elite, and would crucify anyone who refused to kiss her ass. She turned in names of Hollywood pros she thought were communists during the McCarthy era. Hedda made so much money peddling scandal that she moved to Beverly Hills and christened her mansion "The House That Fear Built." She lived, probably very well, to the ripe old age of 80.
So how does this relate to what's happening to authors these days?
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Why, it doesn't! I'm so glad that I'm a published author, because we don't have book tabloids and author paparazzi. No Hedda Hopper hopefuls out there making reps and money off bashing and defaming us. No one stalking us where we work, watching every word we write, waiting for us to do anything they don't like so they can misconstrue it or blow it up into a scandal. No one to use things that we can't control and have no say in, like bad cover art, as a means to ridicule us. No one to dictate to us how they think we're to speak, act or think, or to threaten us if we don't. No one to misquote us, smear us or otherwise crucify us if we don't suck up, kiss their ass, etc. Being an author is a wonderful thing.
Lots of people agree with me. According to a 2005 survey conducted by USA Today and the Association of American Publishers, 82% of Americans plan to write a book someday. As of the writing of this post, that is approximately 246,736,190 ordinary American citizens who want my job. I won't tell them that the average author in the U.S. earns less than $6,000.00 a year, usually has a day job, and enjoys as much glam in their lives as any ordinary citizen if you don't! Lol.
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Do you know that you can walk into any book store in the U.S. and see our names on our books, right there on the shelf? Is that fame or what? And you will see them there, as long as we sold the book to a major publisher. And got a decent first print run. And weren't bumped off the schedule for a better-selling author. And if the bookseller ordered the title, and unpacked it, and shelved it. If you know precisely where to look. For a couple of weeks. Maybe. But it's another reason that being an author is a wonderful thing.
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Some of my author friends worry about author-bashing becoming the new scrapbooking. Ridiculous. There is no such thing as author-bashing, didn't you know that, silly? And really, what could equal the delights of gluing photo corners and pretty stickers to specialty acid-free paper illustrated with sooooooo cute widdle pink and blue teddy weddy bears? Unless of course you're being tormented by demons--
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--who stick redhot needles in your eyes while you're burning in hell.
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I think that would run a close second.
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Anyway, thank heavens authors don't have to worry about publishing being overrun with Hedda Hoppers. As for the tabloids, do you think the Clintons are worried about that story in the Globe? Will the story's writer be nominated for a Pulitzer Prize? Will it be aired on the Situation Room on CNN? Will Congress pass legislation making sex therapy available to any First Lady? Will Hillary Clinton open a therapy center for the tabloid journalists out there who keep bashing her?
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Maybe they could take scrapbooking classes.
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My advice? I suggest that we pass on by and leave the Hedda Hoppers where they belong -- one rack above the chewing gum.
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Related links:
[four]
Jeffrey Scott Shapiro, freelance journalist and former investigative reporter for the Globe, has some insights on how tabloids do business.
[three]
Daniel Gross's article Tabloid Shocker reveals that some tabloid dreck can't be made into commercial gold, and how much that's costing its owners.
[two]
Gotta go. Bye!
[one]
[FINALLY/YOU/DUMBASS1: Remote system administrator has deactivated modem self-destruct sequence. Thank you for disengaging. Please reinstall blog content monitoring software and reboot your computer before attempting to publish again. Happy writing and have a wonderful day.]
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Disclosure
On December 11, 2006, the Federal Trade Commission issued a statement that said companies engaging in word-of-mouth marketing, in which people are compensated to promote products to their peers, must disclose those relationships.
From the article:
"The FTC said it would investigate cases where there is a relationship between the endorser of a product and the seller that is not disclosed and could affect the endorsement. The FTC staff said it would go after violators on a case-by-case basis. Consequences could include a cease-and-desist order, fines and civil penalties ranging from thousands of dollars to millions of dollars."
Sobering stuff.
Many of you already know this, but for the benefit of those who don't, I never accept any form of compensation for what I write here at PBW. I don't participate in any online bookseller associate programs. I purchase every book that I give away with my own funds, or give away the free author copies of my novels that are provided to me under contract by my publisher. I pay for all packaging and shipping out of my own funds as well.
When authors, agents or publishers send me unsolicited manuscripts, ARCs or books, I either ship them back at my cost, send them to reviewers at my cost, or donate them to my local public library. I never sell or otherwise profit from them.
I've never been compensated for any quote I have provided for another author here or elsewhere, and I don't ask for or accept reciprocal quotes. I never pay other authors for promoting my novels on their web sites and weblogs, giving quotes for my novels, or otherwise endorsing my work. Anyone who does promote my novels does so freely by choice.
Many of you do go out and buy my novels because of what you read here, and I do receive royalties from the sales of those novels. This is the only form of profit I make that can be connected to my weblog. After the publisher, agent and Uncle Sam take their cuts, my share of the profits for my novels works out to about twenty cents per paperback and seventy-eight cents per hardcover. I appreciate anyone who invests in my novels, but I don't expect or demand it, and I have no control over those purchases.
So basically if the FTC comes knocking at my door, I have nothing to worry about.
Any blogger who is receiving any form of compensation for what they blog should post full disclosure policies as soon as possible. Even if the FTC never investigates you, your readers deserve to know, and it's the ethical thing to do. For more information on creating a disclosure policy for your weblog or web site, check out DisclosurePolicy.org.
From the article:
"The FTC said it would investigate cases where there is a relationship between the endorser of a product and the seller that is not disclosed and could affect the endorsement. The FTC staff said it would go after violators on a case-by-case basis. Consequences could include a cease-and-desist order, fines and civil penalties ranging from thousands of dollars to millions of dollars."
Sobering stuff.
Many of you already know this, but for the benefit of those who don't, I never accept any form of compensation for what I write here at PBW. I don't participate in any online bookseller associate programs. I purchase every book that I give away with my own funds, or give away the free author copies of my novels that are provided to me under contract by my publisher. I pay for all packaging and shipping out of my own funds as well.
When authors, agents or publishers send me unsolicited manuscripts, ARCs or books, I either ship them back at my cost, send them to reviewers at my cost, or donate them to my local public library. I never sell or otherwise profit from them.
I've never been compensated for any quote I have provided for another author here or elsewhere, and I don't ask for or accept reciprocal quotes. I never pay other authors for promoting my novels on their web sites and weblogs, giving quotes for my novels, or otherwise endorsing my work. Anyone who does promote my novels does so freely by choice.
Many of you do go out and buy my novels because of what you read here, and I do receive royalties from the sales of those novels. This is the only form of profit I make that can be connected to my weblog. After the publisher, agent and Uncle Sam take their cuts, my share of the profits for my novels works out to about twenty cents per paperback and seventy-eight cents per hardcover. I appreciate anyone who invests in my novels, but I don't expect or demand it, and I have no control over those purchases.
So basically if the FTC comes knocking at my door, I have nothing to worry about.
Any blogger who is receiving any form of compensation for what they blog should post full disclosure policies as soon as possible. Even if the FTC never investigates you, your readers deserve to know, and it's the ethical thing to do. For more information on creating a disclosure policy for your weblog or web site, check out DisclosurePolicy.org.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Future Creations Winner & Op Ten
The winner of the Future Creations giveaway is GracieLou, who should e-mail me at LynnViehl@aol.com with your full name and ship-to address, so I can get these books out to you. My thanks to everyone for sharing your plans for this new year.
One of my weblog goals for 2007 is to work on making PBW a better resource for writers of all genres. To hopefully get things off to a good start, here are
Ten Things about Market Ops
1. A Room of Her Own Foundation is now accepting applications for the 2006-2007 Gift of Freedom Award for Fiction (in short, a $50,000.00 grant to bankroll you while you work on a two-year project.) I usually don't list ops that require fees -- this one will cost you $35.00 -- but the idea behind it seems genuine and worthwhile. For female writers only; deadline to apply is February 1, 2007.
2. Anime Insider publishes nonfiction pieces on today's most popular anime and manga for kids and grownups. Varied pay and length; writers' guidelines available via snail mail; send SASE to Summer Mullins, Editor, Anime Insider, 151 Wells Ave., Congers, NY 10920-2036. Electronic submissions okay (Smullins@wizarduniverse.com); prefers query first. Wizard Entertainment Group, the magazine's publisher, also advertises jobs for writers, editors, interns and so forth online here.***
3. Blue Mountain Arts greeting cards are renown for their artistic designs and free verse poetry; varied pay and length, request current writer guidelines here.
4. Boys' Life magazine accepts YA nonfiction, fiction and other submissions, target reader is a boy aged 6 to 18; pays very well, submission guidelines are in .pdf format here; queries only (do not send unsolicited subs), no electronic submissions.
5. ByLine magazine for writers is also a decent market for fiction, how-to articles and more. Check out their submission guidelines here, no electronic submissions.
6. Carus Publishing has a slew of children's magazines it publishes; see specific guidelines for each at the links page here; no electronic submissions.
7. Looking for a market for your poetry or short fiction? Search by specifics with Duotrope's Digest.**
8. Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine has been publishing short mystery fiction since 1941, offer guidelines for writers here; .05 to .08/word, sometimes higher for established authors; no electronic submissions.
9. Funny Times magazine is always looking for humor fiction of 500-700 words, pays $60 upon publication; see details on what they want here.
10. Blind Eye Books is looking for short to longish (1K to 40K) character-driven science fiction, fantasy or paranormal romance featuring gay or lesbian protagonists for their anthology Tangle; check out the payment and sub guidelines here.*
*Original market listings found over at Ralan.com.
**Link swiped from Matt Cheney's place.
***Via the Market Report section of the January/February 2007 issue of Writer's Journal.
One of my weblog goals for 2007 is to work on making PBW a better resource for writers of all genres. To hopefully get things off to a good start, here are
Ten Things about Market Ops
1. A Room of Her Own Foundation is now accepting applications for the 2006-2007 Gift of Freedom Award for Fiction (in short, a $50,000.00 grant to bankroll you while you work on a two-year project.) I usually don't list ops that require fees -- this one will cost you $35.00 -- but the idea behind it seems genuine and worthwhile. For female writers only; deadline to apply is February 1, 2007.
2. Anime Insider publishes nonfiction pieces on today's most popular anime and manga for kids and grownups. Varied pay and length; writers' guidelines available via snail mail; send SASE to Summer Mullins, Editor, Anime Insider, 151 Wells Ave., Congers, NY 10920-2036. Electronic submissions okay (Smullins@wizarduniverse.com); prefers query first. Wizard Entertainment Group, the magazine's publisher, also advertises jobs for writers, editors, interns and so forth online here.***
3. Blue Mountain Arts greeting cards are renown for their artistic designs and free verse poetry; varied pay and length, request current writer guidelines here.
4. Boys' Life magazine accepts YA nonfiction, fiction and other submissions, target reader is a boy aged 6 to 18; pays very well, submission guidelines are in .pdf format here; queries only (do not send unsolicited subs), no electronic submissions.
5. ByLine magazine for writers is also a decent market for fiction, how-to articles and more. Check out their submission guidelines here, no electronic submissions.
6. Carus Publishing has a slew of children's magazines it publishes; see specific guidelines for each at the links page here; no electronic submissions.
7. Looking for a market for your poetry or short fiction? Search by specifics with Duotrope's Digest.**
8. Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine has been publishing short mystery fiction since 1941, offer guidelines for writers here; .05 to .08/word, sometimes higher for established authors; no electronic submissions.
9. Funny Times magazine is always looking for humor fiction of 500-700 words, pays $60 upon publication; see details on what they want here.
10. Blind Eye Books is looking for short to longish (1K to 40K) character-driven science fiction, fantasy or paranormal romance featuring gay or lesbian protagonists for their anthology Tangle; check out the payment and sub guidelines here.*
*Original market listings found over at Ralan.com.
**Link swiped from Matt Cheney's place.
***Via the Market Report section of the January/February 2007 issue of Writer's Journal.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Should Auld Acquaintance
Few people know this, but my mom is a pretty awesome writer. She's been published by Crossings as well as innumerable magazines and newspapers. These days she writes mostly to compete in contests, which she frequently wins. Two of her inspirational essays won her gift certificates that paid for her Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners this year. You'll never read about writers like her in Publisher's Lunch, but when you're seventy years old and on a fixed income, every little contest win means a hell of a lot.
Mom also keeps in touch with her favorite authors. She's not a pest, but she does write to them about their books, and sends Christmas cards to them. I never see the letters or cards, but I'm sure she mentions my books (I try not to think about this part too much.) Nearly all of them send personal, very kind responses every time. I can't tell you how much that means to her, or to me.
I'm not as decent or regular a correspondent as my mom. I've actually lost touch with 99.9% of the authors I met when I first started in the business. Leaving all the writer orgs and groups and the con circuit eliminated the only opportunities I had to see or talk with these folks, and moving my household several times after that didn't help. Then there was always my desire not to intrude on other writers' lives. I'm not sorry I got away from the hoopla, because I wasn't any good at it, but I do miss the writers who were especially kind or friendly to me during my season in hell.
I didn't know it, but my mom has been writing for years to one of those authors I lost touch with. Last year Mom finally showed me a Christmas card she'd received in response. In it, the writer asked how I was and if I was still writing (I'd just hit the USA Today BSL a month earlier; so much for my little blip of fame.) This year the same author wrote back again to Mom, asked if I would get in touch, and sent a private e-mail address.
That's not the kind of message someone sends when they're only being polite to a sweet old lady.
So here is my chance to mend one bridge and maybe become reacquainted with an old acquaintance. I don't know what the other author expects to hear, but I'm guessing it's not what I've got to tell. It's not as if I can condense what's happened to me over the last couple of years into some cheerful anecdotes. I really dread stuff like this. But, if for no other reason than to return some of the kindness shown to my mom, I will write back. That much I owe to the author.
If you're going out tonight, please be safe and make sure you've got a designated driver for the evening. No party or celebration is worth your life.
Happy New Year, everyone.
Mom also keeps in touch with her favorite authors. She's not a pest, but she does write to them about their books, and sends Christmas cards to them. I never see the letters or cards, but I'm sure she mentions my books (I try not to think about this part too much.) Nearly all of them send personal, very kind responses every time. I can't tell you how much that means to her, or to me.
I'm not as decent or regular a correspondent as my mom. I've actually lost touch with 99.9% of the authors I met when I first started in the business. Leaving all the writer orgs and groups and the con circuit eliminated the only opportunities I had to see or talk with these folks, and moving my household several times after that didn't help. Then there was always my desire not to intrude on other writers' lives. I'm not sorry I got away from the hoopla, because I wasn't any good at it, but I do miss the writers who were especially kind or friendly to me during my season in hell.
I didn't know it, but my mom has been writing for years to one of those authors I lost touch with. Last year Mom finally showed me a Christmas card she'd received in response. In it, the writer asked how I was and if I was still writing (I'd just hit the USA Today BSL a month earlier; so much for my little blip of fame.) This year the same author wrote back again to Mom, asked if I would get in touch, and sent a private e-mail address.
That's not the kind of message someone sends when they're only being polite to a sweet old lady.
So here is my chance to mend one bridge and maybe become reacquainted with an old acquaintance. I don't know what the other author expects to hear, but I'm guessing it's not what I've got to tell. It's not as if I can condense what's happened to me over the last couple of years into some cheerful anecdotes. I really dread stuff like this. But, if for no other reason than to return some of the kindness shown to my mom, I will write back. That much I owe to the author.
If you're going out tonight, please be safe and make sure you've got a designated driver for the evening. No party or celebration is worth your life.
Happy New Year, everyone.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Future Creations
The New Year is right around the corner, so I've been going over my plans for 2007. I'm not going to make any new resolutions, but continue with the gradual changes I've been making for the last couple of years: stay on a heart-healthy diet, exercise daily, eliminate material things I don't need, and keep things simple and minimal.
One of the arty stuff catalogs I get in the mail had a plaque in it with a quote from artist and author Sandra Magsamen: "The best way to predict your future is to create it." I liked that so much that I taped those words to my work monitor for the new year.
What words, plans or goals are you taking with you into 2007? Share them with us in comments to this post by midnight EST on Sunday, December 31st, 2006. I will draw one name from everyone who participates and send the winner a signed copy of my January release Plague of Memory by S.L. Viehl, along with unsigned copies of some of my favorite novels of 2006: Closer by Jo Leigh, Tied to the Tracks by Rosina Lippi, Talyn by Holly Lisle, Shadow Touch by Marjorie M. Liu, Tripping to Somewhere by Kristopher Reisz, and Bound by Sasha White. Giveaway open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.
One of the arty stuff catalogs I get in the mail had a plaque in it with a quote from artist and author Sandra Magsamen: "The best way to predict your future is to create it." I liked that so much that I taped those words to my work monitor for the new year.
What words, plans or goals are you taking with you into 2007? Share them with us in comments to this post by midnight EST on Sunday, December 31st, 2006. I will draw one name from everyone who participates and send the winner a signed copy of my January release Plague of Memory by S.L. Viehl, along with unsigned copies of some of my favorite novels of 2006: Closer by Jo Leigh, Tied to the Tracks by Rosina Lippi, Talyn by Holly Lisle, Shadow Touch by Marjorie M. Liu, Tripping to Somewhere by Kristopher Reisz, and Bound by Sasha White. Giveaway open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Friday 20
This is the last Q&A of the year. Ever since I started the Friday 20 back in January, we've gotten together almost every week to talk shop. You guys have asked some great questions, and I hope that some of my answers have helped a little. You've kept me on my toes for sure.
I don't know about you all, but the holidays wore me out, and I'm trying to recharge my physical and mental batteries. An orange a day, a long hot bubble bath every night, and doubling up on my morning meditation time have helped a bit.
The weather has railroaded my long afternoon walk all week, and cabin fever was starting to set in, so I took the kids to the mall yesterday to walk off some of the claustraphobia. One cheerful discovery while we were there: despite the January laydown date, Plague of Memory is already out on the shelves at Waldenbooks and BAM here, and evidently B&N.com is shipping it out now, too.
Cooking Light magazine has put out a cool 20th anniversary issue for January/February, the print version of which came in the mail today. Lots of recipes I want to try, and also some good ideas on how to improve your health by making small food and fitness changes instead of big ones.
One item in that article made me laugh: they suggest cooking at home more often, and starting out by making dinner at home once a week and working your way up slowly from there. Do people really eat out that much now? Except for anniversaries, birthdays and rare special occasions, I make dinner at home seven nights a week; I don't have to change a thing in that department. We won't talk about increasing the amount of whole grains and nuts in my diet; squirrels are already starting to look at me with lust in their beady little eyes.
So what's up with you guys? Recovered from the holidays yet? Got any final questions for me before we head into 2007?
I don't know about you all, but the holidays wore me out, and I'm trying to recharge my physical and mental batteries. An orange a day, a long hot bubble bath every night, and doubling up on my morning meditation time have helped a bit.
The weather has railroaded my long afternoon walk all week, and cabin fever was starting to set in, so I took the kids to the mall yesterday to walk off some of the claustraphobia. One cheerful discovery while we were there: despite the January laydown date, Plague of Memory is already out on the shelves at Waldenbooks and BAM here, and evidently B&N.com is shipping it out now, too.
Cooking Light magazine has put out a cool 20th anniversary issue for January/February, the print version of which came in the mail today. Lots of recipes I want to try, and also some good ideas on how to improve your health by making small food and fitness changes instead of big ones.
One item in that article made me laugh: they suggest cooking at home more often, and starting out by making dinner at home once a week and working your way up slowly from there. Do people really eat out that much now? Except for anniversaries, birthdays and rare special occasions, I make dinner at home seven nights a week; I don't have to change a thing in that department. We won't talk about increasing the amount of whole grains and nuts in my diet; squirrels are already starting to look at me with lust in their beady little eyes.
So what's up with you guys? Recovered from the holidays yet? Got any final questions for me before we head into 2007?
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Match Game
Let's play a game: see if you can match the writer to the fact:
1. Wrote one very popular novel in nine days on a rented typewriter.
2. Chose "Pansy" as the original title for their debut novel.
3. Penned this first book in an infamous series to stop from thinking about an upcoming marriage.
4. Quit working as general manager of a $30 million dollar company after a mid-life crisis in order to write.
5. Wrote in longhand while standing up at a tall desk.
6. Worked for several years as art editor for a national award-winning literary magazine.
7. Paid an editor to take off six months to collaborate on their debut novel.
8. Had a spouse who packed up and subsequently lost the only copies of unpublished manuscripts for eleven stories, one novel, and a number of poems.
9. Wrote with a quill pen dipped in ink.
10. After writing a first novel with a 5K first print run, wrote a second novel that spent 47 weeks on the New York Times besteller list.
A. Margaret Mitchell
B. Ian Fleming
C. Ernest Hemingway
D. PBW
E. Shelby Foote
F. John Grisham
G. Harper Lee
H. George Pelecanos
I. Ray Bradbury
J. Eugene O'Neill
No Googling, now -- and answers will be provided later today in comments.
1. Wrote one very popular novel in nine days on a rented typewriter.
2. Chose "Pansy" as the original title for their debut novel.
3. Penned this first book in an infamous series to stop from thinking about an upcoming marriage.
4. Quit working as general manager of a $30 million dollar company after a mid-life crisis in order to write.
5. Wrote in longhand while standing up at a tall desk.
6. Worked for several years as art editor for a national award-winning literary magazine.
7. Paid an editor to take off six months to collaborate on their debut novel.
8. Had a spouse who packed up and subsequently lost the only copies of unpublished manuscripts for eleven stories, one novel, and a number of poems.
9. Wrote with a quill pen dipped in ink.
10. After writing a first novel with a 5K first print run, wrote a second novel that spent 47 weeks on the New York Times besteller list.
A. Margaret Mitchell
B. Ian Fleming
C. Ernest Hemingway
D. PBW
E. Shelby Foote
F. John Grisham
G. Harper Lee
H. George Pelecanos
I. Ray Bradbury
J. Eugene O'Neill
No Googling, now -- and answers will be provided later today in comments.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Ten for Sale
Ten Things About Book Sales
Freeware caution: always scan free downloads of anything for bugs and other threats before dumping the programs into your hard drive.
1. The Internet Public Library's page on All-Time Bestselling Books and Authors.
2. Nearly one hundred years in the making: CaderBooks.com's Bestseller Lists 1900-1995.
3. [Note up front: the service is extremely overpriced, in my opinion, but it's your money if you want to spend it this way]: The Book Standard "offers look-ups for single titles, and provides both weekly and year-to-date sales figures for any edition of any book from January 2004 to present . . .Look-ups start at $85 for one ISBN, $145 for two, $340 for five and $600 for ten." I'd wager that the best time to use this service is right before January 1st to get the most accurate year-to-date sales figure.
4. The number to call Ingram and check on book supply, demand, and YTD sales from the indies: 1-615-213-6803 (free, limited to 5 titles per call, and you will need the title's ISBN number to use this service.)
5. Making Books ~ The Bestseller Lists: Totting up book sales is not as simple as one, two, three By Marina Krakovsky.
6. Track your book sales and that of your competition on Amazon.com using Sales Rank Watcher freeware.
7. Sales Tracking: New Ways to Drive Yourself Absolutely Crazy by Karyn Langhorne
8. Track Amazon.com sales ranking and run comparisons online with the still-free-with-registration serviceTitle-Z.
9. The Book Industry's Best-Seller Lists: What are they, and why do they matter so much? by Eliza Truitt.
10. What do those rank numbers mean, exactly? Read Rampant Techpress's article Understanding Amazon Sales Rank.
Freeware caution: always scan free downloads of anything for bugs and other threats before dumping the programs into your hard drive.
1. The Internet Public Library's page on All-Time Bestselling Books and Authors.
2. Nearly one hundred years in the making: CaderBooks.com's Bestseller Lists 1900-1995.
3. [Note up front: the service is extremely overpriced, in my opinion, but it's your money if you want to spend it this way]: The Book Standard "offers look-ups for single titles, and provides both weekly and year-to-date sales figures for any edition of any book from January 2004 to present . . .Look-ups start at $85 for one ISBN, $145 for two, $340 for five and $600 for ten." I'd wager that the best time to use this service is right before January 1st to get the most accurate year-to-date sales figure.
4. The number to call Ingram and check on book supply, demand, and YTD sales from the indies: 1-615-213-6803 (free, limited to 5 titles per call, and you will need the title's ISBN number to use this service.)
5. Making Books ~ The Bestseller Lists: Totting up book sales is not as simple as one, two, three By Marina Krakovsky.
6. Track your book sales and that of your competition on Amazon.com using Sales Rank Watcher freeware.
7. Sales Tracking: New Ways to Drive Yourself Absolutely Crazy by Karyn Langhorne
8. Track Amazon.com sales ranking and run comparisons online with the still-free-with-registration serviceTitle-Z.
9. The Book Industry's Best-Seller Lists: What are they, and why do they matter so much? by Eliza Truitt.
10. What do those rank numbers mean, exactly? Read Rampant Techpress's article Understanding Amazon Sales Rank.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Favs
In less than a week we'll be saying bye to 2006, and the "Best of" lists are already making the rounds. I don't pay much attention to the book biz lists, as those who prepare them won't offer anything beyond the usual ballot box and shirt stuffers. Often "best" serves as a synonym for "most-hyped," too; not very helpful.
I'm more interested in favorite lists. I want to know what novels people really read and enjoy, not what they buy and leave out on their coffee tables to impress their friends. I like learning what readers are putting on their keeper shelves, even those whose reading preferences are completely opposite of my own. Finding new and interesting books to expand my horizons as a reader is one of my endless quests. As a writer, it helps me to track trends and see how genre is changing, so I can figure out how what I write fits into that equation.
This week I'm finalizing my 2006 list for an end-of-the-year giveaway (stayed tuned to PBW for more details.) How about you guys? What were some of your favorite novels of 2006, and (if you don't mind sharing) what made them so special?
I'm more interested in favorite lists. I want to know what novels people really read and enjoy, not what they buy and leave out on their coffee tables to impress their friends. I like learning what readers are putting on their keeper shelves, even those whose reading preferences are completely opposite of my own. Finding new and interesting books to expand my horizons as a reader is one of my endless quests. As a writer, it helps me to track trends and see how genre is changing, so I can figure out how what I write fits into that equation.
This week I'm finalizing my 2006 list for an end-of-the-year giveaway (stayed tuned to PBW for more details.) How about you guys? What were some of your favorite novels of 2006, and (if you don't mind sharing) what made them so special?
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Now That They're Home
Ten Things to Keep the Kids Entertained
Freeware caution: always scan free downloads of anything for bugs and other threats before dumping the programs into your hard drive.
1. For your older kid gamer, download and let them build their own adventure games with the freeware version of AdventureMaker, or download one of the already-created games for Windows or PSP.
2. Sneak a bit of science into their online fun over at Greg Egan's Applets Gallery.
3. Get paper patterns the kids can color, cutout and make into critter models over at Download-A-Dinosaur or Download-A-Dragon.
4. Have the kids e-mail Santa; submit an e-mail address to get a reply.
5. Kaleidoscope Painter is a fun, simple Java art maker easy enough for even the little ones to use.
6. Let the kids express themselves -- and print out a copy of the results for mailing to Grandma -- over at The Museum of Modern Art's Make Your Own Art center or The National Gallery of Art's NGA Kids Zone.
7. A totally fun, kid-safe online short movie for Christmas: Ornaments.
8. Rooney Designs has an entire page of great online flash games for kids of all ages; lots of cool Christmas ones here.
9. My favorite Christmas e-card of all time: The Snowdog.
10. Remember SpiroGraph? You or your kid can play with one online here.
Freeware caution: always scan free downloads of anything for bugs and other threats before dumping the programs into your hard drive.
1. For your older kid gamer, download and let them build their own adventure games with the freeware version of AdventureMaker, or download one of the already-created games for Windows or PSP.
2. Sneak a bit of science into their online fun over at Greg Egan's Applets Gallery.
3. Get paper patterns the kids can color, cutout and make into critter models over at Download-A-Dinosaur or Download-A-Dragon.
4. Have the kids e-mail Santa; submit an e-mail address to get a reply.
5. Kaleidoscope Painter is a fun, simple Java art maker easy enough for even the little ones to use.
6. Let the kids express themselves -- and print out a copy of the results for mailing to Grandma -- over at The Museum of Modern Art's Make Your Own Art center or The National Gallery of Art's NGA Kids Zone.
7. A totally fun, kid-safe online short movie for Christmas: Ornaments.
8. Rooney Designs has an entire page of great online flash games for kids of all ages; lots of cool Christmas ones here.
9. My favorite Christmas e-card of all time: The Snowdog.
10. Remember SpiroGraph? You or your kid can play with one online here.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Friday 20
I have seen some user-unfriendly promo around the book biz, but the process of learning the title J.K. Rowling picked for her next (and last?) Harry Potter book is so complicated that it has to be explained step-by-step:
"...go to the author's official web site*, click on the eraser and you will be taken to a room — you'll see a window, a door and a mirror.
In the mirror, you'll see a hallway. Click on the farthest doorknob and look for the Christmas tree. Then click on the center of the door next to the mirror and a wreath appears. Then click on the top of the mirror and you'll see a garland.
Look for a cobweb next to the door. Click on it, and it will disappear. Now, look at the chimes in the window. Click on the second chime to the right, and hold it down. The chime will turn into the key, which opens the door. Click on the wrapped gift behind the door, then click on it again and figure out the title yourself by playing a game of hangman." -- (instructions swiped from Yahoo.com)
I only got it to work as far as clicking on the second chime to the right, but I freely admit that I'm hopeless at these gamer things. If you are, too, get a kid to do it; they'll probably have the title in under a minute.
Here at Casa PBW, we've wrapped up 99.9% of the prep for Christmas. The kids and I are baking the last of the cookies for our Christmas Eve party today, but that's about it. Santa, bring it on.
Other than what the heck was J.K. thinking, any questions out there for me this week?
*Added: Enter the UK version of the web site in order to get this game to work -- and thanks to Alphabeter for the tip.
"...go to the author's official web site*, click on the eraser and you will be taken to a room — you'll see a window, a door and a mirror.
In the mirror, you'll see a hallway. Click on the farthest doorknob and look for the Christmas tree. Then click on the center of the door next to the mirror and a wreath appears. Then click on the top of the mirror and you'll see a garland.
Look for a cobweb next to the door. Click on it, and it will disappear. Now, look at the chimes in the window. Click on the second chime to the right, and hold it down. The chime will turn into the key, which opens the door. Click on the wrapped gift behind the door, then click on it again and figure out the title yourself by playing a game of hangman." -- (instructions swiped from Yahoo.com)
I only got it to work as far as clicking on the second chime to the right, but I freely admit that I'm hopeless at these gamer things. If you are, too, get a kid to do it; they'll probably have the title in under a minute.
Here at Casa PBW, we've wrapped up 99.9% of the prep for Christmas. The kids and I are baking the last of the cookies for our Christmas Eve party today, but that's about it. Santa, bring it on.
Other than what the heck was J.K. thinking, any questions out there for me this week?
*Added: Enter the UK version of the web site in order to get this game to work -- and thanks to Alphabeter for the tip.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Assess and Respond
Devoted fans of Robert Heinlein and folks who only want to read holiday posts should probably skip my blog today.
There's something that has been bugging me, no pun intended, since I saw the movie adaptation of Heinlein's Starship Troopers back in '98. Now I understand from reading comparisons made by serious fans that the book and the movie aren't the same. Nor would I dare suggest otherwise since I haven't read the book and have no plans to. But (evidently) both the book and the movie have the same basic plot: future humans enter the military, train, go into space to find and fight giant alien bugs using long-range attacks to wipe out earth.
In the movie soldiers were sent across space to fight these bugs with fairly traditional air and ground forces; the same response humans use to combat other humans. And the troopers are slaughtered wholesale for most of the movie. So here's my question: in the future, there's no imiprothrin or cypermethrin*? Because you know, you drop some planetary-size nukes loaded to deliver those two active ingredients, and they'd kill the bugs on contact. And keep killing for up to four weeks after you bombed. Other than building the nukes and shooting them into space, no troop involvement would be required. NASA could handle it with a couple of Titan IVs.
How this relates to writing (because, of course, everything relates to writing): if you don't assess a problem correctly, you can't respond to it adequately. To kill a bug, you need a bug killer. Whatever problem you're having with your WIP or your work or your career, sending in the Marines won't work. You have to look at the problem then tailor a response that has the best chance of solving it.
Here's a recent industry example: The author vs. selling a debut novel. Author A writes a kickass debut novel with a fresh approach to an old genre standard, gets major pre-order buzz, wows the readers and ends up an overnight success. A year later, Author B publishes a knockoff of Author A's novel, is given a huge promotional push by the publisher in hopes of artificially generating the major pre-order buzz Author A got, drives off the readers with the hard sell and poor imitation, and ends up tanking badly.
They both did virtually the same thing -- and Author B got a multimillion-dollar book campaign that Author A was never given, so B should have actually done better. Where did Author B go wrong or, more correctly, where did Author A go right?
Two words say it all about Author A: fresh approach. What made A's novel kickass? The fresh approach. What got the pre-order buzz? The fresh approach. What wowed the readers? The fresh approach. What did B do? The exact opposite of what worked for A.
It's not always as simple as the situation with Author A and B. You may not have the means to give the best response to your problem. Or, however carefully you tailor your response, it may not solve it. That's when you reassess and tailor another response modified by the information you gather from the failure of the first attempt. It's like directions on shampoo bottles: Lather, rinse, repeat if necessary.
Okay, now you can yell at me for dissing Heinlein.
*the active ingredients in Raid Ant & Roach Killer
There's something that has been bugging me, no pun intended, since I saw the movie adaptation of Heinlein's Starship Troopers back in '98. Now I understand from reading comparisons made by serious fans that the book and the movie aren't the same. Nor would I dare suggest otherwise since I haven't read the book and have no plans to. But (evidently) both the book and the movie have the same basic plot: future humans enter the military, train, go into space to find and fight giant alien bugs using long-range attacks to wipe out earth.
In the movie soldiers were sent across space to fight these bugs with fairly traditional air and ground forces; the same response humans use to combat other humans. And the troopers are slaughtered wholesale for most of the movie. So here's my question: in the future, there's no imiprothrin or cypermethrin*? Because you know, you drop some planetary-size nukes loaded to deliver those two active ingredients, and they'd kill the bugs on contact. And keep killing for up to four weeks after you bombed. Other than building the nukes and shooting them into space, no troop involvement would be required. NASA could handle it with a couple of Titan IVs.
How this relates to writing (because, of course, everything relates to writing): if you don't assess a problem correctly, you can't respond to it adequately. To kill a bug, you need a bug killer. Whatever problem you're having with your WIP or your work or your career, sending in the Marines won't work. You have to look at the problem then tailor a response that has the best chance of solving it.
Here's a recent industry example: The author vs. selling a debut novel. Author A writes a kickass debut novel with a fresh approach to an old genre standard, gets major pre-order buzz, wows the readers and ends up an overnight success. A year later, Author B publishes a knockoff of Author A's novel, is given a huge promotional push by the publisher in hopes of artificially generating the major pre-order buzz Author A got, drives off the readers with the hard sell and poor imitation, and ends up tanking badly.
They both did virtually the same thing -- and Author B got a multimillion-dollar book campaign that Author A was never given, so B should have actually done better. Where did Author B go wrong or, more correctly, where did Author A go right?
Two words say it all about Author A: fresh approach. What made A's novel kickass? The fresh approach. What got the pre-order buzz? The fresh approach. What wowed the readers? The fresh approach. What did B do? The exact opposite of what worked for A.
It's not always as simple as the situation with Author A and B. You may not have the means to give the best response to your problem. Or, however carefully you tailor your response, it may not solve it. That's when you reassess and tailor another response modified by the information you gather from the failure of the first attempt. It's like directions on shampoo bottles: Lather, rinse, repeat if necessary.
Okay, now you can yell at me for dissing Heinlein.
*the active ingredients in Raid Ant & Roach Killer
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Blurb Translations
Ten Cover Quotes, And What They Really Mean
1. "A very sweet, wholesome story."
If this book were any more PC, it could run as the Republican presidential candidate.
2. "An interesting male spin on a love story."
Is it okay to send the author's wife a sympathy card before he's dead?
3. "Fast-paced and pithy."
I've read more engrossing bumperstickers.
4. "I want all my readers to buy this book."
My editor wants all my readers to buy this book.
5. "I'm so excited by this author's promising new talent."
Less competition! Hooray!
6. "Say hello to the next great literary mind."
(yawn) Next time, send me the Cliff Notes.
7. "This novel is a non-stop wild romp!"
You know, I think I've had less fun on some of my honeymoons.
8. "This one is a blockbuster in the making."
Tell me when I die that I can come back as this author's heir.
9. "Unbelievably wonderful -- the best book of the year."
I quoted what? How drunk did I get at that conference, anyway?
10. "You won't regret buying this novel."
Until after you read it.
1. "A very sweet, wholesome story."
If this book were any more PC, it could run as the Republican presidential candidate.
2. "An interesting male spin on a love story."
Is it okay to send the author's wife a sympathy card before he's dead?
3. "Fast-paced and pithy."
I've read more engrossing bumperstickers.
4. "I want all my readers to buy this book."
My editor wants all my readers to buy this book.
5. "I'm so excited by this author's promising new talent."
Less competition! Hooray!
6. "Say hello to the next great literary mind."
(yawn) Next time, send me the Cliff Notes.
7. "This novel is a non-stop wild romp!"
You know, I think I've had less fun on some of my honeymoons.
8. "This one is a blockbuster in the making."
Tell me when I die that I can come back as this author's heir.
9. "Unbelievably wonderful -- the best book of the year."
I quoted what? How drunk did I get at that conference, anyway?
10. "You won't regret buying this novel."
Until after you read it.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
What Counts
To date I've written one Christmas novel, Home for the Holidays, in which five strangers become stranded by bad weather at a bed & breakfast in the country. The innkeepers, three sisters, have to sacrifice the quiet family Christmas they had planned in order to shelter, feed and entertain the group. Everyone is initially depressed over having their Christmas ruined, and then as people in a bad situation usually do, they make the best of it.
When I was putting the story together, I thought about things that often get overlooked during the normal commercial holiday blitzkrieg: homemade gifts, special meals, true surprises, and revisiting one's childhood. In the book the sisters and their guests end up recreating some of their favorite memories from childhood, which become the gifts they give each other: cookies, handmade candy, a gingerbread house, knitted stockings, etc. In the end I think I nailed some of the elusive meaning behind that old gift-giving standard "it's the thought that counts."
On my desk in the office, for example, is a little hand-painted plaster Victorian house. My best friend made it for me eight years ago as a Christmas gift, and it's been on my desk ever since. It's so perfectly painted and detailed that it looks real, down to wee shaded bricks and tiny beribboned evergreen wreath on the front door. Journey diamonds or a PS3 would be probably worth more in monetary terms, but those things are just stuff anyone can buy. I think of my friend every time I look at this little house, so to me it's priceless.
You don't have to be a gifted artist to make a neat homemade gift. Since my hands aren't being cooperative enough to quilt this year, I've been burning some CDs with mixes of my favorite songs, putting together home movies and rifling through the junk shops for interesting antique books and vintage garments. I found a wonderful old sewing bag filled with a snarl of floss, embroidery wools and satin ribbon and detangled the lot for a friend who restores antique embroidery. I'm planning to make up some fruit and nut baskets for the family for when we go visiting, and I thought I'd see if I could do something more interesting with them (a bit like flower arranging; I'll have to experiment and see what I come up with.)
How about you guys? Are any of you hand-making gifts this year? Do you have any favorite handmade gifts you've received over the years? Or should we give it up and just stick with stuff?
When I was putting the story together, I thought about things that often get overlooked during the normal commercial holiday blitzkrieg: homemade gifts, special meals, true surprises, and revisiting one's childhood. In the book the sisters and their guests end up recreating some of their favorite memories from childhood, which become the gifts they give each other: cookies, handmade candy, a gingerbread house, knitted stockings, etc. In the end I think I nailed some of the elusive meaning behind that old gift-giving standard "it's the thought that counts."
On my desk in the office, for example, is a little hand-painted plaster Victorian house. My best friend made it for me eight years ago as a Christmas gift, and it's been on my desk ever since. It's so perfectly painted and detailed that it looks real, down to wee shaded bricks and tiny beribboned evergreen wreath on the front door. Journey diamonds or a PS3 would be probably worth more in monetary terms, but those things are just stuff anyone can buy. I think of my friend every time I look at this little house, so to me it's priceless.
You don't have to be a gifted artist to make a neat homemade gift. Since my hands aren't being cooperative enough to quilt this year, I've been burning some CDs with mixes of my favorite songs, putting together home movies and rifling through the junk shops for interesting antique books and vintage garments. I found a wonderful old sewing bag filled with a snarl of floss, embroidery wools and satin ribbon and detangled the lot for a friend who restores antique embroidery. I'm planning to make up some fruit and nut baskets for the family for when we go visiting, and I thought I'd see if I could do something more interesting with them (a bit like flower arranging; I'll have to experiment and see what I come up with.)
How about you guys? Are any of you hand-making gifts this year? Do you have any favorite handmade gifts you've received over the years? Or should we give it up and just stick with stuff?
Monday, December 18, 2006
Deck the Halls Ten
Ten Things Free for the Holidays
Freeware caution: always scan free downloads of anything for bugs and other threats before dumping the programs into your hard drive.
1. Four freeware screensaver downloads from Acez.com feature Frosty the Snowman skiing, a snowy winter wonderland, a 3D cube on which you can display your holiday photos, and one nutty Santa.
2. Celebrating Christmas magazine is offering their 2006 Holiday issue free for download in .pdf format.
3. Need a direct line to the man himself? Kids can talk to Santa online over at Chat With Santa.
4. Download some holiday music for free from FeelsLikeChristmas.com's MP3 collection.
5. Freegraphics.com has a decent link list to several collections of free Christmas graphics and clipart.
6. To help you cope with holiday depression, family-related stress, or those astronomical credit card bills, BillyGraham.org ministries is offering to send a free print copy of Why? by Anne Graham Lotz to residents in the U.S. and Canada (scroll down to the right side of the page and click on the cover image under Free This Month.)
7. Mac users can snag some Christmas freeware from MacMerc.com, courtesy of MacUpdate.com, which offers a bunch of other Mac freeware programs at their site.
8. For the kids (and us when the kids are busy) Skyline Software offers Prezzie Hunt, a Christmas game freeware.
9. Movavi's VideoMessage freeware allows you to create, e-mail and blog your own videos for the holidays.
10. Get all the Christmas-related shareware and freeware you need at XmasFun.com's free Xmas downloads page.
Finally, a freebie for readers: SF author Peter Watts has made his latest novel release, Blindsight, available for free download in zipped html or .pdf format, as he has with his backlist. If you'd like to discover a hard SF writer's take on vampires, go, download, and read. If you enjoy Peter's work, you can repay the author's generosity by spreading the word and/or buying a print copy of the novel.
Freeware caution: always scan free downloads of anything for bugs and other threats before dumping the programs into your hard drive.
1. Four freeware screensaver downloads from Acez.com feature Frosty the Snowman skiing, a snowy winter wonderland, a 3D cube on which you can display your holiday photos, and one nutty Santa.
2. Celebrating Christmas magazine is offering their 2006 Holiday issue free for download in .pdf format.
3. Need a direct line to the man himself? Kids can talk to Santa online over at Chat With Santa.
4. Download some holiday music for free from FeelsLikeChristmas.com's MP3 collection.
5. Freegraphics.com has a decent link list to several collections of free Christmas graphics and clipart.
6. To help you cope with holiday depression, family-related stress, or those astronomical credit card bills, BillyGraham.org ministries is offering to send a free print copy of Why? by Anne Graham Lotz to residents in the U.S. and Canada (scroll down to the right side of the page and click on the cover image under Free This Month.)
7. Mac users can snag some Christmas freeware from MacMerc.com, courtesy of MacUpdate.com, which offers a bunch of other Mac freeware programs at their site.
8. For the kids (and us when the kids are busy) Skyline Software offers Prezzie Hunt, a Christmas game freeware.
9. Movavi's VideoMessage freeware allows you to create, e-mail and blog your own videos for the holidays.
10. Get all the Christmas-related shareware and freeware you need at XmasFun.com's free Xmas downloads page.
Finally, a freebie for readers: SF author Peter Watts has made his latest novel release, Blindsight, available for free download in zipped html or .pdf format, as he has with his backlist. If you'd like to discover a hard SF writer's take on vampires, go, download, and read. If you enjoy Peter's work, you can repay the author's generosity by spreading the word and/or buying a print copy of the novel.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Signed and Filtered
The winner of the Twelve Reasons giveaway is Cora Zane, who should e-mail me at LynnViehl@aol.com with your full name and ship-to info so I can get these books out to you. Thanks again to everyone who joined in to help me celebrate the twelve very cool books of December.
While we were having fun here, I got a few e-mails on some of the hullabaloo regarding Thomas Nelson Publishers and their new "content filter" for their authors (Thomas Nelson CEO Michael Hyatt blogs his side of the story here.)
Let's see, I'm a writer of Christian fiction. If I understand Mr. Hyatt correctly, and I really lived according to biblical standards, I wouldn't be a writer -- women generally didn't hold down jobs in the Bible. They did walk around swaddled in a veil and robes made of homespun wool while being stuck in an arranged marriage raising twenty-one kids (if they hadn't already died in childbirth.) Or, if their family had kicked them out for not agreeing to the arranged marriage or whatever, they became hookers, enslaved, or died of starvation.
Sure, I'm going to do that for a publishing contract.
I do find this story ironic, as just last month I finished reading Nathaniel Philbrick's excellent book, Mayflower, in which he describes the enormous struggle and many deprivations our ancestors suffered in order to get away from people in England who imprisoned, ostracized and otherwise discriminated against them for their religious beliefs. Religious freedom is one of the fundamental reasons we founded, you know, America.
Assuming that Thomas Nelson Publishing will start a new content filter trend among publishers, and we'll all be forced to sign papers, what will other publishers require us to swear that we believe in or will adhere to in order to work for them?
Five Genre Content Filter Agreements of Tomorrow
Romance: I swear that I believe in true love, marriage, and happily ever afters. I will wait for my true love, and save myself for the honeymoon, unless: 1) I am coerced into having sex by a boy in high school or college, in which case it will be date rape or a fumbling quickie, during which I will not orgasm; 2) I find myself in serious financial trouble involving a beloved parent with no medical insurance but in desperate need of an organ transplant, which will force me to marry for money, in which case I will only marry a much older man who is unable to consummate our marriage due to closet homosexuality, an unspecified health problem, or a kindly paternal, protective nature (if possible, all three); or 3) I have sex with my true love before we are wed, in which case I will assure that I hit my head and develop sudden, total amnesia about the event that will only clear up after we are married. If I have babies with my true love before marriage, I will runaway and assure that the first is kept secret from him until baby is out of diapers and I get my figure back. If I have difficulties in my relationship with my true love, I will not dump him, but treat our problems as mere black moment preludes to our pending, unending happiness.
Science Fiction: I attest to these facts : I am an atheist and I believe in nothing but technology, logic, intelligence, physics, or anything else that highlights the sterile perfection of pure science. If I must have gods, they will be Heinlein and Vinge. I will write at least one novel about the singularity. I will have no meaningful personal relationships, and will not kiss, fall in love, have sex or do any of that mushy stuff with chicks. I will worship talking computers, NASA missions, outer space vistas, planets my species could never travel to, much less live on, and other cool futuristic things that make me feel as suave and powerful as Captain Kirk from Star Trek. I will never actually admit that I watched Star Trek.
Fantasy: I vow I shall do what'ere I can to emulate those fine manly lords of science fiction, only I shall substitute magic, dragons, Middle Earth, Tolkien and Lord of the Rings for technology, chastity, NASA, Kirk and Star Trek. Instead of tattered garments, I shall dress in period costumes which I shall purchase from the nearest SFCA merchant. I shall, as often as possible, be manly among many men of my ilk, but I shall elevate fine women to the status of faerie queens on pedestals, where they cannot meddle in my manly business. I shall hang at least one blunted, scale replica sword on the wall in every hall of my castle. I shall refer to my castle by a grand name with "dragon" in the title, even if it be only a single-wide trailer.
Erotica: I promise that when I'm not writing, I will personally test all the positions, partners and playthings that I write in my novel. I agree that I'll be too tired and happy to do anything else.
Mystery: I am signing this document as proof of my agreement to write the truth and nothing but the truth, at least before I tweak it. I will name my protagonist after an obscure 13th century Dutch painter, an obscure 13th century English poet, or an 80's porn star. No character of mine will ever have a successful or happy personal relationship, although they will frequently get laid offstage. I will write in every story at least one threatening ethnic sidekick with excellent underworld connections and a heart of gold whose main purpose will be to serve as a walking deus ex machina. (Male author) At cons I will sport an interesting beard, wear an interesting hat, or walk around in a cloud of Lagerfeld. (Female author) At cons I will maintain perfectly groomed helmet hair, wear navy or black suits that disguise my breasts, and never be seen without my thick red lipstick.
What do you guys think about this? Would you sign any sort of content filter agreement to land a publishing contract? Would you be okay with signing one even if you were lying about what you believed?
While we were having fun here, I got a few e-mails on some of the hullabaloo regarding Thomas Nelson Publishers and their new "content filter" for their authors (Thomas Nelson CEO Michael Hyatt blogs his side of the story here.)
Let's see, I'm a writer of Christian fiction. If I understand Mr. Hyatt correctly, and I really lived according to biblical standards, I wouldn't be a writer -- women generally didn't hold down jobs in the Bible. They did walk around swaddled in a veil and robes made of homespun wool while being stuck in an arranged marriage raising twenty-one kids (if they hadn't already died in childbirth.) Or, if their family had kicked them out for not agreeing to the arranged marriage or whatever, they became hookers, enslaved, or died of starvation.
Sure, I'm going to do that for a publishing contract.
I do find this story ironic, as just last month I finished reading Nathaniel Philbrick's excellent book, Mayflower, in which he describes the enormous struggle and many deprivations our ancestors suffered in order to get away from people in England who imprisoned, ostracized and otherwise discriminated against them for their religious beliefs. Religious freedom is one of the fundamental reasons we founded, you know, America.
Assuming that Thomas Nelson Publishing will start a new content filter trend among publishers, and we'll all be forced to sign papers, what will other publishers require us to swear that we believe in or will adhere to in order to work for them?
Five Genre Content Filter Agreements of Tomorrow
Romance: I swear that I believe in true love, marriage, and happily ever afters. I will wait for my true love, and save myself for the honeymoon, unless: 1) I am coerced into having sex by a boy in high school or college, in which case it will be date rape or a fumbling quickie, during which I will not orgasm; 2) I find myself in serious financial trouble involving a beloved parent with no medical insurance but in desperate need of an organ transplant, which will force me to marry for money, in which case I will only marry a much older man who is unable to consummate our marriage due to closet homosexuality, an unspecified health problem, or a kindly paternal, protective nature (if possible, all three); or 3) I have sex with my true love before we are wed, in which case I will assure that I hit my head and develop sudden, total amnesia about the event that will only clear up after we are married. If I have babies with my true love before marriage, I will runaway and assure that the first is kept secret from him until baby is out of diapers and I get my figure back. If I have difficulties in my relationship with my true love, I will not dump him, but treat our problems as mere black moment preludes to our pending, unending happiness.
Science Fiction: I attest to these facts : I am an atheist and I believe in nothing but technology, logic, intelligence, physics, or anything else that highlights the sterile perfection of pure science. If I must have gods, they will be Heinlein and Vinge. I will write at least one novel about the singularity. I will have no meaningful personal relationships, and will not kiss, fall in love, have sex or do any of that mushy stuff with chicks. I will worship talking computers, NASA missions, outer space vistas, planets my species could never travel to, much less live on, and other cool futuristic things that make me feel as suave and powerful as Captain Kirk from Star Trek. I will never actually admit that I watched Star Trek.
Fantasy: I vow I shall do what'ere I can to emulate those fine manly lords of science fiction, only I shall substitute magic, dragons, Middle Earth, Tolkien and Lord of the Rings for technology, chastity, NASA, Kirk and Star Trek. Instead of tattered garments, I shall dress in period costumes which I shall purchase from the nearest SFCA merchant. I shall, as often as possible, be manly among many men of my ilk, but I shall elevate fine women to the status of faerie queens on pedestals, where they cannot meddle in my manly business. I shall hang at least one blunted, scale replica sword on the wall in every hall of my castle. I shall refer to my castle by a grand name with "dragon" in the title, even if it be only a single-wide trailer.
Erotica: I promise that when I'm not writing, I will personally test all the positions, partners and playthings that I write in my novel. I agree that I'll be too tired and happy to do anything else.
Mystery: I am signing this document as proof of my agreement to write the truth and nothing but the truth, at least before I tweak it. I will name my protagonist after an obscure 13th century Dutch painter, an obscure 13th century English poet, or an 80's porn star. No character of mine will ever have a successful or happy personal relationship, although they will frequently get laid offstage. I will write in every story at least one threatening ethnic sidekick with excellent underworld connections and a heart of gold whose main purpose will be to serve as a walking deus ex machina. (Male author) At cons I will sport an interesting beard, wear an interesting hat, or walk around in a cloud of Lagerfeld. (Female author) At cons I will maintain perfectly groomed helmet hair, wear navy or black suits that disguise my breasts, and never be seen without my thick red lipstick.
What do you guys think about this? Would you sign any sort of content filter agreement to land a publishing contract? Would you be okay with signing one even if you were lying about what you believed?
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Twelve Reasons
The winner of the PBW's Eleven giveaway is Joyce, whose comment started with Patti O'Shea - read her first then got into her blog... and who should e-mail me at LynnViehl@aol.com with your full name and ship-to info so I can get these books out to you.
Tonight my dining room table is stacked with books I must ship, wrap, shelve, or sign and send to Mom. This will be daily duty for another couple of days, and a happy one. One more stop to make at the bookstore for some gift cards, and then I'll have finished my shopping for now. I'm already thinking what books I can buy for my daughter's upcoming birthday. I'm pretty sure that Kate DiCamillo has a new book out, and I think she'd enjoy some of Judy Blume's titles.
Some folks have asked why I give away so many books. Aside from the fact that it's fun, books are what we writers read, enjoy, anticipate, search for, collect, appreciate, ponder, pass along, discuss, analyze, fight for, and believe in. To us and our readers, books are like dreams we can hold in our hands. They're constant, uncomplaining companions who will go practically anywhere with us. To be able to write them is a privilege. So is sharing them.
I give books to everyone in my life. Under the tree this year will be novels by Jack London, Robert Louis Stevenson, P. L. Travers and Laura Ingalls Wilder, a guitar how-to guide, a collection of e.e.cummings, some art history books (my idea) and some guides on how to draw Manga (my teenager's idea.) While none of the books I buy as gifts have buttons, can be plugged in, make sound or come with their own collectible action figures, my kids still ask for them -- often by title -- every year. Take that, Nintendo.
I've had a blast over the last twelve days, and I thank all of you for joining in and posting so many great comments.
I have one more author/book story to tell you. The very first erotica book I ever read was one I picked up on a whim while out Christmas shopping. I bought it to see what the genre was all about, and picked the title because the author's name was Emma Holly (which sounded appropriately seasonal.) I have fairly decent luck finding good authors with this method, but Emma Holly's work proved to be so exceptional that it blew me away. Based on the strength of that one novel, I bought up her entire backlist. I've also bought everything she's written since.
From paranormal historicals to steampunk romantica to contemporary erotica, Emma Holly's range keeps expanding and providing readers with a terrific variety of novels every year. She's got a very distinct voice and style that stands out whatever she writes. I also can't think of a better author to warm up someone on a cold night, so I'm making All U Can Eat by Emma Holly the twelfth verycool hot book of December.
For a chance to win today's giveaway, in comments to this post name a favorite author you found by happy accident (or, if you're not accident-prone, just throw your name in the hat) by midnight EST on December 16, 2006. I'll draw one name from everyone who participates and send the winner unsigned copies of All U Can Eat, The Demon's Daughter and Prince of Ice by Emma Holly and Talyn by Holly Lisle. I will also send you the very first print copy of my January '07 release, Plague of Memory (and thanks again to my very kind editor for providing the early copy for the giveaway.) Giveaway open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.
Tonight my dining room table is stacked with books I must ship, wrap, shelve, or sign and send to Mom. This will be daily duty for another couple of days, and a happy one. One more stop to make at the bookstore for some gift cards, and then I'll have finished my shopping for now. I'm already thinking what books I can buy for my daughter's upcoming birthday. I'm pretty sure that Kate DiCamillo has a new book out, and I think she'd enjoy some of Judy Blume's titles.
Some folks have asked why I give away so many books. Aside from the fact that it's fun, books are what we writers read, enjoy, anticipate, search for, collect, appreciate, ponder, pass along, discuss, analyze, fight for, and believe in. To us and our readers, books are like dreams we can hold in our hands. They're constant, uncomplaining companions who will go practically anywhere with us. To be able to write them is a privilege. So is sharing them.
I give books to everyone in my life. Under the tree this year will be novels by Jack London, Robert Louis Stevenson, P. L. Travers and Laura Ingalls Wilder, a guitar how-to guide, a collection of e.e.cummings, some art history books (my idea) and some guides on how to draw Manga (my teenager's idea.) While none of the books I buy as gifts have buttons, can be plugged in, make sound or come with their own collectible action figures, my kids still ask for them -- often by title -- every year. Take that, Nintendo.
I've had a blast over the last twelve days, and I thank all of you for joining in and posting so many great comments.
I have one more author/book story to tell you. The very first erotica book I ever read was one I picked up on a whim while out Christmas shopping. I bought it to see what the genre was all about, and picked the title because the author's name was Emma Holly (which sounded appropriately seasonal.) I have fairly decent luck finding good authors with this method, but Emma Holly's work proved to be so exceptional that it blew me away. Based on the strength of that one novel, I bought up her entire backlist. I've also bought everything she's written since.
From paranormal historicals to steampunk romantica to contemporary erotica, Emma Holly's range keeps expanding and providing readers with a terrific variety of novels every year. She's got a very distinct voice and style that stands out whatever she writes. I also can't think of a better author to warm up someone on a cold night, so I'm making All U Can Eat by Emma Holly the twelfth very
For a chance to win today's giveaway, in comments to this post name a favorite author you found by happy accident (or, if you're not accident-prone, just throw your name in the hat) by midnight EST on December 16, 2006. I'll draw one name from everyone who participates and send the winner unsigned copies of All U Can Eat, The Demon's Daughter and Prince of Ice by Emma Holly and Talyn by Holly Lisle. I will also send you the very first print copy of my January '07 release, Plague of Memory (and thanks again to my very kind editor for providing the early copy for the giveaway.) Giveaway open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.
Friday, December 15, 2006
PBW's Eleven
The winner of the No Thanks Ten giveaway is Paula, whose comment read Porcelain or whatnot figurines. I don't have enough shelf space as it is, I'm too lazy to dust them, and I'm not fond of them anyway (a woman after my own heart.) Paula, please e-mail me at LynnViehl@aol.com with your full name and ship-to info so I can get these books out to you.
Writers who blog were once rare creatures. I got started back in 2001, when weblogs in general were just beginning to snowball. In those days web sites, newsgroups and discussion boards were considered much more the thing for an author to do. I did the web site and had some fun with that, but I've been keeping journals since 1974, and a blog appealed to me as fun and a steady writing challenge. I've been blogging almost daily ever since (even when I retreated to my ivory tower in 2003 to sulk for eleven months, I still kept an online journal. I just moved and renamed it and didn't tell anyone about it.)
I try to read as many new or new-to-me writers as I can every year, but because I read all genres it's impossible to keep up with everyone out there. Luckily weblogs have introduced me to folks whom I might have otherwise missed. Many of these have added great books to my shelves, inspired me to work harder on my own novels, and have motivated me, entertained me and got me in gear when I felt depressed or apathetic.
Among the many, some shining examples:
1. I think I missed reading Douglas Clegg because his books were probably shelved either in horror or literary, two places I usually avoid at the book store. Since he now takes up a good chunk of my keeper shelf, I am pathetically grateful I found him via blogging.
2. & 3. I discovered Donna Hill via Monica Jackson. Monica talked openly about disturbing things that for years I'd been watching RWA sweep under the carpet or pretend wasn't happening. Donna's work was a cache of jewels in a puzzle box. Monica was an epiphany online and in print.
4. I finally met another author who quilted when I ran into Tamara Siler Jones online, and then discovered the nice quilting lady also wrote dark, intense mysteries with the most unique setting and cast of characters I'd seen in a long time.
5. & 6. Alison Kent had one of the most energetic and polished blogs I'd ever read, and in turn led me to Jo Leigh, who is truly one of the nicest authors I've (virtually) met, and who got me back to reading category romance. So where were you guys when I belonged to RWA?
7. Marjorie M. Liu I had seen on the lists, but the down-to-earth fun contained in her journal convinced me to overcome my aversion to Clarion alumni and give her books a go. She not only turned me into a fangirl, but now I have to take back all the bad things I've said about Clarion.
8. Kristopher Reisz's weblog has made me laugh so hard I almost dislocated a rib, multiple times. Given his blog, how could I resist his work in print?
9. I don't think Shannon Stacey knows it, but her weblog is the reason I enabled comments on PBW (now she'll drive herself crazy wondering why.) She reminded me daily that it's okay to be who you are and not to sweat the small stuff. She's also one hell of a writer.
10. Sasha White's blog reminded me of my nefarious youth (among other things, I once moonlighted as a bartender.) In the south we'd describe Sasha's books by fanning ourselves and uttering two words: Have mercy.
11. Last but not least, James R. Winter snagged my attention with a comment on another blog (a comment that I wished I'd made); I tracked him down to see what else he had to say. Not one to suffer fools, is our pal James. I like that attitude in the fiction I read, and when I bought his book I wasn't disappointed for a moment.
I know for a fact how much work goes into being a writer who blogs, and how little that effort is recognized and appreciated. For the many hours of reading pleasure off and online that the above named writers have given me, I'm making them the eleven very cool writers of December.
For a chance to win today's giveaway, in comments to this post name an author/blogger you enjoy reading in print, and whether you discovered their books or weblog first (or, if you don't read any author/bloggers, just throw your name in the hat) by midnight EST on December 15, 2006. I'll draw one name from everyone who participates and send the winner one book by each of my eleven very cool authors: unsigned copies of Mordred, Bastard Son by Douglas Clegg, Getting Hers by Donna Hill, Mr. Right Now by Monica Jackson, Valley of the Soul by Tamara Siler Jones, Beyond a Shadow by Alison Kent, Closer by Jo Leigh, Eye of Heaven by Marjorie M. Liu, Tripping to Somewhere by Kristopher Reisz, Forever Again by Shannon Stacey, Gypsy Heart by Sasha White, Northcoast Shakedown by James R. Winter and Talyn by Holly Lisle. Giveaway open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.
Writers who blog were once rare creatures. I got started back in 2001, when weblogs in general were just beginning to snowball. In those days web sites, newsgroups and discussion boards were considered much more the thing for an author to do. I did the web site and had some fun with that, but I've been keeping journals since 1974, and a blog appealed to me as fun and a steady writing challenge. I've been blogging almost daily ever since (even when I retreated to my ivory tower in 2003 to sulk for eleven months, I still kept an online journal. I just moved and renamed it and didn't tell anyone about it.)
I try to read as many new or new-to-me writers as I can every year, but because I read all genres it's impossible to keep up with everyone out there. Luckily weblogs have introduced me to folks whom I might have otherwise missed. Many of these have added great books to my shelves, inspired me to work harder on my own novels, and have motivated me, entertained me and got me in gear when I felt depressed or apathetic.
Among the many, some shining examples:
1. I think I missed reading Douglas Clegg because his books were probably shelved either in horror or literary, two places I usually avoid at the book store. Since he now takes up a good chunk of my keeper shelf, I am pathetically grateful I found him via blogging.
2. & 3. I discovered Donna Hill via Monica Jackson. Monica talked openly about disturbing things that for years I'd been watching RWA sweep under the carpet or pretend wasn't happening. Donna's work was a cache of jewels in a puzzle box. Monica was an epiphany online and in print.
4. I finally met another author who quilted when I ran into Tamara Siler Jones online, and then discovered the nice quilting lady also wrote dark, intense mysteries with the most unique setting and cast of characters I'd seen in a long time.
5. & 6. Alison Kent had one of the most energetic and polished blogs I'd ever read, and in turn led me to Jo Leigh, who is truly one of the nicest authors I've (virtually) met, and who got me back to reading category romance. So where were you guys when I belonged to RWA?
7. Marjorie M. Liu I had seen on the lists, but the down-to-earth fun contained in her journal convinced me to overcome my aversion to Clarion alumni and give her books a go. She not only turned me into a fangirl, but now I have to take back all the bad things I've said about Clarion.
8. Kristopher Reisz's weblog has made me laugh so hard I almost dislocated a rib, multiple times. Given his blog, how could I resist his work in print?
9. I don't think Shannon Stacey knows it, but her weblog is the reason I enabled comments on PBW (now she'll drive herself crazy wondering why.) She reminded me daily that it's okay to be who you are and not to sweat the small stuff. She's also one hell of a writer.
10. Sasha White's blog reminded me of my nefarious youth (among other things, I once moonlighted as a bartender.) In the south we'd describe Sasha's books by fanning ourselves and uttering two words: Have mercy.
11. Last but not least, James R. Winter snagged my attention with a comment on another blog (a comment that I wished I'd made); I tracked him down to see what else he had to say. Not one to suffer fools, is our pal James. I like that attitude in the fiction I read, and when I bought his book I wasn't disappointed for a moment.
I know for a fact how much work goes into being a writer who blogs, and how little that effort is recognized and appreciated. For the many hours of reading pleasure off and online that the above named writers have given me, I'm making them the eleven very cool writers of December.
For a chance to win today's giveaway, in comments to this post name an author/blogger you enjoy reading in print, and whether you discovered their books or weblog first (or, if you don't read any author/bloggers, just throw your name in the hat) by midnight EST on December 15, 2006. I'll draw one name from everyone who participates and send the winner one book by each of my eleven very cool authors: unsigned copies of Mordred, Bastard Son by Douglas Clegg, Getting Hers by Donna Hill, Mr. Right Now by Monica Jackson, Valley of the Soul by Tamara Siler Jones, Beyond a Shadow by Alison Kent, Closer by Jo Leigh, Eye of Heaven by Marjorie M. Liu, Tripping to Somewhere by Kristopher Reisz, Forever Again by Shannon Stacey, Gypsy Heart by Sasha White, Northcoast Shakedown by James R. Winter and Talyn by Holly Lisle. Giveaway open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.
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