Ten Things That Wreck Your Writer Karma
1. Attacking Dan Brown for writing The DaVinci Code, but only because he's made so much money.
Guess who reads your new book, decides to give it a quote, and stops by your weblog to let you know the very same day you compare him to pond scum?
2. Supporting a group you dislike out of fear for your career.
Any rat can become a cannibal. Multiply that by the membership roster.
3. Tampering with another author's books at the store because you think they don't deserve to sell.
Most book stores have security cameras, and very bored employees. You could end up publishing's Gary Brolsma.
4. Refusing to shake hands with readers at your booksigning.
Some highly contagious people are easily offended, excellent spitters.
5. Sucking up to a reviewer in hopes of getting a good write-up.
This is like becoming a necrophiliac for the romance, but guess who gets screwed?
6. Deciding that You Know Everything About Publishing immediately after you sell your first book.
Hello, Three Book Career.
7. Telling your editor the his/her incompetence is ruining your novel, when it's really your lousy writing.
No contract -- or editor's patience -- lasts forever.
8. Pretending never to have heard of or read a popular author.
That's okay. They won't have to pretend about you.
9. Making a ton of money as an author but sponging off the unpublished at cons because you're cheap.
Someday, chapter two of the industry expose.
10. At the big writer's conference, not allowing an exhausted handicapped person to sit down on the only empty chair in the hotel lobby while she waits for the elevator jam to disperse. Why? Because you're having a private conversation with your best girlfriend.
Gimps have very long memories, and you were wearing that big, easy-to-read conference name tag around your neck.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Distractions
I'm taking a break from editing to write this post for tomorrow morning. The little turn-dial timer on my desk is set for ten minutes, in case I get distracted. When that bells dings, I will sign off and go back to work.
PBW's secret weapon against internet time-sinkage: a kitchen timer.
Using a timer to regulate my online time is something I started when I used to moderate writer think tank sessions in chat. Writers can ramble on forever, so the group and I would use the timer to brainstorm a writing problem in ten minutes or less. Everyone got a chance to talk about their work but we kept it focused and efficient.
The timer allows me to spend about an hour total on the internet each day without getting sucked into it. Bell dings, time's up. While I'm on (besides writing posts) I use the time to read weblogs, hit some web sites, gather links and answer e-mail. If anything on the internet or related to it gets me angry, I sign off and walk away.
I have no problem doing this. I unplugged from the internet once for a year after discovering it was taking over my life and messing with my work. Unplugging taught me that I don't have to be online to have fun.
Being online is fun, though, isn't it? The internet is a great research tool, and for many of us it's an ever-changing window to the rest of the world. For writers, weblogs and websites can be very effective in the self-marketing department.
Online friends are truly wonderful. Low-maintenance, generally funny, happy, and trouble-free folks who you see when you want. Unlike your RL friend Bubba who shows up drunk on your doorstep at three a.m. with two hookers, no money, and an Impala with a screwdriver in the ignition. Okay, Alison did send two guys over here once, but it was strictly for professional reasons . . . .
Anyway, I'm all for fun and promo and friends who don't boost cars, but the timer keeps me from getting too distracted by them. So does walking away when I get steamed. Even when I feel passionately about something, like the censorship of romance writers, keeping an emotional balance is more important.
The internet is part of my life. It's just not going to take over my life.
Ding -- time's up.
PBW's secret weapon against internet time-sinkage: a kitchen timer.
Using a timer to regulate my online time is something I started when I used to moderate writer think tank sessions in chat. Writers can ramble on forever, so the group and I would use the timer to brainstorm a writing problem in ten minutes or less. Everyone got a chance to talk about their work but we kept it focused and efficient.
The timer allows me to spend about an hour total on the internet each day without getting sucked into it. Bell dings, time's up. While I'm on (besides writing posts) I use the time to read weblogs, hit some web sites, gather links and answer e-mail. If anything on the internet or related to it gets me angry, I sign off and walk away.
I have no problem doing this. I unplugged from the internet once for a year after discovering it was taking over my life and messing with my work. Unplugging taught me that I don't have to be online to have fun.
Being online is fun, though, isn't it? The internet is a great research tool, and for many of us it's an ever-changing window to the rest of the world. For writers, weblogs and websites can be very effective in the self-marketing department.
Online friends are truly wonderful. Low-maintenance, generally funny, happy, and trouble-free folks who you see when you want. Unlike your RL friend Bubba who shows up drunk on your doorstep at three a.m. with two hookers, no money, and an Impala with a screwdriver in the ignition. Okay, Alison did send two guys over here once, but it was strictly for professional reasons . . . .
Anyway, I'm all for fun and promo and friends who don't boost cars, but the timer keeps me from getting too distracted by them. So does walking away when I get steamed. Even when I feel passionately about something, like the censorship of romance writers, keeping an emotional balance is more important.
The internet is part of my life. It's just not going to take over my life.
Ding -- time's up.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
RWA Responds
I'm stealing this from the Big Sister post comments so it doesn't get missed:
Author and new RWA member Marlys Pearson wrote a letter to the board about the current censorship controversy, and she's receiving responses and posting them here.
Author and new RWA member Marlys Pearson wrote a letter to the board about the current censorship controversy, and she's receiving responses and posting them here.
Party
According to my editor, PW didn't trash my new book. They were nice. Which is like a hangman admiring your neck, but okay.
[rest of post deleted. Old PW wounds.]
[rest of post deleted. Old PW wounds.]
HotM
Heat of the Moment
Author Name/Publisher: Jessica Hall, Onyx
Mass Market Paperback, U.S., $6.99 cover price
Distribution: National
Publication Date: 10/01/04
Advance: $15,000.00
Royalties: 6-8%
Current Released to date: 24,162
Reserved against returns: 0
Current returns: 6,431
Sell-through: 73%
This is the first royalty statement on this novel, and HotM did modestly well. I prefer to see my sell-through a little higher, but considering the state of the market, the genre, and romance's short shelf life, I won't complain. In romance I'm definitely midlist, and these days a midlist writer is lucky to sell 5,000 copies. The book is still selling, however, so I hope to earn out my advance. A good if not stellar performance (to see a scan .jpg of the actual statement, click here.)
If you look at it from the promote-or-die angle, this book should not have sold this well. There was no publicity for it, and like most of my books, the small first print run kept it out of the front of the store. At the time I was tied up with hurricanes, cancer surgery and launching Darkyn, so like most of my other books, I did zero promotion for this one.
Given the circumstances, I'd say that the novel sold as well as it did due to three factors: the Jessica Hall name, the story, and word of mouth by my readers. Our pal Tam always talks about stories needing to resonate with readers; judging by the fan mail, this one did.
HotM was a good story for me personally for a couple of reasons. It was the first book I wrote after I unplugged from the internet: no distractions. I fell in love with Terri and Cort in my previous JH novel, where they were secondary characters. I had just hooked up with an editor who got me, so I relaxed and finally wrote a romance the way I wanted to. It was a rush, too; one of those novels that just pours out of you. My editor in turn did a brilliant job on her end and drew even more out of me with a light but dead-on revision. I felt as if I came into my own with this book.
After seeing the statement, I don't know what Jessica Hall's future is. I have two more JH novels outlined: Some Like it Hot, Caine and Moriah's story, and Dark Side, a standalone with Jo Edgeway, who has been mentioned but has yet to make an appearance in the JH novels. My editor and I have talked casually about doing another book in the near future. I'm a romance writer at heart, so I don't want to walk away from the genre, especially now that the Sisters of the Immaculate Love Scene are trying to censor it.
I also have to be realistic. Romantic suspense is a hard sell and extremely competitive, and I'm doing a lot better in other areas. Publishers buy what works. HotM worked, but not as effectively as my SF and vamp novels. I'm at the mercy of chains ordering to the net, an over-crowded genre, and a writing schedule that makes psychosis look fun. There are other things I want to do.
On that slightly depressing note, any questions, comments, thoughts?
Author Name/Publisher: Jessica Hall, Onyx
Mass Market Paperback, U.S., $6.99 cover price
Distribution: National
Publication Date: 10/01/04
Advance: $15,000.00
Royalties: 6-8%
Current Released to date: 24,162
Reserved against returns: 0
Current returns: 6,431
Sell-through: 73%
This is the first royalty statement on this novel, and HotM did modestly well. I prefer to see my sell-through a little higher, but considering the state of the market, the genre, and romance's short shelf life, I won't complain. In romance I'm definitely midlist, and these days a midlist writer is lucky to sell 5,000 copies. The book is still selling, however, so I hope to earn out my advance. A good if not stellar performance (to see a scan .jpg of the actual statement, click here.)
If you look at it from the promote-or-die angle, this book should not have sold this well. There was no publicity for it, and like most of my books, the small first print run kept it out of the front of the store. At the time I was tied up with hurricanes, cancer surgery and launching Darkyn, so like most of my other books, I did zero promotion for this one.
Given the circumstances, I'd say that the novel sold as well as it did due to three factors: the Jessica Hall name, the story, and word of mouth by my readers. Our pal Tam always talks about stories needing to resonate with readers; judging by the fan mail, this one did.
HotM was a good story for me personally for a couple of reasons. It was the first book I wrote after I unplugged from the internet: no distractions. I fell in love with Terri and Cort in my previous JH novel, where they were secondary characters. I had just hooked up with an editor who got me, so I relaxed and finally wrote a romance the way I wanted to. It was a rush, too; one of those novels that just pours out of you. My editor in turn did a brilliant job on her end and drew even more out of me with a light but dead-on revision. I felt as if I came into my own with this book.
After seeing the statement, I don't know what Jessica Hall's future is. I have two more JH novels outlined: Some Like it Hot, Caine and Moriah's story, and Dark Side, a standalone with Jo Edgeway, who has been mentioned but has yet to make an appearance in the JH novels. My editor and I have talked casually about doing another book in the near future. I'm a romance writer at heart, so I don't want to walk away from the genre, especially now that the Sisters of the Immaculate Love Scene are trying to censor it.
I also have to be realistic. Romantic suspense is a hard sell and extremely competitive, and I'm doing a lot better in other areas. Publishers buy what works. HotM worked, but not as effectively as my SF and vamp novels. I'm at the mercy of chains ordering to the net, an over-crowded genre, and a writing schedule that makes psychosis look fun. There are other things I want to do.
On that slightly depressing note, any questions, comments, thoughts?
Monday, June 27, 2005
Incoming
Offensive Material Alert: tomorrow morning I'm going to post my numbers and analyze some of the factors involved/not involved with the market performance of Heat of the Moment, my last published JH romance novel. This particular book was born on the internet; I plotted it out live during an online workshop.
Also, we're in the midst of a deluge here, so if I don't show up, you'll know I'm on the cell phone yelling at the power company.
Also, we're in the midst of a deluge here, so if I don't show up, you'll know I'm on the cell phone yelling at the power company.
Way Out Ten
Ten Things About Outside Artists
1. Aw Boon Haw -- the Tiger Balm gardens inspired the dragon wall in my third JH novel.
2. Ferdinand Cheval -- a must-see if you're in this part of France.
3. S.P. Dinsmoor -- he liked his creation so much he had himself entombed in it.
4. Ed Leedskalnin -- I lived about thirty minutes from this most of my life, and yet never visited it until 1996. It reminded me of the moai on Easter Island -- mysterious, inexplicable, wonderfully creepy.
5. Simon Rodia -- a little more info about the Watts Towers can be found here.
6. Ed Root -- some of his work was saved, but the rest is at the bottom of Lake Wilson.
7. Herman Rusch -- efforts are being made to save this outsider artist's sculpture garden.
8. Clarence Schmidt -- I first saw the House of Mirrors in a 1968 issue of Art in America, which I picked up at the library book sale. I was reminded of it again when I read Douglas Clegg's Harrow novels. Schmidt was supposedly harmless, but I got a very nasty vibe simply from seeing photos of this place.
9. James Tellen -- buried some of his early work in his yard.
10. Father Mathias Wernerus -- inspiration for a character in an upcoming Darkyn novel.
1. Aw Boon Haw -- the Tiger Balm gardens inspired the dragon wall in my third JH novel.
2. Ferdinand Cheval -- a must-see if you're in this part of France.
3. S.P. Dinsmoor -- he liked his creation so much he had himself entombed in it.
4. Ed Leedskalnin -- I lived about thirty minutes from this most of my life, and yet never visited it until 1996. It reminded me of the moai on Easter Island -- mysterious, inexplicable, wonderfully creepy.
5. Simon Rodia -- a little more info about the Watts Towers can be found here.
6. Ed Root -- some of his work was saved, but the rest is at the bottom of Lake Wilson.
7. Herman Rusch -- efforts are being made to save this outsider artist's sculpture garden.
8. Clarence Schmidt -- I first saw the House of Mirrors in a 1968 issue of Art in America, which I picked up at the library book sale. I was reminded of it again when I read Douglas Clegg's Harrow novels. Schmidt was supposedly harmless, but I got a very nasty vibe simply from seeing photos of this place.
9. James Tellen -- buried some of his early work in his yard.
10. Father Mathias Wernerus -- inspiration for a character in an upcoming Darkyn novel.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Shriek of Joy
There's a new Pride and Prejudice movie on the way. (Other rabid P&P fans, go hug Sara Donati for posting the news and link on her blog.)
Winners
All of the bribes are in, so it's time to announce the winners of the Bam MacBride contest:
Jim for his entry, "Grendel slashed my wrists today..."
Darren Wheatley for his entry, MacYoda.
Well done, guys, and congratulations. You each win a brand-new U.S. edition of Cold Granite by Stuart MacBride. Send your promised payoffs and snail mail addresses to me at LynnViehl@aol.com.
One of our contestants decided to take herself out of the contestso she wouldn't get sued because she wanted to give someone else the chance to win, and told me she had already planned to buy Cold Granite when it hits the stores in her town.
Well, we can't allow that kind of extreme generosity to go unchallenged, so Ms. Tam, I'm sending you my reading copy of Cold Granite (the cat hair, tea stains and crayon scribbles no extra charge), and you also score a signed UK edition whenever the Brits get around to shipping them to me.
Thanks to all for helping me torment the Scot.
Jim for his entry, "Grendel slashed my wrists today..."
Darren Wheatley for his entry, MacYoda.
Well done, guys, and congratulations. You each win a brand-new U.S. edition of Cold Granite by Stuart MacBride. Send your promised payoffs and snail mail addresses to me at LynnViehl@aol.com.
One of our contestants decided to take herself out of the contest
Well, we can't allow that kind of extreme generosity to go unchallenged, so Ms. Tam, I'm sending you my reading copy of Cold Granite (the cat hair, tea stains and crayon scribbles no extra charge), and you also score a signed UK edition whenever the Brits get around to shipping them to me.
Thanks to all for helping me torment the Scot.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Big Sister
I had to wait 24 hours before I commented on the latest stage of RWA's morality campaign, and while my temper has settled to a low roar, I'm still deleting every other line I write about it.
Now that Big Sister has spoken*, I can see what's ahead. No doubt the membership will vote in favor of censorship** (if you don't, why then, you're not a nice girl writer, and we all want to be nice girl writers, yes?)
Any self-respecting and intelligent writer will likely quit rather than fight the many and clueless. Thus the romance herd will be safe, and clean enough to pose for smiling snapshots with the First Lady, and made to inbreed until all they produce are idiot books.
I guess I'm still a little too angry to write about this.
Not too angry to post a couple of clarifications, though:
*This is an old press release. Once the survey results are in, expect it to change.
**This is not the first time RWA has done something like this to their membership.
Now that Big Sister has spoken*, I can see what's ahead. No doubt the membership will vote in favor of censorship** (if you don't, why then, you're not a nice girl writer, and we all want to be nice girl writers, yes?)
Any self-respecting and intelligent writer will likely quit rather than fight the many and clueless. Thus the romance herd will be safe, and clean enough to pose for smiling snapshots with the First Lady, and made to inbreed until all they produce are idiot books.
I guess I'm still a little too angry to write about this.
Not too angry to post a couple of clarifications, though:
*This is an old press release. Once the survey results are in, expect it to change.
**This is not the first time RWA has done something like this to their membership.
It's not just RWA
PBW is going to get political for a minute. Please return your tray tables to the upright position.
Freedom of speech in America is always a serious issue, not just for those of us who depend on the First Amendment to protect us and our craft, but now the everyday average citizen who keeps an internet weblog.
To back track a little, censorship is basically about crowd control. Before the internet and the information age in which we live, politicians, the media and, by extension, religious leaders and big corporations decided what information was made available to Americans, and what was withheld. They pushed their own agendas and suppressed those which they opposed. They told us what to like, what to hate, and what to think. It's the traditional way leaders run a country and exercise power and influence over their populace.
Despite our laws separating church and state, a troubling amount of religious factions were/are involved in this censorship and media manipulation. Religious factions are the reason why the AIDs plague, for example, was not dealt with when it should have been, in the initial stages of the epidemic. No one wanted to talk about a disease that primarily affected gay men, because religious leaders labeled gay men as evil and the disease that was killing them as a punishment from God.
Ronald Regan, the much-loved U.S. President who received such a wonderful obituary when he finally dropped dead, wouldn't even say the word AIDs until April 2, 1987, when he issued this unconcerned statement: "How that information is used must be up to schools and parents, not government. But let's be honest with ourselves, AIDS information can not be what some call 'value neutral.' After all, when it comes to preventing AIDS, don't medicine and morality teach the same lessons."
Many people wept when Regan died. I wasn't one of them.
AIDs had already been identified six years before Regan spoke. One of his family friends, actor Rock Hudson, died of AIDs the year before the president made the little above mention. By the time our government acknowledged there even was a disease, nearly 100,000 people were infected with HIV. It spread beyond the gay community. People were infected through blood transfusions, IV needles and hetero sex. The God-punishment disease started killing housewives and Little Leaguers and newborn infants.
What was the price tag? The CDC has published online statistics in America only up to 2003, so these figures aren't even accurate:
"The cumulative estimated number of diagnoses of AIDS through 2003 in the United States is 929,985. Adult and adolescent AIDS cases total 920,566 with 749,887 cases in males and 170,679 cases in females. Through the same time period, 9,419 AIDS cases were estimated in children under age 13."
How many lives could we have saved if information about AIDs had not been suppressed by our own government? Here's the CDC death toll stats:
The cumulative estimated number of deaths of persons with AIDS through 2003 is 524,060, including 518,568 adults and adolescents, and 5,492 children under age 13.
The internet has taken access to information away from the media and the politicians, and made great progress in destroying censorship control. Anyone who followed the last Presidential election saw it happen in real time. Today anyone can be and is a source of information, opinion and debate on any subject. Having those resources accessible and available is why I consider myself to be living in the most enlightened time in American history.
That time will quickly come to an end if the internet is regulated. That could happen as early as next week.
Everyone should read Tech Central Station.com Editor Nick Schulz's interview with FEC Commissioner Brad Smith about regulation of political speech on the Internet. (Link nicked from ProfessorBainbridge.com.)
The FEC hearing is scheduled for June 28-29 in Washington D.C. To see what you can do to help fight the proposed FEC regulation, go over to the Center for Democracy and Technology's Protect Online Political Speech page. If you're still not sure why you should help fight this regulation, read this page.
Freedom of speech in America is always a serious issue, not just for those of us who depend on the First Amendment to protect us and our craft, but now the everyday average citizen who keeps an internet weblog.
To back track a little, censorship is basically about crowd control. Before the internet and the information age in which we live, politicians, the media and, by extension, religious leaders and big corporations decided what information was made available to Americans, and what was withheld. They pushed their own agendas and suppressed those which they opposed. They told us what to like, what to hate, and what to think. It's the traditional way leaders run a country and exercise power and influence over their populace.
Despite our laws separating church and state, a troubling amount of religious factions were/are involved in this censorship and media manipulation. Religious factions are the reason why the AIDs plague, for example, was not dealt with when it should have been, in the initial stages of the epidemic. No one wanted to talk about a disease that primarily affected gay men, because religious leaders labeled gay men as evil and the disease that was killing them as a punishment from God.
Ronald Regan, the much-loved U.S. President who received such a wonderful obituary when he finally dropped dead, wouldn't even say the word AIDs until April 2, 1987, when he issued this unconcerned statement: "How that information is used must be up to schools and parents, not government. But let's be honest with ourselves, AIDS information can not be what some call 'value neutral.' After all, when it comes to preventing AIDS, don't medicine and morality teach the same lessons."
Many people wept when Regan died. I wasn't one of them.
AIDs had already been identified six years before Regan spoke. One of his family friends, actor Rock Hudson, died of AIDs the year before the president made the little above mention. By the time our government acknowledged there even was a disease, nearly 100,000 people were infected with HIV. It spread beyond the gay community. People were infected through blood transfusions, IV needles and hetero sex. The God-punishment disease started killing housewives and Little Leaguers and newborn infants.
What was the price tag? The CDC has published online statistics in America only up to 2003, so these figures aren't even accurate:
"The cumulative estimated number of diagnoses of AIDS through 2003 in the United States is 929,985. Adult and adolescent AIDS cases total 920,566 with 749,887 cases in males and 170,679 cases in females. Through the same time period, 9,419 AIDS cases were estimated in children under age 13."
How many lives could we have saved if information about AIDs had not been suppressed by our own government? Here's the CDC death toll stats:
The cumulative estimated number of deaths of persons with AIDS through 2003 is 524,060, including 518,568 adults and adolescents, and 5,492 children under age 13.
The internet has taken access to information away from the media and the politicians, and made great progress in destroying censorship control. Anyone who followed the last Presidential election saw it happen in real time. Today anyone can be and is a source of information, opinion and debate on any subject. Having those resources accessible and available is why I consider myself to be living in the most enlightened time in American history.
That time will quickly come to an end if the internet is regulated. That could happen as early as next week.
Everyone should read Tech Central Station.com Editor Nick Schulz's interview with FEC Commissioner Brad Smith about regulation of political speech on the Internet. (Link nicked from ProfessorBainbridge.com.)
The FEC hearing is scheduled for June 28-29 in Washington D.C. To see what you can do to help fight the proposed FEC regulation, go over to the Center for Democracy and Technology's Protect Online Political Speech page. If you're still not sure why you should help fight this regulation, read this page.
Friday, June 24, 2005
BAM MacBride Update
To add a little intrigue to the Cold Granite giveaway contest, the unsuspecting victim author has threatened to sue graciously agreed to provide signed bookplates for the two winners. Contest ends midnight EST tonight.
Indiana Jones Jr.
A lot of us mom and dad writers have kids home for the summer, and on rainy days keeping them amused is a challenge. At my house we're into history and archaeology, so I went looking for some interesting sites where my kids can play online plus actually learn something. Here's what I found this week:
The American Museum of Natural History's 'Ology site. We just discovered this one, thanks to a mention in the July/August issue of Archaeology. Kids can collect 258 virtual cards while they cruise through the site and try out the different activities. (Click the curly arrow at the bottom right of the card to read the back.)
Dig, an archaeology magazine for kids that we subscribe to, has a neat companion site with online quizzes and fantastic factoids.
You need Shockwave to play on the Austrailian Broadcasting Corporation's site, the Holodek, but you can download it here.
Download-a-Dinosaur allows you to do just that so the kids can make paper models. For a paintable version, let them trace and cut the patterns out of craft foam or cardboard. (Or try the companion site, Download-a-Dragon, here.)
More links to great kids' web site can be found at Kid Arch and Dig magazine's links page.
The American Museum of Natural History's 'Ology site. We just discovered this one, thanks to a mention in the July/August issue of Archaeology. Kids can collect 258 virtual cards while they cruise through the site and try out the different activities. (Click the curly arrow at the bottom right of the card to read the back.)
Dig, an archaeology magazine for kids that we subscribe to, has a neat companion site with online quizzes and fantastic factoids.
You need Shockwave to play on the Austrailian Broadcasting Corporation's site, the Holodek, but you can download it here.
Download-a-Dinosaur allows you to do just that so the kids can make paper models. For a paintable version, let them trace and cut the patterns out of craft foam or cardboard. (Or try the companion site, Download-a-Dragon, here.)
More links to great kids' web site can be found at Kid Arch and Dig magazine's links page.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Darkness Needs No More
My third Darkyn novel, Darkness Has No Need, has officially been retitled by TPTB. (drum roll, please) The new title is now:
Dark Need
My sincere thanks to everyone who helped with suggestions.
The average writer's options in the retitling department are usually pretty limited. You can keep fussing and hate everything they suggest, of course, which makes you look like a jerk and everyone on the publishing side unhappy. Or you can grab a reasonably acceptable suggestion before the unhappy people think up something harder to swallow.
Moving right along, our pal Tam now needs a new title for her third novel, so if you've got a minute, stop in and share some inspiration.
Dark Need
My sincere thanks to everyone who helped with suggestions.
The average writer's options in the retitling department are usually pretty limited. You can keep fussing and hate everything they suggest, of course, which makes you look like a jerk and everyone on the publishing side unhappy. Or you can grab a reasonably acceptable suggestion before the unhappy people think up something harder to swallow.
Moving right along, our pal Tam now needs a new title for her third novel, so if you've got a minute, stop in and share some inspiration.
MacBride Contest Disclaimer
Unlike some authors, PBW can assure readers that no money, goods, services, kilts, bagpipes, kittens or beard kits were offered in exchange for her BAM Stuart MacBride contest giveaway. If I ever make it over to Scotland, though, somebody better buy me a decent cup of tea.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
BAM Truly Delivers
My friendly online BAM came through for me, and as of this moment I possess three brand new (unsigned) copies of Mr. MacBride's elusive novel, Cold Granite, version U.S.A.
Nice jacket photo, Stuart. Wait a minute, is that a scarf around your neck? Geez, what's next, a bottle green Jag in the background?
To further needle the author, I'm going to have a contest and give away* two of my copies to a couple of you faithful PBW readers. To enter: post your best imitation of Mr. MacBride on a bad day in comments -- no bleeding eyelid pics, please -- by midnight EST on Friday, 6/24/05. Winners to be announced on Sunday, 6/26/05, by noon EST.
Remember that my teleportation powers are limited, so I'll need a snail mail address from the two winners.
*Giveaway open to everyone on this planet; all I ask is that you please live in a country that doesn't regularly seize packages from the U.S.
Nice jacket photo, Stuart. Wait a minute, is that a scarf around your neck? Geez, what's next, a bottle green Jag in the background?
To further needle the author, I'm going to have a contest and give away* two of my copies to a couple of you faithful PBW readers. To enter: post your best imitation of Mr. MacBride on a bad day in comments -- no bleeding eyelid pics, please -- by midnight EST on Friday, 6/24/05. Winners to be announced on Sunday, 6/26/05, by noon EST.
Remember that my teleportation powers are limited, so I'll need a snail mail address from the two winners.
*Giveaway open to everyone on this planet; all I ask is that you please live in a country that doesn't regularly seize packages from the U.S.
Harry
It's deadline week at Casa PBW, and I'm ready for the final manuscript crunch. Got my tea canister stocked, the man briefed, the kids prepped, the pets pampered, the housework done, and seven meals pre-cooked, packed and in the freezer with instructions taped to the lids. Bought a brand new box of printer paper, a backup toner cartridge, and a document box ready for the final product.
All I need is a printer. Only I don't have one. Mine blew up.
Harry, my beautiful high volume laser printer, who has never failed me once in three years, died last week. I was in the middle of printing out a draft and he simply shut down. He would not respond to reason, pleading, begging, or tears. I had to rush him out to my repair guy and pray for it to be a simple fix.
Repair Guy called today with the good news. It's the fuse assembly, Ms. Kelly. Happens once in a while. I can fix it for a hundred thirty bucks, have it back to you by Thursday. It's a great machine, so it's worth it.
I know Harry is a great machine. I take care of Harry. He's worth more than $130.00 to me. Naturally I said, Fix him.
I triumphantly reported this minor fuse assembly situation to Angel, my technowiz and hardware consultant friend. Angel immediately disagreed with my decision. Harry's repair cost too much money; it wasn't worth it. We got into a volley of words as I defended my beautiful outdated high volume junky laser but no color Harry printer.
Angel insisted I go to the local computer store with all the bright new shiny laser printers and call him from there so he could use the visual aids to further explain the error of my ways. I went because I needed some document wallets, and the man did once prevent me from using a hedge trimmer to finish off a petulant FAX machine.
Look for the new HP all-in-one, I was told once I had arrived and phoned Angel from the store. Dutifully I found a monstrosity that had so many buttons and trays and feeders and flaps that it looked like a square R2D2. That one will print black-n-white and color, scan, FAX and copy stuff, he said. For less than what you paid for the old junky thing. See if they have a pamphlet.
Junky old thing. Angel simply doesn't understand my relationship with Harry. Harry has printed out my last eighteen novels. Harry has never let me down, never jammed paper, never spit blobs of toner on my manuscripts, and never skipped a page. Harry has been a constant, dependable presence in my career. Big bonus: Harry never argues with me.
I found the pamphlet for the R2D2-squared thing. It required not one but five different toner cartridges. The system requirements sounded like a shuttle preflight checklist. It did things for which I had no working definition. I flashed back on the first time I hooked up a VCR to a cable box, and superimposed scenes from a horrible seventies movie called The Demon Seed.
You sound like Darth Vader, Angel said over the phone. Quit it. You have to stop getting so attached to these things. How much do they want for it?
I finally looked at the price tag. $999.00. The cell phone didn't break when I dropped it, but I did have to call Angel back. Then there was a short interval of strangled choking noises through which I managed to relay the price.
Not bad, he said. Though I can probably get it for a hundred bucks less. Well?
I told him what I thought. In French, so I wouldn't get booted out of the store.
Angel sighed. You better not call me when that old junky thing blows a motherboard. Go on, run.
With much gratitude, I fled the store.
Harry will be home day after tomorrow. I can't wait to hook him back up. Two cords, one button, all done. Harry will never scan or FAX or copy or take over my house and reprogram me and the kids. He'll just print out manuscripts, which is fine with me. And if something else blows, well, how much could a motherboard cost, anyway?
All I need is a printer. Only I don't have one. Mine blew up.
Harry, my beautiful high volume laser printer, who has never failed me once in three years, died last week. I was in the middle of printing out a draft and he simply shut down. He would not respond to reason, pleading, begging, or tears. I had to rush him out to my repair guy and pray for it to be a simple fix.
Repair Guy called today with the good news. It's the fuse assembly, Ms. Kelly. Happens once in a while. I can fix it for a hundred thirty bucks, have it back to you by Thursday. It's a great machine, so it's worth it.
I know Harry is a great machine. I take care of Harry. He's worth more than $130.00 to me. Naturally I said, Fix him.
I triumphantly reported this minor fuse assembly situation to Angel, my technowiz and hardware consultant friend. Angel immediately disagreed with my decision. Harry's repair cost too much money; it wasn't worth it. We got into a volley of words as I defended my beautiful outdated high volume junky laser but no color Harry printer.
Angel insisted I go to the local computer store with all the bright new shiny laser printers and call him from there so he could use the visual aids to further explain the error of my ways. I went because I needed some document wallets, and the man did once prevent me from using a hedge trimmer to finish off a petulant FAX machine.
Look for the new HP all-in-one, I was told once I had arrived and phoned Angel from the store. Dutifully I found a monstrosity that had so many buttons and trays and feeders and flaps that it looked like a square R2D2. That one will print black-n-white and color, scan, FAX and copy stuff, he said. For less than what you paid for the old junky thing. See if they have a pamphlet.
Junky old thing. Angel simply doesn't understand my relationship with Harry. Harry has printed out my last eighteen novels. Harry has never let me down, never jammed paper, never spit blobs of toner on my manuscripts, and never skipped a page. Harry has been a constant, dependable presence in my career. Big bonus: Harry never argues with me.
I found the pamphlet for the R2D2-squared thing. It required not one but five different toner cartridges. The system requirements sounded like a shuttle preflight checklist. It did things for which I had no working definition. I flashed back on the first time I hooked up a VCR to a cable box, and superimposed scenes from a horrible seventies movie called The Demon Seed.
You sound like Darth Vader, Angel said over the phone. Quit it. You have to stop getting so attached to these things. How much do they want for it?
I finally looked at the price tag. $999.00. The cell phone didn't break when I dropped it, but I did have to call Angel back. Then there was a short interval of strangled choking noises through which I managed to relay the price.
Not bad, he said. Though I can probably get it for a hundred bucks less. Well?
I told him what I thought. In French, so I wouldn't get booted out of the store.
Angel sighed. You better not call me when that old junky thing blows a motherboard. Go on, run.
With much gratitude, I fled the store.
Harry will be home day after tomorrow. I can't wait to hook him back up. Two cords, one button, all done. Harry will never scan or FAX or copy or take over my house and reprogram me and the kids. He'll just print out manuscripts, which is fine with me. And if something else blows, well, how much could a motherboard cost, anyway?
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Focus Factors
I'm finding I have problems reading some blog posts out there. Not due to content, but the format of the post itself, especially posts I have to scroll down to keep reading. I've figured out a formula for it:
Extended length posts + small font - paragraph breaks = hard to follow text.
I have a form of visual ADD -- I tend to skim long blocks of text unless the content holds me -- but small-font text on the computer seems ten times worse than print. The more I read, the more the letters actually seem to dance across the window. Yet if there are paragraph breaks, the text doesn't do the Hustle, so I'm pretty sure it's not me (I plan to ask the eye doc next month when I go for my routine checkup.)
As to font size, the smallest print I can read in comfort seems to be 9 pt. Anything smaller is a challenge. Some font types are even hard to read at 10-11 pt. because the shapes of the letters can be easily confused with each other (arial, mangal, and trebuchet are natural focus-killers, for example.)
I also find I almost never read other writer's blogged snippets or short stories when I'm online. If I'm intrigued, I will print them out and read them off paper, but I avoid reading fiction off the screen. I do the same thing with e-books. I've always kidded around about being on the computer enough with my own work, but actually I have no logical excuse as to why it bugs me. An unnatural fixation with fiction on paper, perhaps?
What are your focus challenges when you're out and about blog-hopping?
Extended length posts + small font - paragraph breaks = hard to follow text.
I have a form of visual ADD -- I tend to skim long blocks of text unless the content holds me -- but small-font text on the computer seems ten times worse than print. The more I read, the more the letters actually seem to dance across the window. Yet if there are paragraph breaks, the text doesn't do the Hustle, so I'm pretty sure it's not me (I plan to ask the eye doc next month when I go for my routine checkup.)
As to font size, the smallest print I can read in comfort seems to be 9 pt. Anything smaller is a challenge. Some font types are even hard to read at 10-11 pt. because the shapes of the letters can be easily confused with each other (arial, mangal, and trebuchet are natural focus-killers, for example.)
I also find I almost never read other writer's blogged snippets or short stories when I'm online. If I'm intrigued, I will print them out and read them off paper, but I avoid reading fiction off the screen. I do the same thing with e-books. I've always kidded around about being on the computer enough with my own work, but actually I have no logical excuse as to why it bugs me. An unnatural fixation with fiction on paper, perhaps?
What are your focus challenges when you're out and about blog-hopping?
Monday, June 20, 2005
Building Ten
Ten Things to Help & Inspire Site Builders
1. Chris Locke's article Cheap Thrills for the Beer-Budget Blogger -- tools and tips from the BlogMaster (via Mandarin Design)
2. Don Barnett.com -- very talented artist and designer with an incredible portfolio.
3. Free Photo Station.com -- when you need an image but you dropped the digital camera in the dog's water bowl.
4. Free Toolkit.net -- "free online/offline tools, such as: flash generators, javascript generators, graphic generators, html code generators, calculators or translators, color charts, dhtml/css geneartors, system info tools, code validation, code convertors and more."
5. Fresh Templates.com -- view and download all kinds of templates.
6. The Vampyricon -- the official website for author Douglas Clegg's new dark fantasy series (before you link hop around, watch the top of the page.)
7. From Lynda.com, an index of creative and inspirational websites -- check these out to see other great ideas (found Don Barnett's site here.)
8. Templates Box.com -- more free templates.
9. Templates Land.com -- if you don't like what you see over at #8.
10. WebMasters Channel.com -- lots of freebies, downloads and other things for you Masters of the Web.
1. Chris Locke's article Cheap Thrills for the Beer-Budget Blogger -- tools and tips from the BlogMaster (via Mandarin Design)
2. Don Barnett.com -- very talented artist and designer with an incredible portfolio.
3. Free Photo Station.com -- when you need an image but you dropped the digital camera in the dog's water bowl.
4. Free Toolkit.net -- "free online/offline tools, such as: flash generators, javascript generators, graphic generators, html code generators, calculators or translators, color charts, dhtml/css geneartors, system info tools, code validation, code convertors and more."
5. Fresh Templates.com -- view and download all kinds of templates.
6. The Vampyricon -- the official website for author Douglas Clegg's new dark fantasy series (before you link hop around, watch the top of the page.)
7. From Lynda.com, an index of creative and inspirational websites -- check these out to see other great ideas (found Don Barnett's site here.)
8. Templates Box.com -- more free templates.
9. Templates Land.com -- if you don't like what you see over at #8.
10. WebMasters Channel.com -- lots of freebies, downloads and other things for you Masters of the Web.
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